Oh
by youdressedsofine
Summary: The one in which Blair falls first. Set during the latter half of s4. Dair fluff and fun. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I totally have another fic I should be working on but this plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. Remember 4x12? Blair starts her powerful woman crusade, Blair gets annoyed that Dan is at her penthouse to see Serena, Blair tells Serena to treat Dan better, Blair follows Dan with her eyes, Blair approaches Dan, Blair beginning to realize that Dan gets her, Blair tells her mom about Dan, Blair invites herself to the movies with Dan and looks back at him as she goes to change. I've always thought those were the beginnings of a crush. So, I've decided to pursue that angle. The time frame is a little odd. Basically, I think this takes place after 4x17 but before 4x18. Later events will likely happen but I'll work them into my AU world of Waldorf stumbling over Humphrey. The important thing is that Blair and Dan have switched places in regards to their feelings for one another. Blair might seem out of character to some but I love her light hearted side that we saw so much of in the Dair s4 arc so I'm just running with that side of her. She's just a little more frazzled than usual. Rest assured, her signature snark will still be here. One last thing: Dair have a new internship together at a different magazine. Reviews are always welcomed and loved! :)**

Blair spills her coffee. After she runs into a door. Before she stumbles over nothing.

"Oh. Just. Ugh." To top it all off she can't even form sentences. Get. It. Together. Blair. It was one dream. One dream that nobody knows anything about. One hot, really, really amazing dream that will never, ever be a reality. She's accepted this crush enough to know that's the real reason she's upset. Gone are the carefree days of plausible deniability. She wants Dan and she will never have him. Sure, she could scheme and get him. She doesn't want him like that, though. He's Dan. He's different. She wants him to want her. But he doesn't because she's a scheming, manipulative ice queen. Not to mention that he's in love with a personified ray of sunshine who also happens to be her best friend. He did kiss her, though. Well, more like she kissed him. But he was the one who showed up in her foyer with the all consuming, paralyzing thought. If he hadn't done that maybe she could have managed this. Now, she's like a Dan Humphrey monster. Friendship and banter aren't enough. Oh, but she can't have him like that. She just can't. C'est la vie. Grow up and get. Over. It.

"Blair?" Dan's bewildered voice interrupts her internal lecture. Apparently he saw her graceless entrance. _Why _did she get him an internship at the same magazine as her again? Oh, right, because she wants to be around him. Ok, so she did one little baby scheme. She will not do anything else, though! She looks over at him. His eyes get wide as he backs away from her. Oh, great. She must have accidentally snarled at him. Again. Way to make him fall, Waldorf.

"Are you going to cower like a kitten and stare all day or is there something you needed?" Might as well keep the icy facade going today.

"Sorry. You just..." His voice trails off in fear. Or is that sympathy? Pity? Great balls of fire. Dan Humphrey pities her? And she's only upset about that because she wants him to be impressed by her, not pity her? What is life?

"I just _what_, Humphrey? If you could get to the point today I would appreciate it. Some of us have actual responsibilities." She's reverted to the verbal equivalent of a seven year old boy pulling the pretty girl's pig tail on the playground. Thank God they have a history of friction. Oh, friction. Mmmmm...She's lost in her dream. Clothes flying. Hands gripping. One long, never ending kiss. Not close enough. Nails digging. Gasping and moaning. She can't think. She can barely process Dan's voice. What's he saying. She probably wants to hear this. Oh, but then there's more. He's in so deep. The only thing that might be better than fucking him is what he's saying right now. But, God, his skin feels good on hers. Oh, it's her name. She finally locks eyes with him. He's saying her name like a prayer. Like he can't believe they're here either, but he's so thankful they are. _Jesus, Blair._

"Jesus, Blair." Oh. Worlds collide. Back to reality. Dan's waving his hand in her face. "You have been so out of it lately. I thought it was all of the stress of your old internship. But, today, it's... honestly, it's a new level. You're-you're _frazzled_." He says bemusedly. Eyes dancing as he takes her in more fully.

"What? No." She scoffs. He thinks about her? Hmmm. She goes to casually toss her hair over her shoulder. There's nothing there. Where is her hair? Wasn't it there this morning? She frantically touches her head. Oh, she wore it in a top bun today. Oh.

"Blair." He's laughing now. He registers her frown and downcast eyes. Finds it less funny. "Seriously, what is going on? Are you ok?"

"Since when do you care?" That's not fair. She knows he cares. That's why she's here. That's why she's out of it. He cares. There's nothing in it for him, but he cares. Despite who she is and everything she's done, he's come to care about her. As a friend, at least. Maybe it's not the way she wants him to care, but it's still there. "Don't answer that. Just-just stop caring. There's really no need; I am fine." There's a little too much pep in that last statement. Fight is not working. Time for flight. She turns to leave. She feels his hand gently close around her arm in an effort to pull her back. Her eyes close instantly at the contact. She lets out a sigh and drops her head down. She didn't even know she needed that.

"Hey," His voice is all soft and warm, like her favorite blanket. He moves his hand from her arm to stroke her cheek. She hesitantly raises her eyes to his. She sees concern and affection. Damn those eyes. She finds herself moving closer to him, leaning her cheek into his touch. "I care, you know that. You can tell me what's wrong. You're my friend, Blair. You can tell me anything." Boom goes the dynamite. Blair Waldorf is stuck in the friend zone with Dan Humphrey. This can't be real life. She huffs and backs away. Gesticulating wildly.

"You. Well. I. And. No. Even. Yeah. Nope. Not. Ok. But I am. Ok. Ok?" Alright, _where_ have her syntax capabilities gone this morning? Her eyes are now darting between his face and the door. His eyes are now comically large. He's got his mouth quirked to the side in his absolutely adorable attempt to suppress his amusement. Oh, God. She's gone. Gone, gone, gone on Dan Humphrey. Get. It. Together. She smooths her dress and takes a breath. "Humphrey, that shirt is hideous." Finally, finally she's on her way out.

"Is that-Is that really the best you can come up with?" He asks in disbelief. He shakes his head slowly. Then more to himself than her, "Something is definitely wrong..." He's thinking something over, she can tell because he's got that little crease between his eyebrows and his mouth is stretched into a straight line. He opens his mouth to comment, his eyes look like he wants to say something, but he lets it go. He refocuses on her. "Look, Waldorf, my friendship won't be deterred by your half-hearted insults. Find me when you're ready to talk." And with that she storms away and slams the door. How dare he act like he knows her well enough to know that she's off her game! Who cares if he's right? Oh, yeah, she does. She leans against the door sullenly, pouting her lips. Then she remembers...she works in there. She throws her head back against the door in defeat. Oh, she's going to have to go back in. Damnit.

She tries to stealthily glide back through the office a few minutes later. Head high, Waldorf gait. She sees him see her. She's expecting that Humphrey smirk and wink that she would usually find obnoxious but not now because she is ass backwards crushing on Dan Humphrey. She's greeted instead with something that's somehow even better: he's crossing the room to offer her a fresh cup of coffee. He doesn't say another word as she hesitantly takes the cup. He gives her a sympathetic tilt of his head and an encouraging smile before he simply walks away. Oh, that helped. She wants him. She is mentally stomping her feet. She _really_ wants him, universe. If this is Dan's friendship what's his more than friendship like? And that kiss. Oh, she can't take it. Since when does Blair Waldorf leave anything to chance? He just needs a minuscule push. And, really, what's one more teeny tiny little infant scheme? It'd be harmless, really. Surely a scheme in the name of romance can't be all that bad, right? Especially an innocent scheme! Yes, this will be a romantic comedy kind of scheme, not a dark thriller kind of scheme. Oh, it'll be just like one of those classic screw-ball movies they love to watch! She'll put Howard Hawks to shame! It'll be adorable and he'll laugh lovingly at her hijinks as she falls coquetteishly into his arms and the credits roll. Oh, she's talking herself into scheming for Dan Humphrey's affection. Christ, she's falling for him. _Oh. _


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, thank you all so much for the reviews, faves, and follows! It really means alot and definitely helps with the inspiration. :) Anyway, I have some stuff for upcoming chapters written and I've got it all kind of mapped out so hopefully I'll be able to update regularly. I know basically where I want this to go and, as a Dair fan, I'm excited about it. lol I just want to get there! I'll definitely be tying in more canon material, or well, general canon events, I guess. They won't be canon by the time I'm done with them, though. And I'm glad we all seem to be on the same page about Blair's feelings. She was totally crushing! **

Blair screams when she sees them. Her hands actually fly to her face in an effort to cover her eyes. It's too horrible to be real.

She had been waiting on that elevator ding all morning. Dan was coming over to pick her up for a day of exhibits, debate, and food. Or so he thought. Really he was coming over to get trapped in an elevator. After much threatening and, eventually, bribing Blair had the perfect stuck in an elevator scenario planned. Or so she thought. She thought it was unusual that Dan was an hour late and hadn't called but she could be patient. Blair could always wait for her rewards, so long as she knew they were coming. The blonde goddess intercepted this reward, however. She misses the days when a bribe actually meant something. In these modern times, bribes are too easily proffered and thus not given the proper care they require. Case in point...

Serena and Dan. Dan and Serena. Groping each other like a couple of horny middle schoolers in a dark theater. Except they're in _Blair's _elevator. In broad daylight. Have they no decency?! And what of shame?! Dan's supposed to be groping Blair inapproriately, not Serena! How dare they. It's ok, though. It's just another failed "Woo Dan Humphrey" scheme to add to the rapidly growing pile. She can bounce back from this too.

"Whoa, B. Are you ok?" Serena's the first to comment on her apparent mental break. Now Blair can't tear her eyes away from Serena's leg hiked up around Dan's waist and the kung fu grip she has on him. She can feel Dan following her eyes with his own. She briefly meets his. The flicker of confusion that runs across his features as he breaks away from Serena lets her know she's doing a terrible job of hiding her feelings. She's getting worse and worse with that these days.

"No, Serena, I am decidedly not ok. My breakfast is dangerously close to making a reappearance." She scrunches up her face in disgust. "The next time you and Humphrey regretfully choose to try to sail this ship of doom, _again,_ please do it somewhere other than my elevator." She shakes her head as though she's trying to rid herself of the image. As if a mere shake of the head could help. Have they made any advances in brain bleaching? Oh, she has an audience. She clears her throat. "Now, Serena, if you don't mind, get out." Oops. That came out a little more forcefully than one might have liked. More sweetly, "I'll be accompanying you to your photoshoot today as Epperley is working it and is simply desperate for my expertise. I refuse to be late because of your regressive hormones. Oh, and, Humphrey, you're dismissed for the day. More important matters have come up. Something tells me you're familiar with that, though. Ta!" She flashes her best Queen B smirk as she yanks Serena out of the elevator and a puzzled Dan is sent back down to the lobby.

"B, I'm so excited you're coming today! It's going to be just like old times. I'm going to run upstairs and get my stuff." And now she's just going to walk away like she wasn't mauling Dan Humphrey. Blair's Dan Humphrey! Wellll. Ok, technically, he's more Serena's than Blair's but Blair has been working on that very issue. Regardless, he's not property and Serena has no more claim to him than any other person on the planet. There. Rationalization is such a useful psychological tool.

"Serena!" Blair calls after her and meets her on the staircase. "Do you really think you're going to just walk away after...that?" Oh, she hopes this is coming across as concerned and not as raging, jealous lunacy. It's a fine line.

"Oh, that? Blair, we just happened to get stuck in an elevator together and, I don't know... One thing led to another. I don't think it's such a big deal. We have a history that makes it kind of comfortable for us to slip into things like that. You know like you and Chuck." Blair's eyes nearly bug out of her head. Good grief. That's the last comparison she wants to hear. Serena shrugs as she continues up the stairs. "I don't know, though, maybe that history really just makes it more complicated when we're physical. I guess we'll see. Let me get my stuff together. I don't want to slow you down, remember?"

"I just hate to see you backsliding, S!" Blair anxiously calls after her.

"Ok, B. I hear ya." Blair heads back downstairs when she hears Serena's door close.

She can't. Serena cannot want Dan back. Blair cannot compete with Miss Sweetness and Light herself. She can't. Oh my God. Serena's legs are as long as Blair's entire body. She'll never win. And she doesn't want this for their friendship. Blair only makes it to the bottom step of the staircase. She has to sit down. If Serena wants Dan, Blair would have to let go. Their friendship couldn't survive another "The Boy is Mine" scenario. Not to mention, if Dan wants Serena then Blair wants that for him. If Serena is what would make Dan happy then Blair can't begrudge him that. No, she'd gladly step aside if it meant he'd be happy. Well, she wouldn't be glad so much as completely and utterly distraught, but the sentiment holds. This whole selfless thing is really ruining her life.

She doesn't really want to be selfless, though. She's worked so hard. She tried getting them locked in the office together. Only, unbeknownst to Blair, Dan ended up running out right before everyone left for the day to grab some important flash drive so she ended up getting locked in the office with the mouth breathing computer tech. Dan did wait for her to be let out, though. Well, he had to have the flash drive on a senior editor's desk by 6am or else. So there was that. But he definitely asked if she was alright. She pouted her way into getting him to blow off dinner with his father to take her for a drink after her trying ordeal with the aforementioned mouth breather. She thought that would be a good time to enact Scheme 2: the old two hot friends get tipsy and commiserate, only to end up having the best sex ever and wondering why they'd overlooked eachother for so long. Only Blair got hammered while Saint Dan, of course, remained relatively sober so he could keep an eye on her. Noble bastard. So she did the most lady like thing she could: threw up on his shoes. Shoes that she then didn't even apologize for ruining. No, she's pretty sure she told him that he should really be grateful to her for ridding him of the atrocious burden that he called footwear. See, if nothing else, these schemes are showing him that she can be a real sweetheart. She thought she could use her hangover to put Scheme 3 into motion: the mysterious suitor. She sent herself peonies, macaroons, and even jewelry. Her admirer is just _so_ sorry she's not feeling well! Dan barely noticed. She literally had to bring it to his attention. Then he just rolled his eyes and absently said he didn't realize that she and Chuck were back together as he continued past her desk. The macaroons didn't survive the morning. The elevator was supposed to be Scheme 4. She was even going to blow off the photoshoot. It's not something she intended to make a habit but this was important. Dan is important. Serena ruined it, though. All Serena had to do was walk into an elevator and she ends up with her tongue down his throat. Meanwhile, Blair has tried, really tried and gotten nowhere.

Maybe she should give up. Except there's a reason she's worked so hard and there's a reason she keeps trying. She just knows that she and Dan could be special. She cares about him in a way she didn't know she was capable of. She wants the chance to show him who she really is. She's beginning to understand that there's more to her than a scheming, manipulative ice queen. She knows that all of this growth has at least a little bit to do with him. She wants to show him how good she could be for him. But there's Serena...Serena who is all apathy and indifference. If Blair had Dan in the position that Serena does she wouldn't be so flippant and careless. Quite the opposite. Then Serena never has appreciated her toys. Why should Dan have to settle for apathy when he could have commitment? That's it. She's not giving up. Not until Dan gets it. He deserves more than being strung along while Serena flits through life. Blair Waldorf is not a quitter.

"You ready?" Serena interrupts her thoughts. She's all smiles and rainbows. She can't even blame her. Blair'd be in a good mood too if she'd just had a hot elevator make out session with Dan. Oh, she still is not entirely used to those thoughts. "Blair?"

"Hmmm? Oh." Blair smiles at Serena as she gathers her purse and coat. "Yes, I'm ready. I am so ready."

As the two make their way through the lobby, Blair spots the incompetant door man she had bribed to turn off the electricity to the elevator. She snarls at him as she passes by. How very fortunate for him that she has much bigger plans to deal with. She would let him off with a punishment from the minions. Knowing those lackwits they'll probably take him out for ice cream and view the caloric intake as justice served. Oh well. No time for petty revenge schemes when Dan Humphrey awaits.

**A/N 2: I apologize for the lack of Dair interaction here. There will be lots and lots and lots in Chapter 3, though! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello, hello! Thank you for all of the reviews, faves, and follows...again! It's so nice to see all of that! I apologize for the delay. The good news is Chapter 4 is pretty much ready. I just need to do an edit so I should have it up later today. Aaaand it is all Dair! This chapter is pretty much a straight rip off of 4x18, folks. Only with a Dair influence. You'll recognize alot of the dialogue. It's kind of just a necessary evil to get to the next points. Anyway, enjoy! **

Blair is concerned. Make that very concerned. Epperley has been concussed. Or she has fallen madly in love with a suave cult leader. Either way, Blair couldn't care less about Epperley's mental state. She's really very concerned that she has decided to let the ramblings of said concussed or smitten woman influence her life.

She had barely taken off her coat and purse before Epperley had her cornered. Walking and talking. Somehow a conversation about the woeful decision making skills of the Suttons' turned into a heart to heart about love and soulmates. Blair found herself confessing to Epperley that Dan's kiss had changed her life. Well, Blair had sense enough not to mention Dan. She's still mid-scheme. She can't have him finding out before she's ready.

Except now she thinks she is ready. It's time. She can't wait any longer. She's going to tell Dan how she feels about him tonight. She doesn't care if he's ready. He will be when he hears her confession. He has to be. All of Epperley's talk about love and soul mates has her feeling romantic and optimistic...and enlightened. When Epperley began her love is blind talk Blair had been mentally rolling her eyes when it hit her. Chuck wasn't her first thought. It was Dan. Dan and that kiss. Well, ok her first thought actually involved a shrimp fork and her eye. But after that she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Dan. And so here she is waiting for Dorota to bring her overnight bag. She's going to see him directly after this shoot. She can't wait. She shouldn't wait. The overnight bag may be a tad presumptuous but then she is Blair Waldorf. Besides it can't hurt to have a contingency plan involving La Perla lingerie. She refuses to let Dan go. Blonde bombshell or no. The slam of the door shakes her from her thoughts. Oh, Dorota. Finally.

"You're late." Blair says half heartedly and dismisses the thought quickly. She is too blissful to deal with Dorota's time management skills, or lack there of.

"And you're glowing." Blair can only smile. She knows Dorota's right. "Why make me bring overnight bag? Including La Perlas?" Dorota is questioning her. It must be such a nice life to have help that isn't so curious.

"Because," Oh, what the hell. An ally would be nice. "I'm going to tell that certain someone my true feelings tonight. And if everything goes as I hope I don't want to be caught in last year's Chantelle." An ally on a need to know basis.

"I don't think Dan Humphrey will know difference." Damnit. Blair has been awful at concealing this, hasn't she. Yes, the sooner it comes out the better. And, really, Dorota is getting awfully snobby.

"I'm not sure I like that tone, Dorota. Perhaps this would be a good time to remind you that you are here to serve, not judge." Blair can't help but snap. "Dan Humphrey may be from Brooklyn," she only hesitates for a moment on Brooklyn. Oh, she's getting so much better at this. "But I am still Blair Waldorf and I will know difference...ugh, _the_ difference. I don't even care if he knows the difference. Maybe he deserves the difference more than some people whether he knows it or not. And how did you know I was talking about Dan anyway?"

"I may be servant but I not blind. I know all about your hot, winter Brooklyn nights and emotional affair with Lowly Boy." Dear Lord. Dorota's practically beaming with pride.

"Dorota, wipe that smirk off of your face or I will send you to Chuck for a week." There. The smirk is gone. She doesn't feel any better. She frowns and looks down. "Your implications are all wrong, anyway. Lowly...oh, damnit Dorota, _Lonely _Boy and I have not had any hot Brooklyn nights or any kind of affair. Not yet. It was just a kiss and some movies and friendly support. A kiss and some movies and friendly support that made me realize how much I want to be with him. Hence your delivery of the overnight bag."

"Yes, but kiss was week ago. I know you see him since then. I know movies and friendship been happening for months. I also know you try some kind of schemes that backpedal. Why you give up schemes and confess tonight?"

"'Schemes that backpedal?' Honestly, Dorota, how do you expect me to communicate with you?" Blair waves it off. "I'm confessing tonight because I had an enlightening conversation with Epperley today. I realized that I'm ready to tell him how I feel. When you realize you want someone like I want him, you want them as soon as possible, dear, innocent Dorota."

"I call bullshit!"

"Dorota!" Blair's mouth is agape. What has gotten into her today?

"I know Miss Serena have steamy makeout in elevator with Mister Dan!"

"That has nothing to do with it, Dorota. I was going to continue the schemes until I talked to Epperley, rather she talked to me about true love and soulmates and it hit me." She's lowered her voice and is studying her hands.

"What hit you, Miss Blair?" Dorota has moved closer and lovingly places a hand on Blair's back.

Blair lets out a long sigh. "When Epperley was talking about those things, I was thinking about Dan. Chuck didn't enter my mind until minutes later when I realized I wasn't thinking of him. I want Dan, Dorota. Only Dan." Blair can't help the small smile that has spread across her lips.

"Oh, Miss Blair." Dorota says quietly as she pulls Blair into a hug. "I so proud of you. And happy. Happy for you."

"I am too. Proud and happy. It's a nice change." Blair says with relief.

Dorota pulls back and narrows her eyes. "But admit, this part to do with Serena and Dan frisky business."

"Oh! That is it." She shoots her a scowl and points to the door. "Go! Right now."

Oh, God. They're so sticky. Blair is dealing with a licorice crisis. Yes, this is where her road to a woman of power has taken her: Children who can't handle their licorice. She's doing her best to seem non-plussed but inside she is having a meltdown. She may have to go home and shower after this. Dan probably is not turned on by licorice. Correction: Dan _hopefully_ is not turned on by licorice. Dan _hopefully_ is turned on by Upper Eastside queens confessing their love in La Perla. Dan...

...is here. Oh, shit. Why is he here? Oh, God. Why is here looking so good? That suit is too nice for every day Humphrey. She feels her heart sink. He must be here for the buxom blonde. Of course. She decides to be honest and he decides to regress. Oh, damnit. He is right in her path now. More like he is inserting himself in her path. He is always just inserting himself. In her life, in her foyer, in her dreams, in her movie theaters, in her head, in her museums, in her heart. It's so rude! It must be his Brooklyn upbringing.

"Blair! Hey, uhhh, I wanted to talk to you for a second, but I can see you've got your hands full." Dan says as he gestures to the licorice lovers. Ugh. She was hoping she could ignore him out of her way. See. Inserting! Meanwhile he's really interested in inserting his tongue...and other things...in Serena's mouth...and other things. The nerve. He's supposed to want to insert _those_ things in Blair!

"The Lansburys had too much licorice." He's killed her good mood. Granted he was responsible for the good mood, but still. She's not going to play nice when he's here looking like that for another girl. "What's up?"

"I'm here to get my photo taken!" Dan says as he adorably throws his arms out and moves his hips forward. No, really, it's so adorably dorky that Blair wants to just grab him and kiss him and...wait. Who the hell wants to take his photo? She furrows her brows and tilts her head to question him. He stops the adorably dorky thing. Thank God. Because Blair is in a tangle here. He's being adorable, she's turned on by it, and now he's here to have his photo taken? What is going on? "Uhh. For the 'Up and Comers' section, y'know?"

Oh, so he's not here for Serena. She can feel the smile forming on her face. Que ice queen.

"This isn't a photoshoot for a high school yearbook; there is no 'Up and Comers' section." Ok, she may be falling for Dan but she is still Blair Waldorf. Surely, he knows better than this. And if he doesn't then it's now her responsibility to help him. "And even if there were, I mean let's face it, Humphrey, you still wouldn't make the cut." He made out with Serena! That was a totally fair and justified comment.

He's laughing but he doesn't seem very amused. "Tell me you didn't do this just to humiliate me." Yep, definitely more embarrassed than amused. Maybe a little hurt. And he thinks she would do this to him? Oh my God. He really must think she's awful. Which is a somewhat fair assumption based on the past. She's grown, though. She'd hoped he was seeing that.

"What? No." She really wants to say that there is no way she would ever do this to him. Well, not now. In fact, she wants to get revenge on the person who did do this. Details. "I don't even know what this is."

"Epperley called me and told me I was in this shoot. What-you didn't-you didn't have anything to do with that?" He's stammering and looking at her like he doesn't believe her. Now who's a little hurt.

"No. And I don't know why Epperley would-" Then she sees him. Dan follows her line of vision. Mother Chucker. There he is. Of course. "Oh, God. It's Chuck." She feels sick. "He knows."

Chuck's "Blair's happy, must destroy" senses must have been tingling. Now he's trying to make his way out of the photoshoot. It's just like him. Drop a bomb and move along. Not on her watch. Not anymore. Not with Dan.

"This was all you, wasn't it?! You had Epperley hire me and call Dan and tell him that he was-"

"An up and comer? What the hell is your problem, man?" She's glad to hear Dan behind her, standing up for himself too. Also, damn. This was a good scheme. Damn. Damn. Damn. Why didn't she think of it? Only Dan would have actually been in the photoshoot, of course. And she would have been assigned to help him. Ugh! Damn, why is Chuck so good at this? More importantly, why is he still using his powers for evil?

"Are you trying to humiliate him? What, is that it?" God, she's so over this pettyness. Chuck finally stops and acknowledges her and Dan.

"I don't care about him one way or the other. I just wanted you to see that he's not a part of this world." She's too stunned and sad to speak or move. She can hear Dan shuffling uncomfortably beside her. She wants to hug him and tell him Chuck's wrong. But she can't. "I know you kissed him."

She looks over at Dan to find him looking at her. Damnit. This is hers. Hers and Dan's. They haven't even talked about their kiss and yet here's Chuck bringing it up as if it somehow involves him.

"So? You and I are not dating." She can't even believe she has to have this conversation with him. "And you've kissed alot of people." Hello! Her feminist flag is about to start flying.

"You're not supposed to kiss _him_! He's hum drum Humphrey." Blair can see the disgust on Chuck's face. She doesn't want to look at him anymore. She just wants to focus on Dan. She saw him lower his head out of the corner of her eye. She can hear him shuffling his feet again. "Epperley told me the kiss was life changing."

Oh, shit. So it hadn't occurred to her that Epperley's talk about love must have been the result of Chuck's machinations and not Epperley's assumed brain injury. Until now. Oh, God. Think. Anything. Why is Blair Waldorf's brain not producing a lie on the spot? Who is she?! Uh, Epperley lied? A misquote? You know slander is really a growing problem. Her original theory: Epperley has been concussed? Anything is better than this. She's about to open her mouth and say God knows what when Dan starts to speak.

"Chuck, calm down and leave her alone. Save your controlling tendencies for someone else, or, actually, just save them altogether." He looks at Blair and shakes his head. He doesn't seem to understand why she puts up with such behavior. Frankly, these days, neither does she. He turns back to address Chuck again. "Anyway, the kiss is not a big deal. Not that any of this concerns you, at all, but I'm sure Epperley was confused or lying or maybe it was life changing just not in the way you think. I mean, I don't know, but it's such a non issue that Blair and I haven't even talked about it. We both know it meant nothing. Right, Blair?" Dan waits for her response. When it doesn't come he slowly turns to look at her with questioning eyes.

Red. The world has turned red. She is going to kill Dan Humphrey and Chuck Bass and Epperley...what is Epperley's last name? Oh, who cares. She's so taken aback by Dan's flippant dismissal of their kiss that she's thrown off her game. Again. Damn Dan Humphrey. Damn him to Hell.

"Yeah. Right. Sure." Oh, no. Not again. Sentences. Form sentences. She shakes her head slightly before addressing Chuck. "Shocking as it may be, Humphrey is right for once in his sad life." She tosses her hair over her shoulder. Hit that one and onto the next one. "Not that it is your concern, but it was quite like kissing a toad. Though, I've never kissed a toad so that may be unfair to the poor creature." Done. She smiles sweetly at Dan. The kiss meant nothing. Yeah. Right. Sure. Oh, she could just scream.

"Wow. Please don't spare my feelings or anything." Dan chuckles as he shoves his hands in his pockets.

"Well, you started it." Ugh. She didn't mean to say that out loud. And, really, 'you started it?' Is she 5?

"Started what?" He gives Blair a confused look. She's just staring at him blankly when his confusion turns to amusment. Oh, he's getting ready to banter. "And that was a really great defense, by the way. I haven't heard it since kindergarten." She's preparing what will actually be a great retort when she registers that Chuck is staring at them like a damn creeper. He is ruining the banter! That is where she draws the line.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." She just wants to get rid of Chuck and get on with this day. She needs to regroup and decide what her plan is now. Operation Get Dan is turning into one failed mission after the other. She needs a relaxing night. "Chuck, just to recap: the kiss was meaningless to me and, possibly, Dan, he is from Brooklyn so one can't be sure of his moral fiber." Her heart speeds up a little when she hears Dan's "she's ridiculous and offensive yet I can't help myself" laugh. Yay. Earning that laugh has become her new favorite pasttime. "Regardless, whatever that kiss meant- or didn't mean, as it were- it has nothing to do with you. That's the most important thing for you to remember. I think we're finished here." She says as she turns to leave the room.

She runs into Dan again at the shoot. She's not sure why he's still here but she's glad for the opportunity to reiterate that she wasn't a part of _this_ scheme.

"I had no idea." It spills out as soon as he's close. Ok, well, sequiturs are overrated, anyway.

"No, I know." He says it like it was ridiculous that he ever thought she was involved. Oh, faith. She likes that feeling.

"Nice suit, though." You scratch my back, I scratch yours. And, really, he should be encouraged to dress like this.

He laughs like there's some kind of joke she's missing. "Thanks."

"Uh, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?" Blair Waldorf is desperate. Desperate to keep him here, talking to her.

"Oh, I just wanted to make sure you knew that kiss meant nothing to me...like it did to you." And the record skips. She's so glad she asked that question!

"Oh. Right." She's too hurt to come up with anything. It was one thing to say that to Chuck, the less he knew the better, but it's just the two of them now. No reason to lie.

"A social experiment gone wrong." He adds for good measure. All this time and energy and schemes and feelings...for 'a social experiment gone wrong?' Ouch. _Ouch._

"A princess kissing a labrador." She might as well add to the fun.

He chuckles. She'd love that if it wasn't so expensive this time. "I-I appreciate you not calling me a toad. Again." She gives him what must look like the most pathetic smile ever. She just wants to cry. "Uh, Blair, your prince is out there waiting for you. It might not be me or Chuck, but he's out there." Oh, how lovely. She's barely listening at this point. Just smile and nod. Then she sees her. Of course.

"Your princess is out there too. If you're ready for her." She can't even look at him. It doesn't matter because he's already turned around to catch the beauty of the sun before she's even left the room. Of course.

She's helping Epperley finish up when she something catches her eye. Hmmm. She could use this. It's like a sign from God. She just knows it. Blair Waldorf doesn't give up! It was one kiss. Maybe Dan just needed more than one kiss. Lots of things need more than one shot. And she knows he and Serena left separately. That's something. Maybe. Oh, she will take this sign from God and put it to good use. At the very least Dan needs his tie back. She clutches it to her chest as she races out the door. Epperley and this shoot can go straight to Hell. She's got better things to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: You're all too kind! Thank you so much for everything! I'm a little later than I said but here's Chapter 4...obviously lol. I'm working on Chapter 5 & I'm having a lot of fun with it. It'll be a longer wait than this one but it is coming! I hope y'all enjoy! :)**

Blair knows. She knows good and well this tie she is clutching does not belong to Dan Humphrey. But it's a sign from God, ok? She knows this is desperate and dangerous. She knows and she does not care. She knows this because she saw Dan leave the shoot. His tie was still in place around his collar. She does not care because now she's here and he's holding open the door as he gives her a quizzical smile.

"Blair? What are you doing here?"

"This." She answers as she waves the tie out in front of her. "You left it behind at the shoot."

"Uhhh..." He's giving her the strangest look. Oh, for crying out loud. He knows.

"Humphrey. The tie. Take it!" She's shoving it at him now.

"I appreciate you bringing that out here, but it's not mine." He narrows his eyes as he looks at her. "And, actually, you know that because I said goodbye to you on my way out. With my tie on."

"Nope. This is your tie. I'm sure of it." She's still holding it out in front of her expectantly. Why, oh, why can't he just cooperate and take the damn thing?

"Blair. That's not my tie. It's-Is that even black?" His eyes widen as the realization hits him. Oh my God. She's horrified as she realizes he's right. Damnit. How did she miss that?! Ok, God should really be a little more detail oriented in the future. Dan's got that frustrating grin on his face. "That's blue, Blair. That is a blue tie. What are you doing?"

"I am not doing anything other than being a good samaritan! I-You have awful mood lighting in here. It's clearly a black tie, Dan. A black tie that you forgot you left at the shoot. So, here." She is going to hold this tie in front of him all night if she has to.

"Why are you trying to gaslight me with a tie?" He's laughing now. Great.

"I am not trying to gaslight you at all! As if. I thought it was your tie! It is your tie! Just. Take. It." She shoves the tie into his chest as she moves past him and into the loft. He shakes his head as he closes the door.

"Fine. You win. Thank you for bringing me my tie, Waldorf." He looks at it and tosses it behind him as he moves into the kitchen.

"Oh, you are so welcome." She smiles sweetly as she makes her way to a barstool. Now that that unpleasantness is behind them... "So, what's going on in Brooklyn tonight? Anything exciting?" Dan stops rifling through the cabinets and turns to stare at her. Oh, too far.

"You know, Blair, you don't need excuses to come here. We're friends. My door is always open." Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. Friends? Is he really just not going to let her get away with this tie thing? And _friends_ again?!

"Humphrey! Are you really that concerned about the tie? Who even cares? It was an accident! An honest mistake." He is ruining her-_their_-sign from God! Shouldn't he be smited or something by now? "I'm here now, so I thought we could make the best of it. But if you don't want to that's fine. Just fine!" She hops off of the barstool and knocks it over in the process. "Oh! Invest in sturdier furniture!" She snaps as she's bolting for the door. But then Dan is standing in front of her.

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry." He's holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm glad you're here. I am. Even if you're making very un-Blair Waldorf like mistakes in your desperation for some Brooklyn time." She lets out a strangled yelp and goes to move around him. He puts his arm out to block her as he laughs. "Ok! I believe you. I believe you! I shouldn't have given you a hard time. Especially since you're color blind." Her eyes widen again.

"I have banished people for less insolence, Humphrey!" Oh, banishment might be a sensitive subject. She makes a mental note to possibly consider letting Jenny visit the city.

"Last one! I promise!" He can't seem to control his amusement over the whole thing. She finds herself doing a terrible job of hiding her own amusement. Maybe being teased isn't always so bad. He touches her shoulder lightly as he moves past her and back into the kitchen. "Do you want some tea? Pizza? A movie? Lady's choice, since you did bring me my black tie that I never would have even missed if it weren't for you."

Her eyes light up and she tries to stifle her delighted smile. She loves it when he lets her win. "That's more like it, Humphrey. I'll have some tea, please." She makes her way over to the sofa.

"Can we just address the giant, orange elephant in the room?" Dan asks a few minutes later as he hands her a mug of tea. "Be careful. That's hot." He says when he sees her about to take a sip. She carefully moves the cup from her mouth and places it on the table. He's always doing things like that. It's sad, but she doesn't think anyone has ever been so considerate of her. He positions himself on the sofa so that he's facing her. "So? Elephant? Can we talk about it?"

"But there are so many. Where ever shall we start?" She sighs as she smooths her skirt and turns to face him as well. Kisses? Feelings? That tie that she knows he knows she knows isn't his? Serena? Sex dreams? Schemes? Those are all elephants that he doesn't see, though. Except for the blasted tie. Thanks a lot, God.

"With the biggest and orangest of them all. The one named Chuck Bass, my dear." Dan gives her a disapproving look. Oh, _that_ one.

"Oh, Humphrey. I have moved on from him. I can't help that he chooses to spend his time stalking me. Nor do I particularly care." She hopes her casual attitude will steer him away from the topic. She didn't come here to talk about Chuck Bass.

"You should care." Dan says with concern. "Blair, I really think that he thinks he owns you. Or, at the very least, that he has some kind of power over you or right to you. Is that what you want? Do you like that? I'm not trying to judge-"

"No! No, I don't want that and I don't like it. I don't." She's shaking her head vehemently. She didn't mean to cut him off but she didn't need to hear his intent. She knows he's coming from a place of friendship and concern. He does, however, need to hear that she's over this sick game Chuck thinks he is running. "I guess I thought that was love. I went from Nate who was practically apathetic about me to Chuck who is anything but. He's all extremes, but it was something. I wanted so desperately to be seen then. I-I mistook his jealousy and cruelty and possessiveness for love. I know that that's not love. Not the kind I want, anyway. I mean there were good times but I just don't think there were enough to cancel out all of the bad. And there was an awful lot of bad, now that I think about it. I...I just-" She's getting emotional and she can feel her eyes watering. What is it about him that just compels her to share her heart?

"Hey," His voice is so soft as he pulls her into his arms. She rests her head against his shoulder as she readies her confession. "What's wrong?"

"Dan, I-I'm just so scared that Chuck is all I deserve. It truly terrifies me that he might actually be it for me." She lifts her head from his shoulder to meet his eyes. "I don't want that. I don't want that life anymore. Please tell me I'll get something more." She can't fight the tears that are falling from her eyes. "Oh, God. I don't want that. I don't." She's shaking her head as a sob escapes. She lifts her hands to cover her face. She is now officially ugly crying in front of the boy she's lusting after. Terrific. But then Dan pulls her back to him. He wraps her in a hug that she feels all the way to her heart. He kisses her head and begins whispering to her. And it really is starting to feel a little closer to terrific.

"Shhh. Blair, you will. You will. You'll get something more. I know it. You could have it right now if you wanted it. It's all up to you." There's a long, heavy silence that settles between them. Blair wants to analyze that comment. She feels like there's something there worth figuring out but then he's stroking her back in slow, soothing circles and thinking just isn't in the cards. "It-It's ok. You're Blair Waldorf. You can have whatever you want. You know that." She can feel him smiling into her hair. She lets out another sob. He has no idea.

"That's not true. I almost never get what I want. Everyone has this perception that I get what I want but it's not true. I wanted Nate, I wanted Yale, I wanted W, I want..." She's bites her lip hard so the truth doesn't slip through. She's thankful her head is resting against his chest. She's not sure he's ready to hear or see what she wants yet. There are just so many unknowns and she's so scared of losing him completely if she says too much, if she feels too much. "I want to be happy. The only thing I've gotten that I wanted is Chuck and look where that's gotten me. Maybe I shouldn't get the things I want." She lets out a short laugh that's more bitter than joyful.

"Don't say that. Of course you should get the things you want. I see you fight so hard for what you want. It's incredible. _You're _incredible. God, Blair, do not let Chuck Bass take one more thing from you."

Suddenly, he's pulling back to look at her. She can't. She's looking everywhere, anywhere but at him. "Blair, please look at me." But, my, they have such fascinating walls in Brooklyn! "Hey, come on." He's tugging lightly on the ends of her hair. It's so adorable that she can't help the shy smile that's starting to shine through the tears. "Oh, there's that smile. That's better. Now just look at me for one minute." He's stroking her cheek now. She's done. She can't even control her eyes anymore. They move right to his.

"So stubborn, Waldorf." He gives her the sweetest smile and she's so hooked. "Listen, I want you to hear this. To really hear this and to believe it. Ok?" She nods slowly. She's hanging on his every word. He takes her hands in his and grips them gently. "You are worth the world. You're intelligent. You're beautiful. You're strong. You're so strong, Blair. You're witty. You're intense. You're independent. You're adorable. You have-you have such a passionate and loving heart. Please don't let any guy or person, place, or thing, I don't care, take these amazing things, and all of the other infuriating and annoying and perfect things about you away from you. Do you promise?" She's been nodding along to everything he's been saying. It's involuntary. But it's like she's been starving, famished and he just filled her up. He lets go of her hands so he can hold her head steady. "Say it. Promise me."

"I promise. I do. I really do." He slowly leans forward until his lips chastely meet hers. Oh. As he pulls back her eyes flutter open and meet his. She's tempted to surge forward and capture his lips, but she knows that's not what that kiss was about. It was about friendship and support and healing. He rests his forehead against hers for a perfect moment before he wraps her up again. He places a kiss on her cheek and then whispers into her hair. "I won't let them either, Blair. I promise. I promise too." It seemed so personal that she's not even sure she was meant to hear it. Somehow he's wrapping his arms around her even tighter. She can't help but feel that he's taking her in. Every good, bad, and ugly part. How does he exist?

After he's held her for a few minutes and she's stopped crying, a thought occurs to her. "You know, Chuck was right." She pulls back slightly to look at his questioning eyes. "You're not a part of that world. You can't be. You're too good for it, Dan." He moves his arms from around her and rests his hands in his lap as he looks away from her. She's unwittingly broken the spell. Note to self, do not compliment him anymore. She thought she was the masochistic one in this duo.

"I appreciate the sentiment, I really do, but, honestly, can we leave behind all of this too good, not good enough, not a part of and all of the other superflous nonsense you all spew? It has no place here. Not with you and me. Besides, none of us are any better or worse than the other. It's all a matter of choice and maturity." He smiles at her and gives her hand a squeeze as he gets up to look through his movies.

"I can leave all of that behind. I think I already have." Oh, that comes out with a little more weight than she intended. He starts to turn but seems to think better of it. They pause in that long, heavy silence again. Time for some deflection. "Who knew such wisdom existed in Brooklyn, anyway?" She playfully asks as she settles back against the sofa, making herself comfortable. Her emotions seem to have stabilized.

"I'm sure it's a fluke." He turns back to give her a crooked smile and a wink. "Hey, you're staying for a movie, right? I kind of assumed..." His statement is left unfinished as he points to the movies.

"Actually, would you mind if we didn't watch a movie tonight?" She just wants to be with him. She doesn't want an excuse hanging in the air and she doesn't want anything else going on. Just Dan and Blair. Just because.

"Oh-I-Right, you probably need to get back home." She's sure she's imagining it but he seems thrown off. Disappointed, even.

"No! No, I want to stay but I just-I was just thinking that maybe we could not watch a movie tonight." Good Lord. She did not steal some tie that was so obviously not Dan's just to have an emotional melt down and traipse back home. He is always ruining her schemes! "Maybe we could just hang out. Without a movie or art or whatever. Just you and me?" She hears herself speaking more softly as she poses her question. She can't stop her eyes from looking down at her hands. Vulnerability has never been her strong suit.

"Oh! Oh, right. Ok. Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'd really like that." She can hear the smile in his voice and decides it's safe to raise her eyes again. It's a strange and intoxicating feeling to have her vulnerability received and handled with care and reciprocity. Then Dan is crossing the room to take his place beside her on the sofa. "So, do you want to talk or eat or-I don't know, tea...do you want more tea?" She can't help the goofy grin and eye roll that his awkward tendencies evoke.

"You are just determined to make this weird, aren't you, Humphrey?" She asks with feigned resignation. "I haven't even touched the first cup anyway."

"I just feel like you should be entertained. At all times." He says as he moves his arm to the back of the couch and rests his head against his hand. He gives her a half smile that almost takes her breath away. "Honestly, your wish is my command right now. So, whatever you want, you can have. Anything."

Ohhhh, boy. If only he knew how dangerous that comment was. She swallows hard and hopes he doesn't see the desire that must have clouded her eyes. She laughs it all off.

"I don't always have to be entertained, you know. I can just be. I think." She starts edging closer to him until she's almost worked her way back into his arms. "Let's just sit and be quiet. Friends can do that, right?" She's put alot out there tonight and she doesn't want to spook him.

"Uh, friends, yeah. Friends can just sit and be quiet. Absolutely." He seems uneasy about something. Maybe she's pushing too much, but he's bending to her will.

"You're rambling, Humphrey," she says as she rolls her eyes dramatically. "Are you even capable of being quiet?" She narrows her eyes as she waits for his answer.

"Yes. I am absolutely, probably capable of being quiet. I think definitely." She smiles at his certain uncertainty.

"Good." Oh, what the hell. He's so adorable and she just wants to be near him. She slides closer to him so that she closes any distance between their bodies and rests her head against his chest. She thinks she hears his breath hitch as she winds one arm around his back and lets the other come to rest on his stomach. Hey, he said anything! And she thinks it's important that they start adding to the friendship. He needs to get used to her. She could have gone Jenna Jameson on him. He should be grateful.

"Good." He returns as he wraps his arms around her and leans back against the sofa. She could really get used to Dan Humphrey wrapping his arms around her. He's lightly running one of his hands through her hair. She can't help feeling like she did go home after all.

She wakes up in his arms later that night. It's dark. He must have turned off the lamp at some point. She hadn't even noticed. She's never been here in the dark. She should feel disoriented, but she doesn't. Instead she feels a peace and contentment that she's never felt before. She wants to stay like this for as long as possible. She briefly lets her mind wander to Serena. Oh, damnit. That's the only giant, orange elephant she can see. Tomorrow. She'll worry about that tomorrow. Right now, she's exactly where she should be so she decides to let it be, for now. She carefully snuggles even closer to him and lets the rise and fall of his chest lull her back to sleep. As she drifts off again, she wonders why nobody ever tells you how wonderful safety feels.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hiiii, Dairlings! Thank you for the love! I appreciate it all so much! This chapter was a surprise to me. I set out to write the chapter one way and this happened lol You'll see what I intended for Chapter 5 in Chapter 6, which will be up much sooner than this one was! I hope you all enjoy this, though!**

**20thcenturygirl: I actually love Cher/Josh. I love everything about Clueless and Emma. I've always thought Dan and Blair have a lot of Cher/Josh and Knightley/Emma in them. Or they could, at least. The potential was there. I think we definitely saw that in s4. Anyway, I'm not surprised if all of that influenced my writing haha I think when Blair is lighthearted Dan and Blair just sort of automatically stroll down that path. Actually, Emma will be relevant even more down the line. **

Blair opens her eyes. Her world is still all dreamy and hazy. A slow smile spreads to her lips as she remembers where she is, more accurately, who she's with. Wait a minute. Her mind finally catches up to her body. She's alone. She bolts upright in panic. Perhaps a little too quickly as she's launched herself onto the floor. Then she hears it.

"What the hell, Blair?" It's Eric. Eric? He's laughing and pointing. "Since when do you fall off of sofas?

She rolls her eyes. What is he even doing here? "I was half asleep, Eric. Grow up." She snaps at him and shoots him a glare. "What are you doing here anyway? And where's..." Her question is simultaneously cut off and answered as Dan comes rushing out of the bathroom. Oh boy. He's got a towel around his waist and his body is still wet. His curls are all wet and untamed. He hasn't shaved yet either so he has the perfect amount of stubble. Whoa, she likes stubble? Huh. She is staring and she does not care. This is too much. Suddenly, Eric clears his throat and Blair looks over at him to see that he's busted her. He has the look of realization in his eyes. Shit. Blair furrows her brows at him when Dan interrupts their wordless conversation.

"No, no, no. No. Blair-Was that-Was that boom you?!" His eyes are wide and amused as he takes in the scene more fully. "Please tell me you didn't just fall off the couch and I missed it."

"Uh, you missed it alright." Eric says in a suggestive tone. Crap. Blair shoots him a death glare.

"Oh. You know what? You two are despicable. Here I am, a lady, on the floor and not one of you is making any kind of attempt to assist me. I could have seriously injured myself and you just think it's so funny." She attempts to smooth her hair and figure out how best to get up. "And, for God's sake, it wasn't a 'boom,' Humphrey!" Suddenly, Dan's hand is outstretched in front of her and she can see he's trying to hold in his laughter.

"You're right. You're right." He's doing a terrible job at holding in his laughter. She frowns at him and swats his hand away. This only makes him laugh more. "I'm sorry." He bites his bottom lip as he puts his hand out in front of her again and looks into her eyes. "Seriously, are you ok?" Oh, he's very close. With only a towel tied loosely, very loosely, around his waist. He's still dripping. Her mind starts to wander. She imagines wiping away those drops. Kissing them away. Licking them away. "Blair? You're freaking me out. Are you ok?" Oh, shit. She shakes her head.

"Yes. No thanks to you two." She pushes his hand away again and starts to get up. Her tights and skirt are really not helping. She's almost up when she stumbles and starts to tip over. Dan's arm firmly wraps around her waist inadvertantly pulling her body to his. She swallows hard and tries not to think about how close she is to his naked, hot, wet, did she mention hot, body. She tries not to meet his eyes.

"Hey, easy, Waldorf. I've got you." She finally meets his gaze as his arm tightens around her bringing her that much closer. What is he doing? She is r-e-a-d-y to pounce. His other hand moves to smooth her hair. "It's ok to let people help you, Blair." He says the words so softly. Like he gets it. Oh, dear. She's involuntarily inching closer. Her mouth has parted slightly. That was voluntary. She still can't believe he's real. God. He's got the tiniest, most adoring smile on his face. What is he doing?! She's just going to go for it. She faintly registers a light knock. She doesn't care. She can't care about anything other than Dan's mouth right now.

"Eric! Hey! I didn't know you'd be here." Serena's voice bounces into the room. Ok. Well that she does care about. Oh, seriously?! Dan's not loosening his hold, though.

"Serena! Hey, uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you privately. Out-outside. In the hallway." Blair makes a mental note to send Eric some kind of present. She actually forgot he was here. What a pervert. Dan's still got his arm around her and she's so close. So close to everything. One inch and everything is hers. Or everything is lost.

She closes her mouth and moves away. She doesn't know when she became so risk avoidant. She lowers her head and smooths her skirt. She's been in this outfit for too long she thinks absently. When she looks back up she finds Dan staring at her like she's a puzzle.

"Th-thank you." She gives him a faint smile and looks away.

"Are you ok?" He asks as he reaches out to rub her arm.

"Yeah, yeah." She waves him off. "I'm fine. You know me. All theatrics. Besides, you shouldn't be worrying about me with your princess here to see you." She says with not an ounce of conviction.

He furrows his brow. "Oh. Yeah. She called this morning and asked if we could do breakfast-" He starts to explain. Oh, no.

"And you don't have anything else going on, so why not? No need to explain, Humphrey. I was planning on getting out of your hair anyway." She smiles sweetly as she moves farther away. She can't deal with this rollercoaster for much longer. One second she's about to kiss him and the next she's about to strangle him.

He takes a step closer. "No. I, Blair-I didn't. I didn't say that. I was-" He is not going to give her the pity talk right now. Nope.

"Brooklyn's starting to wear on me. I'm going to use the restroom and I'll make myself scarce." She starts to walk in that direction when she hears him sigh deeply. She turns around to see he's running a hand through his hair. She knows he's not trying to hurt her, probably doesn't even know he is, but it still hurts. They lock eyes for a moment. "I just wanted to know if I should exit via fire escape or what?"

He tilts his head to the side and widens his eyes. "Ok, now you're just being ridiculous. You're the only one forcing yourself to leave. You would never use the fire escape anyway." She would if it meant getting out of here faster! Maybe. Probably. Probably not even if the place was actually on fire.

"Well, do you really want to have the awkward conversation with Serena about why I'm here. In yesterday's clothes?" She gestures down her body.

"I don't care! You're the one who's always going on about plausible deniability and exit strategies. I don't care! I don't care if Serena knows we're friends. I don't care if Serena knows you stayed over. I don't care if-" He cuts himself off and looks away. "Look, the point is, Serena, and whoever else, for that matter, doesn't need to know the details of last night. That was personal. Between us. Between friends." He says the last comment like he's looking for clarification.

"Between friends." She echoes. She lets out a quiet, bitter laugh. "You say you don't care, but you do. It's Serena. How could you not?" She hesitantly meets his eyes. He shakes his head and takes a step towards her. He opens his mouth to respond but she doesn't let him. "I'll wait in the restroom. Just slam the door or something when you leave." She heads towards the bathroom again. She stops to look at him one more time. "And, by the way, don't think for one second that I wouldn't use that fire escape just to prove you wrong." She starts moving again. She can practically feel his eye roll. Delicious.

"Blair-" Can't he just leave well enough alone?!

"Don't worry, Humphrey! I'll lock up when I leave. God forbid some lumberjack wanders in and steals all of your plaid." She closes the bathroom door before he can reply.

She'd barely made it into the bathroom before she hears Serena and Eric coming back in.

"Eric, honestly, the next time you want to have a conversation about that I really think it should be with a medical professional." Blair's going to need to get him a very big present. "Dan, did you change your mind? Do you want to come to breakfast?" Change his mind? Oh. She actually cringes. Maybe she should stop bulldozing people and actually start communicating. Oh, no. She leans against the door.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm coming right now." She hears Dan shuffle out of his room. She hears his footsteps hesitate by the bathroom. "Yeah, let's go." She closes her eyes as she hears him walk away. What is she doing?

"Uh, Eric, why are you lounging over there? Shouldn't you leave with us?" Serena asks amusedly. Oh, great. Eric clearly wants to finish that wordless conversation from earlier.

"Yes. Eric, let's go." Dan says a little forcefully. Interesting. Why does Dan care if Eric stays behind?

"I really think someone should clean up the mess, Dan. Don't you?" Oh my God. Scatch the present. Scratch every present ever.

"Uh. Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, don't clean it up too well, Eric. It is my mess. Leave some of it for me, hmmm?"

"Oh, of course. Though, someone needs to clean it all up pretty soon. You can't let it sit for too long."

"It's complicated and involves a lot of work. But I am working on it. Ok, Eric?"

"Ok, Dan."

Serena must be so confused. Wait. Blair is so confused. Is she the mess in this metaphor? Why does she need to be cleaned up? Is there an actual mess? Is something or someone else the mess? What is this morning?!

"Ooook, boys. I have no idea what's going on and I'm not sure I want to." Serena says with a giggle. "Let's go eat, Dan. I'm starving. I like that you didn't shave, by the way. Adds to the whole writer appeal." Damn that stubble. She hears Dan let out an awkward laugh.

"Yeah, I just didn't-" The door slams. Louder than necessary.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello! Thank you for the comments and faves and follows! You guys are the best! :) Anyway, this was a fun chapter for me to write & I hope it's fun for you guys to read!**

Blair emerges from the bathroom slowly to find Eric sitting on the sofa. His feet are propped up and he has the cockiest grin on his face. Fantastic.

She clears her throat. "Well, Eric, it has been lovely...visiting and, truly, we must do this more often, but I really have be going." She's heading for the door when she hears Eric laughing. Brat. It's going to take more than laughter to stop her, though. Apparently Eric knows that too. Out of the corner of her eye she sees him getting up. She picks up her pace. So does he. She's almost sprinting now. Then Eric throws himself in front of the door.

"I don't think so, Blair. We need to talk about a few things, don't ya think?" He narrows his eyes at her.

"Oh, yes. Where are my manners?" She asks pleasantly. "Eric, you are such a dear for distracting Serena so I could hide. It would have been awkward trying to explain why I was here in yesterday's clothes. She probably would have jumped to the wrong conclusion. Anyway, look at me rambling! Humphrey's effect no doubt. I should really get going." She goes to move around him but he grabs her shoulders and steers her into the living room. Damnit.

"Sit." He directs her to the chair by the sofa. "You're not going anywhere until you have that awkward conversation with me because I have jumped to what I suspect is more the right conclusion than the wrong one. Or I can call Serena and you can just explain it all to her. The choice is yours." He crosses his arms as he stands in front her.

"That is hardly a choice! I dare say Sophie had an easier decision to make." She huffs. She gets absolutely no respect anymore. She makes a mental note to work on that.

"Sophie? As in 'Sophie's Choice' Sophie?" He rolls his eyes when she nods her head in confirmation. "Blair, Sophie had to choose between her children."

"I know exactly what Sophie had to choose between. I stand by my statement." She smooths her hair and lifts her head a little higher. "I did not, however, know that you knew what Sophie had to choose between." She's taken aback by this bit of information.

"Yeah, well, Dan made me watch it." Ah, there it is. "Which now that we're talking about Dan and movies... He hasn't been making me watch his weird movies lately." He eyes her suspiciously. She accidentally looks away. She can't take his judgy eyes! "Ohhh. Oh God. There is a lot to talk about isn't there?" He mutters mostly to himself. "Ok. Dramatics aren't going to distract me or save you, so let's get to it." He takes a step back and waves his hand out in front of him. "The floor is yours."

"I would like to start by saying that you shouldn't be so dismissive of the movies Dan invites you to watch. You're very lucky you have a step-brother who cares about you enough to take you under his proverbial cinematic wing." She says with as little contempt as she can manage. Honestly, some of these people are borderline philistines.

"Alright, alright. You and Dan are smarter than everyone else and have amazing taste in movies...blah, blah, blah." Eric waves his hand dismissively. "Give me the good stuff, Blair."

"I would also like to point out that anything discussed here today is discussed under extreme duress and therefore-" She's mid finger point when she's rudely cut off.

"Blaiiiiiiiiiir." Eric throws his head back dramatically.

"Fine. Fine." She narrows her eyes at him and frowns. "You win. Let me just make my last point: bullying is a real problem in our society, you know. Frankly, I am shocked and appalled that you would take part in it." She tosses her hair over her shoulder. "Now, what would you like to know?"

"I would like to know why you're here." Eric says straightforwardly. Huh. She wasn't expecting direct questions.

An annoyed groan escapes her lips. "Why are _you_ here?!" She stomps her foot. He is getting too close to her secret.

"Yeahhhh, I like my question better. I think your answer's going to be a lot more interesting than mine." He is studying her face. She really hopes he didn't somehow become an expert in micro expressions.

"We were watching a movie and I fell asleep. That's all. Gosh, you really busted us." She is certainly not going to spill the details of last night to Eric. Dan's right. It's between them. It's too private and important to just go around sharing.

"Oh, you watched a movie? That's funny because Dan said you guys were listening to records while debating Monk versus Coltrane and fell asleep. Why are you guys lying?" Eric narrows his eyes. Oh, all of these questions!

"I-We. We're not lying. We did both. I just skipped over the musical part of the night. Frankly, I assumed you wouldn't know who Monk and Coltrane were so I thought I'd skip the awkward cultural schooling portion of the program. I didn't know Dan had already started the daunting task." Deny, deny, deny. Insult, insult, insult. Let's leave this all behind so Blair can leave with a shred of her dignity. Please.

"No. I don't think so." Damnit! "Blair, I saw you staring, excuse me, _drooling_ when Dan came out of the bathroom. And when he stopped you from falling you were practically panting in his arms. Which brings me to my next point: you are being uncharacteristically clumsy and careless. Something's going on. Are you-I can't believe these words are about to come out of my mouth-" Sound the alarm. Eric is actually about to bust her. No. No, no, no. No.

"No!" She stands up and covers his mouth with her hand and looks at him with large, pleading eyes. "Don't say it. Don't ask it. Don't think it. Eric, forget everything you think you saw or think you've put together." He gingerly removes her hand from his mouth.

"Blair. Are you and Dan-Do you and Dan have feelings for eachother? Are you dating?" She cringes. This is so embarrassing. She is going to have to tell Eric about her one-sided infatuation. And then he'll tell Serena. Serena will tell Dan. Gossip Girl will find out and she will be laughed out of Manhattan, Brooklyn, New York, the planet.

"No. Nope." She laughs bitterly. "We are not dating. _We_ do not have feelings for eachother."

"Do _you_ have feelings for him?" He asks softly.

"Eric. Come on." One last shot. "I mean yeah he-he smells shockingly good for someone from Brooklyn. And he's the only person I know who's even close to my intellectual equal. No offense. His curls are adorable. Yeah, his bone structure has only gotten more defined. I mean how is _that_ even possible? Sure, he's always there for me. Even when I don't want him to be or expect him to be. There's his mouth. He has really, really soft lips. Good lips." Oops. Probably should have left his mouth out of it. "But-But-Uh. Yeah. No feelings here." She used to be so good at lying and deflecting. This is pathetic.

"You know about his lips? Interesting." Eric says with less surprise than Blair anticipated. Huh. "Blair, you can be honest. I won't betray your confidence." She looks him in the eye. He might actually be useful in this. He is Dan's stepbrother. They are close. Hmmm. "Blair?" Though his persistence is rather annoying! Perhaps he could be trained out of that. Or trained to redirect it. He is staring her down.

"Yes! Yes! Ok?" She can't take it anymore. "I-I have a crush on Dan. I have feelings for Dan."

"Oh my God..." Eric says breathlessly as he sits on the sofa.

"Good grief." She rolls her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. There's no need. It's not a big deal."

"What?!" Eric's eyes are large and roaming around the room. When he finally looks back at her he has a knowing smirk on his face. "It's a big deal. Queen B has a crush on Lonely Boy. Blair Waldorf has feelings for Dan Humphrey. What could be a bigger deal than that?"

"Everything. Nothing." She throws her hands up in defeat. "I don't know."

"Have you told him?" Eric softens as he poses his question.

"Yes!" Blair says confidently. Eric narrows his eyes. "I-I've tried. In my own way." Less confidently.

"Ohhh. Oh no. That could mean so many things. What does that mean, Blair?" He's moving closer to the edge of the couch.

"Honestly, Eric. This isn't rocket science." She says in exasperation. "What do you think it means?"

"With you, trust me, everything is rocket science." He says as he runs a weary hand through his hair.

"Schemes! I schemed, ok?!" Blair can't take this anymore. She lets out a quiet growl.

"Oh, Blair! Blair, you didn't." He's shaking his head at her. He is actually shaking his head. At her, Blair Waldorf. As if he can admonish her. And for something as natural as scheming!

"Oh, I did! You know what else? I regret nothing!" She says triumphantly. "Well, except that Dan's been slow on the uptake. Let me amend that, actually. Dan hasn't even started the uptake." She can't keep the disappointment out of her voice. "I mean I've tried everything! Fake suitors, trapped in elevators, interning at the same place...He's just not getting it."

"Maybe it's because he's Dan Humphrey!" Eric says as if it's so obvious. "He doesn't respond to manipulation. I'm positive he has no idea you've been trying to get his attention. I just can't believe you thought manipulating him was your best option..." He trails off in disbelief.

"Hey, you stop right there, mister. Manipulation is quite an accusation!" Blair says indignantly. "They were a handful of harmless schemes. I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Scheming at all is wrong, Blair. At least when it comes to Dan." He tries to tell her rationally. "You know he doesn't like controlling and playing people."

"That's not what this is!" Oh God. She's not trying to control him or play him. "I'm just trying to give him a gentle nudge in my direction. That's all. You know what? When you have to compete with those legs and all that hair then you can have an opinion on this but until then I don't want to hear it!" Oops. Why can't she control her mouth anymore?!

"'Those legs and all that hair?'" Eric repeats in confusion. "What does Serena have to do with this?"

"Are you kidding? She has everything to do with this. I think she's decided she wants him back." Blair says in defeat.

"You-you think Dan wants Serena back?" He seems almost amused. Hmph.

"I don't think it, I know it. She's Serena, his dream girl, his muse." She looks down at her hands. "How could he not?"

"Hey, Blair-" She doesn't let him finish his concilliatory speech.

"I mean where is he now? Any hint that Serena is going to throw him any kind of bone and there he goes...chasing right after her." She says with exasperation.

"Blair, I don't think-" Nope. She's not finished.

"I caught them, you know?" She looks at Eric. "Making out like a couple of teenagers in _my _elevator. So, yes, I think Dan wants Serena back."

"Blair, the whole thing with Serena was just a reaction to Dan feeling rejected. He...Ugh. I shouldn't be telling you this." Eric starts to worry his lip.

"Eric! Spill." She steps closer to him. What is he talking about? "I have shared my deepest, darkest secret with you. I think you have the upper hand here should revenge be necessary."

"You have a fascinating mind, you know that? Do you only think in terms of plots and revenge? Nevermind. I don't want to know." He waves off the thought as he continues pacing around the room.

"Eric." She practically growls. "My God. The point. Do you know how to get there? I swear you would kill a deer with a shovel."

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry. You are so wound up. I don't want to encourage you, because, again, I really think this is going to blow up in your face, but maybe you should step up this scheming for Dan thing. You need to get laid more than you know." He crosses his arms and takes in her appearance more fully. She runs a hand over her hair hesitantly. Sheesh. She knows she hasn't exactly been a peach lately and that she can't look too pulled together considering she's been in this outfit for over 24 hours, but that was harsh.

"Trust me. No one is more accutely aware than I am about the state of my sex life..." She shakes her head. "Oh! Why are we talking about this?! Why does Dan feel rejected? Speak. Now." She holds a hand out in front of her to usher him on.

"Blair, this is no way to speak to someone who has information you want-" He is stalling!

"So help me God, if the next words out of your mouth do not explain why Dan is coping horribly with feelings of rejection even though I have run no fewer than 7 schemes to make him fall for me, your sex life will become more tragic than mine." She makes a snipping motion.

"Well, Blair, none of those schemes have been successes so how would he know?" He seems to grasp finally that she wasn't kidding about the threat to his love life. "Calm down. Dan has a crush on a girl and he thinks that she doesn't feel the same. There. Happy now?" His statement hangs heavily in the air. She can't process it.

"Happy?! No. No, I'm anything but happy." She takes a seat and tries to grasp what Eric's telling her. "Dan has a crush? On another girl?" She sadly looks around the room in search of an answer.

"Dan has a crush, yes." Eric nods slowly.

"But who-who is she? It's not Serena?" She shakes her head; this doesn't make any sense. She thought for sure he was back in Serena's whirlwind. She saw with her own eyes that he was back in Serena's whirlwind!

"No. It's not Serena." He looks around the room. She can see he's thinking carefully about what he says. Slowly, thoughtfully he starts to speak. "She's an intern at the magazine too."

"She works with him? With me? With us? This is happening right under my nose and I missed it?!" She brings her fingers to her forehead. This is awful. "Ugh! I've been so distracted by my failing schemes that I haven't even noticed. I thought I was the only person he really associated with there. I can't believe this."

Blair feels the sofa shift as Eric sits down next to her. He puts an arm around her shoulder and huddles conspiratorally close. "I don't think this means you should give up, Blair. I think maybe it's time to drop the schemes and just try honesty. Tell him how you feel. It's the only way you can be sure that he knows and then he can make an informed decision. And you'll know that you really did everything you could."

"Is there a reason you are being especially dense today?" She shoots him a disdainful look as she pulls away from him. "Now is not the time to stop the schemes. Quite the opposite. I need to step it up. If Dan Humphrey has a crush then so does Blair Waldorf!"

"Yes, yes, you do, Blair. That's the whole point. God, you are really not taking this well." He shakes his head. "Are you having a breakdown? Should I call someone?"

"Eric, do try to keep up. I've no time for dullards." She stands up and starts pacing the floor. The details of her scheme are rapidly forming in her mind. "I need to get a _fake_ love interest!"

"So to get your real love interest you need a fake love interest?" Eric asks, not even trying to mask his confusion.

"Yes! Exactly." Oh, finally. He's proven very useful today. "There may be hope for you yet, young Van der Woodsen. The jealousy scheme is a classic. The classics are difficult to pull off as they so often become cliche. But that's what happens when novices attempt them. Given that I am an adept, veteran schemer I really think I can turn this into a trope."

"Cliches? Tropes? You and Dan might actually be soulmates." Blair rewards Eric with an appreciative grin. "But where do I start with the flaws of this plan?" That grin quickly turns into a scowl. "Oh, right. You just said that you've tried the fake suitor thing with Dan. It didn't work...obviously."

She gives him her best snarl. "No need to be rude. And that was in the abstract. This will be more...more corporal. I will find an actual, tangible suitor."

"Oh no. No! I really think involving Chuck in this is going to end in murder." Good grief. Scratch the usefulness. Surely, better help must exist in this life.

"I am not going to use Chuck. Contrary to your thoughts I am not crazy. Chuck has no place in my life anymore. Especially in the life I'm building with Dan." She says airily. Life with Dan. Hmmm. She likes the sound of that...Reading in the park until clouds interrupt their afternoon, holding hands as they make their way home, stealing kisses as the rain falls, they're in no hurry, peeling off their wet clothes once they're home and safe from the storm, lips barely separating, making love for the rest of the afternoon because it beats any movie they could ever watch or any record they could listen to or any book they could read...

"The life you're building with Dan?" Eric cruelly snaps her out of her dream. "Blair! He thinks you barely tolerate him as a friend, meanwhile you're picking out houses? I just...your logic is frightening." He sighs and moves the conversation forward. "Who are you going to use? Nate? That's a bad idea too. He can't keep a secret. Plus he and Dan are pretty close now. That might be awkward."

"Great balls of fire!" She pinches the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "If you would stop rambling for one second I could tell you. How much time have _you_ been spending around Dan?! Who knew rambling was contagious. Anyway, I have someone else in mind. Someone from outside of the Upper East Side."

"Outside of the Upper East Side? Who do we know-Dan? Blair are you going to use your real crush as your fake suitor to get said real crush? Are you going meta?" Eric's face looks as confused as Blair feels. What has she done to deserve this fate?

"What in the world are you even talking about?" She holds a hand up to stop him from answering. "It doesn't matter. You have been stripped of contributing privileges. Now, I know more than three men, Eric. I have the perfect plan. This scheme is going royal."

Blair could only giggle in delight over her brilliance and Eric's horrified face.

"Oh God." He groans as he put his head in his hands.

"Chin up, Eric. This is going to be the most epic scheme I have ever done and you get to be a part of it!" She claps her hands excitedly.

"Gee, thanks, but I'll pass. Have I mentioned that Dan is not going to like this whole scheming thing? He is the most straight forward person we know and you are going to bamboozle him with a king? A duke? A prince?" Eric looks at her in half shock and half horror. "Nevermind, I don't even want to know."

"Suit yourself. I need to get going. I have lots to do!" She smiles confidently and gathers her belongings. "Dan will appreciate and adore this. Trust me."

"Famous last words." Eric says as she opens the door to leave.

"Wait." She turns around to look at him. "May I ask you something, Eric?"

"Go for it." He gives her a small smile.

"Why-why are you telling me all of this? I mean, why aren't you helping Serena?" She tilts her head to the side.

He lets out a long sigh. "Serena's my sister and, obviously, I love her, but we both know how she is. I also care about Dan. A lot. And Serena may want Dan now, I honestly don't know if she does, but who knows how long that'll last? Something or someone else will come along and distract her." He lets out a small laugh. "Besides, I think Dan has a new dream girl. He wants something else." He says slowly. He's choosing his words carefully again. "Something new. Something challenging but rewarding. I think he wants someone he can start to build a life with. Someone who is as motivated and intelligent as he is. Someone to do all of that boring, weird stuff with him. Someone who will be good to him and who he will be good to."

"Do you-do you think I could be his new dream girl? That something? That someone?" She's felt it all along but to have someone else feel it too...would be so encouraging.

He takes a breath. "Yes. It's crazy, but I do. Or maybe it's not so crazy. I don't know, you two might actually be right for eachother." Blair feels instantly brighter. He moves away from the living room, closer to her. "The thing is, you better be absolutely sure before you continue this. No one else knows anything right now. Dan doesn't know anything right now so no harm, no foul. But, Blair, once you go there with him..." Eric looks at her pointedly. "Once you go there with him, you can't run back to Chuck. If Dan falls for you, if he wants you, you can't play with him. Because it'll be real for him. Very real. He doesn't play games. You-you just have to be sure."

She takes Eric's hand and smiles reassuringly. "I'm sure. I don't know that I've ever been more sure." Before she knows what she's doing she's thrown her arms around him. "And, don't worry. I care about him too, Eric. I wouldn't hurt him. I wouldn't."

"Yeah, well, I hope you mean that." Eric says as he pulls back from her. She can't blame him for being skeptical, but she knows how she feels and what's in her heart. _She's_ sure. That's the most important thing.

"I mean this is all assuming Dan will fall for me or want me even." She shrugs her shoulders dejectedly.

"Right, right." Eric gives a slight nod. "I wouldn't worry too much about that." He says on his way back into the living room. "I mean, if it's meant to be, it'll be, you know?"

"I know." She says sincerely, nervously.

"So you'll take it easy with the schemes? Maybe try honesty?" Eric asks hopefully.

"It's almost endearing that you're still so naive." Blair says bemusedly. "Eric, I have a new obstacle to take out. It is full scheme ahead!" She calls as she closes the door and heads out to enact her plans.

**A/N 2: I'm sorry there's no Dair here! Dair will be back next chapter and then it's going to be Dair, Dair, Dair. As I've said before, I'm generally following canon so the next chapter is going to be 4x19 with a Dair treatment. Well, I guess with a different Dair treatment might be more accurate. I'm working on it now and I'll have it ready soon! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello, hello! So, life for Dair fans has sucked for quite awhile, but never more than the past couple of weeks, huh? Goodness. I suppose that's why there's fic and vids and stunning art. Anyway this chapter only covers the first half of 4x19. It was getting so long and clunky. I thought this was a good stopping point for now. Chapter 8 (the rest of 4x19) will be up much sooner than this one. I apologize for the delay but the first part of this was a beast for some reason. It's getting harder and harder to keep these two apart! I might go rogue and flip my own script and put them together sooner than I intended haha In the meantime, I hope y'all enjoy! Oh and huge disclaimer that, obviously, alot of this is not mine and is directly lifted from the lovely Dair writers at GG. **

Blair can't decide. She has to strike the perfect balance between looking like she's trying to impress a prince while actually trying to impress a writer. From Brooklyn. She's sure there's something amusing about that. Especially considering that she's Blair Waldorf. But there's no time for humor!

"Miss Blair, you have not taken off that shoe since it arrived. You must rest your feet." Dorota says with concern. Rest?! Blair gasps in shock. And she's missed these shoes! This is bonding time.

"There's no time for rest! Didn't you read Louis' note? He has agreed-"

"By 'agreed' you mean he been blackmailed into?" Dorota gives her a knowing look. Damn, Dorota can always read her like a book.

"It's impolite to interrupt." Blair snaps. "As I was saying, Louis has _agreed_ to help with this scheme and we have no time to waste. He needs to start this today and we still haven't picked out the perfect dress!"

"I so confused. Why you need perfect dress for boy you no like?" Dorota questions. Blair rolls her eyes and continues positioning the dress she's holding over her body. She doesn't have time for this today!

"Because! I need Dan to think I'm trying to impress Louis!" All of these unnecesssary questions are driving Blair even crazier. She just wants to find a dress and get on with it. She needs help or, at the very least, more options. "Where's Serena?" Besides, Eric may think Dan and Serena are done but one can never be sure. She can't get distracted by a nobody only to allow more openings for Serena.

"At Van der Woodsens. Miss Serena been very good daughter since Ms. Lily get sentenced to house arrest." Oh, Lord. Now she has to hear Dorota's take on Saint Serena.

"Well, now she's going to be a very good friend because I'm going to raid her closet." Blair says as she piles all of the discarded items into Dorota's arms and heads for Serena's room.

"Miss Blair, I still not sure what plan is? Maybe if I knew what going on I could better assist in outfit process?" Dorota asks tentatively. Hmmm. She has been dying to tell someone the details of this scheme and since Eric hangs up as soon as she starts talking about it, Dorota it is!

"Well, ok." She starts with a smile. "So, you know Eric told me that Dan has a crush and it then occurred to me that I needed a cr-"

"Yes, yes. I know. Mister Dan have crush so Miss Blair need crush. Give me hot stuff." Dorota says with a spark in her eye. Did Dorota actually just cut her off? And then tell her to get to the point?

"Dorota, please don't interrupt me and then tell me to gloss over important details!" Blair says as she glares at her out of the corner of her eye. Hmmm. This black and cream dress has potential. She tosses it to the side. "As I was saying, Dan has a crush and it made me feel terrible and jealous ergo if I have a crush then maybe he'll feel terrible and jealous and realize that he wants me. It occurred to me that I needed to try the fake suitor scheme again. Only more royal. So-"

"Right." Blair's eyes go wide. Is Dorota really interrupting her again? "I know all this. Tell me details of scheme!" Dorota demands. There's another issue. Since when does Dorota demand things?

"I don't know if you think I've gone soft since falling for someone from Brooklyn, but this interrupting and demanding business will not be tolerated." Blair says with a huff. Dorota shrugs her shoulders guiltily. "_So_, I contacted Louis and we made an arragement that is mutually beneficial. He helps me get Dan and I don't reveal his secrets. The issue then became how to get Dan involved. It turns out Louis has a royal aide, Lucien, who is also a dear friend. It's Lucien's responsibility to ensure that Louis isn't doing anything to tarnish the family name and to keep bad press at bay so Louis told him what I know and he's agreed to help as well. Lucien has posed as a magazine editor and 'hired' Dan to write an expose on Louis. So Dan will be following Louis and, unbeknownst to him at this time, me! Louis and I will be going to Veselka to make Dan think we're trying to lay low because, let's be honest, I would never get that near to NYU again willingly. Dan will already be at Veselka in pursuit of Louis where I will then tell him to leave because Louis and I must go undetected. Then I'll call Dan, having brilliantly put two and two together, as usual, and act surprised and horrified that he was writing such a piece and reveal to him that he wasn't hired by a magazine at all, but Lucien. I'll then insist that he makes it up to me by helping to throw Lucien off of my and Louis' trail. We'll stage a kiss at the Pink Party for Lucien to see or not see. It won't matter by that point because Dan will be longing for me and then he'll finally have me in his arms." Blair finishes wistfully. "Oh! It's just brilliant! Right, Dorota?" Nothing. She looks over at Dorota who looks as if she's trying to work out String Theory. "Dorota?"

"Miss Blair, this is crazy and detailed scheme. Mister Dan not like that you trick him with job and that you make him think he did something bad to you and prince." Dorota warns.

Blair waves off her misgivings. "We'll be together when I reveal all of my work and he won't care. It's all for the greater good. Trust me. I know what I'm doing. Well, at least with the scheme. Outfit wise is another story. Let's focus." Blair orders.

Thirty minutes later and Blair is closer to perfection. She's still eyeing some pieces though.

"This say sexy and smart." Dorota says as she tantalizingly waves what is either a skirt or some kind of head wrap. Oh my Lord. She looks so proud too.

"No, it says 'let's skip dinner and make a sex tape.'" Ugh. Blair loves Serena, but she really questions her level of taste. It's all designer too. Is Chanel making some kind of club line exclusively for Serena? "Keep looking." She tosses another item into the reject pile when her phone rings. Oh! It's Louis.

"Hello." She answers casually.

"Bonjour, Blair. It's Louis. Did you get the package I sent you?" Why does he sound pleasant and flirty?

"Of course, I did. Although, I must say I was a bit surprised. I thought I made it clear that this wasn't an actual romantic visit. Well, not for us, anyway." Dorota is still trying to offer her some of Serena's less tasteful selections. She shoos her away. "Not to mention, if you had no intention of ever trying to find me you might have sent that shoe back a little sooner. I've missed it." She says forlornly. She can't believe she left such a precious shoe with him.

"You've made the terms of this visit perfectly clear, Blair." He says suggestively. What? "The blackmail was unnecessary. You could have simply asked me to come visit. And I couldn't part with the shoe until I knew I'd see you again. It was a reminder of you." Oh. No. She quickly makes her way to her bedroom and closes the door.

"Louis! I don't mean to be disrespectful to the the crown, but what kind of education have you received in Europe? I've made it abundantly clear that I have my sights set on someone else. That's why you're here. You're the perfect way to make him jealous. You're a prince! That's all this is." She hisses into the phone. "That is why I _blackmailed_ you!"

"Whatever you say." He says dismissively. Oh, this is unbelievable. Now she's going to have to try to keep him in line while managing this scheme. "Where are we meeting?"

"Listen, you need to not ruin this for me. I have no qualms about going public with your little quirk. Do not think for one second that I am an amateur that blackmails without solid evidence and without multiple copies of said solid evidence!" She's not letting him get in her way.

"Blair." Louis chuckles into the phone. "I'm not going to ruin anything. I didn't come here because you blackmailed me. It's adorable that you think my family's legal team couldn't stop you though." Ha! Debatable. "Besides, with Prince Harry on the loose, no one would bat an eye over a foot fetish." Oh! Somehow she always knew Prince Harry would be her downfall. She's panicking. He can't back out. He can't.

"Louis, I-"

"Let me finish. I am here to help you because I like you not because you've blackmailed me." Her jaw is actually hanging open. "You amuse me. I know you're interested in someone else, but maybe if that doesn't work out, you'll come around to me." Oh. Ok.

"O-Ok." She starts hesitantly. "I appreciate all of that. And I appreciate your being here whatever the reason. In the interest of full disclosure, I do want to state, upfront, that I'm serious about Dan. This failing is not an option." She says with breezy confidence. "Now, if you're still game, I'll text you the address of where we're meeting."

She hears her minions trampling into Serena's room just as she finishes texting Louis the directions to Veselka. She's greeted with a barage of questions when she enters Serena's room.

"What's with the emergency text? We're going to be late to class." Penelope asks.

"Oh, I'm not making it to class today. Which is why you'll be taking notes for me." Blair dictates genially.

"But it's nearly finals. What's more important than school?" Jessica asserts more than asks.

"Miss Blair has a date with-" Blair throws her hand up to silence Dorota.

"Actually, I'd rather not say who just yet." Dorota almost blew this scheme up before it even started. Penelope's interested face lets her know she may have cut in a little over dramatically there. She begins adjusting her hair in what she hopes in a nonchalant manner. "I'm taking a page from Gwyneth and Chris. The relationship means too much to me to be dissected by the masses." She recovers quickly. There's some kind of truth in that. She needs to restore the power balance here. She looks at Jessica. "Hand me that MCL cuff... I gave you for Christmas." She gestures for her to hand it over. Jessica reluctantly takes it off and holds it in front of Blair. How unappreciative. Blair snatches it out of her hand and puts it on. Well, not ideal, but this a power move more than a fashion move. She clears her throat. "Ohh, perfect." She says as she brushes past them and collects her purse from Dorota and grabs her plaid coat. Yes, that's right. A plaid coat. She absently wonders if Dan has noticed her recent proclivity for plaid outerwear. Maybe she'll ask him someday.

She is so excited for this scheme as she walks into Veselka. It's too perfect to fail. She immediately spots Dan trying to sit inconspicuously at the counter. Showtime. She quickly replaces her smile with a frown.

"Humphrey! You have to leave." Blair approaches him with mock horror. He looks taken aback at the sight of her. Or maybe scared. Maybe she should have approached with a tad less vigor. "No one can see me here. And although you fall under that moniker, I still need you to go."

"Me? What are you doing here? Deep in NYU territory?" He seems confused. So confused. Perfect! "If you developed a passion for Ukranian food then I think we did spend too much time together." Oh, Humphrey. Never.

"Actually, I'm on a date. You can handle that right?" She says snarkily. Just planting some seeds here.

"We're just friends." He gives her a confused look. Auuugghhh. _Friends_. She really hates that word. "Date away." Oh! 'Date away.' Lovely.

"Ok." She snaps. That's enough of this. Time to turn the tables. "You didn't see me here." She hears him utter a confused 'ok' as she walks toward Louis.

"Hi, Louis." She greets him with a friendly kiss. "Is he watching?" Blair asks quietly as Louis gets her chair.

"Uh, well, he was." Louis says tentatively.

"Was?" Blair snaps her head up to see Dan fleeing the restaurant. Oh. Either her plan is working faster than even she anticipated or he feels guilty about following Louis. Knowing Dan it's the latter. No matter. He saw everything he needed to see. "Alright then our work here is done. I'll call you later with details for the Pink Party."

"You're leaving? We just got here." Louis almost knocks his chair over in his haste to question her.

Blair lets out an annoyed sigh and rolls her eyes. "Louis, we were only here so Dan could see us. Besides, the only person I eat here for or with is Dan. So, yes, I'm leaving." She smiles as she heads for the exit.

She waits a couple of hours before she calls Dan. He picks up on the first ring. She feels a rush when she hears his voice. It's just so familiar and warm and interested. Every time he answers it's the same. It's amazing what a simple "hey" can do to a girl.

"Meet me at Paul Smith in half an hour. You know why and you should be ashamed of yourself." She gets it all out before he can interrupt her. She is too good at this.

"How did you find out?" He seems more curious than guilty. Really. He should know by now that no one gets anything past her. Although in this case she did set it all up so there was nothing for her to find out but still. And how she found out is not the point! He should be more worried about how he's going atone for his sins...that she created.

"I always find out. Just be there!" She orders and hangs up the phone.

She's only been at Paul Smith a few minutes when she sees Dan walk in. She smiles to herself as she watches him search the store for her. It's not often she gets to observe him unnoticed so she accepts the moment. He's such a mix of confidence and curiosity and uncertainty. She loves how out of place he seems here. It's refreshing. After a few minutes she decides to put him out of his misery. And she's missed him and she just wants to interact with him again.

"Humphrey." She taps him on the shoulder. He whirls around and gives her a brief smile. He feels bad. Now she feels bad. Greater good, Blair, greater good.

"Thank God you found me. I thought I would be swallowed in a sea of metrosexual, business casual menswear." He says wearily. She gives him a pointed look.

"It is that precise attitude towards men's fashion that made it so easy for me to spot you. You stick out like a poorly dressed sore thumb." She's rewarded with a soft chuckle.

"I can only conclude that, for my safety, I should continue to dress poorly. I'm so glad we finally agree." She scrunches her face and shakes her head at him. He mirrors the action. She gives him a small smile before turning and heading towards the ties. He follows. He knows when to let her lead.

"Blair, I swear I had no idea." Ah, she was wondering when he would bring that up. "Some magazine editor called me out of the blue to write an article on your prince and-and I backed out the minute I knew he was with you." He says it so sincerely that she feels bad again. Why is he always so nice? It makes it difficult to scheme. She just has to remember that this is for him too.

"Oh, you should have been suspicious the minute someone wanted to pay you for your writing." Oh, that may have been harsh. He can't suspect her, though! She's relieved when she hears another soft chuckle behind her. She loves that he rolls with her punches. Especially at a time like this. She'll make it up to him later. "That wasn't an editor. It was one of Louis' royal handlers and your desperate need for literary validation cost me the greatest date of my life."

"Well, I'm sorry." She stops perusing the ties to turn and look at him.

"I know you are." Actually, he really didn't sound that sorry, but this is no time for semantics. "And that is why I'm giving you the opportunity to make this right. Louis told his handler, Lucien, that he came to New York for a charity event tonight," Blair holds one of the ties she's picked out for him up to his collar. Mmmm. Maybe. She watches him watch her experimenting with the ties as she speaks. "Lucien doesn't believe him so when he comes to pick Louis up from the party to take him to the airport we are going to convince him that Louis is a casual summer acquaintance and that you and I are madly in love." She says wistfully. It's only a matter of time really.

Dan eyes her suspiciously. "Why would he believe that?" Oh. Like it's really that out of the ordinary.

"We are going to stage a private intimate moment for Lucien to stumble upon and when he realizes that Louis was telling the truth and he has nothing to worry about, he'll go back to Paris and leave Louis behind...for me." She concludes happily. She turns to head for the register as she's also found the perfect tie for him.

"No way." He says incredulously. She knew he'd react this way. Dan is nothing if not righteous.

"I thought you were my friend." Her least favorite word. She turns to give him a quick pout.

"I am. Which is why I'm going to point out to you what a bad idea this is." He says as he follows her. She stops to face him. "For starters, Serena's going to be at this party." Yes. She also knew that'd be argument #1. So predictable.

"She's staying with Lily tonight." Blair replies with a smile. At least he isn't aware of Serena's schedule.

"Fine. Then everyone else in the world will be at this party. We'd have to tell Serena about the plan." He says as if there's no other way. If he's not interested in Serena then why is he so hell bent on telling her every detail of his life?! Sheesh.

"Absolutely not." Serena is not a part of this plan! It's not time to tell her anything yet. "You and I faking a kiss...Do you really want to have that conversation with Serena?"

"Can't be half as painful as this one." He says as if he's actually uncomfortable. She sighs in annoyance. How rude. Serena can't know because a. she doesn't want her to and b. Serena might as well be Gossip Girl, or Nate, for the way she spreads news and she would undoubtedly tell Chuck who would undoubtedly tell Serena about the other not fake kiss. Then there would be an Upper East Side Inquisition. That is one headache she doesn't need right now. And who knows what Chuck might do period. He's a loose cannon.

"Think ahead, Humphrey. What if Serena tells Chuck? Who, though up to now quiet about our misbegotten make out, decides to speak up in the face of this latest insult." God, does he really want Chuck spilling everything to Serena? Or lurking around?

"When you bring Chuck into it you're far more convincing." There's that brain she so adores. "Ok. Fine." She can't hide her smile. In a few short hours she'll be making out with Humphrey and then who knows what. Finally. "You're paying for the tie." Oh, gladly. She whirls around to head to the register.

Dan holds the door for her as they step out of the store. "So, what's the plan from here, Waldorf?"

"You take your tie and go turn into Dapper Dan. Meet me at my house in two hours for a final strategizing session." Lies. She'll use any excuse to be alone with him. "Also I need to make sure that you're fit for public consumption. Lucien won't be convinced if I'm kissing Writer Dan." That is not a lie. He once turned up to one of Lily's parties with a crooked knot in his tie. It was horrible.

He rolls his eyes and heads in the opposite direction. She can barely hear him muttering something about Dapper Dan and Writer Dan.

She smiles to herself and calls after him, "Two hours, Humphrey!"

He waves her off without turning around. "Two hours."

She hasn't even finished getting dressed when there's a soft knock on her bedroom door almost exactly two hours later. She's used to dealing with Chuck's timetable. He would always take more than the allotted time to get ready. And then finally show up in an ensemble that would force her to change into something equally grandiose. She sighs in relief. She will not miss her days of trying to outdress Chuck Bass.

"Who is it?" She calls sweetly. Why won't this dress zip?

"Really, Blair?" Dan calls out in annoyance. "Have you managed to find more than one sap who is willing to help you get a prince?" Well, actually. She did manage to also find a prince who is willing to help her get a sap. So...

"Humphrey, I do not like that sullen attitude. And if you roll your eyes one more time, I'll send you into this scheme blind." She lets out a frustrated huff.

"The horror." He says mockingly. She snarls at the door while she's still fighting with her rebellious zipper. "And if you do your signature snarl one more time, I'll send you into this scheme alone." Hmph. "Seriously, are you going to grace me with your presence anytime soon? I really just want to get this night overwith." She frowns sadly and sits on her bed.

"Oh, please, Humphrey. We both know this kiss is the highlight of your night. Probably your life." It comes out with almost no bite and almost all question. He's silent on the other side of the door. He must be getting impatient. She tries her zipper one more time. "I-ugh-I can't get my dress to zip." She whines and stomps her foot. She too wants to move this night along. For an entirely different reason than he does, though, she thinks defeatedly. More silence. "Are you still there?" It usually takes more to offend him. "Dan?" She calls out meekly from her place on the bed.

She finally hears rustling outside the door. "Yeah, yeah. I'm still here. Of course. Do you-" He clears his throat. He probably ran a hand through his hair. Oh, Jesus. He better not mess up his hair. That's assuming he managed to get it to look un-messed. "Do you need help? May I come in?" He asks hesitantly.

"Oh." She says almost to herself. Why didn't she think of that? "Yes. To both questions." She places her hands in her lap and sits primly waiting for him to come through the door. To her rescue. For someone who wants to get a move on he sure is taking a long time to open that door. She's about to say as much when he finally enters. Her eyes flit over his body, his tie is straight, quickly to his hair, hoping he doesn't see her checking. He did manage to make it look un-messed. Then they land on his face. Her heart beats faster. Dapper Dan, indeed. He looks so handsome. And he did all of this simply to help her get another boy. She meets his eyes and smiles warmly.

"Blair." He says it with such appreciation that her smile falters. "You look-You look beautiful." He nods his head and gives her a small smile.

"Thank you, Dan. You look handsome. One might even say... dapper." She gives him a playful smirk. He chuckles and shakes his head. They hold each other's gaze for a moment before he looks away and then meets her eyes again. Only his eyes are less warm and more distant than before. She doesn't like that. Not one bit.

"So." He claps his hands and moves towards her. "This offensive zipper..." He trails off as he holds his hand out in front of her. She places hers in his and lets him help her to her feet. Oh, she likes that.

"Ri-Right." She gets hung up on their hands together. The contact. The spark that started in her hand and surged all the way through the rest of her body. How does he not feel that? She wonders absently. She finally tears her eyes away from their hands and finds him looking at her quizzically. She takes a step forward, closer. All she can think about is being closer. He moves forward, closer too. He looks down at her hand in his, then he looks in her eyes. He tilts his head and smiles so faintly it's almost more confusion than smile. Like he's feeling and thinking everything she's feeling and thinking and wondering if she's feeling and thinking it too. She is. She is. She just needs him to make a move. She's screaming at him in her head. If he feels it why isn't he doing something about it? She starts to doubt herself and the hope that he's feeling anything remotely similar to what she's feeling. She frowns slightly. He steps back and lets go of her hand.

"Turn around." He says softly. Blair furrows her brow. "Your zipper? I'm assuming it's in the back." He says it like he doesn't have time to play anymore.

"Oh. Oh, yeah." She says as she does as she's told. She can feel him moving closer. She doesn't know what it is but something about this situation, with her dress half open, and him approaching her like this is making her breathing come up a little short. No, she knows what it is. It's a situation that she wants to happen more often. Only with Dan's hands moving her zipper in the other direction. The room is charged. Her heart is pounding. She shivers when she feels his hand brush against her back. She closes her eyes. Oh, God. He's taking his sweet time getting this zipper up. He steps even closer until she can feel his breath on her neck. "Humphrey?" She breathes out quietly, raggedly.

"Sorry, it's stuck." His answer mirrors her own quiet, ragged question. He groans in frustration. He has no idea what frustration is! She feels him pull the dress a little tighter and yank the zipper up. Spell. Broken. Her dress! Ahh! "What? Sorry. It just needed a quick yank." Oh, she must have yelped out loud.

"If you and your clumsy Brooklyn hands rip this dress, Humphrey..." She whirls around to face him. He rubs a hand over his jaw and _rolls his eyes_. "What did I tell you about rolling your eyes?!"

"Please. If you don't tell me the details for this scheme then you're the only person affected. I could not care any less about this." He snaps. "And despite what you think about me, you're not the first girl I've zipped a dress for and you won't be the last. I know what I'm doing." Blair's taken aback by his outburst. She didn't mean it like that. What has gotten into him tonight? And she won't be the last? Oh, she will show him. She notices the crease in his brow and his crossed arms. She shifts uncomfortably and looks around the room. He's really upset. He softens, barely, when he sees that she's noticed his body language...as if the verbal communication hadn't been enough. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Blair. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I made a mess of your date earlier and I told you I'd help with Lucien and I will. I will. Let's just get on with it, please." He turns toward the door and ushers her out of it.

She hesitantly leads him to the living room so she can gather her coat and purse. She pauses when she's in there. What is she doing? Why is she doing this? She seems to just be annoying him at this point. He comes up behind her and places a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, I'm really sorry. I don't want to ruin this for you. I don't want to ruin anything for you." Oh, that's why. She slowly turns around and eyes him with fake suspicion. He laughs softly. "I'll behave better. I promise." He holds his hands up in surrender. She nods and gives him a small smile.

"There's that loyalty I so appreciate." She says breezily. Their dynamic restored at least temporarily. She moves to the mirror to reapply her lipstick. He stands a good, or bad, in her opinion, distance behind her and watches her. She can feel his eyes on her. Her breathing starts to falter again. She hesitantly lifts her gaze to meet his in the mirror. There's a moment when their eyes meet that's heavy and electric. That. Is. It. She's about to turn and push him onto the sofa when he darts his eyes away. Ok. Well, there will be lots of pushing onto sofas later.

"So, details?" Dan pipes up from behind her after she continued putting on her lipstick.

"Louis is going to store his suitcase in Blaine Trump's butler's pantry and when Lucien arrives, you and I will rendezvous there." She smacks her lips confidently and puts her lipstick back in its tube. "Ok. I need to get going. You clear on the plan?" She asks as she moves past him to her purse and coat.

"Uh, yeah, I think I'll be fine once I figure out what a butler's pantry is." He says, bordering very precariously between humor and complaint. Hadn't he said he was going to behave? Oh, his attitude tonight is just impossible.

"You're a cater waiter," Blair eyes him incredulously as she searches through her clutch for her phone. "You know exactly what a butler's pantry is. Where is my cell phone?" She only looks at Dan's exasperated face for a second before she registers that disaster has struck. "Omg. They moved the Pink Party."

"Who moves a party?" Dan asks in confusion. Really?

"It's not who that should concern you." He gives her a frustrated look and tilt of the head. He looks like he is literally holding in a tidal wave of snark. She ignores it and continues good naturedly. "It's where. Lily's."

"So, that's it then, right?" His relief is enough to nearly send her over the edge.

"No." She looks down for a moment and calculates. No, this still works. She's not stopping now. "The plan is still on." She says confidently.

"In front of my Dad? Lily? Serena?" He says with frustration. As if she isn't aware of these things.

"Not in front of. Under the nose of." She clarifies. "We just need to be careful. I'm going to call Louis and tell him it's a go. Meet you there." She pauses and eyes him. She needs to get him back in this. "Screw this up...it's your head." Her fake smile is met with one from Dan. Oh, he is really in a mood tonight. He'll be over it soon enough.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello, again! I'll keep this short and sweet today: thank you all for the kind words, follows, and faves! You guys are awesome! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :) Again, a lot of this dialogue is lifted straight from 4x19, so thank you to whoever wrote that ep! **

Blair must have been awful in a past life. Just awful. There's no other way to explain why she's being subjected to such torture right now. She's been listening to Jessica and Penelope interrogate her on end about her mystery boyfriend. She's only managed to keep a pleasant smile on her face because her plan is falling into place perfectly. Louis is here. Poised to text when Lucien arrives. Dan will be here any minute. Poised to kiss her when she gives the word. Life is grand. Even the sequin abusers before her couldn't ruin this night.

"Ok, Blair, is it Jason Semos?" Jessica asks. Who? Blair doesn't even know the name.

"He's my boyfriend, Jessica." Penelope says insecurely.

"A handy at Greenhouse does not make him your boyfriend." Jessica declares ruefully. Hmm. She has more potential than Blair realized. She'll have to get her a better Christmas gift this year.

"Maybe Serena knows who Blair's secret boyfriend is." Penelope says in what Blair assumes is a terrible subject change until she hears Serena respond behind her.

"No, but the curiosity is killing me." Blair turns to look at Serena. Something in her voice is making Blair uneasy. Great. She didn't want to lie to Serena but there's just no way around this. If she tells her the truth now she'll surely tell Dan or she'll force Blair to tell Dan. Everything has to be perfect for her reveal. She's gently preparing Humphrey. She can't just drop it on him like an anvil. And, technically, Louis is her mystery boyfriend...that she's using to woo Dan. Serena does not need to know that just yet, though.

"Ok. I'll tell you." Blair tells Serena jovially. Then turns back to her minions. "Not you. Scatter. Twenty paces, minimum. No overhears." The less those knuckleheads know the better. She turns back to Serena with a smile. "I can't wait to see their faces when they find out it's the prince!" She says merrily. My Lord. It is a pity no one is appreciating her brilliant acting in this scheme. She turns to Charlie disdainfully. "You are not to breathe a word of this. Normally, you'd have to sign a non-disclosure agreement. I'm only grandfathering you in because of Serena." She gives Serena a sweet smile. It's true. If it weren't for Serena this girl would not be hearing this all important...lie. She hopes Serena remembers this when the bomb goes off. Only Serena has the weirdest smile on her face.

"That him...right over there?" Charlie's question stops Blair's train of thought. "Don't understand why you guys are ignoring each other." What? Why is this girl asking so many questions? Good questions?

"That's because you're from Florida." Blair retorts. This must be a joke.

"Oh. Hey. It's Dan." Serena announces for no discernible reason. What is going on?

"With a really nice tie too." Charlie adds with a quick glance at Serena. No. Oh. No. She is not going to be figured out by Serena and _Florida_. Nope.

"Blair, did you know he was coming?" Serena asks with her weird voice and smile. Fight or flight? Both?

"I'm sorry. I stopped listening as soon as I heard the word Dan." She lies. "Excuse me." She says sweetly as she turns to leave. That was bad. Close. Too close. Where is Lucien?!

She's been avoiding Dan all night per the plan. It's been torture, though. She was keeping tabs on him from afar but she lost sight of him 15 minutes ago and hasn't seen him since. She perks up when she receives Louis' text letting her know that Lucien has arrived. She's filled with butterflies suddenly. She takes a deep, steadying breath as she looks at Lucien. It's time. Now she just needs Dan...

To be disinfected. The crowd parts and she sees and hears him flirting with Charlie. _Flirting._ With _Charlie._ What in the actual hell? Does every girl in this city want him now simply because she does or has he always had this much game and she just never noticed? Either way she's over it. She can't wait until he is officially hers and she doesn't have to deal with this nonsense any longer. _Florida? _Really? She shakes the thought away as she approaches them. They're having a conversation about...Sarah Palin? Alaska? Bears? Dan's trying to reference movies that she's probably never even heard of. Oh, this is a tragedy. She's interrupting for his sake really.

"Excuse me." Blair says as she stops next to Dan. "This is Dan Humphrey, Serena's ex-boyfriend. Which makes him off limits to you." Blair's surprised the Lord hasn't stricken her down for all of this hypocrisy. Oh, well. It hasn't happened yet so she might as well plow on. She turns her wrath toward Dan. "And you should know better. Certain people might see you, misunderstand, and think that the two of you are here together." Dan's giving her his favorite look of the evening: a charming mix of exasperation and annoyance that he's not even trying to hide. She grips his arm tightly in retribution. "I need to speak to you about your behavior. Privately." She shoots Charlie one last glare before she stalks off. She turns to talk to him when she realizes he lagged behind to get in one last quip with Charlie. Unbelievable! She can't even keep track of all the simpering vixens she's trying to keep at bay now.

He finally joins her. "For someone who's just a friend you sure are good at choreographing reasons for us to kiss." Dan says confidently. First Charlie and now this. She's strongly considering a kick in lieu of a kiss. He is so ungrateful!

"Oh! That's just because I'm willing to suffer for love." She retorts snidely. He has no idea how close he is to the truth.

"Mmmhmm. Whatever you say." Or maybe he does. She slides her eyes over to him quickly. "Just no getting handsy." Oh, please. She rolls her eyes at him. He'll be singing a different tune soon. She brushes past him and saunters up the stairs. Seduction can never start too soon.

She's all nerves and jitters and anticipation as they head into the guest bedroom. She needs this to work. The line for Dan Humphrey's heart is steady growing and she wants to be his choice. It's an uphill climb considering their past and what he thinks of her but everything is so different now. She feels it. She hopes he feels it. She's jolted out of her overactive musings by Dan clearing his throat. She turns to look at him and smiles coyly. She can feel a shift in the energy of the room. In them. The attitudes have left the building. His eyes are soft and warm. He's got a faint, indulgent smile on his face.

"Impatient for something, Humphrey?" She asks playfully. He laughs almost guiltily and shrugs his shoulders.

"No more than you are, Waldorf." He replies cheekily as he strides across the room towards her. She feels a steady current of excitement coursing through her. He stops right in front of her and runs a hand through his hair. She looks up at him expectantly. "So I was thinking-"

"This always ends well." He snorts at her dig. He puts his hands up and starts to back away. For the first time all night, maybe in days, she feels like they're hitting their usual rhythm. He's not actually offended and she's not worried that he's actually leaving her. Well, he might, but he'll be back. They're clicking again and she loves it. She reaches out to grab his lapels and pull him back towards her before he gets completely out of reach. She's already got her hands on him so she's about to just keep pulling him closer until she can kiss his lips but he comes to a stop and rests his hands over hers stilling her tug. She looks at him questioningly.

"We've done this your way before." He says quietly, seriously. "I was thinking that since our first kiss, was my idea but you initiated it, maybe we could try the opposite this time? This one is your idea, but I think I should initiate it." He slowly removes her hands from his jacket. He holds them in his for a moment, rubbing his thumbs over them. She's in a daze. "I mean I know this is for Lucien's benefit or Louis', I don't even know who it's really for anymore, but if you want it to work you can't, you _shouldn't_, rush it." Hey. That was still a good kiss.

"It was. It was." He nods slowly. Damn, she's always accidentally blurting things out around him. Her internal scolding doesn't last long because Dan's realized something. And he's looking at her like he's never looked at her before. He looks awed that she would think something about him was good. "You thought that kiss was good? You said it was like kissing a toad. And then a labrador." He almost laughs at the memory.

"You're the one who said it meant nothing." She sees his eyes flash again. "Anyway, I only meant that my part was good. I'm a good kisser, Humphrey." The look on his face lets her know that he did not believe that. He smiles at her sweetly.

"I think I need more evidence." He winks at her. Her eyes grow wide with amusement. He is something else tonight.

"You keep up this attitude, Humphrey, and you will never get so much as a peck on the cheek from me." She says coolly.

He bites his lip and shrugs his shoulders as if to say he doesn't care. That's it. She rips her hands out of his and moves them to his chest. She pushes him back until he hits a wall. She wraps her hands around his neck and is just about to slam her mouth into his when he pulls back just enough so she doesn't reach his mouth. She groans. He laughs and whispers, "Wait." He brings his hands to her waist and begins to move his hands up and down her waistline to her hips and then back up again. What is he doing now? And, you know, he seems to have lost sight of the fact that Lucien is supposed to be watching this and they don't have all night. Not that she really cares about the Lucien factor because this is all fake anyway but he doesn't know that. Why is he always, always ruining her schemes?! But, oh. Their eyes have been dancing and his hands haven't stilled their movement. She's falling, falling, falling.

"Don't wait for too long, Dan." She says tenderly and casts her eyes downward. He lifts her chin so that her eyes raise to meet his. She's almost startled by all the security and reverence she sees there. "I mean, you know, Lucien and Louis. Lucien's going to be here any minute." She practically mumbles.

"I know. I won't." She barely registers the words before he's leaning in to press a kiss to her lips. He sighs deeply when he connects. Oh, she wishes that was a deeper kiss so she could have caught that sigh. She's just about to open her mouth under his when he pulls back. She whimpers and reluctantly flutters her eyes open to see what he's up to.

"Dan?" She barely recognizes her own voice. It's so soft and delicate and vulnerable. What is he doing to her? "If-If you think a friendly peck is going to-"

Her words are cut off as Dan's started to lean in again and she can't focus when he's looking at her like that and his lips are so close. Then his lips press gently against hers. She feels his tongue slip out and spread her lips open to slip in. She moans and adjusts her body so that she's even closer to him, leaning into the kiss as much as she can. His hand on her waist slips around to her back to help push her closer. His other hand is cradling the side of her head and neck. His tongue is exploring her mouth and she can't get enough. She's had his jacket fisted in her hands this whole time but as they settle into a rhythm she lets go and rests them on his shoulders. He's not going anywhere. Except he is. Suddenly he's pulling back again and looking around the room anxiously.

"Did you hear that?" He looks at her with concern. Wh-What?! "I think someone was in here." Who even cares?! She places a hand on her forehead and quickly drops it. When did everyone around her get so dense?

"It was probably Lucien, Dan." She says as she tries to gather her wits. That kiss left her senseless. And him too, apparently.

"Oh. Right." Dan says, shaking his head. "Then I guess we're finished here?" He eyes her. Her lips tighten into a straight line, trying to keep her expression blank.

"Sure. We're finished here." She says evenly and grabs her bag, heading for the door. Unbelievable.

"Great." Dan says tiredly, following her to the staircase. Blair's about to snap at him when she sees Lucien giving them a smile. What reason does she have to be mad? Her plan is working as planned, as far as Dan knows.

"Well, judging by the look on Lucien's face, he totally bought it." Blair says brightly. This is fine. She can still salvage this scheme. She can. "You're very convincing." Very.

"Thanks. I guess." Dan responds ambivalently. Whatever spell had settled them into their normal, playful dynamic in that room has dissipated. She doesn't know what's going on between them but she hates it. Her worries are interrupted by the sound of every phone in the room going off. Uh oh. Gossip Girl's busted somebody. She looks at her phone hesitantly.

Oh God. Gossip Girl's busted _her._ She looks on in horror as a video of her and Dan kissing plays on her phone. And everyone else's phone apparently. Eric's looking at her in shock while she thinks she sees her minions about to pass out with glee. Oh God.

She turns around to tug on Dan's jacket and pull him down the stairs with her. Oh God. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Serena's going to be hurt. And Chuck. She suspects that if she listens closely enough she can hear the barware abuse occurring at The Empire right now. Oh God. They have to find Serena. She practically falls down the stairs looking around for her. Then she hears Penelope behind her.

"Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey! This is even better than my parents' divorce. Please tell me it's true." Penelope's practically salivating. Good grief. She's about to set her straight when she sees Lucien. She'll blow up her scheme with Dan if she tells the truth. Oh well. She'll have to have this conversation with Penelope eventually...if Dan ever gets a freaking clue.

"Uh." She looks over at a confused Dan and grabs his hand. "Yes. It's true. Dan is my mystery date and we couldn't be happier." She smiles at him. He gives her an annoyed smile. Oh, it's just like him to ruin their fake coming out with his sour attitude. She grips his hand and turns them from Penelope. "Now we have to find Serena and explain this." She keeps her hand in Dan's and drags him behind her.

She decides that dividing and conquering is the best way to find her. And it works for her nearly immediately as she finds Serena talking to Louis, no doubt blowing that fake relationship up. Joke's on Serena.

"Serena, wait. I can explain." Blair starts calmly, hoping that if she keeps a level head Serena will too. Oh, nope. Serena just keeps moving past her. She doesn't make any move to stop her. Maybe giving her a minute is best. She needs to find out what Louis said to her anyway. Louis assures her that he kept up the charade. She thanks him for coming and lets him know his work, for tonight, is done before heading up the stairs. She sees Dan chasing, yes, chasing, after Serena into a bedroom. She'll be damned if that conversation is happening without her. She's not losing either one of them. She hurries after Dan into the bedroom.

"Serena that video wasn't real." Dan says calmly, like he's not here for a battle. He looks at Blair for back up. She's of no use because it has dawned on her how difficult this conversation is going to be. For so many reasons. "I mean-I mean we did kiss but it was staged." It didn't feel very staged.

"Ok, even if I did believe you, what about the other time you guys kissed? Was that for Louis too?" Serena asks mockingly. She and Dan look at each other with equal parts guilt and confusion. How does Serena know about that? How long has Serena known about that? Serena is staring at them, waiting for an answer.

"Uh, it meant nothing." She'll go with their stock answer for this common question. God forbid any one of them not have every detail of their lives out there for dissection. And then there's Dan, fidgeting and shuffling next to her. She's so sick of all of this she could pull her hair out. "It was like kissing my brother. If I had one. Like kissing your brother. It honestly was bad and meant nothing, Serena." Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Dan's head whip around to look at her before nodding slowly. She just hope this quells Serena's questioning.

"I don't understand, how did you end up in a kiss in the first place? Any kiss?" Serena would choose now to start thinking critically.

"We both were alone in the city over Christmas break." Dan starts.

"And we ran into each other at the movies." Blair continues.

"And then it kept happening after the break, only we started making plans to meet." Dan picks up again.

Blair's turn again, "And, even worse, enjoying it." She says with what she hopes is convincing disgust. She hears Dan groan in agreement. She has half a mind to push him right out the door.

"But you guys are my two closest friends, why couldn't you just tell me that?" Serena asks with evident hurt. Blair just wants to make it stop hurting for her best friend. Even though she knows that if she gets what she wants, Serena will be in for a lot more hurt.

"I was hoping it would go away." Dan says right as Blair fires her own gun. "I was humiliated." Well, it seems they're on the same page about that, Blair thinks dejectedly, before she continues.

"Which is why we kissed."

"To make sure nothing else was going on to complicate us or-or hurt you." Dan concludes.

"And?" Serena asks hesitantly.

"Biggest regret of my life." She feels sick saying that. It's the opposite of the truth and is setting her back about one hundred years but she needs to handle the present situation. She can't move forward until Serena is distracted again. And, my God, she just wants some privacy!

"I mean that's a-come on-that's a little bit of an overstatement but, yeah, it was not a good kiss." Blair looks over at him and has to bite her lip to keep from smiling. He's lying too. They cleared this up earlier: it was a good kiss. She wonders if this is another thing that Dan feels should be only for them or if he's simply sparing Serena. It's probably both. Every second brings a new revelation about how alike they are.

"So, you guys have been lying to me and sneaking around for months so that you can hang out as friends?" Serena doesn't seem to buy or understand any of this. While Blair doesn't blame her, she also growing increasingly annoyed with having to explain this.

"Exactly. Friends." Blair says shortly. Finally. She sees Serena slide her eyes to Dan for an answer. So now Blair's word isn't good enough? Serena's getting more and more observant, Blair thinks in a mix of pride and annoyance.

"Yeah." Dan shrugs his shoulders in an effort to show his nonchalance but only ends up looking guilty. Great. "I swear. Just-yeah-friends." That was not convincing. At all. Serena is never going to belie-Wait. Dan's lying. Blair knows as sure as she's standing here that Dan's lying. She sucks in a breath. Dan's lying about being friends. He-he must have feelings for her. She takes a peek at him. Oh my God. Dan's lying.

"Well, I'm really glad you two found each other because you've sure lost me. I have to go." Serena finishes sadly and turns to gather her purse and coat. Blair can't move. She's not sure she's breathing. She needs to figure out this Dan thing. My God. She's been trying to get him to notice her, feel something besides friendship for her and now she thinks maybe he does but Serena is acting like someone's run over her puppy. The world is spinning. What does she do?

Dan sighs in frustration and shakes his head. He gives Blair one last exasperated look before walking out. She turns to watch him leave. Dumbfounded. She wants to go after him, with him. Her heart already has, but her head is telling her to try to make Serena feel better. Ok. She'll go to Dan as soon as she fixes this mess with Serena. She needs a clear head for Dan.

"I'm really sorry, S." Blair begins to approach her. "I guess I was in denial. I didn't want to admit that I'd begun to understand the Humphrey appeal." She makes sure to shudder in all the right places so Serena stays on the track Blair wants her to stay on.

"The only appeal Dan ever had to you is that he was mine." Serena asserts and starts to move around Blair to leave. Oh. No. How dare she?

"You would see it that way because it's always about you isn't it." She wants to lay out every single thing that she knows about Dan. Things that Serena probably doesn't know and probably never will. Serena has no idea what she sees in Dan and what their relationship is now. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but Dan and I have a real connection. We did things like visit the DIA and debate things like Chabrol versus Rohmer. Things that we could never do with you." She hadn't meant for that to come out so harshly but Serena crossed a line.

Serena looks as if she's trying to stifle a laugh. "Yeah. I'm-I'm sure you and Dan had a really deep connection. That is until a prince came along." Blair could wipe that smirk off of her face so easily. She knows that she understands and appreciates Dan in a way that Serena never has. And the prince is only around so she can get Dan so that little argument is moot. Not that Serena can know that...

"Of course." She really should have seen this coming. "Because that would be an even bigger threat to you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Serena asks like she knows but still wants Blair to say it. Fine.

"You prefer when you're the one in the spotlight." She's done worrying about Serena's feelings in relation to Dan. She told him she was done with him. It's time someone else had a chance with Dan. "But it's my turn now. You can have a taste of what it's like to be in my shadow for once." Blair takes a steadying breath. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my prince awaits." She's wasted enough time.

Her town car is pulling up just as Vanessa comes storming out of Dan's building entrance. Oh, dodged that bullet. Wait. Why was Vanessa even there and why is she so upset? If she has to add one more person to Dan's receiving line she's going to scream. Oh, who knows what that hipster wanted. She shakes it off and goes to open the door. She hesitates. She worries her lip and looks around the car. She just has to be sure. She knows what-who-she wants. She thinks she knows what-who-Dan wants. Thinking and knowing are two different things, though. She'll sit in this car and talk herself out of following her heart forever. She's braver than that. And it's Dan. She takes a deep breath. She knows what she needs to do, but should she do it? She can feel her driver staring at her in the rear view mirror. Well, he can just wait. She's not leaving this car until she knows what she's doing. She's not leaving this car unless she's doing something. If she's going up there, she's going up there for a reason.

**A/N 2: Ok that was an awful stopping place. I'm sorry! The good news is I've got most of 9 written so it'll be up asap! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Wow! You guys are seriously the best! Thank you for everything! I know today sucked but I'm seeing this story through to the end and I hope you all come with me! On a related note, just so everyone knows too, I probably will not finish this until after GG wraps. Idk who will still be around then but I definitely plan on finishing this. Anyway I hope you all enjoy it! And that it helps in some way. :) Um, it's also longer and...smuttier than usual. This is a warning! This thing is finally rated M for a reason. **

Blair's light knock reverberates in the quiet hallway outside of Dan's loft. Reverberates in her head. She can't think but she really needs to. Her hands are shaking. She flexes them out in front of her to try to steady them. It doesn't work. Then the door is flying open and Dan looks pissed. Oh. She wasn't expecting that.

"Oh, Blair." He softens instantly when he says her name, registers that it's her. It hits her like a ton of bricks. There's a brief moment when he takes her in where he just brightens. How has she missed that? "I-I thought you were someone else." He runs a hand over the back of his neck.

"Vanessa?" Blair offers sympathetically.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" Dan furrows his brow.

"I-uh-I saw her running out of the building when I arrived." She reaches her hand out to rub his arm soothingly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Dan's eyes widen and he looks like he's about to laugh. "Wow. You're taking this friendship thing to a new level." She rolls her eyes. "Seriously, I don't want to talk about Vanessa tonight, but thank you. I appreciate the offer." Oh, thank God. She didn't want to hear about Vanessa tonight. Or any other night but she would have listened for him. While inside she was going crazy, waiting to drop her bomb. Speaking of...

"So, Dan, are you going to invite me in or what?" She asks softly, nervously. She smiles up at him. This time she notices his intake of breath and the quick flicker of his eyes to her smiling lips. Oh my God.

"Uh. Yeah. You should- I should." He looks around the loft frantically. Looks like he's about to shut the door in her face, seems to think better of it. Looks toward his office.

"Humphrey. Are you hiding someone in here?" Blair's heart sinks. Who is it this time? Serena? The homeless lady who usually lurks around here? Did Vanessa shimmy back up the fire escape?

"Uh. Ye-Yes. Kind of. Well, it's just-" Blair shoves him to the side and storms into the loft.

"Hey! Member number 561 of the 'I Want Dan Humphrey' club, you can come out now!" She shouts from her position in the middle of the loft. She jerks her coat off and slams it on the counter along with her bag. She goes back to standing in the middle of the loft with her hands on her hips, foot tapping impatiently.

"Blair." Her name comes out of his mouth on a disbelieving laugh. She whips around and glares at him.

"I'm sorry. Is something funny, Humphrey?" He shrugs his shoulders and nods his head slightly. Her eyes widen at his disrespect. "That's it." She stalks toward the office door and looks inside to find Charlie cowering in Dan's chair. Charlie? Florida?! Again?! "Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. Serena's cousin, Dan?" She groans in disgust and rejoins him. She folds her arms and raises her eyebrows to spur him on. She hears Charlie shuffling out of the office.

"It's-It's not what you think, Blair. She just came by to apologize for sending the video of us kissing into Goss-" He stops talking and realizes what he's said. He moves forward to reach for her arm but she's already spun around to face Charlie.

"She sent the video in?" Blair yells. She takes a deep breath and tries to regain her composure. Remembers why she's here tonight. "I think it's time for you to leave, Charlie."

"I'm sorry, Blair. I am. It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have been following you guys around at all today." Charlie winces at Blair's reaction to that information. "Oh my God. Don't be mad at Serena. Please. She didn't know I sent the video in! She just was hurt that you were hiding something from her." Charlie continues to dig a deeper and deeper hole. Blair feels like the wind has been knocked out of her...Serena had them followed? And then had the nerve to be sanctimonious with her? Why would she have gone through all this trouble? Maybe Dan doesn't want Serena, but it seems pretty clear that Serena wants Dan.

"Charlie, I understand and we're-I'm-not mad. I do think it'd be best, for your safety, and Blair's police record, if you left. I appreciate you coming by and being honest." Blair looks up in time to see Charlie acquiescing as Dan leads her to the door. He's being awfully nice about this.

"Charlie." She turns slowly at Blair's call. "If you ever, ever, cross me or someone I care about again, you will regret it. Think twice before you do Serena's bidding next time." Blair slowly curls her lips into her best Queen B smile. Dan gives her a warning look. She drops her smile and rolls her eyes. She looks pointedly back at Charlie. "You've been warned."

"I'm going to make sure she gets into a cab safely. You'll be here when I come back up?" Dan looks at her, waiting for her answer. She doesn't miss Charlie's downcast eyes. Hmmm. Maybe not getting Dan is punishment enough. She slowly pulls her eyes from Charlie back to Dan.

"Well, we've already established that I am not one for fire escape exits." She says as she takes a seat on the sofa. Dan smiles. Oh, there goes her heart.

"Ok. I'll be right back." He says as he closes the door behind them.

She's left alone with her thoughts. Her mind is racing. Her heart is racing. She looks at her dress poofing out around her. It feels ridiculous. This dress in this loft. She likes the contrast, though. Likes her and Dan's contrast. There's something poetic about it, about them. She smiles to herself and plays with her dress. She feels like a little girl. The fear and the excitement propel her to her feet. She's thoughtfully pacing the floor when she hears the door open. She smiles slowly at him. He tilts his to the side and returns her smile.

"Hey." He says quietly. Blair looks down for a moment before meeting his eyes.

"Hey." She returns. They stare at each other for a nervous moment before they both go to speak at the same time. "Dan, we-"

"So, why-" They laugh. He gestures for her to continue but she shakes her head. She can't say what she wants, needs, to say until he says everything he's willing to say.

"No, please, go ahead." She says. He inhales deeply before crossing the room. He takes a seat on the sofa.

"Are you trying to wear a hole in my floor, Waldorf? Why are you pacing like that? You weren't going to prove me wrong about the fire escape were you?" She thinks he meant it as a joke but she can see the curiosity, maybe worry, in his eyes.

"No. No, I wasn't going to leave." She tells him reassuringly. She looks around the room. She can't believe how much she likes this loft in Brooklyn. How much she likes the boy who occupies it. He's staring at her again. "I-I don't know. I'm all riled up from tonight's events, I suppose."

"Oh. Yeah, it has been one for the books, hasn't it?" He chuckles and leans back into the sofa. He pats the seat next to him, then sweetly and gently. "Come sit down. Relax." See, that's what it is. If anyone else was to say this to her, ever, she'd spiral and reel. When he says it, though, it works. Maybe it's because he means it. Maybe it's because he doesn't even have to say it. His presence calms her. She nods and sits next to him, her dress taking up half the sofa again, covering part of his leg. He laughs.

"If I was so inclined I could make a metaphor out of this dress right now." He says thoughtfully. He reaches out and runs his hand along the edge of the full skirt. She watches his hand, then raises her eyes to his. "Why are you here, Blair?" He asks softly, seriously. He angles his body to her slightly, eyes intent.

"I-I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see you." She forces it out of herself before she has time to lie or think. She's jumping straight in. Dan smiles faintly.

"That's funny." She gives him a puzzled look and is about to send her walls back up when he reaches a hand over and covers hers that she's had folded neatly in her lap. "I wanted to talk to you, and see you, too." She watches his hand as it curls around one of hers. She quickly looks up at him. Oh, his eyes are so warm and inviting. She's safe here. She knows it. She gets it now. "Are you going to tell me what you wanted to talk to me about?" He asks gently. She must open her mouth about five times trying to decide what she wants to say before something she hadn't thought to tell him comes spilling out.

"Everything. I want to talk to you about everything. All of the time." He sucks in a breath and she can tell he's trying to read her. "That's why I'm here. I want to talk to you all of the time. I want to see you all of the time. You're the only thing I ever want anymore." Oh, that sounds creepy and needy. "Not in a dependent way. In a healthy way. Oh, that doesn't make sense." Her eyes dance around the room as she tries to sort it out. He looks so amused. Of course he's enjoying this. "I don't need you; I want you. I just-I-" If ever anyone was on the edge of their seat, it's Dan. She looks at his face, his wide eyes, his adoring smile. He looks like he's about to burst. His hand is gripped tightly around hers now. He's not going anywhere. "I like you. I think I'm starting to more than like you." She smiles wide and shrugs. Then it hits her that she's laid all of her cards on the table. She suddenly gets nervous and fills the silence. "That's all I wanted to say."

"Finally." He leans forward and captures her lips. She whimpers and leans into him. Her hands move to his face, to hold him where she wants him. His hands work to tug her closer, wind around her waist, her back. He laughs into the kiss and Blair cracks too. He pulls back and stares at her. "That's all you wanted to say, huh?" She nods shyly. He pushes a loose curl behind her ear and kisses her cheek, leans his forehead against her temple. He looks at her and nods his head too. "I like you." He kisses her lips. "I know that I'm starting to more than like you." She lets out a happy giggle. "Blair..." He says her name so sweetly. She moves forward and kisses him until she can't breathe or think-almost. A thought comes crashing into her head.

"Wait." She says hazily. She doesn't want to wait. Not at all. She just has to know something. "'Finally?' You said 'finally.' You knew I liked you. And—and you like me, but didn't say anything?" She says accusingly. He shrugs sheepishly. What? Why? "How long have you liked me? Why haven't you told me?" He could have saved her a lot of time and scheming.

"W. I've liked you since W. You were amazing. You are amazing. I felt like I was finally seeing you, all of you. The good, the bad, the beautiful." He kisses her again. "I haven't told you because I wanted you to tell me first." She smacks his arm hard. God forbid someone chase her for a change. "Ow. Stop." He must be able to tell that she's reeling and is about to get snarky. She turns away from him and folds her arms over her chest. She thought he was going to say something sweet and romantic and instead she got that. She's fuming. "Calm down. Will you listen to me if I explain it to you? Or are you already half way out the door?" He asks knowingly. He leans forward and places a kiss on her shoulder. Oh. She's about to turn around and kiss him senseless again when his words replay in her head. She jerks her shoulder away. He laughs. Her mouth falls open as she turns around to glare at him. "Ok, ok. Are you listening? I have a good explanation. I promise." She shrugs and turns back around. "I know you probably expected me to say something flowery and poetic-"

"Well, you are a writer, Humphrey. One would hope that would be one of the few perks of being with you." She huffs out.

"Fair enough. I just-" He reaches for her hand. She tries to snatch it away but he doesn't let her. "I wanted you to come to me so that you would understand that if you come to me with your heart I would never, ever deny it, Blair. Or mistreat it." Blair whips her head around to look at him. Eyes him hesitantly. "I could tell you that a million times a day, and I will if you want me to, but experiencing it is a lot different than hearing it. And I don't know that you've ever felt that before or even had that before." He reaches his other hand up to stroke her cheek gently. He sighs and opens his mouth to speak again. She kisses him gently before he gets the chance.

"That was good." She says quietly. "That was-that was better than good. Thank you." She squeezes his hand. He's right. She's never felt her heart was safe. It's never been safe. Until now. She can practically feel it opening. She breathes fully for the first time in years, maybe a decade.

He's watching her closely, letting her take it in. He smiles at her. "I had more but if that was sufficient-" Her eyes widen greedily.

"Why settle for sufficient, Dan?" She asks casually. He chuckles, raises one of her hands to his lips.

"I was going to tell you. A hundred different times, a hundred different ways. I would get scared or unsure. I didn't want to pressure you or make you feel bad if you didn't feel the same. Then I would remember that you're Blair Waldorf and so those concerns would fly right out the window-" She hits him again.

"Maybe you should have settled for sufficient." Blair says incredulously.

"Sorry. Sorry. Uh-I-I don't know. Somewhere along the way I could tell that you were starting to have feelings for me and I just decided to wait you out. It was horrible. I've never wanted anyone so much. You are intimidating, though. The most intimidating person I've ever known. You're so beautiful and smart and funny and driven...I just couldn't see why you would want me." How could he think that? She reaches up to cup his cheek. She decides to rein in his tangents but he's already off on them again. "I would have told you, though. I would have. I would have risked my pride, feelings, anything just so you knew, but then I had my epiphany about wanting you to feel secure. I don't know how much longer I could have held out but-" She cuts him off with her mouth. She runs her tongue along his lips to get them to part. Pushes her tongue through and explores his mouth. She's practically in his lap but it still isn't close enough. She wants him. She wants him. She wants him. How could he ever think she wouldn't want him? Well, she knows how. She breaks away suddenly.

"Dan. I want you. I want you for a lot of reasons. _You're_ smart and funny and driven. I've never connected with anyone the way I connect with you. And-and I know I'm safe with you. You're my best friend and even if you didn't feel the same I know you would never have used it against me or used my feelings, or heart, to hurt me. I know that." She presses her lips to his. She has a mischievous smile when she pulls back. "Also, you're not horrible to look at. God help me, I'm really, really attracted to you. Even your inexplicable affinity for plaid hasn't deterred me." She says playfully. He laughs and rolls his eyes.

"Wow. Plaid acceptance. This is serious." He says smugly.

"It is." She intends for it to come out light hearted but it doesn't. He smiles briefly and nods his head slowly. He runs a hand up and down her arm. He's staring at her with so much reverence and she doesn't know what to do with it. She clears her throat and breaks the silence. "And, you should also know that non-deterrence is not the same thing as acceptance." He throws his head back and laughs. It might be the best thing she's ever seen. She leans forward and grabs his face. "Dan." She says softly, searching his eyes, finding answers to questions she didn't know she was asking. She kisses him with all of her heart. He moans into it and puts his hands over her wrists, his thumbs gliding back and forth. She rests her forehead against his when they break apart, slips her hands into his. "I just have one more question."

"Mmm, what's that?" He asks dazedly and trails a hand up her arm until he reaches her neck. He runs his hand over it delicately. He's looking at her like she's fascinating. He moans to himself and leans forward to leave an open, wet kiss on her neck. Her eyes flutter closed and her head rolls to the side. He slides his hand up a little to catch it. He raises his head to look in her eyes, presses a kiss to her lips, moves to her cheek. He presses a lingering kiss there, leaves a trail of kisses along his path back to her lips. "Mmmm." His moan eases her out of her reverie. Her eyes open slowly to find him staring at her with desire in his eyes. Her breath catches.

"You're being bad." She says with a pout. She just has the one question and then….and then.

"Bad? Me?" He feigns offense. "How so?" He murmurs as he leans forward to kiss her again. She turns her head so the kiss lands in her hair. She feels him laugh into it and pull back. She smiles as she turns back around.

"Yes, you. You're trying to distract me. Seduce me, even." She says, acting scandalized.

"Oh. That is true. Is it working?" His eyes are playful as they meet hers.

She breathes out a giggle. "Yes." She answers shyly.

"Then I'm being good." She snorts. Actually snorts. That was cheesy and he knows it. He's so adorable. He tries to kiss her again and she puts a hand out to stop him. They're both laughing now.

"Humphrey, I do hope you have better material than that." She declares and puts some space between them so she can focus for five seconds. "Now, let me ask my question." He raises his eyebrows to encourage her to continue, his goofy grin never leaving his face. "You told Chuck—and then me, without Chuck—that our kiss meant nothing. Why'd you say that?" She searches his face for a clue.

He clears his throat, runs a hand through his hair. "Well, it did. Mean nothing." He says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Blair can feel her face flush. What in the world is she doing here kissing him if it all means nothing? She starts to get up. "At the time, Blair." Dan adds quickly. She stills, waiting for him to continue.

"I swear to God, this better be good." Blair warns. "This evening is going from 90 to 0 rather quickly."

"Stop jumping to conclusions and listen. You do that a lot, you know? I think you may need to work on your communication skills." Dan tells her without a hint of the fear for his life one should have when saying such things to Blair Waldorf.

"Excuse me. Have you bumped your head, Daniel? You just-" Dan rolls his eyes and leans back against the sofa.

"'Daniel?' We're not doing that." He informs her.

"I'll call you whatever I please, whenever I please, darling." She adds with insincere sweetness. "As I was saying, before the great communicator _interrupted_ me, you just said that the kiss meant nothing. That seems to be a pretty straight forward comment to me." She says with annoyance.

"Yes, that was a straight forward comment. I wasn't finished, though. I had more." He says defensively. Blair scoffs.

"Were you going to ramble some more about how you don't have to worry about me feeling badly about hurting you? Because, really, that was so charming the first time." She cuts her eyes at him and crosses her arms.

"What are you so upset about anyway? You said it meant nothing too." She gets the distinct feeling that he finds this amusing. The comment and the way he says it propel her to her feet. She moves away from the living room, to the center of the loft. Her dress knocking items off the coffee table as she passes by. She hears Dan choke back a laugh. She makes a loud screeching noise to signal her frustration.

"After you said it!" He softens and gets up to stand in front of her. "And I'm not sorry about that." She snaps and gestures to the magazines and mail scattered on the floor. He smirks and casts his eyes downward.

"May I finish now?" She makes a noise that he seems to think is a 'yes,' but actually had more to with his gaze landing on her again. "Meaning nothing didn't mean it was a bad kiss." Oh, good grief. Is this really his defense? "Meaning nothing actually meant-It meant that it meant something to me, but I didn't think it meant anything to you. If it didn't mean anything to you, then, yeah, it meant nothing. I was waiting for you." Blair can feel her wall falling again. That was good. "I was just following your lead, Waldorf." He chuckles a little. "But you're a surprisingly awful leader." She's preparing a sassy comeback but she's smiling before she can do anything about it. He's not entirely wrong...in this instance.

"I think it should be noted, for the record, that I was waiting for you. I was just following your lead, Humphrey." She says distractedly. Her eyes have found his lips. "_You're_ the not-so-surprisingly awful leader." He full on laughs at this. She loves the joy that comes with making him laugh. It's such a refreshing feeling.

"So, we're both awful leaders? Fine. Another thing to add to our growing compatibility list." She moves to swat at him but he catches her hand and kisses it delicately. He laces their hands together and stares at them for a moment. He brings her hand back to his mouth before letting it go and moving the hand to her waist.

He moves his hand to her cheek then slides it into her hair and tightens his arm around her waist to pull her closer. He lowers his eyes to her lips then back up to her eyes. He finally moves to her lips again. He gently kisses the corners of her mouth before capturing her bottom lip. She comes alive at the contact and she surges into his body, as close as she can get. Her hands slide to his side and she grips his shirt to pull herself closer still. He's trying to pull her closer too. There's no rush or desperation. There's only attention and care. She could do this forever. His tongue is lightly applying pressure to hers. She's only focused on his mouth and his hands...one is stroking her back and then her waist, pressing and then gripping. The other is buried in her hair. It's slow and gentle but it's still so emotional and powerful. It's how she's always dreamed of being kissed and she can't breathe she's so overcome. How does he know everything she ever wants or feels?

She pulls back to rest her forehead against his. He presses his lips to hers one more time and draws back slowly. She quickly moves into his arms again. He puts his arms back around her. She leans up and kisses him before resting her head between his shoulder and neck. He kisses her hair, her temple, wherever he can reach. "Are you ready to share the lead with me and, maybe, just maybe, get somewhere, Waldorf?" He asks teasingly and she laughs softly. When she lifts her head to look at him she can see the weight of the question in his eyes.

She nods confidently. He moves a hand up her shoulder, to her neck and pulls her that much closer. She feels his breath on her ear before she hears the words, "Say it." She locks her eyes on his.

"I'm ready to share the lead with you." She smiles at his feigned surprise. "I'm ready to share a lot of things with you, Dan." She says softly, surely. She melts when she sees his eyes light up at this declaration.

"Blair..." Oh, God. His lips are on hers again. Working them open with his, his tongue is sliding over hers and she can't take it. She moans helplessly, desperately into his mouth. Her hands are roaming over whatever parts of him she can reach. She lets one rest on the back of his neck, her fingers trailing into his hair. She can't get close enough. His hands are in her hair, knocking her pins out. She can feel pieces falling down. She doesn't care. He's turning them, pushing her backwards. She hopes it's towards his bedroom. She gasps out in surprise when her back hits a hard surface. He pulls back to look at her. "Sorry. Are you ok?" She is not ok because his mouth is not on hers and they have entirely too many clothes on. This is too much to communicate right now so she kisses him forcefully. She pushes her tongue roughly into his mouth. He responds by pressing his body into hers. She unbuttons his shirt. It takes longer than she likes but her hands are shaking with want and anticipation. She yanks it out of his dress pants and finally finishes. She moves her hands up to his arms to move them down so she can get his shirt off. He breaks away from her mouth too. That wasn't necessary. They're both breathless. She'd kill him if it wasn't in direct opposition to what she wants. "Louis…." He murmurs.

"Wh—what?" Not exactly the sweet nothing she was hoping for. Louis?

He takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair. "What about Louis? Aren't you dating him? Isn't that what tonight was all about?" Oh. She'd forgotten all about Louis. Actually, she's forgotten about a lot of things with Dan standing there with his shirt undone.

"Louis. Don't—Don't worry about Louis. He knows. He knows how I feel about you." Now is not the time to go into that scheme…. or the others. She'll deal with that later. Right now, she just wants to be with him.

"He knows." He nods slowly and approaches her again. He smiles before he leans down to kiss her again. She moans and finally pushes the shirt off of him. She wraps her arms around his neck, bringing him even closer. He pulls back.

"Daaannnn!" She leans her head against the wall. "Now what is the problem?" He kisses her again and pulls back. Again. He chuckles when she groans.

He brushes a piece of hair that he knocked loose behind her ear. "Are you sure about this? About….?" About what? About them? About sex? About Louis? About the man on the moon?

"I don't even know what you're asking but if you're asking if I'm sure about us in general the answer is yes. Absolutely, a thousand times, yes. If you're asking if I'm sure I want to have all of the amazing sex we're about to have if we could both stop asking so many damn questions—" His mouth covers hers and she leans into it. Sighing. Or moaning. Maybe that was him. Oh, who cares. She feels his hand caress her bare shoulder and then slip down to her zipper. He leaves her lips to kiss her neck. Her head rolls back against the wall and she takes a deep breath. Then another. Oh. She's panting. His lips are making his way down her neck to her chest to the top of her breasts. "Yes. God, yes." She finally moans her answer. He's stopped his kisses and is looking her in the eyes.

"Turn around." He commands. His voice is deep. Even deeper than normal. She kicks her shoes off haphazardly and does as she's told. "Your zipper is stuck again." He whispers against the back of her neck before dropping a kiss there. He kisses his way across her shoulders, down her back until he reaches her dress. His lips go back to her neck, leaving a long, wet kiss there, while his hands work her zipper down. She's got her hands pressed against the wall and her head leaning against it. She'd be on the floor if it weren't for this wall. She feels the top of her dress fall and then his hands urging the rest of the dress past her hips, to the floor. It finally pools around her feet. She hears a sharp intake of breath from Dan and then a laugh. "I should have known this would be as complicated as you are." He begins working on the long line of clasps on her pink bustier.

"Mmmm, is that a complaint?" She wants it to sound threatening, but it's breathy and playful instead.

"Never." He says as he undoes the last clasp and her bustier hits the floor too. She gasps. His hands roam over her exposed back. He turns her around to face him again. She sees his eyes take in what she's sure must be pure desire and want all over her face. Then they move lower. He takes her in appreciatively. He reaches a hand out to massage one of her breasts. His other hand wraps around her waist and pulls her closer. She feels his erection pushing against her thigh as his mouth covers hers.

"Dan." She gasps out and moves her hand to brush against him. He moans and drops his head against her shoulder. She quickly undoes his pants and pushes them off along with his boxers. She's not one to waste time. Especially in these situations. He kisses her shoulder and lets go of her breast so he can step back to get out of his pants and boxers. She licks her lips greedily as she takes in the view. If she'd known all of this was waiting for her she might have opened her mouth a little sooner. A lot sooner. He's on his knees, working on her garter and tights before she's even finished ogling him. He gets the hooks undone quickly and is rolling her tights down. Following them with his mouth, alternating legs. He throws them behind him once he's gotten them off completely and carelessly pushes her dress across the floor. And this is how she knows she's crazy about Dan Humphrey. She doesn't care that he just slid her very expensive, very pretty dress across his Brooklyn floors. Couldn't care less in fact because now his hands have found their way to her underwear and his mouth is leaving kisses along her stomach and hips. He reaches one of his hands out to rub against her heat. He stops kissing and rests his head against her hip. Breathing hard. She reaches her hands into his hair. "Don't stop. Please." This propels him into action and he goes back to stroking her through her underwear, kissing lower and lower.

"You're so wet. Jesus." He quickly yanks her underwear down and off her legs. He keeps one of her legs lifted and puts it over his shoulder. She tugs on his hair to catch her balance when he starts kissing down her center until he reaches her folds. She feels his tongue darting out, licking her, sliding over her clit. He moans against her and she swears she sees stars. Then his tongue is in her and her brain is gone. Her hips start moving to try to get more of his tongue. He reaches his hands out to grip them gently. He pulls back from her pussy with a smirk. Swallows hard and runs his tongue over his lips quickly. Oh, God. She loves it. Dan Humphrey is confident. "Just relax. I know what I'm doing." She whimpers when he starts moving his tongue in her again. She's breathless and feels herself start to uncoil when he moves his hand down so he can rub her clit with his thumb. She thrusts against his mouth.

"Oh….oh…ohhhh. I'm—I'm close, I'm close." It comes out of her mouth like a chant. He moans against her and she feels her legs shake. He starts working his tongue harder and grips her hip with his free hand to help keep her upright.

"Daaannnn…." She comes on a breathy moan. When she starts to come out of her haze he's still licking and kissing her. "Oh my God. Dan. I want you. I want you inside me now." She can barely breathe. He's on his feet and kissing her mouth almost instantly. She pulls his face closer when she tastes herself in his mouth. He lifts her up and she wraps her legs around him. He's staring at her now.

"You're beautiful. You're so beautiful." He kisses her sloppily. She grabs at him. One hand buried in his hair, the other running down his neck and chest. He pulls back again. She's never seen so much want. "You're the most beautiful…." She cuts him off with her mouth. Pushing her tongue in his mouth, exploring every inch. He breaks away roughly. "Condom-we need a condom."

"I—I don't have one. I'm on the pill. I've been tested since….since my last. Have you?" She really doesn't want anything between them.

"Yeah, but I think we still need a condom." He's not doing a good job at trying to locate a condom. Instead he's leaving kisses on her face, her mouth, just below her ear, her jaw. She's going crazy.

"Dan. Find a condom or don't. Just—just decide. I'm going crazy." She pants out. He groans and wraps his arms around her as he heads into his office. He knocks some books off of his desk and sits her on it carefully. She leans back and watches him open a drawer so hard it nearly comes flying out of the desk. He pulls a box out and grabs a condom out. He starts to tear it open when she reaches for it.

"Let me." She looks at him with hooded eyes as she rips it open. She motions for him to come closer. She wraps her hand around him. He shuts his eyes and bites his lip. She rolls the condom on him and moves her hands to his face, pulling him closer. "We're ready." He leans forward and captures her lips. It's a messy kiss and she wraps her legs around him, pulling his body closer and closer. She feels him at her entrance and breaks the kiss to watch him. She makes eye contact with him before she leans her face against his, looking down. They're both breathing so hard and she still can't get close enough. She presses her body closer and wraps her arms around his shoulders, moving a hand into his hair. She lets out a long moan as he pushes into her, finally. God, she's waited so long. He's working in and out of her. Her hips rising to meet his thrusts. She can't control her upper body and she starts to lean backwards. She feels his arms tighten around her. He leans forward and captures her nipple in his mouth. Sucking, licking, biting lightly. He does the same to the other one. Through her daze she can hear his breathing coming up shorter and shorter. He moves his thumb to her clit. She cries out. He groans and picks up his pace. She's arching and moaning and before she knows it she's yelling his name out. She's still riding the wave, clinging to him, when she hears him, feels him come on her name. He collapses into her and she throws a hand behind her to stabilize them. She's running her other over his back, in his hair, down his arm. She lifts his face and meets his eyes. They both let out a simultaneous, light giggle. He leans down to kiss her lips. "That was amazing, Dan." She breathes out with more wonder and appreciation than she was ready for.

He laughs against her mouth and kisses it again. He pulls back and stands upright. He pulls her closer and she throws her arms around his neck. He brushes some hair out of her face as he stares at her. He leans forward and places a warm, wet kiss on her lips. Oh, God. She sighs happily. "And that was only our first try, Waldorf." He says playfully as he wraps her legs tight around him and carries her to the bedroom. The sound of her giggles fill the loft.

**A/N 2: PSA: Always, always use protection. That is all! I will be back asap! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello! Have I mentioned that you guys are wonderful? Because you are! I appreciate all of the amazingly kind reviews as well as the follows and faves! Here is some fluff! Nothing is really moved along but we're getting there! Enjoy! Reviews are always welcome, lovelies. :)**

Blair feels the sunshine before she opens her eyes. She's about to say a quick, silent prayer that last night was real when she realizes she doesn't need to. She's naked. She registers someone beside her, an arm heavy on her hips. Most importantly, she feels some very uncomfortable sheets. She only knows one person who would find such a terrible thread count tolerable: Dan Humphrey.

Her eyes fly open in delight and there he is. He's sleeping on his stomach with his face towards her. Suddenly she loves those awful sheets. They're like one big thread that connects them, barely covering his backside and only coming up to her side. The best part is they're not covering their legs. No, she can see their legs. She's got one of hers thrown over his while her other one brushes against it. They're just so inextricably tangled. She's beaming. She must be. He's an adorable sleeper. His hair is all messy, his brow is almost knitted, and his mouth is barely parted. This is all so new to her. In the couple of times she's slept over here, he's always woken up first. She wore him out last night. She blushes at the memories. God. She wants him again. And again. And then definitely some more after that. Oh, he needs to wake up.

She starts to hum quietly. She just can't help it. Apparently she hums when she's blissed out. She trails her hand over his arm up to his shoulder then caresses his neck and continues on to stroke his jaw. His head moves at the contact, jostling a tendril into his eyes. Her breath catches. Oh my God. He's gorgeous. She moves the hair back lightly with her fingers. She gets greedy and moves her hand through his hair. He really starts to wake up. He hasn't opened his eyes yet but he moves a hand to capture the one she has in his hair. He gives it a squeeze and a smile forms on his face. She wants to cry. Finally, finally he opens his eyes.

"You're here." Are his first groggy words of the morning.

"I'm here." She replies back softly, soothingly. She thinks she knows how he feels.

"Mmmm, I was so afraid that I dreamt last night. I almost didn't want to open my eyes." She laughs with understanding.

"Yeah, me too. Then I realized that there's only one person I know who would sleep on such awful sheets, so I knew I was in the right place." She smirks at him playfully.

"See, I think you meant to insult me there but you also said you were in the right place so I don't even care what came before that." She lowers her eyes shyly and smiles as they rise to meet his again. He adjusts himself so that he's on his side, leaning against his hand. His free hand brushes her hair out of her face. Moments pass as they stare at each other. Then his eyes move to her lips and then lower and then he seems to realize that those horrible sheets aren't covering much. She sees him swallow hard as his eyes darken.

"That's a very astute observation, Mr. Humphrey." Oh, it comes out all breathy. He hasn't even touched her yet and her breathing is getting shallow. Her heart is fluttering wildly in her chest.

"I'm an observant man, Miss Waldorf." He's running his hand down her neck to her chest until he reaches her breasts. He delicately brushes over them before he cups one and runs his thumb lightly over her nipple. He moves closer and slides an arm under waist and pulls her closer still. Her eyes flutter closed. His lips ghost over her other breast and his lips find her nipple. A long moan escapes from her as she moves a hand through his hair. Then she feels him pull away. She opens her eyes in confusion. "Would you agree?" He lowers his hand to stroke her waist while his eyes look at her expectantly for an answer.

Oh, yes. "I would." He's already halfway to her mouth. She leans forward quickly to meet him and captures his lips. His hand travels back up to her breast as he pushes her back against the bed. Her tongue slips through his lips and she buries her hands in his hair. He lets out a deep groan and spreads her legs with his knee. It's all messy kisses and caressing and moans and heavy breathing and she can't keep track of who the noises are coming from. She bucks her hips against his and one of his hands flies down to her thigh. He grips it tightly and then lightly trails it until he reaches her center. He strokes over it before rubbing his thumb over her clit and pushing two fingers in. She jerks her mouth away from his roughly. "Ohhhhh..." Yeah. That one was definitely her. Jesus. She looks at him and his eyes are so filled with lust and he has a cocky little grin on his face. Oh. She misses his mouth. Why isn't he kissing her? Oh, that must have been out loud because his voice is all deep and throaty when he tells her to do something about it. She grabs his neck and pulls him back to her lips. She moans when they finally meet. And God. She can feel his dick rubbing against her thigh as he works. She can't stop her hips from meeting his hand as he pumps his fingers in and out of her. She's going over. She can't fight it. Doesn't want to. Oh God. Ohh God. She breaks away from his mouth for more air. Ohhh... "Daaaannnnn!" She cries out as her head sinks deeper into the pillow and her eyes shut tightly. He continues pumping his hand and rubbing her clit as she goes over and comes back down. She's gasping and her eyes are so heavy. She manages to keep her eyes open long enough to pull him back into focus. His hand is softly stroking her now and he's looking at her like he'll never get enough. Christ. "Dan. Inside. Now." Every word is said on a breath. She's still hazy and high. But God she wants him.

He takes in a sharp breath. "We're out of condoms." His hand still hasn't left her and he's laying soft, lazy kisses on every place he can find. He'd been waiting for her so long he hadn't needed to buy condoms apparently. Even in this moment the irony is not lost on her.

"Mmmm. No. No." She can't focus on anything. "We've covered this. I'm on the pill. Both tested. Both clean." She's moving against his hand again. She needs some kind of friction and relief. She knows he must need it too. She can feel it against her. His breath is so ragged.

"Yeah, yes, but I don't think-" She grabs his face and cuts him off with a deep kiss.

"Dan." She breaks away and looks him in the eye. "It's ok. We're good. And I want you so much." The deepest groan she's ever heard in her life comes from his lips. "So, so much. I need you." He moved his hand away from her and it's so wet it slips across her hip. She whimpers. "Dan?" He's adjusted himself so he's right at her entrance but he still looks unsure. "Dan. I swear. I'm about to scream. How do you have this much control? You're so hard." Her eyes are wild and wide. She rubs her hands down his arms and licks her lips. She wants to rub his dick but she thinks he might come just at the contact. Counter-productive.

"I just-I don't know if we should risk it." Is he really trying to be noble right now? Oh God. She wants him even more.

"Baby." She strokes his cheek lightly. "There's minimal risk. It's ok. I'm willing to take my chances. Whatever happens, happens." His eyes get wide and he starts to pull away. "No! No, no, no. Nothing's going to happen. I'm on the pill, Dan. This is what it's intended for!" He laughs a little and leans down to kiss her. Then he's in her. She feels his deep sigh against her lips. And it all feels like heaven. She loves having him in her with nothing between them. Loves it. She wraps her arms around his neck lazily. She can finally relax.

"You're so demanding. Even like this. Especially like this. I wouldn't want it any other way." He mumbles and leans his forehead against hers. He pushes in harder as he says, "I love it." Her heart skips several beats. "I love it." He says again, heavier this time, and kisses her lips haphazardly before moving his head to rest in between her neck and shoulder. He gasps and kisses her collarbone. She can feel his breath hot against her. "Blair….you feel amazing. God." She rolls her head and sighs. She reaches for him and pulls him to her lips hungrily.

"Mmmm….God. You feel good. Really good….Good." She can't think anymore. He gives her a lazy smile before he rests his head again and refocuses. It's all been so slow and soulful and rhythmic and he's leaning on his arm and that hand is in her hair and the other one is lazily massaging her breast, but then he hits a spot and her legs wrap around him tighter and her nails dig into his back. She lets out an almost primal moan. He starts pumping harder and rougher and harder and he's grunting and he is hitting that spot every time..."Dan. Dan. I'm close. I'm-I'm..." He goes to move his hand from her breast to her clit but she stops him. She shakes her head. Her eyes are closed and her brow is furrowed. She's already starting to swim. "Stay there." He moans when he feels her slide her own hand between them. She is screaming his name over and over again. Like he's her fucking Lord and Savior. As far as she's concerned, in this moment, he is. She feels his muscles tighten against her when her walls clench around him. It's not long before he's spilling into her and saying her name low and deep, over and over again. Oh. Oh, God. She could get used to this and still never really get used to this.

He lowers his weight onto her. "Jesus, Blair." He whispers into her neck, presses a wet, open kiss there. Her breath hitches and a soft sound falls from her lips. He raises his head and furrows his brow. "What?" He says quietly.

She reaches up to cup his face. Her voice is thick with sudden emotion. "I just-I had a dream once where you said that in a moment like this." She tugs on his hair so he'll come closer. She kisses him when he does.

"Mmmm." He moans into her mouth. He pulls away and then out of her. He kisses her cheek and pulls her into his side when he rolls over. "This isn't a dream, remember?" He says sleepily.

"I remember." She whispers. She leans up to look at him after a few minutes, but his eyes are already closed. She brushes some hair off of his face. She sighs contentedly and continues to stare at him. For the first time in a long time, Blair can't believe her good luck. She feels his arm tighten around her and she gasps in surprise. She thought he was already asleep. He opens one eye to look at her. She blushes and lowers her head.

"Man, you are so gone on Dan Humphrey." He teases as he runs a hand up and down her back. She laughs and lies down on his chest. Her head over his heart. She can hear it beating. She grips him a little tighter, swallows hard.

"Does that spook you?" She asks softly. She feels his light laughter and smiles. She thinks she knew the answer before she even asked.

"Uh, no." He laughs a little harder. "No. You making googly eyes at me while I sleep does not spook me. I—yeah, I think very little to do with your feelings for me or your attraction to me could spook me." She feels him lean down and press a kiss in her hair. "Your obvious love for 'Cocktail' does, however, spook me." She can't help the laugh that comes bubbling out of her. Damn. She places a kiss over his heart before she rises up to look him at him.

"I can explain that." She starts confidently.

"Oh, I'm sure you can. The question is if you should." He narrows his eyes at her playfully.

"It's a classic! Dorota is a member of the Tom Cruise Fan Club and that one just so happens to be her favorite. So, I've seen it a ….few….times." She finishes defensively.

"Oh, it's Dorota's favorite? Interesting. It seems to me that it might relate to a certain Upper East Side young lady's life a little more." He laughs when her eyes widen and her mouth falls open.

"Are you serious? What about me exactly screams that I want a broke bartender?" She winces as soon as the words come out of her mouth. He's still laughing. "Ok. Don't say it." He laughs harder. "This is completely different! You're a writer! With life goals and plans and talent!"

"Come here." He pulls her up his body and kisses her lips. When they break apart, she lies back down and rests her head in the crook of his neck. He chuckles softly as he plays with her hair.

"It's different." She huffs out against his neck.

"I know, I know. I do think there's a similar theme though. Hmm?" He pulls on her hair lightly.

"Daaaaaan." She says in exasperation.

"Blaaaaair." He mimics. She starts to lift herself off of him. He tightens his arm around her and laughs. "I'm sorry. I'll stop. You're so easy, and fun, to tease." She goes to move again, trying to remove his arm, but he cups her cheek and makes eye contact with her. "Stop it. I'm just flirting with you. You're so adorable when you're all feisty." She smiles shyly and leans down to kiss him. She sighs as she settles against him again.

"You may have a _slight_ point." She mumbles and kisses his neck.

"Oh my God. You really must have the biggest crush on me." She laughs and rolls her eyes.

"I liked you better when you were sleeping." She snuggles closer to him. He presses her closer against him. She loves that. He reciprocates every word and every move that she makes.

"Fair point. We should probably take a quick nap. You're insatiable. Not that I'm complaining, but I do need to recharge. We've got a lot to figure out and we have to be at the magazine this afternoon to set up for the staff meeting." He takes a deep breath.

"What do we have to figure out?" She furrows her brow. Everything seems pretty figured out to her.

"Well, Miss Plausible Deniability, are we going public, for real, with this? How are we going to tell Serena and Chuck? And Nate? Your parents? My sister?" She groans and shuts her eyes.

"Oh. Them." She says sullenly and pouts her lips. "Can't we just run away to Europe or something? Leave all of them behind us?" He laughs and kisses the top of her head.

"We could, but I don't think you want that." Incorrect. Nothing in the world sounds better right now. "Look, we'll take a nap, get ready to face the, well, what's going to be left of the day and sort it all out. All that really matters is that we're good, we're here. We're on the same page and happy. The rest is just details." She lets out what must be her fiftieth long, happy sigh since coming here last night.

"Ok." She closes her eyes. Details. She can handle details. She's got Dan and, he's right, that's all that really matters at the moment. They're on the same page. Her eyes fly open. What page are they on? "Dan?" She pulls back a little to look at him. His eyes are closed but he's still running a hand up and down her back absently.

"Hmmm?" He murmurs.

"You said we're on the same page. What page are you on?" She asks tentatively. She knows what page she wants them to be on. She thinks she even knows what page he wants them to be on, but she's thought that before about other people and they weren't even reading the same book. He clears his throat and opens his eyes to peer down at her. He studies her face before he slides down so he's on his side, face to face with her.

"I'm in this, Blair. Seriously, completely." Oh, thank God. She's not sure her heart could have taken it if he'd said anything else. It's only been hours, but everything with him is wonderfully different. She knew they had an intellectual, emotional connection. It's almost like they've been courting for years. And their sexual connection hasn't surprised her, but she didn't expect it to feel like it does. Not so soon. Everything just feels so right and she can't lose that feeling. He runs a hand through her hair, twists it around his finger when he reaches the end. "What page are you on?"

"The same exact page." She leans forward and kisses him. She starts to pull away when he reaches a hand to her face to pull her closer. He kisses her deeply, sighing against her mouth. He presses his lips against hers one last time, nuzzles his nose against hers.

"I really like this book so far. I-I hope it doesn't it end." He leans his forehead against hers. She reaches for his hand and intertwines it with hers.

"Me too." She smiles. It's almost an involuntary action. He smiles in return. More reciprocity. It's such a high for her. It's all so easy and peaceful. There's no worry or questions. It's an amazing experience to just….fall.

"Good. Now, sleep. My alarm's going to go off soon." He groans. "Too soon." He presses a lingering kiss to her forehead. She feels the morning, and night, catch up with her suddenly. She couldn't open her eyes again if she wanted to. The last thing she registers is Dan whispering, "Sweet dreams."

**A/N 2: The condom thing will not be coming up every chapter btw lol **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello! Thank you all again for everything! It truly means a lot. :) I can't keep these two away from one another...as evidenced by the smut in every chapter since Blair told Dan how she felt lol As far as the actual plot goes, I'll be making my way back into some canon stuff soon. **

Blair wakes up to the smell of food, alone. Dan must be making breakfast. Her heart melts. She stretches and sits up in bed. She looks at the clock. She still has an hour before she really needs to get out of here and go home to change. She slips out of bed and makes her way to Dan's closet. She's all smiles until she throws open the door. Oh. There's an awful lot of plaid. And vests. Vests that he seems to know he shouldn't have because he has them tucked away in the back. Or maybe it's just the plaid and flannel eating them alive. She scrunches up her face and closes the door quickly. She'll have to work on that. She turns toward his dresser. A t-shirt? Blair Waldorf isn't really a t-shirt kind of girl. Hmmm. She goes back to the closet. She knows he has a nice shirt in there somewhere.

He's leaning over the stove, stirring something when she comes out. She sneaks up behind him and wraps her arms around his chest. He leans back into her and lays a hand over one of hers. "Good afternoon." She says sweetly before pressing a kiss to his neck. "Thank you for letting me sleep."

"You're welcome. I figured if that alarm didn't wake you, you probably needed the rest." He stops messing with whatever he's cooking and turns in her arms. A smile spreads over his face as he takes her in. "Mmmm. Good afternoon, indeed." He says playfully and goes to nip at her neck. "Sex suits you, Waldorf." Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open. She can't help the surprised laugh that comes out of her.

"Humphrey!" She swats at him. "That was rather forward." She says a little breathlessly. Ok, that was more than she anticipated from him. Interesting. He eyes her up and down and smiles appreciatively. He bites his lip as he meets her eyes again. He slides his hands from her waist, past the sides of her breasts, her breath hitches when she feels his thumbs slide over her nipples through his shirt, his hands continue over her shoulders, he leaves one lingering on her neck while the other cradles the side of her head. He leans forward and kisses her lips tenderly. She tries to deepen it but he steps away, out of her arms. She pouts her lips.

"I have to feed you. Stop distracting me." He kisses her cheek before he returns his attention back to the stove.

She follows him and leans into his side. She slips an arm under his t-shirt to rub his back. She uses her other hand to lift lids and plates to see what he's making. "I don't think it's fair that I'm being held responsible for distracting you. All I did was wake up and come out here to greet you. I can't help how you respond to me." She turns her head away from her snooping to smile innocently and bat her lashes at him. He cuts his eyes toward her and lets out a bark of laughter.

"You woke up and came out here with your hair all messy and sexy and wearing one of my shirts. You knew exactly what you were doing. Do you think that I forgot who I was dealing with here?" He lightly bumps his hip against hers.

She gasps in feigned offense. "My hair is your fault, sir and—"

"Exactly." She barely hears him mutter as he gives her a quick glance. She smiles wickedly before continuing.

"_And _would you rather I came out here naked, Humphrey? Because that could be arranged." She turns toward him and wraps her arms around his waist. She smiles into his arm, her eyes glued to his reddening face.

"Honestly, I don't know which would be more distracting. You in that shirt is—is—uh—it's effective." He shakes his head and laughs. "Well, I mean I _know _which is more distracting." She presses a kiss to his arm and backs away slowly. His gaze stays on her as she starts undoing the buttons slowly. His eyes widen and he drops the spoon he had in his hand. He picks it back up quickly and returns to cooking. "Blair. Do you want to get fired from another internship? If you take that shirt off, we're not getting out of this loft anytime soon." He warns her seriously. She tilts her head to the side. Hmm. She's not sure she ever wants to leave this loft.

"Don't threaten me with love, baby." His head snaps around and he draws in a breath. She smiles coyly.

"And now you're quoting Billie Holiday. Jesus, Blair." He finally abandons the food completely and rushes toward her. He grips her waist and backs her into the island. His eyes darken and his mouth is hovering right over hers. Their eyes are locked on each other. She lets out a shuddering breath and he closes the small gap between their mouths. He lifts her onto the island and trails his hands down her thighs. He grips them and spreads them apart. He moves in between her legs and undoes those few remaining pesky buttons. She gasps into his mouth when he shoves the shirt down and off of her. He moves his hands all over her body. Touching everywhere, but not stopping anywhere. God. She opens her legs more and wraps them around him, tries to get closer to him, until her center is pressed up against him. His mouth is working against hers so skillfully and she just wants to freeze time. Her hands are massaging his hips, barely slipped inside his boxers. She pulls them out and goes to undo the zipper on his jeans—why is he already dressed and how did he get dressed without waking her up? Oh, who cares. Her hand yanks down the zipper just as a knock on the door comes crashing into their intimate moment. They break apart quickly, both breathless and senseless.

"Are you expecting company?" She asks in confusion. He shakes his head, puzzled. "Oh. I wonder who it is." He shrugs and runs a hand over his mouth. Oh. He shouldn't have done that.

"You're usually the only one who shows up at random, unannounced intervals." He teases as another slightly more insistent knock rings out.

She rolls her eyes. "I shouldn't say this after that little remark, but do we really care who's at the door?" She reaches for him and he instantly makes his way back into her arms, between her legs. He moans as his lips crash into hers. She's pushing her tongue into his mouth when a voice comes from the other side of the door.

"Miss Blair! Mister Dan! I know you in there! Open door." They stop kissing and stare at each other before dissolving into laughter. Dorota bangs on the door. "Open door now!"

"I guess Dorota busted us." Dan says sheepishly as he helps her put her—his—shirt back on.

"Well, she already knew how I feel about you." Another series of knocks sounds out. Blair growls in frustration. Not only did she kill the moment, but she's being terribly rude too. "Dorota! We're coming. Hold on!" Blair yells out in annoyance.

Dan laughs quietly as he buttons up her shirt. "So you're not going to go hide in the bathroom again?" She shoots him a glare until he kisses her forehead gently. She's smiling at him when he grabs her waist, "Come on, sweetheart. Let's face the music." 'Sweetheart.' Blair racks her brain trying to remember if anyone has ever called her that. Doubtful. Well, not as a term of endearment anyway. There goes her heart again. She's in a daze. He lifts her off the island and places her on the floor gently. He pecks her lips quickly before grabbing her hand and pulling her to the door. She stops him just before he opens the door and kisses him again. She wants to say thank you, but she doesn't have time to explain so a kiss will have to suffice for now.

He goes for the door again, but she pulls him back again. "Dan, before you open that door you should know that Dorota is probably the one person in my life who is going to grill you and genuinely be concerned about my well-being, my happiness. I mean she's the most likely to support us, she already does for the most part, but she's the one who's going to ask the right questions and not be completely shocked by all of this. She's ready to interrogate you. And—and well, she's the one that I want to support us. Just be advised." She finishes on a bounce of her heels. He smiles at her confidently.

"Consider me advised. I think Dorota and I are on the same page when it comes to you. I can handle this. I promise. It's the people who are less concerned about your happiness that I'm worried about." He says and his eyes wander. Oh, if anyone in her life costs her Dan…."Hey. It's ok. I can handle that too." He smiles again and squeezes her hand. She moves behind him so he can let Dorota in. She doesn't look happy.

"Finally." Dorota says as she huffs past them. She stops in the middle of the loft and gives them each a curt nod. "Miss Blair. Mister Dan. Nice of you to open door."

"I'm sorry, Dorota. We were—we were, uh, sleeping." Dan says unconvincingly. Blair rolls her eyes. Even Dorota looks embarrassed by his lying inabilities.

"You do not need lie, Mister Dan. I can put two two combined." Dorota points her finger between them. Dan looks at Blair in confusion. He doesn't speak Dorota yet. She's about to speak up and help when Dan moves toward Dorota.

"I'll be honest, Dorota. I have no idea what you're trying to say to me. So—" He pauses to look at Blair before continuing. "So, I'm just going to be direct. You're an intelligent, worldly woman. I'm sure you can guess what happened last night and why Blair is still here and dressed—or, well, not dressed—in my shirt. We are together. And it's serious, Dorota. I have entirely honorable intentions. I like her. I like her a lot. I more than like her. I want a relationship with her. I think you already know that she feels the same. All of that being said, it would mean so much, to both of us, if you supported us. You should also know that while we want your, and a few other people's, support, it doesn't really affect this. Not for me, anyway. I'm not giving up on Blair, or us, because of what other people think. Not ever. Anyway, you're the first person who knows about us. Well, knows about us for real. So, I guess I'm just asking you to keep an open mind and heart. I'll be good to her-for her. I swear." A long moment passes where both she and Dorota just stare at Dan in wonder. He seems to think his rambling isn't working so he continues. "Just give me a chance and—and time. You'll see. And call me Dan, please. The whole mister thing is really unnecessary and a little disconcerting." He finishes nervously. Still silence. He looks at Blair anxiously. She moves forward, beside him. She grabs his hand in both of hers and leans up to kiss his cheek. She moves one of her hands to adjust his hair lovingly. She's so proud and happy. He's such a good guy. And suddenly she's the kind of girl who appreciates a good guy. She doesn't know when that happened, but she knows why. She hears a sob come from Dorota's direction. Oh, good God. She sees Dan's eyes go wide and he turns to look at her.

"She's crying. Is—is this good?" He asks in disbelief.

"Yes." Blair says in exasperation. "Dorota loves romance. I think you've just made her life." She puts a hand on her hip. "Dorota, are you going to pull yourself together and let us know your thoughts? Or do we need to get you a bucket?"

"Oh, Miss Blair. I had no idea. I knew he better than Mister Chuck. Rottweiler across hall better than Mister Chuck, but I had no idea he like prince. Not prince who moon after you and can't say name, but prince from fairy tale. Or like unlikely suitor from romance comedy. Oh!" Suddenly she drops the bag she was holding and rushes forward and throws her arms around Dan. Nearly knocking Blair over in the process. Dan lets out a relieved, surprised laugh and throws his arms around her too. Blair is speechless. So much for her warnings about General Dorota. They don't seem to be breaking apart anytime soon so she goes to pick up the bag off the floor.

"I assume this is my bag that you've so carelessly discarded onto the floor, Dorota?" The only answer she gets is a sob. She rolls her eyes and goes to freshen up.

When she emerges, hair and make-up presentable and a clean dress on, she finds them setting the table, laughing. Ok. She clears her throat. They both turn to look at her. Dan smiles and continues with his task while Dorota scurries past her, heading back into the kitchen. She looks after Dorota in amusement and makes her way to Dan. "Dan? What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" He glances at her in confusion.

"Why is Dorota still here?" She clarifies.

"Oh. Well, she was going to leave but I made so much food. I mean we have enough waffles for an army. I asked her to stay and eat with us. I think I should get to know her better. She's obviously important to you and she cares about you so much. I want her to like me and feel good about our relationship. I mean she's Dorota. She won't be leaving your life anytime soon so, you know, I'm winning her over. Plus I like her. She's really funny." Blair's mouth falls open. He just….he can't be real.

"Dan." She moves closer to him and kisses him gently. "Thank you. No one's ever done this for….for either one of us before. I don't know if anyone's ever gotten it." She tells him honestly.

He laughs and brushes her hair off of her shoulder. "There's not much to get when you advise me that you want her support, Blair. Obviously, I'm going to go to work." He kisses her cheek and starts putting the food on the plates. He doesn't get it.

"I know that I told you, but you had obviously done more than enough. She was a puddle in your arms, Dan. I actually thought I would find you two still locked in an embrace when I came out here. This is above and beyond. This is—it's very sweet. And romantic." She looks behind her to make sure Dorota's occupied in the kitchen. She steps closer to Dan, voice low, "Just know that it's noted. You'll be rewarded."

He stops what he's doing and turns to look at her. "Do you—do you think that's why I did this? I mean not that I don't want or appreciate that but I didn't do this for a reward." He studies her and continues. "I did it because I care about you." He grabs her hand loosely. Her heart flutters.

"Oh, I know. That's exactly why you'll be rewarded." She says sweetly and presses a quick kiss to his lips. She takes a seat at the table and places her napkin in her lap. It occurs to her that she probably should have offered to help. Mostly because Dan is looking at her with wide, amused eyes. She clears her throat, before she looks at him innocently. "Do you need any help?"

He laughs and looks at her with such adoration that her heart skips a beat. "Uh, no. No, I think we're good. This time. You should probably save your energy." He moves to her and places a kiss on her head. She giggles in delight. "You're adorable." He squeezes her shoulders as he makes his way to the kitchen to help Dorota bring in the remaining items.

They speed through brunch. All of them for different reasons. Dan wants to get to their internship. He's determined that they're both going to maintain this one. Blair wants to get into Dan's pants. She might be addicted to him. She's also worried that Dorota is going to let her schemes out of the bag at any minute. Blair needs to be the one to tell Dan about those. She's sure he won't be upset, quite the opposite, but it does still need to be handled with care. Dorota is not careful. No, she's like a bull in a China shop. Blair had to kick her leg five times to cut her off. As if all of that weren't enough, she's had quite enough of Dorota staring at them with stars in her eyes. As for why Dorota wants to leave, well, Blair can't say. She thinks it has something to do with giving her the rest of the day off and…._plans_ with Vanya. The very thought makes Blair queasy.

Blair is ushering Dorota out the door when Dan comes up behind her and puts his hand on the small of her back. Blair flushes and smiles at the contact.

"Ohhhh. See. Romance alive and well in Brooklyn with Lowly Boy." Dorota says with tears welling up in her eyes….again. Good Lord. She may need medicine.

Dan laughs, "I—uh, I think it's Lonely Boy, Dorota." Dorota shrugs guiltily. "Hey, can we ask you a favor? Would you mind keeping us quiet until we tell everyone? It's a delicate situation and it'd be best if we told everyone….when we're ready."

Blair scoffs. "Do you really have to ask? Besides, Dorota is paid for her loyalty."

Dan rolls his eyes at her good naturedly before turning back to Dorota. "That may be, but, _Dorota_, I'm asking because this is important. I respect you and, really, I don't pay you for loyalty, so I'm asking for it." That shut Blair up.

"Of course, Dan. I keep quiet. Mister Chuck blow up Upper East Side when he hear. I don't want to be around when he lose mind." Blair and Dan both groan. "I keep secret no matter what. Miss Blair deserve true happiness without all drama and judges for as long as possible. You too, Dan." Dorota smiles and turns for the door.

"Thank you, Dorota." Blair moves forward to give her a hug.

"No need to thank. You know that." Dorota rubs Blair's shoulders before moving to hug Dan one last time. That's going to be the real problem. She can see right now Dorota's going to be fawning over him.

"Alright, Dorota. We'll see you later." Blair practically has to push her out the door. She turns back to Dan. She smiles and moves into his arms. "Hmmm, finally. Alone again." She kisses him forcefully. He tears away, already breathless.

"We need to leave, Blair." He kisses her and steps out of her arms. "But before we can leave, we need to figure out what we're doing regarding the big announcement." She sighs dramatically and goes to plop down, gracefully, on the sofa.

"Alright, Humphrey. Let's figure it out." He raises his eyebrows in surprise and makes his way over to her.

"That was easy." He says as he takes a seat beside her.

"Well, I don't see the point in delaying it. I don't want to delay it." She says confidently. "Besides, I suspect that figuring things out and talking things out is about to become a big part of my life, so I'm going to embrace it. And you've caught me in a very good mood." She concludes happily.

He smiles and leans over to kiss her, stays in her space. "I like that. Thank you." He brushes her hair back and searches her eyes.

"I like you." She says softly, smiling. Kisses his lips gently.

"Mmmm, ok." He leans back and claps his hands together. "There needs to be less of that if we're going to decide this in…" He checks the time on his cell phone quickly. His eyes get large and he shakes his head. "In 15 minutes. So do you think we should just go ahead and tell everyone? All at once?" She can't help her eyes from getting large.

"Dan. No. We cannot tell everyone all at once. This is a delicate situation, remember?" She adjusts herself, so she's facing him. He does the same.

"Ok. Individually? That's a lot of anger and judgment to take on in intervals. I'd rather rip the band aid off in one sitting." She does see the merit in that. A thought occurs to her.

"Why do we even have to tell anyone anything? Let's just not talk about it." She says merrily.

He chuckles and runs a hand over his face. "Blair. We have to tell people. Serena's your best friend. She's my ex and….and step-sister." They both cringe. "We can't just ignore things like that."

"Why? Where is it written that some grand announcement has to be made?" She gets up and crosses the room. She doesn't like this. Any of this. The minute they let this out is the minute they all think it's theirs to comment on. She knows how this will go. Chuck and Serena will use this as victim fuel for years. As if any of it has anything to do with them. "We're a couple. People will figure it out, or not, and deal with it as they wish." Dan eyes her suspiciously.

"Why do I get the feeling that you'd prefer for people to not figure it out?" He asks slowly, nervously.

"I would prefer that." She states as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

He draws in a sharp breath. "Ok. And you're not even a little bit sorry that you're ashamed of us, of _me._" Blair's heart almost stops.

"Wh—what? That's not what I said. At all!" She looks around the room in disbelief. As if the chair is going to confirm that that's not what she said.

"You said you'd prefer if no one found out about us." Dan says. Oh, he's right. She did say that. Damnit. That's not what she meant. Obviously. Only it's not so obvious, apparently.

"It seems this time you've jumped to conclusions. I don't blame you, though. I understand why you think that I'd feel that way." She crosses the room again to sit beside him. "I'm not ashamed of us or of you." She reaches for his hand. "I would prefer if no one found out because then their negativity couldn't ruin my first positive relationship in—in I don't know how long. Maybe it's the first period." She finishes sadly. She just wants things to stay as they are.

"Blair." He says tenderly. She looks over at him. "You heard what I told Dorota. No one's going to ruin this. They're just not. It doesn't matter what they say or do." He raises her hand to his mouth and kisses it. He grips her hand tight in his as he studies her. "I—I don't know. Do you really want to just not tell anyone for a while?" She nods her head. Yes. Good God. Yes.

"Just until the summer or something. I want us to have time for us to just be a normal couple with no crazy exes and no incestuous circle of friends. I'm not saying we should hide it. We should just not disclose it." He smiles indulgently.

"Ok. Ok. I don't hate that reasoning. I mean I've used that argument at one point or another. It'll be our not so secret secret?" He looks at her in confusion.

"Yes! Exactly. We'll do everything we usually do and I'll stay over here or you'll stay with me. We're not slowing down or doing anything differently. We're just not making the grand announcement….yet." Dan shrugs and nods.

"If you think that'll work with Gossip Girl and our intrusive friends, ok. I want you to be happy and secure. If this is what you need for that then I'm on board. Until the summer." He leans forward to kiss her lips. A new thought occurs to her somewhere between his tongue easing into her mouth and his hand running through her hair and trailing down her neck. She breaks away from him, gasping.

"No." Is all she can manage.

"Yeah, we really need to get going." He says regretfully as he stands up and holds his hand out for her. What? She makes a clicking noise and slaps his hand away.

"Not no to that. No to the other thing." She tells him in exasperation.

"I think you're under the impression that you just explained yourself, but you didn't." He settles back onto the sofa. "You've got five minutes and then I'm carrying you out of here and into a cab if I have to. We really are not messing up this internship. You're doing so well there." She opens her mouth to respond but she's taken aback by how much he cares about this internship….for her. Her mind was already made up, but that just sent her over the edge.

"That's what I mean. No. You're so supportive and encouraging. It's just who you are and it's just what I need-what I want." He's trying to smile but he's so confused that it's not really working. She laughs and moves closer to him. "We're telling everybody. We're having a party and we're telling everybody. There's not one thing about this, about us, that I don't want the world to know—" His mouth is on hers before she can even finish her speech. She doesn't mind. Except she does. She had some really good points. She pulls away but keeps her hands on him. "You make me feel happy and secure, Dan. Not the lack of judgment or nastiness or the sure lack of support we're bound to encounter from some people. It's you. So we're having a party as soon as Dorota and I can put it together. And they can all find out about it then and do whatever they wish from there." She laughs from the pure joy of not caring or worrying. "I don't care. I don't care what they think or what they do. I only care that I have you." She surges forward this time and captures his lips. He grabs her face and works his lips over hers. She's leaning back, holding onto his hands, bringing him with her. He breaks away from her, laughing, presumably at her determination to have him again, presses his lips to hers again quickly. He stares at her as they both try to catch their breath.

"You make me happy too. Maybe happier than I've ever been." He shakes his head in wonder. He cups her cheek and kisses her lips slowly and gently. She moans into it and tries to make it deeper. He breaks away again and rests his forehead against hers. "We really are going though." He kisses her cheek and stands again, hand outstretched before her. She huffs and places it in his.

"I thought we could celebrate, Humphrey." She pouts.

"We will. After you continue the current phase of your world domination plan." He smiles back at her as he leads her toward the door. Oh. She groans.

"Why would you say something like that to me when you're trying to get me out the door?" She asks as she tosses a hand up. She had no idea it would be so sexy to have a man support her like this. God. This could become a problem. Dan snorts and interrupts her train of thought. He stops to look at her.

"Waldorf, we have to go set up for like two hours and then we have the whole night ahead of us." He puts a hand on both sides of her face and kisses her lips.

"Mmmm, the whole night? Just you and me?" She smiles and kisses him back.

"The whole night. Just you and me." He affirms and steps away from her to get her purse and coat. He heads to the door and tilts his head to usher her over to him. She snarls, but goes to meet him. He's right. This internship is a really great opportunity that could lead to even more. He holds her jacket out for her to slip into and hands her her purse once she's in her jacket. She kisses him once more before they head out, hand in hand, into the cool, spring afternoon.

A few hours and hundreds of carefully placed mock ups later, they're finally back at Dan's loft. She tosses her purse on the island and takes a seat on a stool dramatically. She hears Dan laugh as he shuts the door and makes his way to her. He begins unbuttoning her coat and laying soft kisses along her jaw. She sighs and runs her hands through his hair. "Dan." He moans in response as now he's undone her coat enough to gain access to her neck. If Blair has learned anything about Dan in the past day it is that he is something of a neck devotee. He loves it. She loves that he loves it. "Dan, I'm hungry." He pulls away from her neck with a devilish glint in his eye. He smirks as he pushes her coat off of her.

"I am too, Waldorf. I'm trying to do something about it." He says and moves his hand to stroke her neck. He moans his appreciation and moves his mouth to the other side, leaving a trail of soft, warm kisses. "You have the most beautiful neck." She feels the words against her neck more than she hears them. She laughs and reluctantly pushes him away.

"Alright, Edward, that's enough until I've eaten." The comparison makes him scrunch his face and leave her to go into the kitchen. "I don't want to pass out in medias res. What are we going to order?" She props her elbows on the counter and looks at him expectantly.

"Two things, dear. One: please do not ever refer to me as a vampire, sparkly or otherwise, again." He's all serious until Blair tries to stifle her laugh and then he cracks. He shakes his head to regain his composure before continuing. "And two: we are not going to order anything. I am going to cook." He leans across the island and pecks her lips before turning into the kitchen to go through cabinets and the refrigerator for ingredients.

"You're cooking for me again? My goodness, I've hit the boyfriend jackpot this time." She says proudly. He stops looking through the cabinets and turns to smile at her.

"If you've hit the jackpot then I must have died and gone to heaven." She thinks he wanted to say something else, but he didn't so she lets it go. She gives him a quick smile before he returns to his task. "Oh and I like this whole boyfriend thing. I have to say it means more coming from you than anyone else." Her heart swells at that. Then he laughs mostly to himself. "I remember a time when you wouldn't even refer to me as Serena's boyfriend." He doesn't see it, but she flinches. She worries for a moment that she'll always be paying for her past with him. Or she'll always be reminded of it. And Serena. She pushes the thoughts aside because she knows he didn't mean it that way and, really, it's a sweet sentiment.

Moved by an impulse, Blair stands up from the barstool. She makes her way into the kitchen and wraps her arms around him from behind. She squeezes him tight, a small atonement for her past sins against him. He laughs softly and runs his hands over her arms. For a moment, she stays like that. Arms wrapped around him as tight as she can and her head resting against his back. She takes a breath and moves around to stand beside him. She smiles faintly.

"Hey, you ok?" He moves his hand to her cheek. She leans into his touch and nods.

"I'm better than ok, Dan." She says sincerely. He looks at her one last time and nods hesitantly.

"Alright." He claps his hands. "I'm going to get this going. You want to go kick back and relax?" Her eyes widen.

"Wha—I can help! I can help you cook." She states too cheerily. Dan immediately snaps his head around, his eyes now wide. "I can!" She doesn't want him to think she's a useless brat. "It doesn't always have to be you taking care of me. I want this to be balanced. I—I want to take care of you too."

He stops what he's doing completely this time and turns to face her. "Oh, Blair." He holds her head and kisses her cheek, her lips. "This is only the first day, sweetheart. I'm sure there will be plenty of times when you'll take care of me. You being here is—it's more than enough. It's more than I ever hoped for and I'm really just trying to impress you. And I want to show you how it can be—how it will be. Plus, I mean, we do have to eat." He finishes on a smile. He leans in to kiss her lips again.

"I know. I know all of that." She sighs deeply. "I just don't want you to think that I don't care. I don't know. You've said all of these amazing things, made me breakfast, kissed me in a way that I didn't know was possible, got me to work despite my best efforts to blow that up, the sex is—I've never felt so wanted, you called me sweetheart—twice—, that's twice more than anyone ever has, I won't even go into the Dorota stuff because _I'll_ probably cry, you're making me dinner, and, as if all of that weren't enough, now you're talking me off the ledge. And what have I done? I'm not someone who deserves all of this. I did bad things to you. I—" His head shake and his voice cut her off.

"Blair." He says it so sweetly. "I think you're forgetting that all of this is happening because of _you_. You came to me with your heart in your hands." He steps even closer and searches her eyes. "I know you. I know your history. I know how difficult it was for you to come to me. I know how difficult it is for you to open up and to just trust. I'm blown away that you're letting me in. That you're letting me see this side of you. I like you. I'm—I like you a lot, Blair. I know that you care. I do." He kisses her lips gently and takes her hands in his. "And the sweetheart thing….You have a good heart, it just has a few scars. I've known that for a long time. I remember the girl I found in that hallway four years ago. You thinking you don't deserve love or respect or—or affection, Christ….those days are over. That's not how it works. Not with me. Not with us." He leans forward and kisses her passionately. He almost knocks her over with the force of his kiss, of his emotion. He breaks away from her and she doesn't know how long it's been. All she knows is that she's never been so thoroughly kissed. She's never felt someone's words backed up by the physical expression. And those words….She can't breathe or think. "It's the first day and it's not a contest. Just relax and let it be." He wraps his arms around her tight, so tight.

"Ok." She says trying to convince herself. "Ok. It's not a contest."

He laughs and pulls back to look at her. "It is not a contest. That's not what relationships are. I—" He lowers his head and shakes it slightly. Her breath hitches when he looks at her again. "I don't think you get that yet, but you will." He smiles and kisses her sweetly. She nods and returns his smile. Somehow she just knows that he's right. "Now, if you want to help, how about getting us some wine and putting on a record?" He kisses her head and goes back to work.

"Wine? I was beginning to think this was a dry loft." She teases as she pulls out two wine glasses and starts working on the bottle he pulled from a cabinet. "I guess you only bring this out for the sure things." She hears his familiar laugh and smiles to herself.

"And that is exactly why you have never been offered wine before. I just knew I'd hear a wise crack about wine and seduction." He says defensively.

"Mmmhmm. Whatever you say, Humphrey." She sets his glass of wine in front of him and kisses his cheek before she makes her way into the living room to pick out a record.

When they finish a dinner filled with wine, stolen kisses, and flirting, Blair goes to change and get ready for bed while Dan goes into the living room to read. It's so domestic and normal that Blair can't believe that this is her life. She loves it. She's about to change into her silk negligee that Dorota packed for her when she decides against it. Instead, Blair goes to Dan's closet and pulls out a flannel shirt she remembers from the first time they realized they shared something besides a concern for a certain flighty blonde. She smiles as she slips it on and buttons up a few of the middle buttons, even though she knows buttoning one button is an exercise in futility. As she makes her way to Dan, on the sofa, she takes a moment to just stop and appreciate him. He's undeniably sexy. His hair is falling in his eyes and he's so focused on the words he's taking in. Finally, she starts moving toward him again. He smiles when he sees her approaching and sets his book aside. She stops in front of him, knees brushing. He leans forward and places his hands on the back of her thighs, rubs up and down slowly.

"You're always gorgeous, always, but this just about stopped my heart." He smiles up at her appreciatively. She shrugs nonchalantly. "I can't help but notice that you've downgraded from earlier today." He chuckles as he tugs on the shirt.

She clears her throat, suddenly it's feeling tight. "Yeah. I guess that shirt just didn't feel right. It—It didn't feel like you. I like this one better." She says as she meets his gaze. She sees his breath hitch.

"Blair…." He says softly and leans his head against her stomach. She runs her hands through his hair tenderly. He grips her thighs tighter. Blair's own breath hitches when he presses a careful kiss to her stomach. He moves his hands from her thighs to the buttons on her shirt. He undoes them and spreads it open. He takes her in and then meets her eyes with a reverent look, his hands coming to rest on her bottom. He kisses her stomach again, longer, her skin exposed this time. Her eyes close at the contact. He leans a little lower and presses a kiss to her center. She lets her head roll back as a moan slips through.

"Dan." She says with as much emotion as anyone's probably ever said another person's name. He leans back into the sofa and keeps his grip on her, pulling her into his lap so she's straddling him. She leans forward and gently captures his lips between hers. His hands roam up her body until he finds her breasts. She gasps into his mouth as he starts kneading them, his thumbs circling her nipples. She can feel herself getting wetter with each touch of his hand and stroke of his tongue. She pulls herself away from his mouth and leans her forehead against his. "I don't know if you know the effect you have on me. It's crazy. I'm already so wet." She kisses the corner of his mouth and takes one of his hands from her breasts. She guides it to her pussy and rises on her knees a little so he can stroke her. She moans loudly when he does. She reaches down and pulls his hand away from her. "See?" She says breathlessly.

He doesn't say a word, just looks at her with dark, lust filled eyes. His hips twitch up against her. She's practically purring when he licks the fingers that were just stroking her. She captures his lips and slips her tongue in his mouth to taste her on him. She breaks away slowly and starts to lift his shirt. He leans forward and raises his arms so she can pull it off. Blair can't stop her hands from spreading over his chest. She leaves a trail of wet kisses across it. She reaches between them to release him from his pants. She undoes his pants quickly and leans up again so they can move them and his boxers down his thighs. She smiles slowly, shyly when she sees him so hard, so ready for her. She rushes forward to kiss him again and runs a hand lightly up the length of his shaft. "I was hard the minute I saw you walking to me in my shirt." He breaks away from her lips to confess. His hands are roaming all over her again.

"Baby." She whispers, head leaning against his. She moves forward and lowers herself onto him. They both moan when he fills her. His hands fly to her hips to help her set the pace. He kisses her lips as she starts to move. She rises up and then slides back down, slowly, so slowly. There's no need to rush. They stay at this pace for as long as they can, trying to stay connected for as long as possible. Their lips brush every time she takes him in again. Eventually they both start to lose control. Dan grips her hips tighter and quickens her movements. She starts to ride him harder, gripping his shoulders. He runs a hand from her hip to her clit. He circles it and applies pressure. Blair's head jerks back as his skilled movements start to take hold. Moans and screams and names flying from both of their mouths, until they finally go over, Dan right after Blair. He pulls her closer to him, her head resting between his neck and shoulder, her new favorite place. His hands are running up and down her back, through her hair, brushing sweaty pieces of hair from her face, trying to steady both of them. She's done. She's emotionally and physically drained. All she can do is stay cuddled close to him.

"Let's go to bed." He whispers to her. She nods her head and he lifts her off of him so he can stand to take his pants off all the way. She watches in admiration. His hair is a mess from her fingers raking through it. His skin is glistening with sweat. His eyes are still wide and dark. He really is beautiful. She reaches her arms up for him and he leans forward so she can wrap them around his neck as his arms wrap around her body so he can scoop her up. She kisses his neck as he carries her to his room. He gently places her in his bed with a kiss. "Do you want to leave the shirt on?" He asks as he sits next to her and plays with the edges.

"No." She tells him quietly. She wants to feel his skin on her skin. She sits up and he leans over to give her a lazy kiss. His hands go up to push his shirt over her shoulders and down her arms, his eyes trained on her in reverence as he does. She finishes taking it off and lies back down. Dan lies next to her and she's back in his arms instantly, curled against him, his arms wrapped around her. He's whispering words of admiration into her hair and dropping kisses there. She gets the best night of sleep in her life, so far, that night.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello, hello! I'm so sorry this update took so long. School and life got in the way. There's more to this particular day or chapter that I'll be posting within the week but this seemed like a good natural break. I have a plan that does include angst but I have to get there lol it is coming though. I hope you guys enjoy this. Oh and GG's over after tonight! Woooot! **

Blair throws the doors open and steps into the sunlight. She smiles widely as that feeling of summer freedom floods her. She just aced her last final and her plans for the party tomorrow night are practically finalized. She will need to focus on perfecting everything today and then, of course, there is the actual party but she has it all under control. She does. All that stands before her for the foreseeable future are continuing her internship and Dan Humphrey. She tosses her hair over her shoulder and puts her sunglasses on as she struts down the street. She's only made it a couple of blocks when her phone ringing startles her out of her merry reverie. Her smile widens when she sees it's Dan.

"Patience is a virtue you no longer seem to possess, Humphrey." She greets teasingly. His chuckle makes her bite her lip.

"Well, you only have yourself to blame for that." Her mind flashes to this morning and the early morning….wake up she gave him. The fact that he still isn't speaking lets her know he's thinking of the same thing. He clears his throat. "Anyway, I knew you'd be finished with your final by now and I'm starving. I thought I'd check in with you before I go grab something."

"Oh, I'm on my way home to do the final arrangements and various last minute details for tomorrow night. This party has to be perfect, Dan." She can't keep the worry out of her voice. She knows this was, ultimately, her decision, but the week to consider everything that could go wrong has done her no favors.

"And it will be, Blair. Just remember that you can't control other people's actions or reactions. That's the motto here." She grimaces. That is no motto she will ever subscribe to. He laughs. He knows that goes against everything she believes in. "I know you don't like that idea, but work on it, hmmm? I don't want you to stress about this or the fallout." She stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk.

"The fallout?!" She says loudly enough to cause people to stare and now they're making a big show of going around her. People are so rude. She's having a moment here.

"Wha—Blair. We knew this going into the party. We knew no matter how we told people there would be a fallout and that's fine. We discussed this." He says confidently. She's traces a crack in the sidewalk with her shoe forlornly. Why does there have to be a fallout? She's so happy. She just wants to have that and bask in it. Instead she gets a fallout. "Right, Blair? That's fine, right?" Dan's nervous voice cuts into her pouting. She scowls at a pushy old lady and starts to move again.

"Yes. Yes, of course. That's fine." She sighs and rolls her eyes. She can practically hear his mind racing through the phone. "It is, Dan. It's better than fine. I've got you and we'll deal with the fallout and—and I'll be ok with not contr—I shouldn't lie to you." She finishes straight forwardly. He laughs softly.

"Baby steps." She can picture his soft, relaxed smile. It makes her lips form into one too. "I want to hang out with you so I'm going to bring the food to you, ok?" She has to bite her lip to stop her recently acquired happy hum from slipping out.

"That sounds good, Humphrey." She says quietly.

"I'll see you soon, Waldorf." She drops her phone in her purse and walks a little faster, anticipation making its way back into her veins.

Dorota and Blair have already set up camp in the living room by the time Dan gets there. His presence breaks her focus and her eyes lock with his as he approaches her. She tilts her head back and closes her eyes as she waits for his lips to press against hers. "Mmm. Hi." She smiles and her eyes flutter back open.

"Hi." He smiles at her and sits down next to her. He runs a hand over her back. "I missed you." He kisses her cheek.

"You just saw me this morning." She reminds him playfully. She smiles ruefully when she sees his eyes widen and his smile settle into a confident, satisfied smirk.

"Uh, well, I'm not sure that counts." She furrows her brow. _That_ most certainly counted. "You weren't there for long and you were—busy." He's blushing now and it's adorable. "I just wanted more—more time with you that is. I don't want you to think I'm being ungrateful or greedy in that other department." He's fallen into his rambling spiral. She slides her hand into his and squeezes it.

"That's sweet, Dan." She kisses him gently. "And, just to put your mind at ease, it'd be impossible for anyone to mistake you for ungrateful based on your reaction this morning." She smirks at him and quirks her eyebrow. He leans forward and captures her lower lip. His tongue is trailing it and she's gripping him tighter. She's missed him too. It'd been a crazy week with finals and party planning so they hadn't seen each other very much. They hadn't seen each other at all the day before. If she hadn't taken initiative and broken into the loft this morning it would have been nearly two days since she'd seen him. A cough from the other side of the room makes them part and look in that direction. Oh, she'd forgotten that Dorota was there. Blair blushes and Dan's eyes bug out as he scoots away from Blair like she's got the Plague.

"Dorota, hi. I—I didn't realize you were in here. I—we—never would have had that conversation or—or that kiss if I'd known that." Dan looks at Blair to scowl at her. She tries not to laugh. She's rubbing off on him too. He rolls his eyes and turns back to Dorota. "I'm sorry."

"Is ok, Dan. I hear—and see—much worse when Miss Blair with Mister Chuck." Blair winces and Dan groans. Dorota shrugs and goes back to adjusting one of the charts for the party. Dan looks at her again and shakes his head in disbelief.

"I forgot she was here!" Blair says defensively. "You distracted me, Humphrey."

He laughs like he can't help himself. "I should have known it would be my fault." She leans over to kiss his cheek. He turns to smile at her when she pulls back. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Dorota making a catastrophic arrangement mistake on a party board. She jumps up quickly.

"Dorota. No. Do I really _have_ to tell you not to turn the foyer into a botanical garden?" She snatches the photo out of her hand and is trying to decide where to place the arrangement, surveying the boards and charts.

"Blair. Seriously?" She hears Dan ask behind her. She waves him off.

"Yes, seriously. That's a ridiculous amount of flowers to have in an entrance to a party. I know that Brooklyn's all about nature and ironic decadence but I'm putting my foot down." Oh. The sitting room. Yes, the sitting room was looking a little sparse. She places the picture on the board with a satisfied push of the tack. She grabs the next picture that needs to be placed.

"Do you really think I care about strategic flower placing? What do you think in this room might upset me?" She turns to see his head is tilted and his eyes are narrowed. She looks around the room. There might be an excess of charts and boards and graphs and pictures which feature excesses of party planning.

"Ok. I know it seems like there's a lot going on in here—" Her eyes widen when Dan cuts her off.

"Uh, that's because there is a lot going on in here, Blair." He tells her as if she isn't actually aware of it.

"Ok! I know that. I know you don't like the finer things in life—do not roll your eyes!" She crumples up the picture and throws it at him. He dodges it and looks back at her in amused shock. That may have been immature, but he provoked her. "I'm not apologizing. You deserved that. This party is important. I am trying to make it just right. Do you have any idea how difficult that is? I have to impress your family, our friends, and half of the Upper East Side. Do you understand the sheer impossibility of that?" She throws her hands up and starts to pace. "And do you know why I'm taking on this doomed venture? It's you. I want to tell everyone in our lives that I am with you. I want to tell everyone in our lives that I am happy with you. Only I must be crazy because instead of thanking me for all of my hard work—during finals week—and trying to help me and being supportive you are taking issue with it." She knocks the beverage board off of its stand and storms out of the room. Oh, she hopes all of the pictures and notecards stayed in place.

She's just sat down on the bottom step of the staircase to sulk when Dan sits beside her.

"Hey." He reaches for her hand but she snatches it away. Old habits and all that. "Come on. We're past that phase." She gives him a sideways glance and softens when she sees his hand is extended out to her, waiting for her. She places hers in his. "Thank you." He still hasn't said anything so she turns to look at him again. He's staring at their hands. She's staring at him now. He moves his eyes from their hands to her face. He smiles when his eyes meet hers. "You're right." Her mouth falls open and she's about to make a joke when he starts speaking again. "And I know that's shocking to hear from me and there's a flirtatious wise crack to be made, but let me finish." He waits for her to nod before he continues. "I should be thanking you and helping you and supporting you. I should be doing that even when you're not throwing amazing parties to announce that we're a couple." He tugs her hand and pulls her a little closer. He smiles sweetly and kisses her lips.

"Thank you." She casts her eyes up to his and smiles.

"You're welcome." His smile falters a little and he looks back to their hands. "I don't think that was about the party though. Well, not about the party planning and my thoughts about it. Am I right?" He looks at her and cocks his head to the side. She sighs deeply and sits up a little straighter. Busted. She looks away from him to stare at the wall in front of them.

"Have I become so transparent, Humphrey?" She cuts her eyes to the side to gauge his reaction. He's smiling at her like he gets her.

"To me? Yes." He laughs lightly. "That's a good thing though. I think so anyway." He brushes her hair off her shoulder and plays with the ends before refocusing on her face. She can't help but agree that having him understand her is a good thing. It's scary, but it's also comforting. "You're really worried about everyone's reactions aren't you?" He asks softly. She turns her head to glance at him before turning back to the wall again.

"I am. I—I just know that no one is going to be happy about this. It's disheartening." His hold on her hand tightens slightly. "I know why they won't be happy and I understand that, I do, but Serena is still my best friend and Chuck is still someone I care about. It's probably selfish but I want them to be happy for me. If they can't be happy for me, for us, then I just want them to not wallow in our happiness. And, contrary to popular belief, I am not always vindictive and spiteful. I don't want to hurt them." She shrugs. It's dawning on her that this is all really out of her control.

"You have a good heart, Blair. I figured that at the root of all of this was your desire to protect the people you love. I get it. The thing is that you and Chuck have been broken up for awhile now and so have Serena and I. They both moved on and we accepted that. I think we have to allow for a shock period, but I absolutely think they'll come around. They're not entirely unreasonable…." Blair turns to look at him with wide eyes. Has he forgotten everything he knows about Chuck Bass? "Ok, _Serena _isn't entirely unreasonable. Chuck has far less right to be upset than Serena. If he wants to whine about us forever so be it. If this is what you want and if this is what makes you happy, don't let anyone stand in the way or make you feel bad about it. You—we—haven't done anything wrong." He's right. She knows he's right, but it really doesn't make it any easier. She just has to choose to accept it and move on. She turns her body so that she's facing him.

"Dan, this is what I want. You make me so happy." She searches his face and leans forward to kiss him. He leans into her and her hand moves to stroke his jaw lightly. She pulls back and rests her forehead against his briefly. "Don't distract me again. I still have the final touches to perfect." She smiles and goes to stand up so she can rejoin Dorota in the living room. Dan's hand grabs her arm and pulls her back.

"Not so fast." She gives him a puzzled look. He smirks. "I know that you're so focused on planning this party because it's the one thing you can control right now. You can't control our friends and family, but you _can_ control this party." Damnit. Maybe she doesn't like this whole understanding thing.

She rolls her eyes. "What's your point, Dr. Drew?" He chuckles.

"My point is that that's not good either." He tells her sincerely.

"That's your opinion. Besides, this is temporary. The party is tomorrow night." Oh, God. Tomorrow night. She needs to get back to work.

"Look at you. Your face just like contorted and your mind is a million miles away. You've got to relax. You're going to be so exhausted and stressed that you're not even going to enjoy the party." Her head snaps around quickly. His eyes get wide and he pulls his head back. She takes a deep breath. Sometimes it becomes very apparent that they are indeed from different worlds.

"Dan. This is not an enjoyment party. Very few parties are for enjoyment." He narrows his eyes and tilts his head like he's confused about something. Has he not learned anything from having Lily as his step-mother? She sighs exasperatedly. "Parties are thrown to rub people's faces in your success, to show off your opulence, to prove a point, to make someone jealous, etcetera. Do you see? Parties are not for enjoyment. And this one is certainly no exception." She finishes seriously. Dan groans and drops his head into his hands.

"This is not real life." He mutters, head still in hands.

"It is." She smiles brightly when he finally looks at her again.

"No, trust me, it's not." He lets out a breath and looks at her. "This is crazy. The party is more than planned, you and Dorota have worked hard to make sure it's going to be perfect, everyone we care about—and don't care about based on the amount of names I didn't recognize on the guest board—is going to be there, and the point of _this_ party is to share some really good news. Ok, I mean it's weird news that's going to piss some people off, but it is good news." He stands up and steps off the stairs. He stands in front of her and shoves his hands in his pockets. "We're enjoying it." He leans forward slightly to emphasize his point. "_You're_ enjoying it."

"I'd love to enjoy the party, but it's not that simple. Take away that we're telling everyone….there are other factors that I think we may have glossed over in our afterglow." She frowns. "Your mom, _Jenny's_ mom, is going to be there."

"She is…." Dan nods and gives a confused smile. "You told me to invite her."

Blair stands and walks across the foyer. "I know I did. I just—" She looks around the room helplessly. "I didn't think it through or something. I don't know. I guess it doesn't really matter." She throws her hands up and lets out a short laugh. "Let's be honest, there's never a good time to tell the mother of the girl you bullied and then banished from a city that you're dating her son….whom you also didn't exactly make life easy for." She's been fidgeting her hands absentmindedly. She looks down at them and tries to still them.

"I mean that's all true." She looks at Dan with wide, annoyed eyes. She knows that's all true. That's why she said it. She wasn't looking for confirmation. "Well, it is. However, it's also important to note that Jenny wasn't always an innocent and I gave as good as I got….sometimes." He shrugs one shoulder and laughs. "As far as the Jenny and Chuck situation goes, I don't think I have to tell you how I feel about that and I hope that that's a topic we can discuss in the near future because she is my little sister and I love her. Something needs to change between you two." Blair's heart jumps to her throat. Time and perspective have shown her that she reacted immaturely and rashly in that situation. And, really, Dan was right. It started and ended with Chuck. She'll build any bridge that she needs to, but Jenny probably won't feel the same. It's just never going to end. Her mind is starting to race when Dan starts speaking again and lays a hand on her shoulder. "That's a discussion for another time though. I have no illusions about who you are and are not, good and bad. That's the whole point. I know you and I like you. My mom knows a lot about you, good and bad. She also knows a lot about Jenny, good and bad. Most importantly, though, my mom knows that I like you." He spoke with his mom about her. Her mind starts racing in the other direction. He's told his mom that he likes her. He's told his mom good things about her. She tries and fails to stop the small, happy smile that's forming on her face. He laughs and rolls his eyes seeing that she's one more admission away from squealing in delight. He's shy and it's so adorable and not doing a thing to quell the wave of joy rolling through her. "I have a good relationship with my mom and I told her all about how I liked you and thought you might like me, but I was waiting you out. I don't know. And you should probably know that she's definitely already figured out that we're together. I actually had to stop talking to her after I invited her to the party because it seemed like she was trying to get me to crack. She's my mom. She just knows things. It's weird." His eyes get wide and he takes a breath. He realizes that he's been rambling. She loves that moment when he realizes that. It's like you can see his mind working and processing everything he's just said and then reorganizing his thoughts and intent. He moves closer to her and wraps his arms around her. She wraps her arms around him too. "Anyway, she loves me and if I like you, she's going to take the time to get to know you for herself. She thought our whole story was adorable too. Everytime I called her she mostly wanted to talk about you and if anything new had happened. She knows you make me happy and how much I just—I don't even know—enjoy you?" He shakes his head and smiles. "She also, oddly enough, trusts me and my judgment." He places a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Don't worry about my mom." That is a tall order. Until she gets to spend time with Allison herself and make a good impression, she's going to worry. This does make the idea of socializing with her easier though. Dan runs a finger under her jawline and lifts her face. He leans down to kiss her. Her mouth opens under his and he pulls her closer to him. She pouts her lips when he breaks away. She wasn't finished yet. She opens her eyes to see he has a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Plus you're not Lily's daughter. That's a definite pro." She steps back to hit his arm.

"Dan. It's too soon for those kinds of jokes." She eyes him playfully. He presses his lips to hers again quickly.

"Ok, so I'm thinking we go eat the food I picked up because I am still starving and then we wrap up this party business in a reasonable amount of time so that we can enjoy the rest of the day….in a low key manner so as not to be caught by Gossip Girl before tomorrow night. Deal?" He holds his hand out in front of her. She eyes him and then smiles slowly.

"Deal." She puts her hand in his and they shake on it. She giggles as he tugs her hand to pull her closer and presses a sweet kiss to her lips.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and faves and follows! You guys are the best! I love writing these two and you guys make it even better! The next couple of chapters are going to go back into the canon w/ more Dair influence. I just want to note that in this universe, Dan is not GG lol that's a mess that I'm not interested in getting into in this story. Happy holidays to all and I will be back asap! **

Blair doesn't know how she ended up here. If someone were to ask, she would never be able to tell them. She doesn't understand it herself, but here she is. Sitting at a tiny table in some kind of hipster bar in Brooklyn with Dan Humphrey, _her boyfriend_, and Eric. Eric started out in the middle, thinking he was acting as the common denominator but, at some point in the night, Dan took over the seat and immediately placed a hand on her leg under the table. She's placed hers over his as discreetly as possible a few times. She misses the privacy of their residences that afford them the luxury of near constant touching and kissing. As far as Eric knows, Blair's only here because Dan thought she needed to get away from party planning. That's not really a lie, but she's really here because she's Dan's girlfriend and they want to spend time together. Eric thinks Blair is the tag along, but he's the tag along. They needed a neutral party to give their casual outing the guise of friendship to the rest of the world.

She's on her third Grey Goose and cranberry, which she's not happy about. She nearly got them kicked out when she demanded to see the owner because they didn't have Van Gogh. It's not her fault the owner of this establishment doesn't understand quality alcohol. Eric and Dan are lost in conversation about a new band they both like, but differ on what they think their possible influences are. She's trying to stay focused and participate, but her mind is abuzz with….everything. The party. Chuck and Serena. Her parents. Her dad is actually flying in for the weekend. She still doesn't know how she managed that one. Then there's Dan's parents. She thinks Rufus will be understanding, possibly even happy for them, and Dan says Allison will at least give her a chance. Jenny's not coming to the party for obvious reasons. Dan's going to talk to her about it later. London should probably be on high alert…..This is ludicrous. It's like they have to tell people some kind of horrible, earth shattering news. They're just dating, for crying out loud. Maybe she's overreacting. She lets out a deep sigh that causes Dan and Eric to stop talking and look at her. She feels Dan's hand squeeze her knee. She adjusts uncomfortably in her chair as they continue to stare at her.

They look amused. "Are you—are you ok? Is something in here bothering you, Blair?" Dan teases. She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms.

"No, Humphrey. If I can handle dating Brooklyn's prodigal son, then I can handle sitting in a bar in Brooklyn." She huffs out. She's worried about them and he's cracking jokes. She hears Eric gasp across the table. Dan's eyes become animated and wide as they dart between her and Eric. Oh. Uh oh.

"I…." She starts at the same time she hears Dan utter a half-hearted "We…." Then they all just sit in silence, staring at eachother. Waiting for someone to say something, anything.

Eric finally breaks the silence. "I don't believe it. You guys finally woke up and got together and didn't even tell me? I had to listen to Dan's whining about how you're so much more than everyone knows and you'll never want him or never admit it, which I did think was true—"

"Gee, thanks, Eric." Dan says in a hushed sarcastic voice. Blair's trying not to laugh. The cheap vodka is ruining her poker face.

"And you!" Eric turns his attention to Blair. Her lips form into a tight line and she narrows her eyes at him, daring him to continue. Eric doesn't seem to notice or care. "I don't know what you're laughing about, Blair. I had to listen to you too! Obsessing over Serena and being _completely_ clueless and trying to recruit me for your crazy scheme. You were probably worse than Dan except that I had to listen to Dan way more." He shakes his head to shake off the memories. Ok, maybe Dan missed the part about scheming. "How long have you been together? Did the prince actually work?" He's looking between them for answers but he's unwittingly caused a shift in the dynamic at the tiny table. Dan's hand has slipped off of her leg and he's staring at her in confusion. Her heart is slamming against her chest. When she doesn't meet his eyes, he clears his throat and turns to Eric.

"What are you talking about? What scheme? Did Louis _work_? What the hell does that even mean?" This is not the jocular reaction she'd been anticipating from Dan. He sounds mad and confused, maybe a little disappointed? Oh, God. The room starts to spin a little. She's not sure if it's the cheap vodka or fear. It's probably both. She slams her eyes shut and tries to regain her control.

"Uh, Blair, you didn't tell him?" She shakes her head helplessly. "I—I'm sorry." Eric says quietly, almost guiltily.

"No, Eric, you have nothing to be sorry for." His voice is low and calm. "I'm guessing that if it wasn't for you I probably would have never even heard about this." She winces. She was going to tell him! She'd actually forgotten about it with the party taking over her mind. She opens her eyes and mouth to say as much but Eric cuts in.

"Dan—I—I think she was going to tell you and really it was mostly harmless and funny from what I know. The prince—" Dan cuts him off.

"I appreciate you trying to explain all of this, but I think it's something that Blair needs to do." He looks at her and studies her face. She goes to speak and reach for his hand but he backs his chair up and stands. "I don't want to do this here. I'm going to close the tab." His eyes are doing that puppy dog thing and it breaks her heart. Her eyes follow his back to the bar. She quickly turns back to Eric.

"Are you kidding me, Eric?" She grabs her purse and stands up hastily. "How could you just announce that like that? And tonight….right before our coming out party tomorrow." She groans and lays a hand over her stomach. She feels ill. God, how is such subpar alcohol even legal in this country?

"I didn't know! I didn't know anything about anything! I believed the Gossip Girl post saying it was all a ruse. I was shocked that you're finally together. I just assumed you must have told him! How could you not tell him, Blair?" Eric looks at her in disbelief. "You said you'd changed!" Her mouth falls open. She has changed! Isn't the fact that they're in a bar in Brooklyn having _this_ conversation proof of that?!

"I have changed! It doesn't even matter. Dan likes me for me. I just—I was going to tell him but I got sidetracked. It's only been a week!" She comes from around the table to stand over him. He leans away from her with wide eyes. "You're turning this around on me. This—this is your fault. I was going to tell him and it would have been fine. It wasn't a big deal. Now it looks like I wasn't going to tell him and that's a slightly bigger deal. It's only been a week though!" She can't hold on to a train of thought to save her life.

"It doesn't matter if it's been an hour. You should have started with that information." She can see he regrets that comment the instant it comes out of his mouth. She lets out a frustrated shriek and hits him in the arm with her purse. Repeatedly. "Ow. Blair! Stop." He's shielding his head with his arms when she hears Dan.

"Blair. Stop hitting him." He goes to grab her purse and gets a swift hit to his side for his trouble. She gasps and drops her purse when she realizes what she's done. Oops. She covers her mouth and looks at him guiltily. That probably wasn't the best way to start her apology. She drops her hands from her mouth to apologize but he doesn't let her. "Don't even bother. We'll just add it to the list." He shakes his head and picks up her purse. "I'm going home." He extends her purse to her. Oh. He must want to go alone. She takes it from him sadly, lips pouting against her will. She can't look him in the eyes again. He starts walking toward the door. She looks at Eric who only shrugs. She sits down in the chair closest to her. This is quite an overreaction, in her opinion. She'll give him a little time to calm down, but, really he's being dramatic. She's already formulating her plan when she hears his voice.

"Waldorf, what are you doing?" He raises his hands and furrows his brow. "Aren't you—" He looks around the room and rolls his eyes. "Aren't you going home too?" He says trying to keep up their pretense, but she can tell from the way he said it that he meant 'aren't you going home with me?' She looks at him and tries to fight her smile, but she can't.

"Yes, yes. Of course." She stands up quickly and starts to move toward him. She stops suddenly and turns back to Eric to mouth an 'I'm sorry.' He laughs lightly and nods his head in acceptance. She moves to catch back up to Dan. She smiles at him as he holds the door for her, but he doesn't return it. She's still in trouble, but at least he isn't abandoning her in Brooklyn. That is definitely appreciated.

They arrive at the loft after a short, quiet walk. He tosses his keys on the counter and moves into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the refrigerator. She hasn't moved from the entranceway or taken her coat off or even set down her purse. He turns to look at her. "Do you want anything?"

"No, thank you." She's had enough for one night. She can still feel it pulsing through her veins. He nods and shuts the door. He sits on a barstool and stares at the cabinets in the kitchen. He turns his head to look at her.

"I don't know what you did, and we'll get to that, but before we do I just have to know if you would have told me if Eric hadn't?" He looks at her seriously.

"Dan, yes. I promise. I was going to tell you, but the first night didn't seem right and then the party and finals came up." She shifts nervously. "To be honest, I got so sidetracked and I didn't think it was a big deal. I kind of forgot about it. I wasn't hiding it; I was just waiting for the right time." Her eyes haven't left his. She's being honest. He has to see that.

"Ok. I believe you." She lets out a breath of pure relief. "So, what did you do?" He asks hesitantly. "You can come in, by the way." He tilts his head toward the chair next to him. She slowly walks to the chair and takes a seat. She's gripping her purse, trying to figure out how to explain this to him. "Maybe you should let go of the weapon." She cuts her eyes toward him. He's giving her a sly smile. "I had to stop the bartender from calling the police when you were attacking Eric."

She rolls her eyes. "I wasn't _attacking _him." She slides the purse down the counter.

He laughs lightly. "Well, either way, the bartender asked that you stay out of there."

She clicks her tongue against her teeth. "Oh, as if that's some great loss. Their vodka is making me sick even as we speak." She says with mild agitation. A bar in Brooklyn banning her? Unbelievable.

He gives a slight nod. "Yeah, that's what I said. Only with even less tact." She turns to smile at him. He defended her even though he's upset with her. He smiles back conspiratorially and then it falls as worry makes it way to his eyes. "Blair, you didn't do something we can't come back from did you?"

"I—I don't think so." She frowns and looks around the room. She takes a deep breath and then just lets it all out. "I've wanted you for a long time. Since before you even kissed me. The kiss made it more real and more intense. It was like I had to have you so I….I did the only thing I know to do when I want something. I schemed." She looks over at him with big, guilty eyes.

"Right. I've got the scheming part, but what did you do exactly? And—oh God—how does the prince play into it?" He runs a hand over his face.

She purses her lips. Here he goes with the dramatics again. "Well, the first scheme involved—"

"The first scheme? Jesus, Blair. How many schemes were there?" He asks incredulously.

"If you would let me finish then you would know." She snarls. He gives her a warning look. Oh, wrong approach. "Sorry." She clears her throat. "Do you remember when I got locked in the office with Arthur, the IT guy?" He nods. "Well, that was the first scheme, except I was supposed to get locked in the office with you. You ended up leaving though and I didn't know Arthur was still there so that completely blew up in my face. They all did." She throws her hands up in dismay. She still doesn't understand how not one of her schemes went the way she intended. "Anyway, the second scheme was an impromptu offshoot of that one. When you took me out that night to console me after my torturous ordeal, I thought we could both get drunk and have sex and then we'd realize that we should have been together all along because the sex was so good. And I was right about that part." She looks over at him with satisfaction but he's just looking at her in shock. "Ok. That one didn't work, obviously. Scheme number three was also derived from the previous failed scheme. I bought myself flowers and candy and jewelry the next morning to make you jealous. Except, yet again, it didn't work. You didn't even notice and then when I pointed it out to you, you said something about me and Chuck being back together. Another miss." She swallows hard when scheme four re-enters her mind. He's not going to like this one. "Uh, the fourth one is actually how you ended up stuck in the elevator with Serena. I—I bribed the door man to cut off the electricity to the elevator when we were in it. He completely ruined it though and turned off the electricity when you were in the elevator with Serena." She shakes her head to calm herself. The incompetent door man still haunts her. "I was so upset when I saw you making out with Serena. I thought you two were finished but then there you were….clearly unfinished." She sees him looking at her with sadness and she cuts her eyes away. She's not playing on his sympathy for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry that happened and that you had to see it. I didn't want her. It just happened. And all we did was kiss." She believes him, but it happened and Serena is ever present in the back of her mind because of it. Still. Always. She brushes it aside for now though. "This is really ridiculous, Blair." Dan says quietly.

She's getting annoyed with his holier than thou attitude about this. Time to let the last, fattest cat out of the bag. "I'm not finished yet." He must have caught the edge in her voice because he sat up straighter in his chair and turned his body to face her. "Everything I told you about Louis was a lie. I blackmailed him into coming here and helping me get you. If nothing else worked on Saint Dan, I thought jealousy might. What better way to make you jealous than with a prince?" She shrugs nonchalantly. "It was my idea to offer you the fake job. I set it all up so you would follow us and see us. Either you'd be instantly jealous and tell me you wanted me or you'd feel so guilty I could use it against you. I was right about the latter." She says smugly. She doesn't know what's happened but she wants to push him. Who is he to judge her? He said he knew who she was and accepted her, yet he doesn't seem to want to accept this part of her. "I convinced you to kiss me and you know the rest." She finishes. She finally looks at him, really looks at him, and she feels horrible. He looks sad and hurt.

"Are we a lie? Why did you come to me that night?" He gets up from the stool and paces the room. What? Has he even been paying attention? She didn't realize she could push him that far. Panic floods her.

"No! Dan, no, we're not a lie." She jumps up and grabs his arm to still him. "Everything I said to you when I came to you is true. Everything. I did all of this because of how I feel about you. I wanted you, I want you. I just—" She feels the tears start to sting her eyes. She closes them to regain her composure. She opens them back up slowly. "I just wanted you to want me too. I went about it in a crazy way, but it's the only way I know how to get what I want. I'm sorry that I hurt you and lied to you. I am. I—I won't do it again. I promise." She says sincerely. His eyes dart around the room before they land back on her.

"All you had to do was tell me." He lifts his shoulders and shakes his head. "I don't understand how it was easier for you to lie to me and-and trick me instead of being honest with me if you care about me. I don't understand that."

She snaps. "Are you kidding? That's all I've known to do for as long as I can remember. I—I thought you understood that I'm a mess and I make mistakes. You said you knew me and that you accepted me!" She goes to grab her purse off of the counter. She looks around for her coat before she realizes that she never took it off. Oh. Well, good. She starts to turn for the door.

"What? What are you doing?" He calls after her. "One disagreement and you're just walking out the door?"

"Maybe it's not a disagreement. Maybe it's a fundamental difference." She wants to take the words back as soon as she they leave her mouth. She doesn't want this. She didn't think it would turn into this. She really didn't. The thing that's propelling her forward though is that even if she knew it would have upset Dan, she's not sure she would have tried a different route. She's not sure she could have tried a different route without being almost positive of how he felt. "I think I should just leave now before you really get hurt by my warped logic and insecurity." She says honestly, silently praying that he'll stop her. Instead he lets out a bitter laugh.

"Fine." He throws up his hands and walks into the office.

"Fine!" She yells back before slamming the door behind her. She runs down the stairs, tears spilling down her cheeks.

She throws open the doors to darkness and rain. She briefly recalls the bright and sunny morning. Subtle, universe, real subtle. She stands outside feeling lost and confused. She knows she shouldn't be standing out here alone. She turns to go back into the building and call for a car when Dan emerges looking panicked.

"Blair!" He looks around anxiously until his eyes land on her. He runs a hand through his already drenched hair. "What are you doing out here? It's raining."

"Sharp as ever, Humphrey." She bites out and then she sees him flinch so she softens. "I was about to call for a car. I'm going home." She waves her hand apathetically and drops her head.

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself." His voice sounds concerned, almost nervous.

"I know. I was going back inside to wait for my car." She practically has to shout over the din of the rain.

"You shouldn't be out here at all." He moves closer to her. It makes her feel antsy so she takes a step back.

"You shouldn't worry about me." She says with faux bravado.

He rolls his eyes. "Stop it. You know that's not what I meant." He laughs mostly to himself before looking at her seriously. "Anyway I don't think I could stop worrying about you, or caring about you, even if I wanted to." He takes another step closer, she stands still this time. "The entire time you were scheming to get me, I wanted you. More than I've ever wanted anyone. I still want you more than anyone."

"Do—" She starts and stops to break eye contact with him for a moment to gather her nerve. She looks back at him nervously. "Do you mean that?" There's a long beat of silence that hangs between them.

"Are you still that insecure?" He asks gently, examining her as it steadily rains around them. It almost seems like he didn't mean to ask it out loud. Her mind flashes back to a boy and a girl sitting in a hallway. She meets his gaze and wonders if he's thinking about the same thing.

"Yes." She answers honestly, freely….confidently somehow. She pushes her wet hair off of her face. She knows he knows that, but it still seems to surprise him. She sees the flicker of sadness in his eyes. Maybe it's how deep and entrenched the insecurity is within her that's new to him. Maybe it's that she would rather bend and twist like an acrobat to make someone notice her instead of just telling them how she feels, even someone as good as him. It makes him pause and re-evaluate. He moves toward her purposefully.

"Don't be." He says adamantly. Like he's annoyed that she is. Like he doesn't understand why she is. Like it's that easy to turn it off. He leans in slowly and pauses right before he meets her lips. His eyes lock with hers, but he doesn't make anymore moves to close the canyon size inch that separates their lips. The rain continues to fall on them, but neither of them moves. She doesn't know what he wants or what he's waiting for. It dawns on her that he's waiting for her to make the move, wants her to be secure. She drops her gaze to his lips and then raises it back to his eyes. She grabs his face and closes the gap herself. He responds instantly and pulls her to him. The rain has soaked them and their lips slide messily over each other's. He lets her tongue push into his mouth and he moans against her. Her hands slide over his cheeks and jaw, too wet to grip him the way she wants. His hand slides into her tangled, wet hair and pulls her head back. He looks her over intensely and then deeply, "Inside." She nods and lets him lead her by the hand into his building.

Once they're inside he has her pressed against the wall. Knee between her legs, lips on hers instantly. She's moaning and gripping him. He breaks away from her mouth to leave kisses on her neck. She rolls her head to the side to give him better access. She nearly shouts out when she feels his tongue against her neck, licking the rain water off of her slowly. "Upstairs." She barely manages to breathe out. He grunts his assent and leads her by the hand up the stairs this time. They only make it a few steps when she can't stand the distance anymore. "Dan, wait." He stops and looks at her in confusion. She turns and grips his wet t-shirt tightly between her fingers, yanking him closer. She leans up and he meets her lips in the middle. She can't get enough of his mouth tonight. She starts to push him back slightly until he hits the wall behind the railing. When they've found a rhythm there she moves her hand to his zipper. She gasps into his mouth when she feels how hard he is. She goes to undo his pants, when his hand stills hers. "No. Not like this. Not out here." He kisses her again. "Upstairs." And again. "Just us." More deeply this time. His hands come up to her face and his tongue slides in her mouth. Whatever he wants is fine, but she can't wait much longer. She breaks away roughly and nods. Her eyes only open when he starts to tug on her hand.

When they're inside the loft, he takes control again, backing her against the door, mouth covering hers. He rips her coat open, she gasps as buttons fly around them, and he shoves it off of her impatiently. His hands find the zipper of her dress and hastily unzip it. He moves the straps off her shoulders and slides the whole thing down her body, over her hips until it hits the floor. His hands rest on her hips, gripping tightly, before they slide up to her breasts. He massages them and then presses her back forward so he can take her bra off. Blair's no help at all. She's officially useless. She can only moan and pant. The anticipation has paralyzed her. He's licking and kissing his way down her neck to her chest until he reaches her breasts. She cries out when his mouth covers her nipple. He grips her waist with one hand while the other slides her panties down her hips and butt and past her thighs. She whimpers when his lips leave her nipple exposed to the air so he can drop to his knees and pull her panties off completely. Her head slams against the door when his tongue slips over her folds and strokes over her clit. He stops abruptly to stand up and remove his pants. She watches as he hurriedly shoves them and then his boxers off. He moves back to her and she works his t-shirt up his chest. He raises his arms so she can take it off completely. She wants to feel his skin against hers. He lifts her up and she wraps her legs tightly around him. They're still wet and slippery so they have to grip each other tightly. She welcomes it after tonight. He's got a hand digging into her hip and the other pressed against the door for leverage. He's in her so fast that it takes her breath away. Her back is pressing into the door hard with each thrust. It's rough and desperate but it feels so good. It needed to be like this after their fight. They have to get rid of all of the tension.

She feels his lips at her ear, nipping at her ear lobe and pressing kisses just below it. "Don't be insecure. Just don't." He moves so that he's looking in her eyes. "I want you. I want _you_. I swear this is all I want." His mouth suddenly slams into hers and she digs her nails into his back and grips his hair tighter. She wants to believe him. She does, she really does. He moves his hand from the door to her clit and she loses it as soon as he touches her. She tumbles over the edge, breaking away from his mouth, gasping for air. He leans his head against the door and follows her over.

In her post-coital haze, with Dan pressing lazy kisses into her neck, she thinks it was probably the worst idea in the world to fall for the guy who's been in love with Serena for as long as she's known him. She's not sure she can overcome that wall. The problem isn't him, it's her. It's Serena and Blair's insecurity about her. No one's ever loved her more than Serena and she knows it. It's Blair's insecurity in general. She pushes the thought aside and gets lost in Dan instead….which is how she wound up here in the first place. It's too late for anything else though. She wraps her arms around him tighter. She's not losing him. Not to Serena or anyone else.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hey! Thank you for the reviews, faves, and follows! I hope you all like this one! I know it takes me forever to move from event to event but I'm getting there lol I appreciate your patience :)**

Blair finds Dan sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper, coffee cup within reach. She hangs back in the hallway, watching him, deciding how best to approach him. They haven't talked since last night. When they made it to Dan's bedroom they made love one more time and then passed out. She was spent from the alcohol, the emotions, and the sex. It wasn't the easy, mellow night Dan had wanted and that she needed. If Dan hadn't followed her outside she doesn't know what state their relationship would be in right now. He did though and she thinks they're better than they were before. She doesn't have any other unintentional secrets…that she can think of. Everything is out in the open. The schemes, Serena, that she wants him like crazy. She feels exposed and vulnerable; it makes her stomach churn with fear. He's got more than enough of her to break her. She eyes him carefully. For all she knows, he's still upset. She definitely knows that he's going to want to talk about everything. She tightens the tie on her robe and debates going back to sleep. The rustle of the newspaper chases the thought away.

"Hey, I don't know if you know this, but if you're over there and I'm over here, it makes it really difficult to say good morning the way I want to." Dan meets her eyes and smiles warmly before folding the paper and tossing it on the table. She can feel herself light up and she practically skips to him. God help her, since when does she practically skip anywhere? He laughs as she sits next to him and raises her eyebrows expectantly. "You're a quick study, Waldorf." He cups her face and presses his lips to hers.

"Hmmm." Her eyes flutter back open to see him smiling at her as he strokes her cheeks with his thumbs. What was she worried about again? "Never let it be said that Humphreys are bad hosts." She leans forward and pecks his lips again before breaking away from him and taking his coffee and the newspaper from the table. He likes his coffee a little sweeter than she does, but she doesn't mind it. She's actually starting to like it. She settles against the sofa and takes a long sip. She starts to scan the paper. "Anything I should know about in here?" She asks as nonchalantly as she can manage.

He takes his cup back and takes a drink. "Uh, yeah, I actually marked a couple of articles for you, start on page two, and there's an exhibit at a gallery just a few blocks away that we should go to." He drinks more coffee and she can feel him watching her as he does. "You want some more?" He offers the cup back to her. Ignorance is a blissful little island.

"Oh, yeah, thank you." She takes it and gives him a quick smile, already lost in the article on page two. A few minutes go by in silence and she can't help feeling like she's still being studied. She moves her eyes to him slowly. He's staring at her intently. Oh, yeah. She was right to think he'd want to analyze last night.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think we need to talk about last night." There it is. In his defense, he did manage to wait a whole five minutes before nearly bursting at the seams. "I mean—I know we pretty much resolved everything, but I think it'd be a good idea to kind of make sure we're still on the same page."

She clears her throat and sets the paper between them on the sofa. "Sure, of course." She tries to smile but she's not sure it worked.

His eyes widen. "Whoa. What was that face?" He laughs and moves the paper back to the table so he can slide closer to her. "We're just having a conversation."

She nods and successfully manages a small smile this time. "If you have some things you feel need to be cleared up, then I feel the same."

He turns toward her and leans an elbow against the back of the sofa and rests his head against his hand. "Really? Is that why you were in the hallway staring me down for a good twenty minutes?" His hand finds hers and he intertwines his fingers with hers.

She frowns. "That's a tad hyperbolic, Humphrey. At most, it was two minutes." He smirks at her knowingly. She tosses her hair over her shoulder. She remembers for the first time that morning that it's still wavy and messy from the rain...because she was too busy having sex and sleeping to take a shower last night. Good Lord. He's turned her into some kind of heathen. The thought makes her lips curl up slightly and she can feel a blush creep to her cheeks. His eyes light up and dance over her face as he takes notice.

"Whatever you say. I'm much more interested in why you're blushing and smiling mischievously." He bites his lip and waits for her response.

It takes her breath away for a moment. "My hair. I didn't even attempt to do anything to make it presentable after it got wet. I was just thinking that it probably looks crazy." She lowers her eyes to look at their hands. "And I was thinking that it's your fault I didn't do anything about it because of the sex and then the sleeping. You're a terrible influence." She raises her eyes back to his and smiles wickedly.

He laughs loudly. "I'm a terrible influence in the best way though. You look beautiful in a wild, free kind of way. I've never seen you look like this before. It makes me want to get lost on an island with you." He leans forward and kisses her. His hand moves to cup her cheek. She sighs into his mouth and rests her free hand on his thigh. She should probably have a clever retort for that comment, but she loves it. She's never felt so connected to herself and her body and her mind and her heart. She _feels_ beautiful in a wild, free kind of way. It's the strangest thing. He breaks away after a few minutes. She's feeling dazed and happy. "There's probably a short story in there somewhere." He murmurs against her lips and presses another kiss to them.

"Humphrey, nothing about us is a short story. Especially us lost on an island. That's a sprawling, multi-chapter novel if ever there was one." She laughs lightly as he pulls back.

"Hmmm, good point." He cuts his brainstorming short and refocuses on her. "Ok, back to you lurking in hallways." She rolls her eyes exasperatedly. It wasn't lurking. "What was that about?"

She sighs dramatically. "I was nervous." She confesses. He knits his eyebrows together in confusion. "I don't know. We haven't really talked anything out. I didn't know where you stood and if it was going to be weird or if you'd changed your mind." She shrugs. "I just didn't know."

"Oh." He nods his head. "See, that's why I like to talk so much. If we communicate then there's no room for misunderstandings and worry."

"No, I know. You're right. And I told you, I'm prepared for communication." She smiles, feeling quite proud of herself.

"I appreciate that." He returns her smile. "Uh, so, I haven't changed my mind. No rugs will be pulled out from under you here. If I say or do something that indicates I forgive you, then I do." He raises her hand to his lips and kisses it gently. "I actually thought I should tell you that I think you were right. And I think I may have over-reacted…about some of it."

Blair's eyes look from side to side. That's a new one. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I can't tell you I know who you are and that I accept you and then not follow through with those words when it's time to, you know? It can't be abstract, it has to be real. And it is." He tightens his fingers against her hand.

"Oh. Ok." Blair doesn't even know what to say.

He chuckles. "Did I just render Blair Waldorf speechless?" She laughs lightly and nods. "It wasn't fair. I know that you scheme and all that, but, I guess I thought it was in the past. So—I don't know. I think what I'm trying to say is that it wasn't fair to accept you for who you were and not for who you are still. I like you and your warped logic and your scheming. Maybe just talk to me about it next time? Think of all the time and energy that was wasted." He pokes her shoulder playfully.

"Are you serious?" She asks, still in shock.

"Yes. This isn't a free pass though. You can't just go around manipulating people. Especially me." He tells her seriously. "We're in a relationship now. That means that if you're worried about something, then you talk to me about it. Even if it's weird or difficult. I want to know. I promise you, I always want to know, whether it concerns me or not." She nods her understanding and gives him a faint smile.

"I—I know. You're right. I can't keep scheming forever. It's immature." She concludes forlornly. "I'm just so good at it though."

Dan takes in a sharp breath and narrows his eyes at her. "Are you though?"

"What? I don't even understand that question." Seriously. What is he talking about?

He runs a hand over his jaw. "Uh—well—I just think it might be worth acknowledging that your scheming really kind of got you nowhere." He laughs when a loud gasp escapes from her mouth.

"Humphrey!" She jumps up from the sofa. "You are crossing a line."

He stands up too. "Think about it. If you had come to me anytime after W and told me how you felt that would have been it. I would have been in this with you then. Instead you schemed and it got you nowhere. We're only together because you told me how you felt. Scheming had nothing to do with it." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Oh." He's right. Damn. She furrows her brow and throws her hands up. "Well, whatever." She did waste time. Time that could have been spent with Dan. She can't help but frown for the missed opportunities.

"I'm sorry." He smiles warmly and pulls her into a hug. "I didn't mean to cause an identity crisis."

She pulls back and smiles. "It's ok. I'm not having an identity crisis. I think you're immune to scheming." He groans. "It's true! Those were good schemes. The problem was you. You're natural dislike for schemes made you impervious to them."

"Ok. Fine. I mean in a weird way that does make sense." He ponders it for a moment before he shakes his head dismissively. "That's not the point. The point is this is a safe place where we communicate honestly and it doesn't mean it's the end of us or the world. I trust you like I hope you trust me. So no more schemes when it comes to us, right?"

"Right." She says confidently.

"You promise?" He puts his hands on her hips and bends his knees to look her in the eyes.

She smiles and kisses his cheek. "Yes, Dan. I promise." Serena enters her mind briefly, but she pushes her out. She has nothing to do with this.

Dan eyes her hesitantly and nods his head. "Thank you." He says sincerely and straightens back up so he can pull her to him for a kiss.

She smiles up at him when he pulls away. "You're welcome. And thank you. For forgiving me and for being understanding. And…." She looks down for a moment before meeting his gaze again. "And for meaning what you say." She presses her lips to his. "I need to get going. I have a lot to do to get ready for tonight."

"Oh, yeah." He steps back and runs a hand over the back of his head. "I just have one more thing I wanted to discuss with you…if that's ok?"

"Yeah, of course. Can we do it in the bedroom, though, so I can get dressed?" She's already started heading that way. She really has a lot to do.

"Sure." He says in amusement, already following her. She heads straight to the closet where she wisely put a few dresses for emergencies. She grabs one and gingerly lays it on his bed. "I want to talk about Serena." Her hand stills on the tie of her robe and her eyes dance anxiously. That's exactly what she wanted to hear. Not.

She turns to look at him. "What about her?"

"I didn't know that she was such an issue for you still. For us, I guess." His eyes are focused on her, studying her reactions.

"She's not." Blair says defensively. "Un—unless she is for you? If you still have feelings for her or if you want her then, yes, I guess she is an issue for us."

"Oh, no. Don't do that." He shakes his head and steps closer to her. "She's not my issue. I don't want her. I only want you. You know that." He tilts his head to the side and widens his eyes. "Well, I've told you that anyway."

"You told me that in the throes of passion, Dan. That hardly counts. Besides, I'm not worried about Serena." She says as pleasantly as possible.

Dan laughs and looks around the room in confusion. "'The throes of passion?' What romance novel are you living in?" She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. "Nevermind. It's actually kind of endearing. Anyway I meant what I said. I don't get how you don't get that. I also don't get why you're lying to me about Serena….when you just told me last night that it upset you when you saw us kissing and that you're still insecure. And then just a few minutes ago you promised to talk to me about the things that bother you." His mouth falls open like he has more to say but is too dumbfounded to actually communicate. "Are you suffering from like selective anterograde amnesia or something?"

She clicks her tongue against her teeth. "No, I'm not." She uncrosses her arms and shifts nervously. "I'm sorry." She groans and sits down on his bed. "I am. I'm sorry. It's not that I don't believe you; it's that it's difficult for me to understand. It's difficult for me to trust it. Then Serena, for obvious reasons, compounds the issue. This is….this is a challenge for me." She throws her arms up in defeat and lies back on the bed. Dan climbs onto the bed and stretches out on his side beside her. He props his head up with one hand and hesitantly rests the other one on her stomach. She moves her hands over his.

"Ok. Thank you for being honest." His eyes move over her slowly, his eyebrows knitted in thought. "We're a challenge for you?"

Her eyes dart to his immediately when she hears the sadness in his voice and she grips his hand. "I know that it shouldn't be. I do. It is though. I just—I remember you and Serena. You were obsessed with her. Head over heels. Crazy about her. And my own past doesn't help anything. There's Nate and then what happened with Nate and Serena. There's Chuck and everything we were and weren't." She looks away from him and swallows hard. "And then there's just Serena. As much as I love her, I'm insecure about her under the best of circumstances. Wanting the guy who's wanted Serena forever is not the best of circumstances." She laughs sadly and covers her face with her hands. She feels his hand leave her stomach and move her hands away from her face. He looks at her with warm, confident eyes.

"It's good that you told me this. I know it isn't easy, especially for you, to be vulnerable. Now I know though and we can work on this." He takes a deep breath. "I—uh—I want you to be happy and strong. I think I can help you with that. I feel it—I feel it in my bones, Blair, that I know how to love you the way you want to be loved, the way you should be loved. You do have to let me though." She can feel tears prickling behind her eyes. She's so close to having everything she never knew she wanted. She won't get in her own way. She won't. "I'm worried that if you dwell in the past too much you're going to sabotage this. Don't do that, ok? Take me, and us, at face value, ok?" She nods slowly. "I know it's going to take time, but when you start to get worried or insecure just remember that there's no subterfuge or obligation or confusion here. I have no reason to lie to you or play games with you. Everything between us is real." He leans forward and places a kiss on her forehead. "It's more real than anything I think either of us have experienced. I was crazy about Serena, but she was a dream. I know you and I see you, the real you. I do. That's better than a dream. That's real. I want that." He shrugs his shoulder. "I want you." He sits up and leans over her to kiss her tenderly.

"I want you too." She says softly and reaches her hand up to stroke his cheek. He smiles and leans into her touch. "Do you know that you always say the right thing? That's a handy trick for a writer." He laughs lightly and pulls away. She sees something flash across his face. "You're always taking care of me. Are you ok?" Why is this just occurring to her? She might be the worst girlfriend in the world.

"I'm not _always_ taking care of you." He says and shrugs. He looks at her before shifting away from her.

"Answer the question, Humphrey." She rolls onto her side and studies his back through his t-shirt. It looks tight and tense. She reaches out and trails her hand down it. "You have to let me in too." His head snaps around to look at her. He shifts his body back towards her.

"I'm worried that you're going to get in the way of this. I'm worried about the party too. I'm worried Serena's reaction is going to freak you out. I'm worried that your mom will wonder what she's done to make you exact revenge in the form of dating her cater waiter. I'm worried about your reaction to everyone's reactions." He looks down before looking back at her. "Mostly I'm worried about Chuck. I'm worried about you and Chuck." He exhales deeply. "That about covers it." She comes out of her stupor and moves to sit up beside him. She takes his hand in hers.

"I had no idea. I'm sorry." It seems inadequate. "I don't want Chuck. I want you." She squeezes his hand.

"I know. I know you do….for now. I'm just waiting for the Chuck train to come rolling back through the station I guess. It always seems to." He meets her eyes and searches them.

"It did. I thought I had a lifetime pass for that particular train." She mentally shudders. "I—I don't want him. Not anymore. I haven't wanted him for awhile." She's racking her brain trying to figure out when the shift occurred. She can't place it. It's everything about Dan, about them. She knows that no matter what happens between them, she'll never go back to Chuck. "Dan, if you decided tomorrow that you didn't want me, I wouldn't go back to Chuck. I've changed. For the better." She smiles at him reassuringly. "I don't want schemes and mind games. I want happiness and security. I want my best friend. I can talk to you about anything and then you take my breath away with a look. I know we're young and this is new, but I also know how special that is. Don't worry about me and my heart." She leans her forehead against his and places her hand on the side of his neck. She pulls back slowly. "As for the other stuff, we're a team. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, only what we think, remember?" He nods almost imperceptibly. She leans forward and presses her lips to his. She breaks away to look at him. "Only us." She whispers before leaning into him again.

Dan's hands slide into her hair and his tongue slides into her mouth. He pulls back and this time he whispers, "Only us." They lock eyes and smile before Blair leans into him again. She feels his hand slide to the tie of her robe. He slowly undoes it and moans as his hands slip inside and roam over her skin. "Do you have time?" He asks between kisses. As if it's really a question.

"Always. Always, yes." She says breathlessly. He smiles against her lips as he gently urges her back against the mattress. Her dress getting wrinkled beneath them only bothers her for a minute.

* * *

"Dorota!" Blair yells out for the tenth time in as many minutes. Why has she chosen today of all days to become unreliable?

The party is in under an hour. She's dressed and her hair and make-up are perfect. She wants to do a final inspection but Dorota is nowhere to be found. She comes down the stairs in a bad mood. "I hope, for your sake, this disappearance is permanent, Dorota." She calls out amidst the bustling wait staff. The ice in her voice causes a girl to jump and nearly drop her tray. She snarls at the girl as she scurries toward the kitchen. She has no patience for incompetence tonight. She turns and bumps right into Dan.

"Wh—what are you doing here?" He's early. He's not supposed to be early. He's supposed to arrive with everyone else so no one gets suspicious before she can tell everyone. "You're early. You can't be early." She starts to pull him toward the elevator.

"Miss Blair. I call Mister Dan. Let go." Dorota seems to magically appear from behind Dan. "He my early guest."

"You! Where have you been?" She pushes Dan out of the way and knocks him into the same waitress carrying a tray of silverware this time.

"Oh, oh. Sorry." Dan apologizes to the girl and reaches out to steady her.

Blair rolls her eyes in frustration. "Don't apologize to her." She looks over in time to see him bending down to help her pick up the silverware. "And, for God's sake, Humphrey, do not help her pick that up! I know this is unusual for you, but you're not working this event."

He eyes her but continues what he's doing. "You need to calm down." He finishes and helps the girl to her feet before turning his attention back to Blair. "Living room. Now." He says seriously and wraps his arm around her to guide her into the room.

"This is ridiculous. Since when do you boss me around?" She protests the whole way, but she does let him lead her into the living room.

"Could you all give us a minute please?" He asks the wait staff setting up.

They all start to leave and a few even greet him and address him on their way out. She is going to lose it.

"Oh, dear Lord. I had no idea tonight was a reunion for you and your erstwhile co-workers." Her lips form into a straight line and she crosses her arms.

Dan looks at her with wide eyes. "Would you stop please?" She scowls at him. The wait staff looks between the two of them nervously and leave the room quickly. "What happened to you?" He asks in disbelief. "You were not this keyed up when you left the loft."

"Dorota went missing!" She exclaims defensively.

"I with Dan…explaining that you are on war path." Dorota retorts. "This extreme even for you, Miss Blair." She opens her mouth to deny Dorota's accusations when Dorota presents her most damning evidence. "Tell Dan how many wait staff you already fired." Dan raises his eyebrows, waiting for her response.

"Five." She mumbles and frowns.

"Oh, Blair." Dan groans and puts his head in his hands.

"See, war path." Dorota says smugly. "This why I call you, Dan. Miss Blair need her center."

Blair snarls at her before refocusing on Dan. "Dan, they were distractingly uncoordinated. I can't have any peripheral people making this party more of a disaster than it's already going to be." She pouts her lips and sits down on the sofa.

He tilts his head sympathetically and gives her an understanding smile. "Dorota, I appreciate you calling me. Would you mind giving us a minute?"

"My pleasure." Dorota mutters and rushes out of the room.

Blair watches her leave. "I don't know why she thinks she's exempt from my standards for this evening." She turns back around when she feels Dan sit beside her and rest his hand over hers.

"Hey, go easy on her. She's just worried about you." She cuts her eyes away and frowns. "What's going on? What happened to 'only us'?" He gently bumps the side of his knee against hers.

"I don't know. I tried calm and collected. It didn't work." She gives a defeated shrug. He laughs and kisses her cheek.

"Ok. That's ok. Is it anything specific or something we can fix in the next…" He looks at his watch and his eyes get large. "….thirty minutes?"

"No." She shakes her head and stands up. "No, I think the only thing that can be done is to just do it." She extends her hand to him. They're a team. He smiles up at her as he takes it and stands with her.

"That was easy, Waldorf." She laughs lightly as he pushes some hair back from her face and smiles at her lovingly. "You look beautiful, by the way." He strokes her cheek and kisses her. When he pulls away she leans into him and his arms wrap around her.

"Dorota was right." Her mouth quirks into a playful smile as she stares up at him and wraps her own arms around him. His mouth drops open as he feigns shock. She rolls her eyes and kisses him again. "I needed my center. I feel much better now that you're here. Peaceful, even." She says shyly. He pulls her closer and places a kiss in her hair.

"That was sweet, Blair." She tightens her hold on him. She pulls her head back to look at him.

"You look handsome in your suit." She places a quick kiss on his jaw.

"Alright, this might be scarier than your meltdown." He teases. Her lips form into a straight line and she cuts her eyes away playfully.

She pushes back from him. "Don't act so surprised. I've been very nice to you lately, Humphrey. I even let you match my dress tonight." She gestures to his pocket square and smiles with wide, sweet eyes.

His head falls back as he laughs. "Yeah, I know that wasn't for my benefit." She laughs as he pulls her back into his arms and presses a kiss to her cheek. He knows her so well. "You're right though. You have been very nice." He kisses her slowly and sweetly as his arm wraps tighter around her waist and his hand slides to her neck. She rests her hands on his shoulders and her fingers press and grip against the fabric of his suit. His thumb is stroking her jaw and she's getting lost in the moment. All of the commotion outside pulls her out of her haze. She regretfully breaks away from his mouth. They do have a party that's about to start.

She smiles mischievously. "Mmmm, I'm glad you're finally—"

Her words are cut off by the door being thrown open behind her. She turns her head to yell at the rude waiter or waitress. Oh. It's not a waiter or waitress.

"Serena…" She barely breathes out. She can't stop her hands from gripping Dan a little tighter.

**A/N2: I'm sorry about the weird switch from the loft to the penthouse but it worked better in this chapter than in the next. Party next chapter! I'll have it up as soon as I can! **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey! I apologize for the delay...again. I have excuses blah blah blah lol The main one is that I've been working on another fic. It wouldn't leave me alone. The good news is it's a (long) one shot and is over half way done so it will be leaving me alone soon. This chapter is another kind of prelude to the party. I'm sorry! I promise I'm not trying to be a tease lol. I've got a lot of ground to cover at the party and the night of the party in general bc canon stuff is being tied into it and it might be another couple of weeks before I have that all sorted out the way I want it. I wanted to at least post something in the meantime. Thank you all for all of your reviews and follows and faves! I appreciate each and every single one! I'll be back soon! **

Blair can't think. She can only stare. Serena's face is a mix of hurt and anger. Lots and lots of anger.

Blair can feel the bad, angry butterflies in her stomach. Her shaky fingers are gripping Dan's suit jacket. She turns her head back around to look at Dan. He locks eyes with her and she feels a little better. His eyes are confident and sure. He squeezes her waist before stepping away from her. Her hands slip off of him and her eyes close at the loss of contact. Serena, of course, enters her mind. She looked so hurt. This is bad. She should have just told her. She looks down and gathers her thoughts before turning back around to face Serena.

Serena steps into the room and slams the door behind her. She tosses her clutch to the side and crosses her arms. "Is someone going to speak? Or do you need more time to come up with your lies?"

"Serena, we were going to tell you. That's what this whole party is for." Dan tells her calmly.

Serena laughs bitterly and tilts her head back. "I know that's what this whole party is for. Anyone with a cell phone or a computer knows that." She uncrosses her arms to gesture to them. "Except you two apparently." She sighs and smooths down her dress. Oh God. Blair is missing something. She sneaks a quick glance at Dan and sees that he's as confused as she is. This is ridiculous. Serena isn't holding them hostage.

She turns back to Dan. "Dan, do you have your phone? I think we've missed Gossip Girl's latest announcement." He nods slowly and pulls it out of his pocket. She steps over to him. She goes to put her arm around him, but she stops herself. She glances at Serena. She takes a step back from him. She doesn't want to appear insensitive or flippant. Dan's eyes study her as he pulls up the post. She can't look at him. She feels guilty and he knows it.

"Oh God." Her eyes dart back to him. He looks at her sympathetically. She steps closer and grabs his hand so she can see for herself. She gasps. Gossip Girl has documented their entire relationship. Starting from the beginning. The very beginning. It's some kind of bizarre retrospective of their lives, even when they were little more than enemies, that culminates with a picture of them kissing in the rain just last night. Blair would find it sweet if it wasn't so invasive. She feels stupid to have thought that she was getting away with this. It wasn't that Gossip Girl didn't care anymore or hadn't found them out. She was waiting for the perfect, or imperfect, time to release this. Of course Gossip Girl cares about Lonely Boy and Queen B dating.

She feels Dan's hand rest on the small of her back. She meets his eyes. "Are you ok?" He quietly asks her. She doesn't even get a chance to respond before Serena is scoffing at them.

"Wow. You've really done a number on him, haven't you, B?" Serena smirks and shakes her head. "Poor, innocent Blair." Somehow she always knew this would come back to her and be all her fault. Maybe that's why she didn't want to tell anyone.

Dan's hand slides from her back to grip her hand. "No one has been duped here. I haven't suddenly forgotten everything I know about Blair." Blair looks down. She feels guilty that Dan even has to present such an argument. Is she really that awful? "I know who she is. I like who she is. What am I-" He shakes his head and turns to look at her. "Why does it feel like I'm apologizing for liking you? Like there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you." He squeezes her hand. The look in his eyes makes her believe every word he says. She smiles at him warmly. He laughs at the absurdity of the situation and refocuses on Serena. "Look, none of you guys, or me, are these perfect paradigms of human behavior. No one—no one's being tricked here. There's nothing wrong with her." He finishes in annoyance.

"Right. None of us are perfect, Dan. That's becoming more and more apparent by the minute." Serena says icily. "Some of us behave a little worse than the rest of us though and some of us used to care about that."

Dan sighs and runs a hand over his face. "Serena. Do you really want to get into a debate about this with me?" Dan's tone causes Blair to snap her head around to look at him and then turns to look at Serena's wounded expression. "Do you?" He raises his eyebrows and prompts her again.

"What's there to debate? Blair is the same two-faced ice queen she's always been. Only this time I guess it's different because you're the sucker?"

Blair "That's enough, Serena. I know you're upset with us because we didn't tell you or ask your permission, which I imagine is the bigger issue, God forbid we don't all show deference to the Upper East Side's princess, but this really has nothing to do with you." She didn't want to get so nasty, but Serena started it.

"Oh, it has nothing to do with me?" Serena laughs and leans back. "That's interesting. If it weren't for me you wouldn't even know Dan! He's my ex-boyfriend, my first love, my friend, my—my—I don't even know. I thought he'd always be there. You're my oldest friend. My best friend, Blair. And now you're dating him?!" She looks at Blair incredulously. "Please tell me how I'm not supposed to take that personally?" She asks quietly. Blair feels a surge of guilt. Serena's only lashing out because she's hurt. Blair knows all about that. She looks down and hesitantly raises her head to look at Dan. She turns back to Serena and softens. This is her oldest friend.

"Serena, I'm sorry—" She starts gently, but Serena cuts her off.

"No, don't start acting like you're my friend." Serena tells her sullenly. "Not now. Not because of this."

"You know I care about you. I've always cared about you." Blair says, feeling wounded herself. "This doesn't negate that. This doesn't negate our friendship."

Serena goes to grab her clutch. "Blair, we haven't had a friendship based on actual friendship in years. That's the truth. If anything this proves that." Blair blanches and lets go of Dan's hand. She can feel his eyes on her, trying to read her. "We're not friends." Serena looks at her pointedly and turns to open the door. Blair nods her head and tries to fight the tears that are threatening to spill out. She can't cry. She has a whole party to deal with. Everyone knowing guarantees there's going to be a cavalcade of naysayers traipsing through here tonight, dropping in just to make sure their dissent is noted. Which is what she expected anyway, but she'd hoped to be ahead of the battle. Now she's going to have to take up the fight right in the middle of it. At the very least, she can look good while defending herself. Dan's laugh causes her to dart her eyes to him. Serena opens the door anyway and the noise nearly drowns out his words.

"Whose fault is that, Serena?" He calls after her. She stills before shutting the door again and turning to face him. Oh.

"What are you saying?" She asks him, her hurt resurfacing.

"I'm saying that the reason your friendship with Blair hasn't been a friendship in years is because of what you did." He shrugs like it's obvious. "When did everything fall apart between the two of you?" Blair's mouth falls open. He's really going there.

"Dan..." Serena shakes her head and looks away.

"Am I hitting a nerve?" He takes a step closer to her. "Your friendship with Blair started to fray when you slept with her boyfriend, notice the lack of 'ex' in front of that, by the way, and then disappeared when she needed you the most." Blair was not anticipating this. She thought Dan would defer to her and make an exit, but he is decidedly not making an exit. She's not sure how she feels about it. It's almost like she's not here. It doesn't seem like she needs to be here anyway.

"Fine. That's all true." Serena shrugs angrily. "What's also true is that I left because I had the decency to be ashamed of what I did. She's not ashamed. Neither of you are. " Dan looks back at Blair with wide eyes before turning back to Serena.

"Are you joking?" Serena opens her mouth to respond but he doesn't let her. "That was rhetorical. You're absolutely right. We are not ashamed. We haven't done anything wrong. Just a few weeks ago you were completely in love with Ben. Who can keep up with your romantic exploits? All I know is that we're broken up. We have been for a long time. That means we date other people and we don't have any right to be mad about it. And, you know, I seem to recall you dating Nate not too long ago. How is this any different?" An awkward silence settles over the room. This is going too far. Blair doesn't want to lose Serena. She's about to step in but Serena beats her to it.

"Oh, am I allowed to answer this one? Great, thanks." She smirks at him before the anger returns to her face. "The difference is that Chuck is the only person Blair has ever cared about. Besides herself, of course. She didn't care about Nate or if I dated him. I care about you. You know that. She knows that. We were just kissing a few weeks ago. She—she didn't want Nate. That's the difference." She finishes as the weight of what she's saying hits all of them. She shifts nervously and tries a slight subject change. "I don't think either of you really need me to explain that Ben isn't your best friend, Dan. There's moving on and there's this." She gestures to Blair sadly. "An eye for an eye is a coward's defense, by the way."

"You know I don't know why you guys are friends sometimes. I really don't." He shrugs his shoulders. "I'll admit that I didn't understand Blair when I first met her. I thought she was snobby and bratty. And she is those things sometimes. It took one real look into your world to figure out that she's not that simple. She cares so much about you, _all_ of you. She does bad things sometimes and she strikes out but it's usually because she feels threatened or wronged. It's not for fun. She cares. I'm—just—I'm really sick of hearing that argument. It's wrong and ignorant. Frankly, it makes you look like the petty one. So you're going to have to try a new approach if you want me to pity you." Serena's tears start to brim over and she wipes at her eyes hastily. Blair can tell that Dan is starting to feel badly. He doesn't want to hurt her either. That's not how he operates. He lowers his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. Blair's hand rubs his back reflexively. She quickly pulls it away. Treading lightly is the goal. "I'm sorry, Serena. I shouldn't have been so callous, but I do stand by what I said. Blair doesn't deserve some sort of scarlet letter for this. She's felt bad about it. She's been worried about your reaction. We both care about you and we're not doing this to hurt you. We have feelings for each other. That's all this is."

"Well, maybe you see it that way and maybe you believe what Blair says but I don't think I do." Serena wipes at her eyes again. "I want you. If kissing you in an elevator didn't make that clear enough to both of you, I can say it: I want you, Dan." Blair can't help the shocked laugh that comes out of her. She can't even believe what she's hearing. So because Serena wants Dan, Blair's expected to give him up? She just assumes Dan has been biding his time. How is she the bad guy in this situation? "The ball is in your court. If you guys care about me like you say you do, this is your chance to prove it. Please don't do this to me." Blair feels like the wind has been knocked out of her. She moves over to the sofa to take a seat. She always knew she'd lose one of them. She can't breathe. And now it's about to happen.

"Serena, don't ask that." Dan says warningly. "If you care about me, don't ask that." The fear in his voice startles her out of her daze. It won't be him. She should have known. He's been defending her to Serena since she walked in the room. The relief she feels knowing that she won't lost him in this battle is nearly overwhelming.

"No." Dan and Serena both look at Blair. She shakes her head and looks between them. "No. I'm not doing this. I'm not. I care about you, Serena, but I'm not giving up Dan. If you knew how I feel about him you wouldn't ask me to do that." She gathers her wits and stands again, approaching Serena. She's Blair Waldorf. People don't give her ultimatums. "You aren't taking this from me."

"Oh, God. That again." Serena says in frustration. "I'm not trying to take anything from you! I'm asking you, as my friend, to not date someone I care about."

"So you can have him, right?" Blair's a lot of things but she's no fool. "If that's not taking him from me then I don't know what is. You had your chance with him. You had several chances with him actually. You thought that he would always be waiting for you, but he's not. He's a catch, Serena. I'm sorry you either didn't see it or didn't think anyone else would, but it's not fair for you to expect him to be on some kind of bizarre lay away plan. That's not how it works."

"Have you told Chuck that you don't see it that way anymore?" Serena cocks her head to the side and crosses her arms. "Do you really expect me to believe that you and Chuck aren't just biding your time? That you're not just waiting for the wind to blow the right way again?"

Blair notices Dan flinch next to her. It was small but it was there. "Chuck has nothing to do with this." She tells Serena confidently.

"Oh, sure. Dan, did I tell you that I'm selling the Brooklyn Bridge?" Serena looks at Dan incredulously. He looks in the other direction briefly before meeting Serena's eyes again. Serena laughs bitterly. "You guys are obviously going to do whatever you want, my feelings be damned. I don't think I need friends or boyfriends like that."

"This is—this is actually crazy. No one is deciding what happens between me and Blair except for me and Blair." Dan inches closer to Blair. "We all know that you're on a kamikaze mission if the whole betrayal of the friendship code is your stance on this. If you want to be that hypocritical, be my guest. Regardless, I care about you as a friend, and I made that clear when we had breakfast so I don't appreciate you throwing around demands thinking I'm going to give in to them when you know perfectly well that that is not the case. We're friends and step-siblings, and I honestly hope we can always say we're both of those things, but I'm not living my life based on your standards or demands." Blair takes a deep breath and grabs his hand. He grips it tightly as soon as she does. "This isn't to hurt you. That's the only thing I can say to you. She makes me happy. It's that simple."

"I'm sorry, Serena. I wouldn't do this if I didn't have real feelings for Dan. I love you and I hope you'll understand someday." She smiles sincerely as her eyes start to cloud. "I'll be here when you're ready. I'll always be here."

"Yeah, well, I won't be." Serena says sadly. "For either of you." She looks between them one last time and leaves the door open behind her when she walks out. Dan lets go of Blair's hand to close the door.

"Oh my God." He runs his hand over his jaw as he moves back over to her. "That went abysmally." He stretches his neck out. She smiles faintly and moves back to the sofa. "I'm so sorry, Blair."

"It's ok. I'm ok. I knew it wasn't going to go well. I made a choice that I knew would hurt her. She has a right to be upset right now." She looks down at her hands in her lap. She can feel the tears start to roll down her cheeks. She wipes them away and meets his eyes again. "The worst is over now. That's the worst thing that could possibly happen tonight."

"I hope you're right, but there's still Chuck." He comes over and sits beside her.

She clicks her tongue and dismisses the thought. "Chuck doesn't have the power to hurt me anymore. He's my friend and I'll try to make this easier on him if I can but that's the extent of that."

"Wow. Have you really forgotten how Chuck operates?" Dan looks at her in shock. "He's not going to take this slight without a lot of drama and games, Blair."

"Humphrey, if a tree falls and no one's around to hear it, does it still make a sound?" She asks as she moves to the mirror to check her eye make-up.

"Uh, yes!" Dan says emphatically. "Especially when the tree wants to be heard."

She scrunches up her nose. "That doesn't even make sense." Her make-up has held up well enough. She takes a breath to compose herself and crosses back to the sofa. He looks at her seriously. "Dan, I need you to be grounded right now. I've accepted that I can't control this. I just lost Serena, at least for the time being. I need you to be my level headed, rational boyfriend tonight and not worry about Chuck and what he may or may not do. Please." He stands up and pulls her into a tight hug.

"Ok. We'll deal with it as it comes." He pulls back and moves his hands to her face. He smiles confidently before leaning in to kiss her. She instantly feels better as his lips and warmth take over her mind. She opens her lips under his and his tongue eases into her mouth. She moans and moves closer to him. She's caught up in the moment and Dan until the door opens again. They break apart and she turns to see Nate in the doorway.

"How many times do you think that needs to happen before we actually lock the door?" Dan asks from behind her. She shrugs apathetically. She doesn't even care anymore.

"No. Way." He says with a playfully shocked look on his face. Dorota appears from behind him.

"I try to stop him, Miss Blair. He more forceful than I remember." She eyes him disdainfully.

"It's ok, Dorota. We can handle it from here." Blair smiles at her. Dorota smiles and closes the door behind her.

"Holy shit! How could you not tell me, man? You and Blair! Nice work." Nate approaches Dan and pats him on the back. She grimaces at the Neanderthal behavior of her ex. Dan blushes and covers his eyes briefly before looking at Nate with a mirthful look on his face. She can't even be mad when Dan looks so amused and Nate seems to actually be happy for them. It's a welcome change from Serena's attitude.

"Oh, yes. Way to score, Humphrey." Blair smirks at Nate jokingly. "You are such a frat boy sometimes."

"Aw, come on, Waldorf. Don't be rude to our one and only supporter. Besides I'm pretty sure you referred to me as a catch earlier." Dan says playfully as he wraps his arms around her from behind. Her hands move over his and she sighs happily.

"Yeah, yeah." She smiles begrudgingly as Dan presses a kiss to her temple and moves to her side, draping an arm lazily across her shoulders. She looks over to find him staring at her like she's the most amusing thing he's ever encountered. She blushes and cuts her eyes away. She sees Nate has been studying them. Since when does Nate study anything?

"I don't even believe this is happening!" Nate says still seemingly in a state of shock as he goes to the wet bar and pours two scotches. "Give me the details, you crazy kids." He walks over and hands Dan his drink. She rolls her eyes. It's really something that Nate is still able to ignore her so effectively. Dan looks at her and they share a knowing smirk. He extends his glass to her. She shakes her head lightly.

"Blair, why don't you start filling him in and I'll go get you some champagne." He hands her his glass and kisses her cheek. She smiles after him as he moves out of the room quickly.

She notices Nate is smiling at her like the cat that ate the canary. She's not used to being the canary. It makes her slightly uncomfortable. "I don't believe this is happening." He says with a change in his tone this time. Like he actually doesn't believe it.

She narrows her eyes at him. She's starting to feel a little defensive. "What exactly don't you believe?"

"I don't know." He starts slowly. His body language and expression have changed. The energy in the room has changed. It's all a little more serious. "It's not that I don't believe you, but I guess I just want to know a few things."

Oh. Now she has to prove her feelings. Fine. "What do you want to know?" She moves to the sofa and takes a seat. When she looks up at him again she raises her eyebrows expectantly.

"I can tell already that he's serious. He likes you. Even I can see that." He looks away for a moment before looking back at her. "I want to know that it's the same for you. I want to know that you're not going to hurt him. I want to know that this has nothing to do with a game or with Chuck." He takes a deep breath and looks slightly abashed. "I want to know that you're not doing this as some sort of delayed payback for Serena."

She lets out a bitter laugh and tilts her head down so he can't see her wounded expression. "Weren't you my friend at one point? You always choose anyone and everyone over me."

"Blair, come on. You're my friend and if I thought someone was going to hurt you or trying to hurt you I'd be having the same conversation with them. You know how this looks. I'm just looking out for Dan and Serena." He finishes like he didn't just deliver a blow to her gut.

"Oh, by all means. Dan and Serena don't have nearly enough defenders do they?" She knew that no one would be worried about her getting hurt so she doesn't know why it stings like it does. She gulps down some of Dan's scotch. It burns but it's not enough. She brings the glass to her lips and finishes off the rest. She regrets it instantly as the burn intensifies. She coughs and winces as it settles in her.

"Shit. Do you want some water?" He jumps up and goes back to the wet bar to get her some water. "I've seen grown men cry after drinking less scotch in more time." She can only continue coughing in response. He kneels down in front of her and hands her the glass of water. She drinks it in one pass. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You're hard to read. You know that. You're good at playing people." She winces involuntarily at his words. Is everyone going to question her motives? "I guess you are serious. I'm sorry." He moves to sit next to her and gives her a warm smile.

"It's ok, Nate. I knew it would happen like this. I'm me after all." She gives him a small smile and lets her hurt go. "I care about them too." She adjusts her body so that she's facing him. "I like him, Nate. I like him so much. It scares me, but in a good way. I—I feel like myself again for the first time in years. I'm happy. I'm actually happy." She smiles, mostly to herself, and shakes her head in disbelief. "Blair Waldorf is happy. Do you even remember the last time I was happy for the right reasons? I don't."

"I do, actually. I remember how your eyes would shine and dance. You were the same but brighter. We were young though and no one had hurt anyone." Nate says sadly. They sit in silence for a moment before he looks at her again. "If you're happy, I'm happy for you."

She laughs lightly. He still doesn't believe her completely. "I don't blame you. You'll see." She tells him with a smug smile.

"I hope so." He flashes his trademark grin at her as Dan comes into the room.

"Hey, people are starting to get here and it's a little crazy." They both turn to look at him. She pulls her head back and furrows her brow when she sees him. She hears Nate laughing beside her His tie is crooked and his hair is a little messier. His eyes are wide and slightly crazed.

She stands up and sets the empty water glass next to the empty scotch glass on the coffee table. "Humphrey, what on Earth happened to you? You go out for a glass of champagne and come back to me looking like you're the fifth member of The Beatles." She stands in front of him and straightens his tie.

"Your minions happened to me." Blair bites her lip to keep from laughing at him and focuses intently on his tie. "Oh, it's not funny. If you knew what I just survived you would not be laughing. They cornered me. Literally. They had so many questions and they wouldn't let me go. They forcibly held me." He looks over her shoulder at Nate. "Those girls need a hobby."

"Bite your tongue." She finishes fixing his tie and wraps her arms around him. She peers up at him and smiles devilishly. "_I'm_ their hobby." Nate and Dan both laugh. Dan leans down to press a quick kiss to her lips and steps out of her arms to cross the room.

"Oh, God. Is this life now? You guys kissing and being all coupley." Nate asks as he stands up. "I'm not sure I'm ready for this." They all laugh.

"Well, you better get used to it." Dan says absently, looking around the room. He spots what he was looking for, his empty scotch glass, and holds it up. "Nate, two scotches? It's not _that_ bad." He rolls his eyes before setting the glass back down and moves to stand next to Blair again.

Nate chuckles. "Blair drank that actually." He says somewhat guiltily and looks away.

Dan notices the moment and looks at Blair. "Long story." She smiles faintly and he looks like he's curious but he nods his head without another word about it. "We need to get out there. Get this over with. Your hair…" She turns a little so she can fix Dan's hair.

He swats her hand away. "It's fine." She frowns but lets him win this round. He does look cute with his disheveled curls. She really can't wait for this night to be over. For so many reasons.

"Ok, lovebirds. Let's do this!" Nate calls excitedly and throws open the doors to the chaos that is their circle of friends and family and important strangers.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey! Thanks for everything! You guys are the best! :) I hope you enjoy this one! Also, some of this dialogue is lifted directly from 4x20 so thanks, I think? lol, to whoever wrote that!**

Blair's swirling her champagne flute, pretending to care as Penelope relates the tale of how she took down Jason Semos. She's half listening as her eyes scan the room. She's trying to keep records of all the key players.

Dan is with his dad in the foyer. Rufus and Lily just arrived. Dan decided it would be best if he intercepted them and told them privately. He, clearly, thinks it's going to be a problem. Lily's presence means that Serena must be seeking comfort elsewhere. That's good. Dan's dad won't think she's a terrible friend on top of a bully for a few more hours. She takes a sip of her champagne.

Nate is chatting up one of the junior editors from Vanity Fair. She makes a mental note to keep a close eye on that. She can't have Nate using people from her internship for his weekly romances. She brings the champagne flute to her lips again.

Eric isn't here yet. He's probably with Serena. She hopes he is anyway. She really made the right choice about this brand of champagne. It's just delicious.

Her mother and Cyrus had a last minute dinner meeting with one of his most lucrative clients so, at best, they'll be very late. That's fine. It's not like this was important to Blair or anything. Oh, wait. She finishes the remainder of her champagne.

A waiter with a tray of champagne just walked into the room. Blair holds a finger up to Penelope to make her pause. She comes back a moment later. Fake smile in place, full champagne flute in hand. Now where was she….oh, yes.

Allison is running late. She vaguely recalls Dan trying to explain something about a late meeting with a potential buyer. She takes a long sip from her new champagne.

Chuck was here. She ran into him earlier. She smelled him before she saw him. She'd asked him to leave and she has no idea where he is now. Nate's tried to text and call him but Chuck hasn't responded. She's sure he's fine; he'll outlive them all, no doubt. She's only concerned because it means he's up to something or will be soon. God help her. Her smile falters. She brings the champagne flute to her lips quickly so Penelope won't notice the crack in her façade.

The best news of all is that Harold missed his flight. He is definitely not going to be here. She takes a long sip from her glass. And another. Oh, oops. All gone.

"Blair, are you developing a drinking problem so you can relate more to the plight of Dan's people? Poor people?" Penelope eyes her cautiously.

How did she think she could deal with her tonight? She draws in a deep breath and closes her eyes. "No, Penelope." She opens her eyes slowly, calmly. "Just no." She starts to walk away but stops. "And he isn't poor. He's upper middle class." Now, she walks away.

She's so flustered that when she walks away from Penelope she walks right into the foyer, where she had promised Dan she would stay out of, and Rufus and Lily's interrogation of Dan. She moves to the side, hoping they won't notice her. They seem to be wrapped up in their conversation. She should probably feel bad about eavesdropping, but she doesn't. Honestly, who has a private conversation in a foyer anyway?

"Dan, I just—I'm having a difficult time understanding this, son." Rufus says as he sighs deeply. "Please explain to me how you can go from finding her nearly intolerable to dating her. I don't need to remind you of all of the horrible things she did to you and your sister, do I?"

"I hear what you're saying. I do." Dan reassures them and holds his hands out in front of him in an attempt to calm Rufus and Lily. "Dad, you're the one who encouraged me to try to understand her better. You said there was probably more to her and you were right. I realized that years ago, but, now, she's opened up to me as a friend, as more than a friend and it's one of the best things I've ever experienced, to be perfectly honest. I get her. Has she done bad things? Yeah, but we all have. I know exactly who she is and I _like_ who she is. She's my best friend. She's special, but, at the same time, she's just like the rest of us. She just wants love and acceptance. I can give both of those things to her and I'm not letting anybody stop me." Dan concludes seriously. Blair's heart is flying like a kite. "Except Blair. I'm obviously not going to force her to be in a relationship with me." She smiles at his awkward addendum. She has no intention of stopping him….ever.

"The rest of us have not had people, namely your sister, banished from the city. And, you know, speaking of that situation, what about Chuck?" Rufus asks in a confident way, like he's just won the match.

Dan groans and runs his hand over his forehead. "She and Chuck are broken up. They have been for a while. She had feelings for him after that, yes, but she's over them now." Rufus gives Dan a skeptical look. "Dad, come on. She's given me no reason to doubt her or the things that she says to me. I work with what she gives me; no more, no less. I'm not naïve, but I'm also not paranoid. I'm not going to ruin what might be the best thing that's ever happened to me over Chuck Bass." Dan says his name like he's insulted by his existence and flips his hand back to dismiss the topic. It makes Blair smirk against the hand she has over her mouth. There have been several instances where she nearly cried out in pure delight so she had to cover her mouth.

"I worry that you _are_ being naïve and that you're letting your feelings and the thrill of the chase get the best of your head." Rufus says, trying to convey the seriousness of his concerns. "You need to slow down and be cautious about this."

"That's no way to live. And, by the way, in case you want to know, I feel like I'm really living. Finally. This has been happening for a while now too. Before we started dating. My feelings aren't new. She—She's incredible. She's opened my mind and my heart to so many things. I think she's better for me than I am for her." Dan says wistfully, appreciatively. He snaps back to reality after a moment. "Everyone wants to warn me and protect me, but what no one seems to be hearing is that I'm happy. You can all worry and preach, but I'm going to live my life….with Blair." He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs his shoulders. Meanwhile, Blair is about to be a puddle of goo on the floor. She, obviously, knew he cared about her and liked her, but she had no idea she inspired him so. She's inspired people before, but this is different. She feels good about this inspiration. She feels the same.

"'Everyone?'" Lily cuts in curiously. "Your father isn't alone in his concerns? Doesn't that tell you something, Daniel? This business with Blair is a bad idea. I don't know who else has told you so, but I'm certainly inclined to agree with them."

Dan cuts his eyes away for a moment. He takes a deep breath before answering her. "Serena was here. She was pretty upset."

"Oh God." Lily shakes her head reproachfully.

"Look, I know she's your daughter and she's going to be your primary concern. I get that. I'm sorry she's upset. Blair and I both are. She'll be ok though. She'll come around." Lily scoffs at Dan's attempt to assuage her concern for Serena. "Honestly, this is only about me and Blair. We're not trying to hurt anyone or cause any drama. I get why Serena's upset but she's been in Blair's position before and I hope she'll come around like Blair managed to do. And, I mean, we've been broken up for a long time."

"This is different, Daniel. You and I both know that. Serena relies on you and still has very real, very deep feelings for you." Lily tells him as if Serena's feelings should trump everything in the world.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that she's hurt." He looks around the room thoughtfully before continuing. "The thing is that you're right. This _is_ different. I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't. She'd kill me if she heard me saying this, but, _Blair_ relies on me too." Oh. So he'd noticed that. Blair can feel her cheeks heating up. "Why is that different or less important? _I_ have very real, very deep feelings for Blair. I can't change that. I don't _want_ to change that. I—It's different. I don't know how to explain it." He seems frustrated that, for once, he's at a loss for words. Blair hopes this conversation is almost over so she can pull him aside and kiss him. She's about to burst.

"You don't have to explain it, Dan." Everyone's heads turn as a new voice sounds out in the room. "You don't have to explain anything to anyone. You're following your heart, which is what your father and I raised you to do." Blair sucks in a breath as Allison joins the trio. She puts her arm around her son and kisses his cheek. "I, for one, am very proud to see you stand up for yourself and someone you care about like this. It tells me that we've accomplished our goal of raising a young man." She smiles at Rufus proudly.

"Oh, I'm shocked, Allison, shocked, that you would encourage such reckless behavior." Lily says as she chuckles and rolls her eyes.

"Lily, I am _genuinely _shocked that you and Rufus would encourage the opposite." Allison says pointedly. "This isn't about us though. This is about my son and his girlfriend, whom I think you and Rufus might want to apologize to. She's been standing over there listening for a while." Allison tilts her head back to Blair. Blair can feel her cheeks burn as she turns around and closes her eyes. Apparently if she can't see them, they can't see her.

"No wonder Allison's defending her!" Lily calls out in amusement. "They're two peas in a pod. Just lurking in the shadows."

"Lily…." Rufus admonishes her quietly.

"Oh. Blair." She cringes as she hears the sadness in Dan's voice. She turns around slowly to see them all staring at her. "I'm sorry you had to hear that. I thought you were going to wait in the living room."

Lily laughs before she can even reply. "Are you really surprised about this, Daniel? This is the tip of the iceberg with her and you know it." She turns and heads for the elevator.

Blair clears her throat and joins the group. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Lily. I actually was going to my bedroom for lip gloss. In my haste, I forgot you all were in here. And, well, to be honest, once I heard part of it, I couldn't stop listening. I apologize for my hosting faux pas." She finishes confidently.

Dan laughs as he walks over to give her a hug. "It's ok." He kisses the side of her head before he pulls back. "You don't have to apologize. It did concern you." He takes her hands in his and addresses her quietly, so his family can't hear. "I shouldn't have asked you to wait in a different room. I was just trying to protect you. Protect us, I guess. I didn't want you to get freaked out. I'm sorry."

She reaches out to cup his cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Quite the opposite, Humphrey." She smiles warmly and holds his gaze. Is this party over yet?

Dan returns her smile and is about to respond when Lily clears her throat to interrupt the moment. They all turn to look at her. "Am I really the only one who is concerned about my daughter? Her best friend is dating her first love and no one seems to care." She crosses her arms and turns back toward the elevator. "And, honestly, you would think that your mother could afford a decent elevator repair man, Blair. This is clearly broken." Lily reaches her hand out to hit the button again.

Blair huffs. "It's not broken, Lily. There are probably people coming up." She tugs Dan closer to his parents and the action. "I also resent your implications that we don't care about Serena. Of course, I care about Serena. We all do. I'll be there when she's ready to work through this or if she's never ready then I'll respect her wishes." She looks over at Dan before she continues. She's falling for him. It's too late to stop any of it. She swallows hard. "I also care about Dan though. I don't think it's fair to him—or me—to ask us to stop because of Serena. It's too late for that anyway." She finishes quietly. When she feels Dan slide his hand into hers, she grips it tightly.

Lily rolls her eyes dramatically and turns away from them all. Rufus approaches her and attempts to comfort her but she shrugs him off. "Rufus, no. I need to find Serena. She must be devastated." Allison laughs beside them. Dan coughs beside her to cover his own amusement and she cuts her eyes to him. Apparently, Dan gets his distaste for dramatics from his mother. "Oh, this is just lovely." Lily says as the elevator dings. "Finally….Oh, Serena." She takes a step back as Serena and Eric emerge from the elevator.

"Hi, mom." Serena tilts her head toward her mother and turns to see the crowd. "And everyone else."

Lily steps closer and reaches out to rub Serena's arm. "Are you ok?"

Serena smiles faintly. "Yeah. I will be anyway. Thanks for asking." She clears her throat and looks at Eric. He nods his head in encouragement. "Blair, can we talk alone?" Blair's heart starts to pound. If she gets to keep Dan and Serena everything will be perfect.

"Of course." She smiles softly and gestures toward the stairs.

When they reach Blair's bedroom, she shuts the door behind them. "Serena—"

"Blair, I know what you're going to say. Just let me—let me say what I came back here to say." Blair nods her head in agreement. "I am….I'm sorry. I met up with Eric when I left here. He told me all about you guys. How you guys have had crushes on each other for months and how happy you both are together." She cuts her eyes away before looking back at Blair. "He told me that it's serious. He gave me a reality check about myself too." Serena finishes thoughtfully. "I care about you and Dan. If you guys are happy together then…I don't know." She sighs and drops her head into her hands. "Look, this isn't going to be easy and I'm not exactly happy about it right now, but I'm going to try. I care about you both and I don't want to lose either one of you."

"Serena…" Blair rushes forward and hugs her friend. "I appreciate this so much."

"I—I know." Serena pulls back and smiles sadly. "I still need time, ok?"

"I understand that." Blair smiles genuinely at her friend. "I know you probably don't want to, but if you'd like to stay for the rest of the part—"

"Blair." Serena shakes her head.

"Right." Blair nods and lets the topic go.

* * *

The party's in full swing as Blair and Serena make their way through the living room.

"Ok, well, I'm going to go find my mom so I can leave." Serena smiles and lightly touches Blair's arm. "Enjoy the rest of your night."

"Thank you." Blair's about to thank her for coming around as quickly as she has, when she sees Chuck. By the bar. With Dan's mom. "Oh. Oh no." Blair rushes toward the scene. She cringes when she hears what he's saying as she approaches them. Oh my God. "Chuck. Go home!" She warns him and turns to see that Serena has followed her over. Hopefully she'll be helpful in some capacity. Chuck does seem to listen to her.

"Match, Blair. You've proved you can score Serena's toy." He smirks tauntingly. "Ok, I admit you made me jealous, even if you did have to slum it." She looks quickly back to Allison. She looks horrified. "Let's go back to my place so you can collect your prize." He reaches for her arm and she yanks it away.

"Stop this." The anger in her voice surprises even her. "You're embarrassing me." She just wants this one thing and here he comes to ruin it. He hasn't even asked her about it. He jumped straight into assuming the worst and treating her relationship like nothing more than a ploy to get him.

"What?" He actually seems surprised. "It's not me who's disrespecting these fine people." He gestures to Dan's mom behind him. She blushes at his sarcasm. "It's you! Pretending you care about Dan Humphrey. It's a joke."

"Chuck, no one's laughing. Don't do this." Blair notices the concern in Serena's voice. This is bad.

"Here." Chuck grabs her hand and he won't let go when she tries to pull it back.

"Stop it! This is enough!" She's surprised as he tugs her hand closer and slams her engagement ring box against it. She doesn't even think he knows what he's doing anymore. "No, stop!" She cries out as she finally gets her hand out of his and pushes him and his stupid, cursed ring into one of the cater waiters.

"Dan!" She hears Allison calling out for her him. Oh. She doesn't want Dan in the middle of this. It briefly occurs to her that by being with him, she's automatically dragged him into the middle of this.

"Chuck, go. Home." She steps back from him. "This is enough."

"Hey, what's going on?" She hears Dan's worried voice from behind her. "Chuck, what the hell are you doing?" Dan asks angrily as he comes to stand beside Blair.

"Dan, it's ok. I can handle this." She turns to him, hoping he'll leave, knowing he never would. He gives her a pointed look that confirms that he's not going anywhere.

"'Handle this'?" She flinches at the tone in Chuck's voice. "There's nothing to handle, Blair. I'm not going anywhere without you. Tell the Brooklyn bum where your heart truly lies. You tell him." She can't speak. She should just tell Chuck that it's over between them, for good, but the words won't come out. She can only stare at him in shock and hurt. "Tell me." He says it so desperately that she almost feels guilty for not just telling him. She can tell that he knows though. He wouldn't be here acting like this unless he knew.

"That's enough, Chuck." Dan's voice sounds so angry and serious. "Nate, I really think you should get him out of here." She didn't even know Nate had joined the scene. She blushes as she realizes that the whole party has joined the scene at this point.

"Chuck." Nate comes over and grabs his arm. "Come on, man. It's time to go." She watches as Lily follows Chuck and Nate out of the room.

She lets out a deep breath as she meets Dan's eyes. Her breathing starts coming up short again when what's just happened starts to sink in. She turns to Dan's mom. "I—I haven't even officially met you." She says absently. Her heart is broken. She had one chance to make a good impression. One chance to show Dan's mom that she's more than she used to be and this is what she does with it. God only knows what Chuck said to her before she got to them. "I'm so, so ashamed and sorry." She can feel tears stinging her eyes. Oh. She needs to get it together.

"Blair, hey, you have nothing to be sorry for." Dan tries to reach for her but she steps back. This is her fault. She dragged him into this mess.

"No. No, I—I do." She starts to back away more. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Dan." She turns and runs out of the room.

She's just gotten to her room when she hears a light knock. "Go away, please. I'll be fine." She calls out calmly.

"B, it's me. I'm coming in." Serena says as the door slowly opens. "Hey. Are you ok?" She asks softly as she sits beside her.

"Of all of the things that could have gone wrong, and let's face it there were many, that was the absolute worst." Blair rolls her eyes.

"Come on. Dan is not going to care about that." Serena tells her reassuringly.

"Maybe not, but I'm sure his mother will." Blair closes her eyes and shakes her head. "And who can blame her? I should have known my past with Chuck would come back to haunt me." After a long silence Blair turns to look at Serena.

Serena swallows hard and stands in front of Blair. "You're probably going to hate me for saying this, but as drunk and inappropriate as Chuck was, I still felt a little bad for him."

"What? Why?" Blair's honestly taken aback. She knows they had a fight today and they're on shaky ground but this is too much.

"I don't know. I guess I just always thought you'd end up with Chuck. We all did. I thought your happy ending would be here in Manhattan, in Chuck's empire. Not in a loft in Brooklyn." She shrugs as Blair just stares at her. "I mean I kind of understand where he's coming from too. It hurts, Blair."

"After what you witnessed tonight you're taking his side?" Blair asks in disbelief.

Serena's eyebrows raise in shock. "No. He—"

"And don't think I don't know that you knew about me and Dan long before tonight. Your little spy told us exactly what she was up to _for _you." She narrows her eyes at Serena. "I know you must have still had your suspicions and tipped Gossip Girl off that we were lying about everything that happened at the pink party." She smirks at Serena's guilty face. "I haven't lost my edge because I'm dating Dan. I figured it out the minute I saw the post. I assumed it was because you were hurt, so I let it go, but maybe it was all for Chuck. Either way, you created this mess so no wonder you're defending his reaction to it all."

"Blair, I feel awful—" Serena starts but Blair cuts her off.

"Dan makes me happy. _Happy_!" Blair stares at her for a moment to emphasize her point. "Do you know the last time I felt joy? Chuck had brought me into his darkness for so long I'd forgotten what that felt like. God. You came so close to ruining it. I don't even know, maybe you did. You and Chuck. And now you're defending him."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just that I was hurt, Blair. I won't lie and say I didn't mean to make a mess of your party. I did. I just thought that you would like it if Chuck came and made a scene. You always have in the past. I didn't know it would be that bad or that you cared about Dan as much as you do." Serena looks around sadly. "I thought you still wanted Chuck."

"You just—you have no idea! You have no idea what it's like with him. It wasn't a fairy tale and it wasn't epic. I lost sight of myself. I lost sight of everything. It was damaging and the farthest thing from a happy ending I can imagine. It doesn't even matter though. I know that I don't want that anymore. No matter what. I'm not going back to something like that." She finishes and stands to meet Serena's eyes. "I think you should go."

"Blair, come on." Serena steps toward her but she holds her hands out to stop her.

"I'm—I'm not mad. I have no right to be. I know this isn't easy for you. I get that." Blair tells Serena calmly. "I just need to be alone right now. It's been a long day that went worse than I even thought it would." She swallows the lump in her throat and goes to the bathroom. She shuts the door and leans back against it as she sinks to the floor.

* * *

It's only a few minutes later when there's a knock on the bathroom door. She sighs and rolls her eyes. "Serena, I'm fine. Please leave me alone." She calls out sullenly.

"It's me." She scoots away from the door when she hears Dan's voice. "And I'm not leaving you alone. Not when you sound like that." A beat of silence passes. "May I come in, Blair? Please." His voice is quiet and deep.

She pulls her knees up and rests her head against them. "Yes. Of course." The door opens and Dan smiles at her when he meets her eyes.

"Hi, you." He sits down beside her and rubs her shoulder. "That was pretty intense." He lowers his head so he can look at her better. "Are you ok?" He asks softly.

"I don't know." She raises her head and looks away from him. "Did everyone go running for the hills?"

He chuckles and takes her hand in his. "Uhh, yeah. Pretty much. It was mostly people we didn't know anyway." He strokes her hand with his thumb.

She laughs lightly. "And some very important people." She turns to look at him and she feels so bad that she has to fight the tears. "People from school, our internship, your parents…..I'm so sorry, Humphrey." She bites her lip and shakes her head. "I didn't know he'd cause a scene like that. I thought he'd quietly plot our demise."

He surprises her when he leans forward and kisses her. "Stop apologizing. You didn't do anything." He reaches up and cups her cheek.

"No, I didn't. I was scared of losing people so I didn't do, or say, anything." She leans into his touch. "I shouldn't have let it get to this point." She pulls back and slides away from him.

He slides over too. "It's only been a week, Blair. It doesn't matter anyway. There's no excuse for his reaction or behavior."

"I know. I know that, but, Dan, your mom. I have a long way to go with her and that is the opposite of what needed to happen." She looks at him and her lower lip starts to tremble.

"Oh, hey." He wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer. "She was furious with Chuck, Blair. She knows you're not responsible for that. She still wants to get to know you. She does." He kisses her hair.

"She probably just said that to make you feel better." She mumbles against his chest.

He laughs. "No, she didn't. She even asked if we could all have breakfast in the morning before she heads back to Hudson. She's not judging you because of this. My mom has a brain."

Blair pulls back and looks up at him. "So, she doesn't think that I enjoyed that or that I thrive on drama?" She asks shyly.

He narrows his eyes at her. "Are you asking about my mom or about me?"

She doesn't respond. Instead she gets up and moves out of the bathroom, back into her bedroom.

"Well, either way, the answer is no." She hears Dan answer as he follows her into the room.

"Since when do you placate me, Humphrey?" She eyes him suspiciously as she sits down on her bed.

Dan leans against her make-up table and crosses his arms. "Since never. I'm being honest." He shrugs. "If you need me to prove it, I will." She raises her eyebrows expectantly. "Ok. Why didn't you say anything to Chuck when he told you to tell me where your heart is?"

"I—I don't know. I didn't want to hurt him." She looks at Dan to see his eyes growing wide with concern. She crosses to him and wraps her arms around his neck. "My heart is with you, Dan. You know that." She kisses him softly. "It seemed cruel to tell him that in that moment. Plus I just wanted him to leave."

"That's a good point." He kisses her again. "He's gone now though and I'm exhausted." He brushes her hair from her face. "I'm sure you must be too. Let's go to the loft." He kisses her more deeply this time.

"Mmmm, ok." Her smile falters as a thought occurs to her.

"What is it?" Dan asks and rests his hands on her hips to tug her closer to him. He kisses her forehead gently.

"Well, it's just if you were thinking about my lack of comment and you know how I feel about you, I'm sure Chuck is thinking similar things. Only far more grandiose, of course." She taps her fingers against his shoulder in thought. "I have to go over there. I have to tell him that I'm—that I'm with you." Whoa. He does not need to know that she's falling for him.

Dan smirks and narrows his eyes at her. "He knows you're with me, Waldorf. That's what his show was all about."

"Stop messing with me." She goes to step out of his arms but he holds her tighter. "I mean that he needs to know that you have my heart." She kisses him sweetly. "And that that's not changing….anytime soon." She adds softly and smiles at him shyly.

"Come here." He grabs her face and captures her bottom lip between his lips. She sighs and moves closer to him as his tongue pushes into her mouth. He breaks away and rests his forehead against hers. "You know I feel the same, right?" He pulls back to look in her eyes.

She smiles widely and nods. "I do now." She kisses him long and slow. "Mmmm, but I really do need to go over there. He needs to know. The longer I put this off the worse he'll be."

"Blair. No way. You're not going over there tonight. He's drunk and angry." She starts to protest but he keeps going. "I agree that you should tell him, for all of our sakes, but not tonight."

"Dan, it'll be fine. It has to be done." She successfully steps out of his arms this time and goes to her closet to find her coat. She laughs as she looks through her closet. "It's so cute how you thought you could tell me what to do."

"Oh, trust me, I would never tell you what to do, but, Blair, I'm serious. This is a bad idea." She comes out of the closet to find him leaning against the wall, waiting for her. She ignores him and goes to her mirror to put her coat on. She shivers when he wraps one arm around her from behind and uses the other hand to push the collar of her coat aside so he can kiss her neck. "Mmmm, this is a very convenient hairstyle for me."

"Do you think I'm an amateur, Humphrey?" She asks breathily.

She feels his laugh against her neck. "It's wild and curly." He places an open, wet kiss on her neck. "Was that for me too?" He sucks and nibbles on a spot before running his tongue over it lightly.

"Yes." It comes out on a moan and she grips his hand tightly.

He raises his head and locks his eyes with hers in the mirror. "Let's go home and have some wine and we can listen to music and I can show you how much I appreciate your thoughtfulness all night long…." He whispers the last part against her ear as he laughs softly. Her eyes close and her head rolls to the side.

He leaves a trail of kisses down her neck. "Dan." She gasps out. He moans against her neck and turns her around quickly. His lips crash into hers and he backs her against the wall. "Oh!" She cries out as his hands slide under her dress and up her thighs until they find her underwear. She surrenders to him as he kneels down to slide her underwear off. That's not true. She surrendered the minute he started trying to seduce her.

* * *

They're lying on the floor, breathing heavy, clothes askew. She still can't relax. "Dan—"

"Blair, no. Please. You can talk to him tomorrow." He rolls over and leans on his arm to look at her. "Why do you have to do this tonight? Why are you giving him so much power?"

She sits up quickly and searches for her underwear. "I'm not. I want to focus on us and to do that I need to make sure he is quelled." She spots her underwear and stands up to grab them.

He sighs loudly behind her. She looks at him to see he's already standing again, fastening his pants. "It sure feels like you are. Why worry about him at all? See, that's what makes me nervous. Why do you care so much?"

She groans loudly. "Dan, I need him to understand how I feel about you. I need him to know there is no point in messing with me or with you or with us because, no matter what, I do not want him anymore." She grabs her bag off of the bed and storms out of her room. "I am trying to protect us, not him." She finishes in annoyance as they make their way down the stairs. "Although, at this moment, I have no idea why I'm even interested in doing so."

"Fine." Dan says as they stop in front of the elevator.

She cuts her eyes at him and crosses her arms. "You know, I think Lily was right." She pushes the button again. "This thing is taking forever."

"I don't think it helps anything if you keep hitting it." He tells her calmly, which only infuriates her more. He puts his hands up in surrender when he looks over to see her glaring at him.

When they finally make it outside and Dan gets her a cab, she's surprised when he tries to climb in beside her.

"Humphrey, what are you doing?" She lifts her hand and presses it against his chest to stop him from getting in.

He looks down at her hand and back to her with large, animated eyes. "I'm going with you."

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "Now_ that _is a bad idea. Chuck will definitely lose it if you're with me to break the news. Go home. I'll meet you there soon." She goes to pull the door closed but he's got some kind of death grip on it. She looks up to glare at him. Again.

"You don't really think I'm letting you go over there alone do you?" He peers down at her with serious eyes.

"I thought you trusted me!" He can't go with her. Chuck will be so preoccupied with his presence that he won't even hear her.

"Oh, I trust you. I don't trust him. Unlike everyone else in this city, I haven't forgotten all of the stunts he's pulled over the years." He looks at her pointedly. "Scoot over." He could just play video games with Nate while she speaks to Chuck. She relents and rests her hand on his thigh when he sits beside her. She smiles to herself when he rests his hand on top of hers.

**A/N 2: I know I left out some key reactions, but, do not fret, I will definitely be covering those in upcoming chapters! I'll be back soon!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Parts of this chapter were very difficult to write, while others just happened. It's a beast and I am sorry about that lol I debated splitting it in two, but, in the end, it seemed to work best all together. Quick disclaimer: Part of this was lifted from the show. And, as always, thank you for your lovely responses! They mean a lot! **

Blair looks over at Dan as the elevator takes them to Chuck and Nate's suite. He's leaning against the wall. He looks exhausted. She reaches forward and pulls the emergency stop button.

He furrows his brow. "What are you doing?"

She goes to him and cups his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into her touch. He opens his eyes when she starts to speak. "Thank you for coming with me. I know I complained, but I appreciate it." She smiles and presses her lips to his.

He rolls his eyes and smiles. "Stop sucking up." He kisses her again. "I already told you I'd wait with Nate….even though I don't like that idea. It really feels like we're catering to his whims. Which I hate."

"It's not catering to his whims if it's in the interest of self-preservation." She tells him casually.

He groans and leans his head back against the wall. "When you say things like that it makes me realize that I am never going to stop wanting to hate him. Why is he such a land mine?"

"Dan, you wouldn't like it if your ex-girlfriend, whom you still had feelings for, showed up to tell you someone else had her heart…. with that someone." She's trying to be fair to Chuck. He is her friend and he deserves the facts so he can move on and leave her alone. There's no need to rub his face in her happiness, even if he was a jerk tonight.

"Ok, I guarantee you none of my ex-girlfriends' boyfriends would feel the need to accompany said ex-girlfriend to tell me something like that." She frowns. She really hates it when he's logical. "That little display tonight did him no favors with me. My mom told me what happened before I came in the room." He moves her arm from around his waist and takes her hand in his. He looks down at their hands and rubs his thumb over the back of hers. He raises his eyes to hers again. "He's got to stop being possessive of you. It was unhealthy when you were together, but now it's even worse. It's like he thinks because you were in love, it's some kind of claim over everything about you." He says in annoyance. She blushes and looks away. She knows what he's referencing. He notices her reaction and squeezes her hand. "I'm sorry." He closes his eyes and sighs loudly. "That wasn't meant to be an attack against you, obviously. It's just—you know how I feel about that situation."

"I know. I know. I agree." She looks away, feeling guilty. She can feel him studying her so she looks back at him. "Dan, it's just a weird situation that I helped create, honestly. I'm trying to correct it the best way I can think of. I want him to move on and leave me alone. He needs to hear that from me. He just does." She says like a woman resigned to her fate. It makes her uneasy. She can tell from Dan's narrowed eyes and pursed lips that he's thinking the same thing. He cuts his eyes away quickly and then meets hers again.

"Ok, ok." He smiles faintly, clearly displeased with his surrender. "I mean Chuck's going to see me at some point." He eyes her suspiciously. "Wait. I'm not like staying the night with Nate, am I? Because I really should have freshened up if that's the case." He flashes her a playful smile. A happy laugh comes bubbling out of her. She feels relieved that the tension is broken. She just wants to deal with Chuck and be done with it and go back to the life she's starting to create with Dan.

She wraps her arms around him tighter. "Oh, no. Not without me." She raises an eyebrow and smirks.

She laughs even louder when his mouth falls open in feigned shock. "Miss Waldorf….You are bad." She lowers her eyes and when she raises them to meet his again she runs her tongue along her lip. He laughs lightly and lowers his head to kiss her neck. When he raises his head again, his eyes are so soft and warm. "I know we were just talking about possessive behavior, but I don't want to share you. In that sense." He brushes her curls from her face gently and smiles. "For the record."

"I don't want to be shared. In that sense." She smiles back at him. "For the record." He presses a long kiss to her cheek and her eyes close as her smile grows. His eyes look so happy and bright when he looks at her again. It makes her heart jump in delight. She does that to him. She'll never get used to that. She runs her fingers down the side of his face. "Seriously, it'll all be ok when I come get you so it won't matter, at that point, if Chuck knows you're there. I just need to explain it to him. I'll have him disengaged by the end of the night." She smiles brightly and turns to push the button back so the elevator will move again.

"Hold on." She giggles when Dan grabs her and pulls her to him. He kisses her slowly. His hands slide into her hair. "Make this fast, ok?" He kisses her again. "I want to take you…." She feels a wave of heat course through her when he meets her eyes. He kisses her once more. She grips his jacket lapels when his tongue slides into her mouth. He pulls back too quickly. "Home." He smirks and kisses her cheek.

She sighs and leans against him. "Trust me. I want to be here less than you." She leans up and kisses his jaw.

Dan scoffs. "Yeah, I really doubt that."

She runs a hand through his hair. "You're right. I'll make it up to you." He raises his eyebrows. "The next time I stop an elevator, I'll make it worth your while." She smiles wickedly. His eyes move to her mouth and he licks his lips.

"I'm not sure that helped me." He kisses her lips and she swears she's about to swoon when he pulls away. "Let's just get this over with." He kisses her one last time and groans as he moves to push the button to start the elevator.

She quirks her mouth so she won't laugh as the elevator doors open.

He looks at her pointedly as he moves in the opposite direction, toward Nate's room. She nods and smiles as she goes to the living room to look for Chuck.

She walks into the room apprehensively. It's completely dark. She ignores the voice that's screaming at her that Dan's right; this is a bad idea tonight. She doesn't see or hear Chuck. Maybe she should just leave.

"You came." His voice startles her. She turns to see Chuck leaning against the glass divider.

She lets out an annoyed breath. Somehow finding him like this upsets her even more. "How could you do that to me, Chuck?"

He leans forward sloppily. "I'm sorry I ruined your shot at mediocrity." She casts her eyes down in annoyance. He, fortunately, hasn't ruined anything. "Let's face it, you were never going to be happy with Humdrum Humphrey."

"Chuck." She says warningly. He doesn't get it at all. She's already happy with Dan; happier than she's ever been. She cringes as he stands and staggers toward her. He is so drunk.

"I need you, Blair." He takes a breath and moves closer to her. "Like I never have before." She can only look at him sadly. She's furious at him, but she doesn't want to hurt him. "Everything I thought I believed about my father, everything I thought I wanted to be, what I needed to be for him, it was all based on lies." She feels sorry for him. He's finally realized that chasing his father's legacy was disastrous for him, and for them, but it's simply too late. He takes another deep breath and she can see he's getting ready for his epic declaration. "The only thing that's ever been real is me and you. And you know that. That's why you came back to me." His mouth is attacking her neck before she can even think.

She tries to push him away, but he doesn't stop. "I'm falling in love with Dan. He has my heart, Chuck. Completely." She tells him nervously, but he stops kissing her neck.

He looks so angry and hurt when he steps back. "You can't be in love with somebody else. You're mine." He's not looking her in the eyes and it's making her more nervous.

"I wanted to be. I wanted it so badly, but not anymore." She can feel her breathing speeding up. He looks so angry. She shouldn't be here.

"You're mine, Blair!" He grabs her and turns her toward the glass divider. She cringes at the force and violence.

She's in shock. "No." She cries out softly. He forces her onto the floor against the glass divider and holds her there. Her heart is slamming against her chest. She's terrified as she struggles against him. "Stop it, Chuck!" He stops and stares at her. He's just so angry. She thinks he's as shocked that it's come to this as she is. It's too late though. They can't turn back. She looks at him desperately and tries to appeal to him one last time. "I said it's over." She says quietly.

"It's not!" He yells out and she's not sure what his fist is aiming for but she moves her head out of the way. She closes her eyes tight, hoping it will all stop. She feels a piece of glass slide against her face and raises her hand to the spot. It hurts but she doesn't think it's deep. God. She doesn't know. Oh God. Panic floods her. Dan. Dan is here. Nate is here. She opens her eyes and sees that the force of the punch and all of the flying glass has distracted Chuck. She pushes him completely off of her and gets up to go find Dan. She's just about to start screaming for him when she hears him.

"Blair!" He nearly runs right into her. She can't speak or even breathe. She's in shock. His eyes are wide and concerned. "Blair, what—what's going on?" He looks at her appearance, at her face and he bends his knees to look at her. He grabs her head to get a better look at her. "Your face….What the…" He looks to where Chuck is and back to her. She looks around the room in terror. She just wants to leave. He covers his face with his hands. "Oh my God. I'm going to kill him." No. No, no, no. He starts to walk toward the room, but she grabs his arm and Nate moves in front of him.

"He is not worth the trouble." Nate looks at him seriously. "Take her and get out of here."

Dan doesn't seem convinced to take Nate's suggestion. He's still looking intently in the room where she left Chuck. He shakes his head. "No way. I can't do that." He moves his arm out of Blair's grasp and pushes Nate aside, knocking him into a table. Blair's heart is beating rapidly as she watches Dan move purposefully into the room. Her voice won't work and she looks back at Nate for help.

"Dan, come on. Don't do this!" Nate calls as he follows Dan into the room.

Dan doesn't even look back at them as he shakes his head. "No." When he walks in the room he pauses as he looks at the broken divider and all of the glass on the floor. He looks back at her with the saddest eyes. "Jesus Christ." He looks at Nate before walking toward Chuck. "Get up." He says as he stands over him.

"Humphrey, you win this round. Just leave." Chuck says sullenly as he leans back against the wall again.

"Get. Up." Dan tells him slowly, seriously. Blair's never seen him this upset. The only time she's ever seen him this close to losing it was last year with Jenny. Blair's surprised when Chuck slowly, clumsily rises to his feet. As soon as he's on his feet, Dan has him by his lapels and pinned against the glass divider. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't mean to—" Chuck starts to explain but Dan cuts him off.

"I didn't ask you what you meant to do!" He slams him against the divider again. "What did you do to her?!"

Chuck leers at him for a few moments before turning guilty eyes to her. "I'm sorr—"

Dan grabs Chuck's face and jerks it in the opposite direction. "Do not look at her, do not talk to her, do not touch her, do not even think about her ever again. Don't come _near_ her." With one last, hard slam into the divider, Dan lets go of Chuck and makes his way back to Blair and Nate. Blair can see he's still fuming.

"You seem to be forgetting one important part of the story, Humphrey." Oh God. She'd give anything for Chuck to shut up. Dan keeps moving toward her, though, never taking his eyes off of her. He doesn't seem interested in Chuck's comment, but she knows it's going to be a blow. She reaches her hand out to Dan, hoping he'll get to her faster. He needs to get out of here. "She came to me tonight. She always comes back to me." Dan stops walking and turns around so fast that, despite her best efforts, she can't grab him in time. She doesn't think Nate even tried to stop him this time.

Dan lands a good punch that sends Chuck back against the wall. He grabs him before he can slide to the floor completely and uses his forearm to pin him to the wall. "I swear to God, you are the most worthless piece of shit on this planet. You scared her. You _hurt_ her. And now you're posturing." Dan's voice is so angry. It makes her nervous. He can't get hurt or in trouble over her. He can't.

She can feel tears slipping from her eyes. She wipes at them hastily. "Dan." She says it so quietly that she doesn't think anyone heard her, but Nate wraps his arm around her and Dan tilts his head in her direction and she sees his body lose some of the tension instantly.

Dan eyes Chuck and steps away from him. The glass cracks under his feet as he moves. She flinches and Nate's arm tightens around her. Dan stops moving and looks at the all of the glass on the floor. "God, Chuck, you could've…." He takes a deep breath and shakes his head before looking in his eyes. "You're lucky she's here right now."

Blair approaches Dan and places a hand on his back. She has to get him out of here. "Dan, please." She says softly and grips his arm with her free hand. She can't take this anymore. "I want to go home. Please." She's taken aback by the sound of her voice. She sounds so scared and desperate.

He turns around to look at her. His eyes soften as he takes her in. "Ok. Of course. Let's go." He nods his head. He stops to look at Chuck one last time. "Leave her alone."

They walk out of the room toward the elevator. He flexes his hands and paces back and forth the entire time they're waiting. She's terrified Chuck is going to come out here. She won't be able to control Dan if Chuck comes near them again. She can't have Dan getting hurt or into trouble. She just can't. She'd never forgive herself. And she needs him. Her legs start to shake. She says a silent prayer of gratitude when the elevator finally dings.

Dan waits for her to get in and then follows her inside. He immediately hits the button to close the door and leans his head back against the wall. She lets out a sob of relief when the doors close. It's over. It's all over. She can feel his eyes on her but she can't look at him. She should have listened to him. She shouldn't have come here tonight. Now she's brought him into yet another mess. Chuck was so angry. She honestly didn't know what was going to happen. She slams her eyes shut to stop the tears. She won't cry anymore.

"It's ok, Waldorf. You're going to be ok." He says it so softly and tenderly that it causes another sob to escape. "You're alright now." She opens her eyes to look at him and sees that he's leaning against the elevator wall, facing her.

She nods slowly. "How—how bad is it?" She raises her fingers to her cheek, just below the cut. "Are there anymore?"

"No, the one on your cheek is it, as far as I can tell." He shuts his eyes for a moment before looking at her again. "I don't think it's too bad. Don't touch it though."

"Yeah." She says absently and turns back toward the doors. "Yeah."

The doors open and Dan waits for her to move before he does. She feels frozen to the spot. Now that they're out of the suite, the weight of the night is hitting her. Her legs won't work.

"Blair?" Dan asks and she can hear the concern in his voice.

It propels her forward and she moves out of the elevator, Dan close behind her.

"I-I want to go home." Her voice comes out low and scratchy. She can't think. She's still shocked. She stops to look at him and repeats the words quietly. "I want to go home."

"Ok." He goes to put an arm around her but she flinches. She's not sure who it surprises more.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that." She shakes her head and raises a shaky hand to her forehead.

"No." He says adamantly, emotionally. "Blair, that's what you're not going to do. You're not apologizing for anything." He rubs his hands over his face. This is hard for him. She feels terrible that he's been dragged into her drama with Chuck. He deserves better than this mess. She'll make sure he gets better. Chuck is out of her life. Forever. She realizes he's been staring at her, waiting for her to move or speak. She's about to start walking when he gently, hesitantly reaches for her hand. She doesn't flinch this time. "Whatever you're thinking, please stop. Nothing that happened tonight is your fault. None of it. I would-I would never think that." She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out so she just nods her head. "Let's get out of this place." He tightens his grip on her hand and leads her out of the door.

He quickly hails a cab. He holds the door for her and she feels his hand on her back as she gets in. He climbs in after her. Her hand quickly finds his. He looks at her and squeezes her hand. He reluctantly takes his eyes off of her and starts telling the driver the address to her penthouse. No. She doesn't want to go there.

"Dan." She interrupts quietly. He turns back to her. "I don't want to go there."

"Oh. Ok. Where do you want to go?" He places his other hand over their intertwined hands and strokes hers.

"I-I want to go with you. I meant you." Her voice catches on the last word. He brings her hand to his lips and places a tender kiss there.

"The plan was never for me to leave you. Never." He tells her and she feels reassured. She feels silly for thinking he might. He would never leave her alone after a night like this. Unless she asked. She would never ask though. "Where do you want to go? Hmm?"

"The loft." He smiles at her and gives the new directions to the driver.

He settles into the seat beside her when he finishes. He turns his head to look at her and then he holds her hair away from her face so he can look at it. "I can't see very well but it's not too bad. I'll clean it when we get home. You'll be ok." He sighs and places a gentle kiss just below the cut.

His mouth moves to her ear and he whispers to her. "It's a nice little face. The nicest." She wants to laugh at the reference, but a sob comes out instead. "Hey, hey. It's ok." He gently turns her face towards his so he can wipe her tears. He does it so delicately she almost doesn't feel his fingertips. The sweetness of the gesture, after the anger she just experienced, is soothing. She rests her head over his heart and settles there for the ride to Brooklyn. She tries to hold herself together, while Dan kisses her hair and rubs her back.

She's standing in the middle of the loft when it all hits her. She thinks Dan took her coat and bag before he went to make tea, but she can't really remember. Her mind is racing.

Her parents missed her party. They knew how important it was to her.

Dan's father thinks he's making a mistake by being with her. She was humiliated in front of his mother.

Her best friend tried to sabotage her.

Even Nate has his doubts about her intentions.

No one in her life believes in her or them. Everyone thinks she's awful. Except for Dan.

She winces when a tear falls from her eye and stings her cut. She doesn't know if she'll ever forget the fear she felt in those moments. The violence and the uncertainty….

Her hands start to shake as it all catches up to her. She can't keep it in any longer. Her legs give out as she sobs. She sinks to floor and lowers her head to her hands. She vaguely hears clattering in the kitchen.

"Blair…" She looks up to see Dan sitting beside her on the floor, panic etched across his features and worry in his eyes. She sobs and without a word he pulls her into his arms. "Shh. It's ok. You're ok." She turns her head into his chest. She grips his arms as if her life depends on it. "I've got you. I've got you." He tightens his arms around her and kisses her head until she stops crying.

It's long after her breathing has returned to normal before either one of them moves. She pulls back slightly to look up at him. "Dan." Her throat hurts when she tries to speak.

He jumps slightly and looks down at her. "Yeah?" He runs his hand down her arm.

"Thank you." She leans up to press a kiss to his cheek.

He strokes her hair lightly. "Don't thank me. You don't have to thank me for caring about you." He shakes his head sadly. "You're the most—Blair, if you're hurt or upset, there's nowhere else I want to be." He presses a soft kiss to her forehead.

She can feel her eyes starting to water again. She smiles at him. "That's good because I don't know what I'd do without you." She casts her eyes downward.

He slips a finger under her chin and raises it so he can look in her eyes. "You never have to find out." He starts to lean in to kiss her, but hesitates and locks eyes with her. She nods and closes the distance. He pulls away and kisses her cheek, her temple, her hair. He pulls her to him tight. "I promise." He kisses the side of her head. She wraps her arms around him as tight as she can. He lets go of her and kisses her lips chastely. "We should go clean that cut." She can feel him tense as he looks at her cheek. She nods as she runs her hands down his back and arms, hoping to relax him. He smiles. "I know what you're doing. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Dan." She furrows her brow and shakes her head. "Don't. It's ok." It is her fault he's tense after all. She doesn't say that though. She knows he'll just try to make her feel better. He clears his throat and rises to his feet. He helps her to her feet and they make their way to the bathroom.

"I guess it's a good thing you had your maid service come here." He jokes as he flips on the light in the bathroom. He turns around when she doesn't respond. "Sorry. This is…not the time for a joke." He runs his hand through his hair.

She smiles and wraps her arms around him. "I was thinking the same thing, to be honest." She says as she rests her head on his shoulder. He hugs her tight and she can feel his laugh against her chest. She closes her eyes and pulls herself closer to him.

She doesn't know how long they've been like that when he rubs her back and pulls her from the moment. "Are you ok, sweetheart?" He asks quietly. Her heart breaks at the fear in his voice that he probably hopes she didn't pick up on.

She squeezes him tight. "I will be, Dan." She lets herself stay in his arms for another moment before pulling back and cupping his cheek. "You're perfect." She presses her lips to his and steps away from him. "I need to get out of this dress and take a bath. I just want to wash this day away." She walks out of the bathroom and goes to his bedroom. She tries to get her zipper down and sighs in frustration when it won't work. She spends all of this money on these dresses and she can never get out of them. "Dan!"

"Let me guess…." He walks into the room with a smirk on his face.

"Oh, I'm sure this is just daunting for you." She rolls her eyes playfully and turns around. He laughs lightly and undoes her zipper. He moves it off of her shoulders and down her arms.

"Oh." He says it so quietly she almost doesn't hear him.

She turns to look at him and steps out of her dress. "What is it?"

He moves closer to her and runs his hand lightly over her arm. She looks down and gasps. "You've got bruises." He looks at her nervously.

She shakes her head as she inspects them more. "I didn't even know they were there." She shrugs and moves to the closet to grab her robe. "They'll go away." She finishes undressing and puts the robe on. She smiles at him as she starts taking the pins out of her hair.

"Ok." He looks at her skeptically and nods his head. "I'm going to finish running your bath." He looks at her one last time on his way out. She grabs the discarded pins and puts her hair in a bun. She takes a deep breath and sits on the bed. She's ok. Everything's ok. Everything is ok. She nods to herself and goes to the bathroom.

* * *

She's been soaking in the tub for a long time. Dan went to finish the tea as soon as she came back. She thinks he knew she needed some time alone. He probably did too. She's very lucky to have him in her life. He's an amazing friend and, somehow, an even better boyfriend. She's playing with the bubbles idly, thinking of him, when he knocks lightly on the door.

She turns her head to smile at him as he cracks the door open and sticks his head inside to look at her. "Waldorf, I have your tea and supplies to clean that cut when you're ready." He starts to leave again.

She pouts her lips. "Humphrey, where are you going?"

He immediately comes back in and smiles. "You miss me already?"

She smiles and bites her lip. She nods her head. He moves further into the room and sits beside the tub, facing her. She brings her hand out of the water and hangs it over the edge, hoping he'll grab it. He does. She smiles at him warmly. "That's better." She closes her eyes and sinks a little deeper into the water. He kisses her hand and her eyes flutter open to look at him. "Hmmm. This is nice."

He nods. "It is." He smiles at her, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

She squeezes his hand in hers. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Me?" He pulls his head back in shock. "Blair, I'm—don't worry about me right now. Seriously. This isn't the time for one of your relationship equality kicks." He laughs and kisses her hand.

She takes a deep breath and looks into the water surrounding her. "It just seems like you have something on your mind. That's all." She raises her eyes to him slowly.

This time he takes a deep breath and looks away from her. "I always have something on my mind." He says evasively. She forms her mouth into a straight line and stares at him. "Ok, I just—when I saw those bruises it freaked me out. I honestly felt like someone punched me in my stomach." She swallows hard and sits up in the tub.

"I'm sorry." She brings her other hand out of the tub and takes his between hers.

"No, God—don't be sorry. You, literally, have nothing to apologize for about tonight. Ok?" He looks at her, waiting for confirmation of her understanding.

She smiles in spite of herself. "Ok."

He exhales loudly. "Ok. It freaked me out and it made me so sad and then really angry. I had to go make the tea because I was basically bouncing off the walls at that point." He shakes his head. "I think you needed some space too though. You always forget how well I know you." He smiles at her. No, she doesn't. She just doesn't always let him know that she knows. "You acted like it wasn't a big deal, which, of course, means that you're not handling it well, or at all. That freaked me out, made me sad, mad, etcetera, all over again." He looks away for a moment before looking back at her. "A, uh, a thought crossed my mind during my emotional rollercoaster." He takes a deep breath before asking. "Was this the first time something like that happened, Blair?"

Her eyes go wide. "Yes. Dan, yes. He'd never been abusive with me before." She says adamantly.

"Physically abusive." Dan adds mostly to himself as he looks down at the floor. "I just—" He groans and covers his face with his free hand. "I should stop talking about this. I really should. I don't think it's helping either one of us."

"If you need to talk, then talk." She tells him quietly.

He lets out another long breath and laughs lightly. "We both know I always need to talk and that it drives you crazy. I'm not here to drive you crazy….tonight." He winks at her.

She laughs and brings his hand to her lips. "Fair enough." She draws her knees up and rests against them. He's right. She's not handling this well. She's pushed the night and the cut and the bruises and the fear and the disappointment out of her mind. He's here and she can focus on him, for the most part, so she does.

He shakes their interlocked hands and it snaps her back to reality. "Blair?"

She slowly moves her gaze to him. "You're right." He nods slightly and shrugs. "I'm handling this by not handling it." She clears her throat. "Tonight was one of the worst nights of my life. That would be sad in any context, but tonight was supposed to be about us and our families and friends and….happiness. It was the exact opposite of that on nearly every level. No one was happy for us. My family didn't even come to the party. Serena's trying, but, I don't know how that'll pan out in the end. And Chuck….well, no need to rehash that." She sighs deeply. "My God, even Nate gave me a hard time. Nate!" She laughs and looks at the ceiling, hoping to waylay this round of tears. "What kind of monster engenders mistrust from Nate?"

When she looks back at him, he has a confused, almost upset look on his face. "What are you talking about? Nate was excited. I mean he was bewildered, he is Nate, but excited."

She winces at her slip. "I wasn't going to tell you because he was justified in his concerns and I'm working on him, but when you left the room he asked me about my motives. He wasn't convinced with my answers or actions, but I think, in time, he'll come around completely. Who knows, maybe tonight's episode with Chuck will bring him around more quickly." She says sardonically. She shrugs and leans back against the tub. Silence settles over the room. This concerns her. Dan is never quiet and she just dropped a bomb that his best friend, one of her oldest friends, gave her the run around about them tonight. She looks at him hesitantly. Yeah. He's not happy.

"That's not funny." He says seriously. "Don't joke about what Chuck did."

"Ok, ok." She sinks into the tub a little lower. "You're right. I'm sorr—" His eyes are wide when he looks at her. "Nope. I am not sorry." She sits back up in the tub.

"Is that why you drank the scotch?" He eyes her curiously.

She looks away guiltily. "Yes."

He drops her hand and rises to his feet. "You know….I don't know….This is…" Oh. Dan Humphrey can't form a sentence. Not even an awkward one. This is bad. "I really don't understand your friends, and I guess my friends." He paces around the small bathroom a couple of times. "They grew up with you! They know you and yet they don't know you _at all_."

"That's just it, Dan. They know me. They know what I'm capable of and they know my usual motives….or, well, motive." She interrupts meekly. They're just used to her scheming and being focused on Chuck. They don't understand that she's changed.

"Well, I know you too. You're not a monster and you don't play with the emotions of people you care about. I mean, unless they've provoked you or—or you're trying to help them in….your way." She's trying not to laugh. He rolls his eyes. "The point is, you're sensitive and you take everything to heart and they just continue to spew whatever they want at you. It's not right." He finally stops and just stares at her. "You're not a monster. Nate doesn't think you're a monster. Though Nate _is_ a jackass." He places his hands on his hips and leans closer to her. "You know, I think if I hadn't been there tonight, he would have just let Chuck get away with...with everything." He's probably not wrong. "And, you know what else? I've been annoyed with him and Chuck since like last week." Last week? What? She furrows her brow at him, a small smile on her face. He really sounds like a teenage girl right now. It's making her heart lighter for some reason. "I was cooking you dinner, really basic, boyfriend 101, and you were practically blown away. It made my heart break. Did they even appreciate you?"

Her breath catches and she reaches for his hand. "Dan, they appreciated me in their ways. That's all. It wasn't all drama and horror. There were good times." He looks unconvinced. She laughs lightly and tugs him closer to the tub. He sits down beside the tub again. She leans on the side and focuses on his eyes. "Dan, there were good times with them. They were thoughtful in their own ways. Don't worry about my past or feel like you have to make up for it in some way." He blushes and darts his eyes away. "Um." His eyes dart back to hers and she's trying to figure out the best way to say this. "I think, though, that I did struggle with feeling lost and unvalued. Obviously. Underneath it all, I knew that those were not good relationships, not the right ones for me, anyway. I completely lost myself in….in all of it." She lowers her eyes. "I think this one is different. I feel like I found myself again, or I'm starting to. Or maybe you found me." She looks back at him and blushes. "You do and anticipate everything that I need. I don't even think it's anything crazy or cosmic or you doing anything you don't normally do, it's just we have similar languages and we realized it. We found each other. Which might seem false to some people, but, I think it's true. Maybe it's the way I was raised. I never wanted for anything material. I had more than enough stuff. I never felt I had enough love or approval though." She's not even editing herself. She's giving him her stream of consciousness and it's terrifying and freeing. "Maybe it's the way you were raised and that your family taught you how to love. How to really love, how to express love. I could search and search and fight endlessly with Chuck or Nate to learn how to communicate to each other that we really cared, but, with you, it just happens. You encourage me and support me. You laugh with me. You like spending time with _me. _You appreciate my opinion, not because I'm Blair Waldorf, it's probably in spite of that most of the time, but because you listen to it and you think it's worthwhile. And I think—I hope that all of that is true for you too. I hope I make you feel everything that you make me feel." She cups his cheek. "It just seems like….I don't know." She shrugs and looks back at him with a smile. "We found each other." He's leaning over the tub embracing her before she knows it. She laughs out in surprise. "Dan, you're going to get soaked." She really likes the shirt he's wearing so, of course, he has to ruin it.

"I don't care." He whispers. She finds that she doesn't really care either. She lets out a short, appreciative laugh and wraps her arms around him. "I don't care." He kisses the back of her neck. "You're getting it. You're really starting to get it." He squeezes her one last time before pulling back to look at her. "We're going to be ok." For the first time since they left Chuck's, his eyes are bright and happy again. She adores him.

She smiles and presses her lips to his gently. "Yeah, I think we are." She's closer than ever to believing herself when she says it too. "Hey, will you give me a minute? Let me get dressed and stuff? I don't even know how long I've been in this tub."

"Yeah, of course." He rises to his feet and bends to press a kiss to her head. "I'll be in the living room." He smiles back at her one last time before leaving the bathroom.

She takes a deep breath and gets out of the tub. She wraps a towel around herself. She wipes the fog from the mirror and studies herself in it. She brushes her fingers just below the cut on her cheek. She'll be ok. She has Dan and, for the first time in a long time, she has herself. She's back. She smiles a small smile at the girl looking back at her in the mirror. Every day the girl falls away a little more and the woman becomes more prominent. This night was undoubtedly awful, but she'll be ok. While she was scared in the moment, when she was unsure of what Chuck would do, she's not scared now. She has Dan and, even if she didn't, she's never going to put herself in a situation like that again. She clears her throat and steps away from the mirror.

She finishes drying off and puts her robe on. She's really working on having confidence in him and in them. They're so good together and if she could just take him to Paris and never have to deal with Serena or Chuck or pseudo-friends or parents again, they'd make it forever. Life, however, is not a vacuum. Unfortunately. So she'll keep working. She steps out of the bathroom and goes to Dan's bedroom to change.

She walks into the living room and sees he's reading. A familiar scene, she thinks warmly. She sits by him and smiles at him as he discards the book.

"Good as new." She says happily and leans against his chest.

He wraps an arm around her lightly. "Not too new, I hope." He kisses her hair and chuckles. "Can I finally clean that cut now?"

"Yes, Dr. Humphrey." She pulls back and kisses his cheek before he moves the table closer. He adjusts her face so he can see it better. His eyes catch hers for a heavy moment before she looks away. She winces when he dabs the peroxide on it.

"Sorry." He says softly.

"It's ok. It's not your fault." For some reason, the words still both of them. He clears his throat and spreads the Neosporin on a cotton swab.

"Ok, now you just need this." Her eyes get large as he opens an ugly, tan band-aid.

"Oh, no." She shakes her head and pulls away. "That is not going on my face."

He rolls his eyes. "Blair, come on. You have to keep it clean."

"It'll stay clean! I'm not going to go roll around on a bathroom floor anytime soon." She huffs. "It'll hurt when you peel that thing off. No way. It's hideous too." She pouts her lips.

He tosses the band-aid aside. "You're the boss." He pulls her to him and reclines against the sofa.

"Dan?" She pulls back to peer at him. He raises his eyebrows. "If you have a smaller, less offensive bandage, you may use that." He laughs and sits up to rummage through his makeshift first aid kit. He holds one up and turns back to her. It's much smaller. "Open it." He shakes his head and tears it open, revealing a far less horrifying option. "Ok." She turns her head so he can place it over the cut.

"There." He leans forward and kisses her cheek. He grabs her again and leans back against the sofa.

"Dan?" She says quietly.

"Hmm?" He rubs a hand lightly over her arm.

"I think I realized why I had such a non-reaction to the bruises." He pulls away so he can look at her. She takes his hand in hers. "Well, in the interest of full disclosure, I was terrified when Chuck was….I don't even know what to call it." She shrugs and looks around the room helplessly. "It all happened so fast and I was so, so scared. I didn't know what was going to happen." She says almost getting lost in the memory. She looks back at him to gage his reaction and to pull herself out of the darkness. His eyes are sympathetic and soft. "Anyway, while I was scared in those moments, I'm not scared now. It's over. It's been over. I'm not going back to a situation like that ever, for any reason. I'm not putting myself in a situation where Chuck, or anyone else, can hurt me physically or emotionally. Those days are over." She nods to herself, making a personal promise. She meets his eyes again. "I know that I'm safe here. With you." She smiles at him and exhales deeply.

"You are." He nods his head in agreement. "You know earlier you said that you don't think I do anything differently with you, but that's not entirely true. I naturally just try harder with you, or I don't know, my instincts are more correct. It's not something I think about, all the time, and I do think you're right about us. I've told you that I know how to love you." He locks his eyes on hers. "That means you though. You, specifically. I don't want you to think that you're not special to me. You are." He kisses her forehead. "And, I don't know why, but I am like fiercely protective of you." He looks at her and smiles sheepishly before sliding down and resting his head against the back of the sofa. "I think it's because you've always been so vulnerable with me. Even before we were anything close to friends. I just—I think of those moments and if I saw all of that, you didn't have to say a word most of the time, the pain would just be rolling off of you, I don't know how the people who have known you and cared about you longer don't get it."

"Well, to be fair, Dan, I didn't let everyone see the same things that you saw. Or maybe it was that they couldn't or didn't want to see them." She scoots closer to him and presses a kiss to his temple. She brushes his hair back from his face. "I don't know, or care, to be honest." She rests her forehead against his temple.

They stay like that for a long moment before he breaks the silence. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" He pulls away to look at her. She doesn't want to rile him up again. She just wants him to be here with her, in this moment, in this space. She does want to talk about it though. It would be good to get it out of her. "I won't freak out. I promise. If you want to talk about it then I'll listen and I'll focus on you."

She takes a long, steadying breath. "I almost left because I had a bad feeling. You were, obviously, right about going over there and it sank in right when I was about to leave. He was behind me though, on the floor, completely drunk." She shakes her head disdainfully. "I don't know. I asked him how he could cause a scene like that and he said something about how he knew that you and I shouldn't be together. He went on about his father, as usual, and said now everything's perfect for us to be together. He said I was the only real thing in his life. He started kissing my neck and I tried to push him off of me, but he wouldn't stop so I told him that I didn't want him anymore, that I wanted you. I told him you had my heart." He takes her hand in his. "That was when he lost it. He grabbed me and forced me to the floor in front of the glass." Her voice starts to get thick. "I kept trying to push him off of me, but he wouldn't move. I yelled at him and he finally stopped but he wouldn't get off of me so I told him we were over. He got really upset and yelled that we weren't." She wipes at a tear that fell from her eyes. "I don't know what he was aiming for, I just saw a fist coming toward me. I—uh—I moved my head and he hit the glass, maybe because he meant to. I really don't know. Anyway that distracted him and I ran away." She looks at him. "You know the rest."

He rubs her hand between both of his and focuses his eyes on their joined hands. "Ok. Ok." He looks back at her and his eyes are wet. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." He places a hand behind her neck and pulls her closer to him. He kisses her head.

"If I can't apologize then you can't either." She says lightly, but she means it. She pulls back to look at his face.

He nods and smiles faintly. "You do know this wasn't your fault, right? You get that?" He places his hands on the sides of her head. He looks at her intently.

"Yes." She nods. "I know that. I do."

"I promise that you're safe with me. I promise." He leans his forehead against hers.

"I know that too." She presses her lips against his. It's absurd, but she laughs for some reason. It might be relief or happiness, but she laughs. She puts her arms around him and closes her eyes when he does the same, only tighter. She opens her eyes and sees the book he was reading earlier. She slides a hand to his hair and rubs the back of his head. "Dan, are you reading Jane Austen?"

He half groans, half laughs. "Yes." He pulls away and she can't fight the smile that's spreading over her face. "That is reverse sexism, Waldorf. Austen is a classic."

She nods. "Oh, I agree." She covers her mouth with her hand.

"Don't bother hiding it. I know you're enjoying this." He says like he's not enjoying her amusement, but he so clearly is.

She can't control it anymore and she laughs. "What one are you reading?" She rests her arm against the back of the sofa and leans her head against her hand, studying him.

"_Emma_." She almost loses it at that confession. She really agrees with him, but this is so amusing to her. She always thought he was reading Hemingway or some other brooding author. It makes her heart swell. She giggles before she leans forward and kisses his cheek. "Don't patronize me." He says on a laugh and leans away from her.

"I would never." She says defensively and grabs his face to press a longer kiss to his cheek. "I think it's cute."

He cuts his eyes to her. "Yeah, yeah." He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

"Why _Emma_?" She eyes him curiously.

"Well, you know how 'Cocktail' reminds you of us?" He looks at her playfully.

She can feel her cheeks flushing. "I never—" She starts but he cuts her off before she can finish.

"I know. You never said that." He's doing his Blair voice again and it's so adorably infuriating. "Anyway, Miss Denial, I've always thought you were a lot like Emma. You're both very clever, though often misguided. She schemes and thinks she knows what's best for everyone. She cares about people so she messes with their lives. She runs that town too, or well, she thinks she does." He smirks at her.

She rolls her eyes. "So are you Mr. Knightley then?" She asks playfully.

"Well, that's where it gets interesting. I think I have some things in common with Mr. Knightley." He smiles at her. "For instance, I find you incredibly charming and endearing….most of the time. I'm definitely more grounded and realistic than you are. We complement each other very well. I think we have a similar dynamic. However, I have not ever been, and, hopefully, will not ever be, your step-brother." They both scrunch up their faces in mock disgust. He laughs and looks away from her for a minute. "Actually, I think Serena referenced something about that one time. Maybe it was 'Clueless'." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. For once, Blair is comforted by a Serena mention. He eyes her and bites his lip. "I kind of think Emma's what you must have been like as a little girl. A happy, playful schemer." Her eyes snap to his. He really does believe she's good. He smiles and kisses her cheek. He runs a hand lazily along the back of her neck. She leans into him and kisses his lips. She pulls back to look in his eyes and kisses him a few more times.

"I…" She clears her throat nervously and fidgets with her hands. "I know I'm trying the whole independent, self-sufficient thing and that's working. I feel very confident and more like myself than I have in—in years." She lowers her gaze before slowly raising her eyes back to his. "I said I didn't need you, that I wanted you…." She swallows hard and scoots closer to him. She watches his eyes closely. "I need you, Dan."

His eyes never falter. They're confident and sure the whole time. "You have me." He pulls her against his chest and rubs her arm. "Always." He places a light kiss on her head. They stay like that for a few moments. "You must be absolutely exhausted. Let's get you to bed." He shuffles her so he can stand up. He holds his hand out in front of her. She places it in his and rises to her feet.

"Humphrey, will you read to me?" She says the words before she can even think them through.

His eyebrows raise. "What?"

"When I was little and had a bad dream I always liked to be read to." She looks at the ground. "It helped me sleep again."

He moves forward and takes her in his arms. "Of course." He holds her in his arms and sways them gently. It's so soothing that she could fall asleep right there. "That's a small favor to ask of someone who'd do anything for you." He pulls back and kisses her forehead. "What do you want me to read to you?"

She points to _Emma_ lying on the sofa. She smiles at him. "I always liked fairy tales when I was little, but I want something more realistic now." He eyes her and smiles knowingly. He grabs the book with one hand and takes her hand in the other.

**A/N 2: I hope I handled all of this well. It was difficult to write the Chuck/Blair confrontation. I didn't want it to be insensitive. I also had to watch that scene toooooo many times. In the end, it's a pretty much verbatim transcript of what transpired between them. I only took liberties with Blair's thoughts, but, in my personal opinion, Leighton made it clear what she was thinking. I added the bruises because he was pretty rough with her and I think the show downplayed it. This issue is one I take very seriously and if any part of this chapter is disrespectful, I apologize. That was not my intent. I also struggled with how to handle the aftermath and Dan's reaction. I had one version where he didn't even talk to Chuck because Blair wanted to leave. I'm not a fan of violence in response to violence but that was not satisfying and this is fanfic, so what the heck? haha I hope both of their reactions throughout were logical and made sense. Idk, anyway, I hope it worked! I'll be back soon!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hiii! Thank you all so much for your kind words regarding the last chapter. I appreciate it! I'm glad nobody was offended and that you all liked it. The next few chapters (give or take) are going to be lighter and then the major angst of the story awaits. I'll put more (vague) details at the end of the chapter in case anyone doesn't want to know the general plan. Anyway, I hope you're all ready haha :)**

Blair wakes up and reaches out for Dan. He's not there. She pushes her sleeping mask to her forehead to look at his side of the bed. It's empty. The last thing she remembers is laying on his chest as he read to her. She pouts as she rises to her elbows and looks around the room. She spots him in the chair across the room with a grin on his face.

"Looking for something?" He asks playfully.

She shakes her head. "No. I was looking for someone." She rolls over so she can sit up. "You." She smiles at him.

"I see." He nods his head and looks around the room before meeting her gaze again. "I've been here the whole time." He smiles at her and gets up from the chair to come over to her. He strokes her cheek. "Good morning." He bends down to kiss the top of her head.

"Sit with me." She scoots over and pats the bed. She grabs his face and kisses his lips after he sits beside her. She pulls back and studies him. He looks exhausted. "You're tired." She moves one of her hands from his face so she can kiss his cheek. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"I think I did a little. I don't know; I just couldn't sleep." He shrugs and runs a hand through his messy hair. "It reached a point where I was just flat out restless and I didn't want to disturb you so I moved to the chair."

Her eyes widen. "Dan! No wonder you look like this." She waves a hand in front of him.

He rolls his eyes. "Thanks." He leans forward and kisses her. "You, on the other hand, look absolutely gorgeous. I think my sacrifice was worth it."

She clicks her tongue against her teeth. "I always look gorgeous." She frowns at him. "A chair, Dan? Why didn't you go to the living room? You could have stayed in bed. I was so exhausted I think I could have slept through anything." She runs a hand through his hair.

"You were so peaceful. I was not." He laughs lightly and then looks at her seriously. "I didn't want to leave you alone though so the chair was the best option." He grabs her hand and kisses it.

She smiles at him and lowers her gaze to their intertwined hands. "How's your hand?" She lightly traces over it.

"I'm fine, Waldorf. Would you stop worrying about me?" He laughs and squeezes her hand to prove his point.

"I can't help it! You didn't sleep and your hand is bruised. You look worse than usual, Humphrey. Anyone would be alarmed." She smiles innocently.

"Well, I'm glad to see things have returned to normal around here." She laughs and the stretch of her cheeks reminds her of the cut. She places her hand over it and he gently removes it just as quickly. "Stop touching it." He gently lifts her band aid to examine the cut. He holds her face with his free hand and leans closer to her. "It looks better already." He replaces the bandage and kisses her cheek. "It seems that on top of all of my other amazing attributes, I am also a great nurse. You are so lucky I'm your boyfriend." He says jokingly.

She brings his hand to her lips and kisses it. She strokes it tenderly and smiles at him. "I am." He eyes her for a moment before a smile slowly forms on his lips. She looks down. "You were so good to me last night." She raises her head with a small smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "I—I don't know what else to say to you. Words aren't enough, Dan." She tilts her head to the side.

"Blair." He says quietly, emotionally. "I think sometimes you don't have to say anything." His eyes search hers before he kisses her slowly and gently. His hand cradles the other side of her face softly. His lips leave hers and she wants to cry for the loss.

She opens her eyes slowly. "Why'd you stop?" She asks dazedly.

His eyes get wide. "Oh, whoa, that was not a pick up line." He leans away and pulls his hands back.

She smiles and moves closer to him. "I know it wasn't, but I wanted it to be." She places her hands on his shoulders and brushes her lips lightly against his. "Dan…" She presses another, longer kiss to his lips. She opens her eyes to study him. He's not doing anything. She kisses him again and slips her tongue into his mouth. He sighs and his hands move to her hair. She knew he wouldn't be able to hold out. She breaks away and kisses his cheek. She brushes her lips against the shell of his ear before she whispers, "Make love to me."

He pulls back to look at her. "Are you sure?"

Her breath hitches and it takes her a moment to speak. "Yes." His eyes are studying her intently. He buries his hands in her hair and closes the small distance between their lips. She moans against his lips and he tugs her closer. He stops kissing her lips and moves to her cheek. He places a lingering kiss there.

He pulls back and looks at her before taking her eye mask off and tossing it aside. He unbuttons her pajama top and pushes it down her arms, eyes locked on hers the entire time. He kisses her forehead. Her other cheek. Back to her lips. He leaves a trail of kisses along her jaw. He makes a path to her ear. "Lay down." He whispers and his breath against her ear makes her shiver. She lies back and he carefully moves over her. His lips find hers again. She slides her hands under his shirt, feeling his skin under her hands. It's not enough.

She breaks away from his lips. "Dan." She says breathlessly. He looks at her questioningly. "Your clothes. Take your clothes off." He quickly does. She reaches for him but he lingers by her feet. He runs his hands over legs slowly and locks eyes with her. He lifts one leg and kisses his way up it. She sighs happily as he focuses on her other leg. When he gets to her inner thigh her hips rise and her eyes flutter closed. He moves to her center and spreads her open with his fingers. Her legs fall open more. She feels his tongue dart out against her. He licks the length of her and she cries out. His tongue dips inside of her and she grips the sheets. She feels him moan against her before he pulls back. She watches him catch his breath, feels it against her. He leans forward and licks her again.

"Mmmm." He pulls back and moves up her body. He kisses her and her hands grip his back when she tastes herself on him. He breaks away and locks eyes with her, hovering over her. He moves his lips to her ear and nips at her earlobe. "I love the way you taste." He presses his lips to hers again and then moves them to her jaw, down her neck. He places kisses across her chest, her collar bone, her shoulder, her arm, back to her chest. He kisses one of her breasts, opens his mouth to pull her nipple in. Her back arches and her hand runs along his neck. Her fingers trail into his hair and grip when he moves his attention to her other breast. He pulls back and looks at her reverently. His hand runs lightly from her neck down her chest to her breast. He kisses her between her breasts, down to her stomach. He kisses her hips. She doesn't think there's an inch his lips haven't touched.

When his mouth has finished its tour, he sits up and watches her closely. He stretches out over her and she feels him hard, teasing at her entrance. She gasps and moves her hips trying to meet his. She just wants him inside of her. His eyes are so soft as they scan her face and dance with her eyes. His hand comes up to stroke her cheek. He kisses her gently. "You're so beautiful. Everything about you." His hand moves into her hair and moves her face closer to his. "I….Blair….I…." He pauses and she can see his mind racing, calculating. He smiles instead of sharing his thoughts with her. She gasps when his lips meet hers. He breaks away from her mouth, both of them breathless. His eyes lock with hers as he moves into her slowly. Her legs wrap around his waist, taking him in deeper. He sighs as he adjusts and sets a slow, gentle pace.

She's lost in him and his eyes and his movements. She's overcome with emotion and feeling and….love. For him. All for him. She gasps out his name and cradles his face.

"You're crying." Dan says quietly and stills inside of her, eyes fixed on hers.

She shakes her head in slight dismay. "I don't know why." She wipes at her eyes.

He kisses her forehead and looks at her again. "Are you ok?"

She rubs her hand down his back and presses him against her again. "Yes. I'm not upset, I wasn't thinking about anything but us and you." She shakes her head in confusion. "I don't know why I'm crying."

"Ok. I believe you." He tells her softly. "Do you want me to stop?" He strokes her hair gently.

"No." She pulls his face to hers and kisses him deeply. He moans against her mouth. "No, I don't want you to ever stop. I'm happy. I don't know why I'm crying." Even as she says it, more tears fall from her eyes. She wipes at them in frustration. "I swear I feel happy and…and loved." She shrugs her shoulder and looks at him with a small smile. "I don't know…."

He just stares at her for what feels like an eternity. She probably said too much. "Blair…." He leans forward and kisses her slowly. He pulls back and smiles at her. He kisses her cheeks and then kisses her lips again. She sighs and rises off the bed slightly to press herself closer to him. He takes the hint and shifts his hips against her. He meets her eyes when he pulls away from her mouth. "That's how I want you to feel." He kisses her as he pushes into her deeper. Her eyes close and she breaks away from his lips to catch the breath he just took away. It just feels so good.

"Dan." She gasps out again as she can feel herself going over. He goes with her. It's long and slow and powerful. When she comes down his head is buried in her hair and he's breathing heavily against her. She strokes his back and arms. He rises slowly and meets her eyes. He kisses her gently and eases off of her. She lays beside him and watches him as his breathing returns to normal. She rests a hand on his chest.

He looks at her and smiles sleepily. "Are you hungry?"

"No." She smiles warmly and leans on her elbow. She presses a kiss to his temple. "I'm perfect, baby. You should rest."

He laughs. "You're determined to worry about me." His eyes close before he even finishes the sentence.

"Oh, Humphrey, this is entirely self-serving." She states confidently. He opens his eyes and narrows them at her. "You need your beauty rest. I like my pretty boyfriend." She says as she smiles widely, devilishly.

He returns her smile and reaches out for her. "Come here." She curls up against him and rubs his chest soothingly as he drifts off. She allows herself to stay there for a little while before carefully moving away from him and getting out of the bed. She's pretty sure she could have jumped on the bed and he wouldn't have stirred. She goes to his drawers and pulls out a t-shirt. She puts it on and turns to leave the room. She smiles at him as she closes the door. She has lots of work to do.

* * *

"Dorota!" Blair rushes forward and snatches a croissant out of her hand. "Not yet." She looks at her sternly. "We're waiting for all of the other guests and you know that." She sets the croissant back on the table and claps her hands together as she takes in all of her and Dorota's hard work. The doorbell rings. She and Dorota smile at each other like giddy school girls. She smooths her dress and hurries to answer the door.

Her mother's confused face and Cyrus's warm one are greeting her on the other side of the door. "Blair, is there a reason I am at a…a loft in Brooklyn?" Her mother asks in lieu of a greeting.

Blair sighs and opens the door wider for them to step in. "Yes, mother, there is." She takes their coats and her mother's bag and sets them on a nearby chair. She can't help but smile when she turns back to them. "You're here to meet my boyfriend and his family." She raises her shoulders and bounces on her feet a little in excitement.

"Oh, dear God." Her mother makes her way to a stool and sits down. "Is this because I missed your party last night?"

"Mother, no!" Blair scrunches her face in disappointment. "You were supposed to meet him last night at the party. That's what it was for."

"I see. Well, I am sorry we missed it then. If only because it would have spared me a trip out here." Her mother smiles and crosses the room to grab a mimosa. She opens her mouth to tell her mother to wait for the rest of the party but Dorota shakes her head. She's right. Champagne can only help.

"Blair, this is exciting news." Cyrus smiles and kisses her cheek. He notices her cut. "Oh, what happened there?" Her mother looks at her curiously. She took the bandage off, thinking that would draw too much attention to it. That was silly. Of course people are going to see it regardless.

"Oh, it's nothing." She hears Dorota scoff and she gives her a warning look. "It was an accident." She clears her throat and is thankful for another knock at the door. She rushes to answer the door and leaves the conversation, hopefully, behind her.

She smiles warmly at Dan's mother. "Hi…." Blair's smile falters. "Oh, I don't know what to call you. We haven't been formally introduced."

Allison laughs good-naturedly. "Just call me, Allison. Please." She reaches forward and hugs Blair. It catches her off guard but she returns the hug and smiles to herself. She instantly feels less nervous about this venture.

She hears Rufus and Lily walking up the stairs just as she's letting Allison inside. She rolls her eyes. She had hoped Rufus would come alone.

Rufus smiles at her warmly. "Hi, Blair." He offers her a bottle of champagne. "This is nowhere near apology enough for last night, but I hope it's a start." She takes it and smiles.

"Thank you, Rufus. I appreciate this. I understand you're concerned about Dan." She blushes. "I care about him too and I wouldn't want anyone to hurt him either." She looks down shyly, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her confession. She looks back at them and smiles politely. "I do hope that you being here, both of you being here, means you're willing to accept us and give me a chance."

Lily reaches a hand out to rub Blair's shoulder. "It does, Blair." Lily's soft smile fades when she sees the cut on her cheek. She can see Lily knows what happened and is about to say something. She cringes. She doesn't want to talk about it. It's over and done. Thankfully, her mother calls out.

"Blair, darling, we—we have questions." Eleanor calls out in her faux polite voice. Uh oh. Allison must have introduced herself. Blair lets Lily and Rufus in and they all make their way over to the other guests. "Blair, Allison is Dan Humphrey's mother. And, now Rufus and Lily are here. I thought we were meeting your boyfriend and his….Oh. Oh, I see." Eleanor nods her head slowly. Dorota is right beside her, holding out another mimosa. "Yes, thank you, Dorota."

"Dan Humphrey, Blair!" Cyrus calls out in excitement. "I remember him from Dorota's wedding. He was a nice young man. I think this is great news." Cyrus smiles wide at all of the other uncomfortable parents.

"Cyrus, dear, I'm sure you remember him better as our cater waiter." Eleanor says with a small trill of laughter.

"Mother." Blair eyes her.

"Oh, that's right! Didn't he serve at one of the events leading up to the wedding?" Cyrus asks pleasantly. "Yes, yes. I liked him very much."

"Thank you, Cyrus." Rufus says as he moves to look at the food on the table. "Blair! This food looks great. You did a lovely job getting this brunch together so quickly."

Blair takes the life preserver. "Thank you, Rufus. Dorota helped. I couldn't have done it without her." She smiles over at Dorota, who's beaming back at her.

"Did Dan make the waffles? You know we Humphrey men make some of the best waffles around." Rufus smiles proudly at the room.

"Uh, no, no. This is all from a restaurant in the city." Blair stands beside Rufus. "Dan has made me waffles, though. They're great."

"Where is Dan?" Allison asks in confusion.

Blair's hands fly to her face. "Oh my God. Dan. I forgot to-" And, because the universe loves to mess with her, at that moment, Dan emerges from the bedroom. Bleary eyed and his boxers half on.

"Blair, where'd you—" He stops talking when he sees the crowd gathered. "Ok. I see the gang's all here. And I am in my underwear." He nods and takes in a deep breath. "I am going to put clothes on. Excuse me." He turns around quickly and goes back to his room, the door closing behind him.

"Miss Blair, you not tell Dan about brunch?" Dorota looks over at Blair.

"Obviously, I did not, Dorota." Blair says through clenched teeth. She whirls back around and smiles at everyone. "This was a slight oversight on my part. Please excuse me."

She slips into the bedroom. "Dan, I am so sorry." She says to his back.

He turns around and is flustered as he tries to straighten out his t-shirt. "What is going on?" He asks as he finally pulls his t-shirt over his head.

"Well, I thought that I would arrange a nice brunch for us and our families." She says sweetly. He looks at her with wide eyes. "Only there's one minor hiccup." She shrugs a shoulder.

He looks at her and rolls his eyes. "Let me guess, I'm the hiccup?"

"I had a lot to do and I was waiting until the last minute to wake you up because you were so tired. I wanted to let you sleep." She exhales. "I'm sorry. At least you weren't naked." She offers hopefully.

"Really, Blair?" He furrows his brow. "My parents are out there. Lily, Cyrus, _your mother_… I was in my underwear." He covers his face with his hands and groans. "I haven't even had a shower. Should I—Should I wear this shirt?"

"Well, I mean, they've seen you in your underwear, Humphrey. Does it really matter what you wear at this point?" Her eyes widen at his expression. She bites her lip. "Here, I'll find you something." She moves to his closet and rummages through it. She gasps out in delight. "I know!" She goes to his drawers and finds a nice t-shirt that complements her dress. She holds it out and smiles wide.

He takes it from her and sighs. "What is this about?" He takes his other shirt off and looks at her, waiting for an answer.

"It's not about anything. I care about you and I want your parents to know that. I want my parents to know that." She steps up to him and kisses him deeply. Her hands roam over his bare back and pull him closer. "I want everyone to know and now we're closer to that." His hands cup her cheeks and he kisses her again. She breaks away and looks down. "I also kind of thought it'd be nice to do something normal and light today. I don't know. I guess it was a bad idea." He pulls her into a hug.

"It's not a bad idea. I wish I had known." He laughs and pulls back. He kisses her lips. "I appreciate how much you're trying. That's not lost on me. This is really sweet of you." He strokes the side of her face lightly. "Let's do this." He puts the t-shirt on and smiles at her.

"Hey! There they are!" Rufus calls out when they re-emerge.

"Oh, I almost didn't recognize you, Dan." Eleanor says with a smirk. "You're dressed….in something other than your underwear and a uniform."

"Hi, Mrs. Rose. It's nice to see you again too." Dan claps his hands together and smiles. "This looks great, Blair." He puts an arm around her and kisses her head. She smiles up at him. Dorota clears her throat. Blair turns to glare at her. God forbid Dan doesn't fawn over Dorota. She needs to get a handle on that situation. "And Dorota. You guys put together a nice brunch. Thank you." He smiles at both of them.

They make it through brunch successfully. They're all actually conversing and enjoying themselves. Blair is so happy. This could actually work. Of course, Allison and Lily have been getting digs in with each other. Cyrus and a steady supply of mimosas have been keeping Eleanor at a civil level. Other than those few things it's been ok though. She smiles happily and sips her own mimosa listening to Dan and his parents recount a story from Dan's youth.

"He was so adorable that I don't think the store employees could even be mad at him." Allison says lovingly as she laughs. "He had that wild hair and puppy dog eyes. He got away with everything. Blair, you'll have to come to Hudson sometime so I can show you pictures and videos." Allison smiles at Blair. Hudson? Oh. She hadn't thought of that. She smiles at Allison the best she can. She ignores Lily's and Eleanor's laughter at the notion.

"To be fair, you didn't give them a chance to be mad at him." Rufus reminds her. "Allison and Dan fled the store without telling anyone that Dan had peed in the corner."

"I was four! I thought I could just go." Dan shrugs. "I didn't know it was a big deal." Blair laughs and leans into him. She squeezes his arm as Rufus reveals more of Allison and Dan's crime sprees. Dan was apparently a mischievous child and Allison would frequently have to flee scenes with him in tow.

The laughter dies and Blair can feel Allison's eyes on her. "Blair, what happened to your cheek?" She asks, concern evident in her voice.

"Oh, uh, it was an accident." She smiles faintly and Dan squeezes her hand.

"Nate came over this morning and told me what happened." Lily interjects. "I feel I should apologize."

"Apologize for what?" Eleanor leans forward and looks at Lily.

"Nothing." Blair says pointedly. "Lily has nothing to apologize for because it wasn't her fault. It was an accident."

"I just want you to know that Chuck knows what he did was reprehensible. None of us are taking it lightly." Lily says seriously.

"Chuck? What did Chuck do?" Eleanor asks and looks between Blair and Lily. Dan closes his eyes and brings a hand to his forehead.

"Dan! Your hand?! What happened to your hand?" Allison calls out in shock.

"Oh, mom, it's _really_ nothing." Dan widens his eyes and tilts his head.

"Isn't Chuck the guy that caused that scene last night?" Allison asks with narrowed eyes, starting to put some of the pieces together.

"Alright, that's it." Eleanor slams her hands on the table. "Someone is telling me what's going on. Right now."

Blair exhales in exasperation. "Chuck had too much to drink and I went over to speak to him about me and Dan. I—I thought it would help all of us if he knew how I felt. It was a bad idea. He was angry and it…it got physical. He ended up punching a glass wall and it cut me. Dan's hand is bruised because he punched Chuck." She leans back in her chair. So much for a normal, light day.

"Oh, Blair." Eleanor gets up from her chair and comes over to her. She takes her chin in her hands and turns her face so she can look at the cut. "It doesn't look too bad. Dorota needs to make an appointment with Dr. Treadway though. We need to make sure it's not going to scar." She stands upright and puts her hands on her hips. "This is ridiculous, Lily. Someone needs to get that boy under control."

"Eleanor, I hear you. He's going to get therapy of some kind. I just…" Lily lowers her head into her hands and Rufus reaches out to rub her back. "I just can't believe he did this."

Dan scoffs. "Well, that makes one of us."

"Ok, I don't want to talk about this. It's over and nothing like that is ever going to happen again. To me." She looks over and smiles at Dan before turning her attention back to Lily. "I do think it's important that he gets help, Lily."

Lily nods her agreement. "I know. He's going to. He is." She clears her throat. "We should be going."

"Yes, we should as well." Eleanor looks over to Cyrus who rises to gather their coats. Dan and Blair walk Rufus and Lily and Eleanor and Cyrus to the door. Eleanor pauses and smiles at Dan before she leaves. "Thank you, Dan. For helping Blair last night. And for making her happy." She smiles at Blair. "I can tell you two are happy together." She looks over to Cyrus and then back to them. "I suppose that's all that matters."

Dan puts his arm around Blair and smiles. "I agree with that." Blair looks at him and returns his smile. He clears his throat. "I know this was something of an ambush, for some of us, but I'm serious about Blair. I care about her very much. I just thought you should know that."

Eleanor eyes Dan with something resembling pride. Blair can't believe it. "I appreciate that, Dan." She steps closer to them. "I'll admit my first instinct was to start counting the days until this would end, but after hearing what happened last night…." Eleanor shakes her head. "I think sometimes we worry about the wrong things in this social circle." She smiles at them one last time before joining Cyrus in the hallway. "We'll still need to have a more private dinner so I can get to know you better." She calls out as they head down the stairs.

Dan and Blair turn to each other and smile. She wraps her arms around him. "Dan, my mother doesn't hate you!" She says in delight. She squeals and pulls back to kiss him.

Dan laughs against her mouth. "Yeah, that actually went better than I thought." He rubs her back and steps away from her.

Allison and Dorota have the table cleared when they return to it. "Oh, you guys are guests. Please don't worry about cleaning up." Dan tells them as he moves into the kitchen.

"Dan, this used to be my home. You're my son. I can clean up." Allison looks at him and smiles. "Dorota, on the other hand, is a guest."

"Dorota, they're right. You should go home. Spend the day with your family." Blair walks over and ushers her out of the kitchen. "Thank you for coming today and for helping."

"It nice to see that you still glow. After last night." Dorota gives Blair a hug. "I call doctor and make appointment." Blair sighs and nods.

"Allison, do you want more coffee or anything?" Blair asks when she rejoins Dan and his mother in the kitchen.

"Oh, no. I need to get going too." She eyes Blair. "Are you sure you're ok with everything? That sounds like some ordeal you went through."

Blair swallows hard. "It was." Her eyes move around the room nervously before they land back on Dan and his mom. "Dan was perfect though. I don't know what I would have done without him." She smiles at him standing across from her and he returns it. Allison puts her arm around him. "I'm ok. I'm better than ok actually." She nods.

"I'm glad to hear that, Blair. And I'm also glad you and Dan have each other." She smiles between them. "I haven't seen Dan this happy….well, I don't know. Maybe I've never seen him this happy." She smiles at them one last time before moving toward the door.

Dan moves to give her a hug. "Thank you for coming, mom. I appreciate it." He squeezes her tighter. "I appreciate everything." He pulls back and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Dan, don't thank me for being your mother." She smiles at him guiltily and gives him a slight push. Blair smiles to herself. She doesn't know much about their history and background but she knows enough to know how much it means to Dan that his mother is becoming more present in his life again. "And Blair." Allison grabs Blair and gives her another hug. "It was nice to finally meet you." She keeps her hands on Blair's shoulders when she pulls back. "I understand what Dan has been trying to explain to me for the past few months now." She smiles at her and starts to head out. "Oh, I meant what I said, Blair. I'd love for you to come to Hudson so I can get to know you better…..and, of course, embarrass Dan." She says on a laugh as she leaves the loft. Blair doesn't even flinch at the thought this time.

"Of course." Dan mutters to himself. He shuts the door and leans against it as he looks at Blair. "We got everybody, Waldorf." His eyes are playful and disbelieving.

She laughs out. "Well, you still have to meet my father and Roman. And I don't think my mother is quite through with you yet." And Jenny she thinks to herself. She pushes the thought aside and smirks at him. He laughs and moves to her. He hugs her and lifts her off of the ground. She giggles when he sets her back on her feet. His hands fall to her waist.

"Alright, we're not out of the woods, but this all went so much better than it could have." He kisses her cheek.

She sighs and leans into him. "It did."

He rubs her back and holds her close. "Do you have any other plans today?"

She smiles and kisses his neck. "Just this." She pulls back and kisses his lips deeply. "And that."

"I like those plans." He buries his hands in her hair and kisses her back. He bends down and scoops her into his arms and carries her back to his room.

**A/N2: Because I refuse to have Chuck and Blair interact romantically after 4x20 some more changes from canon are, obviously, going to be occurring. That's the point of this story though lol The general stories are going to be similar, but specifics will be changing. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for the responses to this! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I hope you enjoy this chapter! & this is rated very M. **

Blair feels like she's been sent to the principal's office. She's sitting in the head assistant's office for some unknown reason. Maybe there's something wrong with her outfit. She looks down and scoffs at the thought. As if. She's always the best dressed here...and anywhere else for that matter. She and Dan were flirting in the copy room when she was summoned. They flirt productively though. She frowns and tosses her hair over her shoulder. There's just no way to know.

Everything's been going so well lately that something was bound to go wrong. She and Dan are great. She and Serena are friends again, actual friends. She's been so great and supportive over the past two weeks.

The door opens and an end to her worries is in sight.

"Blair, thank you so much for waiting." Jennifer sighs dramatically. "You know how Eduardo gets." She smiles slyly and winks at Blair.

Blair smiles amiably, but doesn't say a word. She's learned to smile and nod when office gossip is brought up. Nobody really cares what the interns have to say anyway. Even if they are Blair Waldorf, queen of the Upper East Side.

"No time for silliness. I like that about you." Jennifer eyes her. "You must be wondering why I've asked you in here."

Blair looks around the room and nods. "Yes."

Jennifer stares at her seriously before dissolving into laughter. Blair smiles faintly. These people are crazy. "Being as ambitious and driven as you are, Blair, I'm sure you know that our publisher, Conde Nast, is one of the largest, and most respected, publishing houses in the world. Our list of publications is truly unparalleled." Jennifer smiles proudly and rests her hands in front of her. "What you may not know is that I started my career with them at _Vogue_. I know a _Vogue_ ingénue when I see one." Oh. Blair's eyes lock on Jennifer and she leans a little closer to her superior. _Vogue_ is the dream. Jennifer looks away in calculated consideration. "You and Dan are the best interns I've ever supervised. He's perfect for _Vanity Fair_, despite the fact that I'm sure he believes he belongs at _The New Yorker_. He doesn't. And you can tell him I told you that." Jennifer smiles knowingly. "We're not here to discuss Dan though. We're here to discuss the beginning of what we at Conde Nast hope will be a long and productive career for you with us." Blair can barely breathe. "With that in mind, we feel we need to begin maximizing your potential. You are a _Vogue_ ingénue, Blair Waldorf. Then I'm sure you already know that." She's dreaming. She must be. "We want to build your career the right way. We're sending you to Paris for the summer. You'll be assisting the assistant to the junior fashion editor at _Vogue Paris_. Congratulations, Blair." The corner of Jennifer's mouth quirks upward in a smug smile. "This is the beginning."

"Oh my God. Oh my God." Blair brings a hand to her forehead. This is surreal. "Thank you for this opportunity." She's trying to contain her smile, but she can't.

"Just don't disappoint us." Jennifer tells her sternly. "This is an incredible opportunity, especially after _W_. Be the Blair that you've shown us at _Vanity Fair_. She's a force to be reckoned with."

Blair can only nod and smile in her stupor. Jennifer returns the smile and puts her glasses on. She focuses on her laptop and begins typing vigorously. "That was your cue, Blair. We'll e-mail you the details."

Blair jumps up from her chair. "Oh. Right." She hurries from the office before anyone can rescind the offer. Her mind is racing with all of her hopes and dreams. Dan. She has to tell Dan! He's going to be so excited. Possibly even more excited than she is. She moves quickly toward the copy room where he should still be stapling. It's half way through her journey that she realizes what this all means. She and Dan are going to have to spend the summer apart. Oh. She stops to think. Is it too soon to ask him to go with her? Would he even want to go? She starts to feel butterflies in her stomach.

No. No. This is good news. Fantastic, even. She's not letting a boy ruin this moment for her. This isn't just a boy though. This is _Dan_. Her best friend. Her rock. Her center. She might as well admit it to herself: she's in love with him. She feels good about it. It doesn't weigh her down or cripple her. It does the opposite, in fact. The butterflies go into overdrive when she thinks about that, thinks about telling him. It's too soon to tell him. She brushes it aside. One piece of news at a time. She'll start with this news. She starts moving toward the copy room again.

She finds him right where she left him. He looks up to see who came in the room and smiles when he sees it's her.

"Hey there." He goes back to stapling. "I was beginning to think you'd abandoned me." He teases her.

She laughs nervously and steps closer to him. "I would never." His eyes lock with hers and he smiles warmly. "Not when stapling's involved anyway."

He chuckles and silence settles in the room. She's nervous. What if he doesn't care that she'll be leaving? He clears his throat and she focuses on him. "You ok?"

She smiles briefly and nods. "Yes. I'm better than ok, actually."

His eyes widen and look bright. "I take it that your meeting with Jennifer went well?"

"It did." Excitement takes over and she bounces on her heels. "Dan, they want me to assist in the fashion department at _Vogue_ _Paris_."

He stops stapling and moves toward her. "Yeah?"

She nods excitedly. "Yes!" He laughs and throws his arms around her.

"Blair, this is amazing. Congratulations." He presses his lips to hers. His eyes are searching hers. "I didn't even know this was a possibility."

"Neither did I." She shakes her head in dismay. "It took me completely by surprise."

"You deserve it. You're going to be great." He pulls her in for another kiss. "So tell me all about it. What'd she say?"

"She said that Conde Nast wants me to have a long career with them and that they want to start grooming me basically." She laughs and covers her mouth with her hands. "Dan, oh my God." She wraps her arms around him. "I can't believe it. Everything's coming together perfectly." He kisses the side of her head and pulls back to look at her.

"I'm so proud of you. And happy for you." He kisses her deeply.

"Thank you, Humphrey." She raises her shoulders and smiles happily.

"You're welcome, Waldorf." He rubs her shoulders absentmindedly. She studies him as his mind seems to drift off. She feels the anxiety start to pulse through her. She's about to ask him what he's thinking when he comes back to reality. "Uh, we should probably stop celebrating here if you want to actually be employed here long enough to make it to Paris." He laughs and kisses her cheek before stepping away.

"Ok." She looks around the room, debating whether or not to press the issue. She decides against it. It's Dan. He'll talk if he needs to.

"Maybe we should call everyone and celebrate?" He looks at her and smiles.

Her eyes flash. "Celebrate? Are you that happy to have me out of the country, Humphrey?" She asks teasingly. She hopes.

He eyes her and opens his mouth a few times before words actually come out. "No. No, but this should be celebrated. It's a big deal for you." He puts his stapler down. He stops beside her on the way out and kisses her cheek. He runs a hand down her arm. "I'm proud of you." She turns her head to look in his eyes. He smiles warmly. "I'll go call Eric. He can get everyone together." He walks away from her and out of the room. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to chase the anxiety away.

* * *

As they walk into the restaurant, celebration imminent, Dan's animatedly telling her about how Sally, the sweet, elderly executive secretary, tried to corner him in the break room. She's holding on to his hand and her hand is gripping his arm as she leans close to him. She laughs up at him and he smiles at her as he continues his story. She'll miss these small moments with him. She'll miss everything.

"There they are!" Nate stands up from across the restaurant and raises a glass. "Party time finally!"

"Oh my God." She mutters as the other patrons of the very expensive, very chic restaurant glare at the scene.

"Now that looks like someone who is excited to see you leave." Dan smirks at her.

She swats his arm. "Be nice, Humphrey." He chuckles as he holds her chair out for her.

"B!" Serena takes her hand from across the table. This party has clearly started without them. "I am so happy for you! This is huge! It's your dream!" She gushes excitedly.

She smiles indulgently at her friend. "It—It's the beginning of one of my dreams, yes." Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Dan reaching across the table, stealing Nate's drink.

"Dan!" Nate shakes his head in mock reproach. "You can never just get your own stuff, man." Dan snorts and almost spits out the drink while Serena laughs boisterously. "Boom!" He tosses his napkin on the table. "My work here is done, ladies and gentlemen."

"Ugh, Nate." Blair groans. "That is disgusting." She shoots Eric a disapproving look when she sees him fighting back laughter beside Dan. Dan smiles at her and takes her hand in his under the table.

"Yeah, Nate. Ew." Serena says and looks at Nate sternly before she dissolves into giggles. She shoves him playfully before turning back to Blair. "This is Blair's night. This is like all you've ever wanted! How does it feel?!"

She feels Dan's hand grip hers a little tighter. She looks over to see him downing the rest of the drink.

"Get it, Humphrey!" Nate calls out and slams his hand down hard on the table.

"Nate, stop acting like a frat boy." Eric says as he tosses a napkin in his direction. Nate catches it and smirks at Eric. She ignores the scene beside her and turns her attention back to Serena.

"It's not _all_ I've _ever_ wanted." She smiles at her friend. "I want other things too." She slides her eyes over to Dan, but he's leaned across the table joking around with Nate and Eric. She runs her thumb over the back of his hand absently. "I may not have always wanted them, but I do want them."

Serena smiles empathetically. "I know, B."

Nate pops the cork off of a new bottle of champagne, effectively ruining the moment. He pours a glass for everyone and passes them around. "Ok." He stands and holds his glass up. "To no one's great surprise she is the rising star of our incestuous circle of friends here." Everyone groans and laughs. "Alright, alright. Seriously, we all know she's fought hard and earned it." His eyes shine as he smiles at her. "No one deserves it more than you, Blair. Congratulations." They all raise their glasses and smile at her. She turns to look at Dan and he brings her hand to his lips. He's looking at her so intensely. It makes her nervous. She leans forward and presses her lips to his, hoping to relax them both.

* * *

Nate managed to convince everyone a club was a good idea.s crowded and noisy. Their booth has long been abandoned by everyone but her and Dan. Eric and Serena are on the dance floor. Nate is making out with some girl in the corner. Dan is sitting across from her eyeing her intently. They've all had a lot to drink. She, Dan, and Eric aren't as drunk as Nate and Serena though. Just nice and tipsy.

"What are you looking at, Humphrey?" She runs a foot up his leg. He smirks.

"Do you even know that you're the sexiest girl in here?" He leans on the table, closer to her. She mirrors the action.

"I'm well aware. The question is what are you going to do about it?" She raises an eyebrow and wraps her lips around her straw. He bites his lip and arches an eyebrow.

Dan gets up and sits next to her. Neither one of them say a word. They just watch each other.

She licks her lips, causing Dan to break first. He leans forward to kiss her. She moans and brings a hand to his face. He pulls back and stares at her. He lowers a hand and slides it under her dress, slowly up her thigh. He groans when his hand finds her naked underneath.

"Seriously?" He breathes out and kisses her neck.

"Why waste time?" She eyes him and moves his hand against her. Her eyes close and her breathing comes up short. His fingers trace the length of her. His thumb circles over her clit and her eyes fly open to look at him. He plunges two fingers into her, hard. She bucks and her head rolls to the side. She bites her lip to keep from crying out. He breathes out a laugh and moves his hand to her thigh. It's wet as it grips her. "Dan?" She opens her eyes and looks at him.

"Tell me what you want." She bites her lip and looks around the crowded room. He laughs. "They can't hear you." She lowers her eyes and peeks back at him through her lashes, enjoying the chase. "Fine. Whisper it to me."

She tugs him close to her and nips at his ear. "Put your fingers back in me." He does as he's told, but he doesn't move them. "Fuck me with them, Humphrey." He groans and slides them out and pushes them back in. He pulls back to watch her face. She's trying to keep it even, but she can feel her eyes clouding and becoming heavy. She's going to come hard. She knows it. All the people and Dan and his fingers. She starts to gasp and twitch. "Dan, harder." She cries out when his hand slams against her, but no one seems to hear her. He smiles and repeats the action. "My clit." She barely breathes out. His thumb circles it and applies pressure. His fingers move inside of her. "Oh. Oh." She's so happy this is a big table and no one can see her hips bucking. She looks at him and she can't catch her breath. She's coming. Fast and hard. He leans forward quickly and captures her lips, swallowing her moans. She grips his face hard. The wave washes over her and leaves, but she's still kissing him. She doesn't want to stop. He finally breaks away and looks at her with a cocky grin. She returns it. She whimpers when he withdraws his hand.

He smiles at her devilishly as he dips his fingers in his drink and stirs the liquid. She gasps out and she can feel herself getting ready again. Her mouth falls open as he takes a long sip.

"Do you want to go to the bathroom?" He looks at her casually.

"Yes. There's one on the third floor that everyone forgets about." She practically pushes him out of the booth and grabs his hand, leading him to the bathroom.

When they get there, she pushes him against the door hard and kisses him roughly. She reaches behind him to lock the door.

He laughs and looks at her with hooded eyes. "Make sure there's no one in here." She leaves him reluctantly and kicks all of the doors open.

"Just you and me, kid." She smiles at him and moves back into his arms. "We have to be fast though." She slides his zipper down and releases him. "Oh. You like a show apparently." She bites her lip and eyes him.

"Go lean against the counter." He tilts his head in the direction. She steps away and grips it with one hand. She uses her other hand to lift her dress. She leans forward slightly, ready for him. He moves behind her and meets her eyes in the mirror.

He leans into her and kisses her neck. He moves the hand that's holding her dress up to the counter. He grips her hips tight and his eyes are dark when they meet hers in the mirror again. "You might want to use both hands." She gasps and he nips at her neck. He enters her hard and fast. She grips the counter until her knuckles are white. He pounds against her. It's rough and it feels so, so good. Their eyes are locked in the mirror. There's a charged desperation between them. She doesn't want to think about what that means.

She picks up the rhythm and he moves his hand to her breast. She's losing her mind. She thinks he might be too. He pushes in again and again. "Touch yourself." Her head falls forward and she moves a hand to her center. She's gone, gone, gone. She's sure that the entire floor can hear her, but she just doesn't care. She's hazy when she feels Dan tensing against her. She grips the sink again as she prepares herself for his release. It's hard and rough. He grunts out her name and she feels another slight shudder. She lowers her hand and rubs her clit roughly until she's finished with her third orgasm as he finishes.

He collapses against her panting. She can't catch her breath either. He stays pressed against her for a few minutes as they both start to get it together.

He pulls out of her and moves away from her. He lowers her dress down slowly, eyes locked on hers in the mirror. He clears his throat and works on fastening his pants. She turns around and watches him. She bites her lip and moves closer to him. "Humphrey."

He raises his eyes to hers and smiles smugly. "Waldorf." He pulls her into his arms and kisses her.

She breaks away, feeling breathless again. "That was pretty incredible."

"Yeah, it was." He cups her face and kisses her again. "I think we should probably get out of here."

"Mmmm." She leans into him more. "Mmmhmmm."

He grabs her hand and leads her out of the bathroom. A few people eye them, but, for the most part, no one notices or cares. She grips Dan's hand tighter and smiles.

"Oh, there's Eric." She tugs Dan in Eric's direction. "Eric!" She shouts over the music and taps him on the shoulder. "We're leaving."

"We are?" Dan's eyes narrow and she furrows her brow.

"Didn't we just decide this?" If she has her way, that was only the beginning of their fun. She's already thinking about their summer apart and capitalizing on the time they have now.

"I thought we decided to leave the bathroom, but if you need….to leave then we definitely can." He eyes her knowingly. Thank God this club is dark and no one can see her blushing. He kisses her cheek. "I'll get our tab."

Eric smiles at her. "Do I even want to know?" She smiles and shakes her head. He studies her for a moment. "Hey, let's go outside and talk." He nods his head toward the balcony exit.

It's a beautiful night, but there aren't many people on the balcony. She goes to the rail and surveys the city. Eric is still studying her when she turns to smile at him. She rolls her eyes. "I can tell you're just dying to interrogate me. Go ahead."

"I don't know that interrogate is the right word for a concerned friend who wants to ask a few questions." He smiles at her.

"Fair point." She turns to face him and waves her hand to get him to speak.

"I know this is all new, as in today new, but have you and Dan discussed what Paris means for the two of you?" He asks gently.

She sighs. "No, which is only odd because it's Dan. You know how he is. He wants to analyze everything." She quirks her mouth to the side and looks away. "I don't know."

"Huh. That is weird." Eric furrows his brow. He's thinking something. He notices her staring at him and smiles good-naturedly.

"Oh, no. You're telling me what you were just thinking about." Blair crosses her arms and plants her feet.

"Well, the way I see it, there are two possibilities for his silence." Blair raises her eyebrows to urge him to continue. "He's either very worried or not worried at all."

Blair considers his line of thinking. "Ok." She nods slowly. "I agree with that. The question, however, is what his thought process is." She frowns and looks around the balcony.

"We both know there's only one way to find that out." Eric reaches a hand out to rub her shoulder.

"Ugh. I know that, Eric, but what if I don't want to know?" She looks down at her shoes. "If I'm being honest, I really think he's worried and if Dan's worried….." She trails off. He's the calm, rational one. It's not a good sign if he's worried or thinks he should be worried. "He's been….different tonight." She thinks back on the way he's been looking at her and touching her. It's all more intense and charged. He holds her hand a little tighter and stares at her a little longer. Even the sex they just had was different. It was amazing, but it had an extra weight. It's like he's capitalizing on their time. Just like she is. They can't both be worried.

"You can't be serious. Dan is crazy about you, Blair. I think he's probably trying to figure out what this means for you guys himself." She raises her head to look at Eric. "Maybe he's trying to figure out if you think it means anything."

"The one time I want him to communicate, he decides to shut down." Blair laughs lightly and shakes her head. "It's just—if he knew how I felt about him then he'd know that this doesn't change what I want with him. Not at all."

"I'm guessing you haven't told him how you feel and that you have no plans to tell him?" Eric narrows his eyes at her.

"It's too soon." She huffs out and turns back to look at the city.

"You're ridiculous. This is, honestly, like déjà vu. I don't even know the intimate details of your relationship, nor do I want to, and I can tell you that Dan is head over heels in love with you." Blair snaps her head around to look at him and Eric rolls his eyes. "No, he hasn't told me. I don't need him to. And I don't think you do either. You know. Don't worry about this. Worst case scenario, it's a few months apart. You guys will be fine. Better than ever, I bet." She smiles hesitantly. She wants to believe that, but something is telling her not to. Serena's happy face and voice enter her mind. Of course, Serena's happy. Her competition is leaving the continent. That's not fair. Serena's been a good friend lately, but she's Serena and Dan's Dan. She worries her bottom lip between her teeth.

"There you are." Dan smiles at her and Eric. "Nate thought he saw you head this way, but he's pretty wasted, and, well, he's Nate. I wonder if we should make sure he gets home alright?" He looks at her and she nods. She's not really feeling very turned on anymore anyway.

"No, no. You two go home. Serena and I can handle Nate." Eric looks at Blair pointedly. He's right. They should talk about this. The sooner the better.

"Eric is right. He and Serena can handle Nate." She looks at Dan and smiles.

"Ok. Thanks, man." He slaps Eric on the back as they make their way out of the club.

* * *

Dan throws his keys on the counter when they get to the loft. The noise startles her out of her thoughts. She turns to look at him with wide eyes.

"Sorry." He steps closer to her and studies her. "You're a million miles away." He tilts his head and laughs wryly. "And, well, you really are going to be that far away soon, so I want you to be here now."

She smiles and looks away. "Paris isn't a million miles away, Dan."

"I know." He leans against the counter and looks down at his feet. "It feels like it might as well be though." He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs when he looks up at her.

"Oh, Dan." She sets her purse down and moves toward him. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him close to her. She sighs and he tightens his hold on her. "Why didn't you say anything? I knew something was off. You've been different and you haven't said much about it. You ramble about everything. I knew it. I knew something was wrong." Her voice starts to crack.

"Hey." He pulls back to look at her. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just—I'm sad my girlfriend is going to be an ocean away for three months. That's normal, Blair." He smiles briefly and brushes her hair back.

"But you didn't tell me. We're supposed to tell each other everything." She pouts her lips and steps out of his arms. "We're already starting to fall apart."

Dan's eyes go wide. "Whoa. You haven't even left yet." He closes the distance she's trying to put between them. "I'm going to need you to be a lot less fatalistic if we're going to be ok through this."

"It just isn't like you to not babble incessantly about your feelings." She shrugs and plays with her fingers.

"Ok, but it also isn't like me to rain on your parade." Oh. That's true. He smiles and takes her hand, leading her to the sofa. He keeps her hand in his after they sit down. "I don't want you to be anything but completely thrilled about this experience. It's going to be fun and it's going to be great for your future. That's why I didn't say anything."

She moves closer to kiss him. She eyes him when she breaks away. "You still should have told me." She presses her lips to his once more before leaning back against the sofa again.

He chuckles and rubs the back of his head with his free hand. "You're right. I should have." He squeezes her hand and she turns her head to look at him. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." She smiles mischievously. "You'll just have to make it up to me."

He grins and moves to her. He kisses her deeply and encourages her to lay back on the sofa. She lies back and her legs spread, so he can fit against her. He settles between her legs and buries his hands in her hair. She sighs into his mouth and takes his face in her hands. She breaks away and looks in his eyes. He rises up on his elbows so he can see her better. "What's wrong?"

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm sad too." Her voice catches on her last words. She bites her lip as tears fill her eyes.

He smiles sadly and shakes his head. "No, Waldorf." He moves a hand to her face and gently wipes a tear away. He sighs. "That does not make me feel any better." He kisses her cheek and moves beside her, taking her in his arms and holding her close.

She rests her head on his chest and runs her hand along his arm. "I'm going to miss you like crazy."

He kisses her hair and her eyes close. "I know. I am too." She tries to quell the worry in her head and heart. She focuses on the steady rhythm of his heart and his hand moving up and down her back soothingly. It's not going away. Only one thing will make it go away.

She takes a deep breath and raises her head to look at him. "Then don't." He looks at her questioningly. She swallows hard. "Come with me, Dan."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you all so much for every single review, favorite, and follow! They are all very appreciated. This chapter is a monster. Everything I write lately turns into something that could probably be broken up into three chapters haha I'm sorry! I'm leaving this as is because I'm over it(lol)**** and ready to move onto the next phase of the story, which starts next chapter...finally. I hope you all enjoy it! Any and all responses are always welcome :)**

Blair stares at Dan, her breathing is starting to come up shallow and she can feel the desperation starting to creep from her veins to her face. She's always been terrible at reading him and this is no exception. Her eyes move over his face anxiously.

"Blair…." He rests his hand on her back as he sits up. He studies her face. "Why?"

She moves out of his arms quickly and sits facing forward. Panic and embarrassment flood her. He doesn't love her. He doesn't want her. Not seriously. Her heart pounds. Hard and fast. She swallows nervously, her mouth is suddenly dry, her throat is tight, so tight. Her eyes scan the room. "I….I." She looks at him. "I don't know why…." She shakes her head. "I don't know why I said that." Why? She looks back at him. "Why? What do you mean why?"

"Why are you asking me to go with you?" He narrows his eyes at her.

She loves him. She can't imagine being away from him for a day, nevermind three months. She can't lose him. She hates the idea of an actual ocean being between them. The implications of that alone terrify her. She loves him. She can't leave him here with Serena free and happy and…._here_ with _him_. She loves him. "I—because I." She feels helpless. "Because I want you to." She shrugs. That's close enough. True enough.

He laughs lightly and wraps his arms around her. He holds her for a minute before he exhales shakily, sadly. "I want to go. I do." She can feel him tense against her.

Her eyes slam shut and her fingers dig into his back. "But?" She asks quietly and rests her head on his shoulder. Here it comes.

He pulls back and stares at her. "It—It's not a but. I just—I have things that I need to take care of here. I can't leave the country for that long. Not right now." She looks at him, feeling confused and hurt. She knows his life. He doesn't have anything that pressing going on. His eyes dart away from hers nervously. Oh. She knows that move. She looks down and collects herself.

She smiles at him. She can almost feel her walls and defenses reconstructing themselves. "Of course."

He reaches for her quickly. His hands land on hers and grasp them tight. It takes her breath away. "No. Don't. Don't do that." She raises her eyes from their hands to his eyes slowly. She smiles softly.

"I understand, Dan. You have….things you need to do." She leans in to kiss him chastely. "It's ok." She keeps her eyes on his, trying to read him. Something's off. It's more than her internship in Paris. She wants to ask, but it's Dan. He tells her everything, even things she doesn't want to know or things she doesn't want to hear. If he doesn't want to tell her something, she's not going to beg. She's played that game before. Never again. She slides her eyes away from his and turns away from him. She didn't see this coming. She rarely sees anything coming with him though. She gets up and crosses to the records on the shelf in front of them. She trails her fingers over them. She should leave….

Her thoughts are interrupted by Dan standing beside her. She turns to look at him and his eyes are intense. He moves into her space. His hand wraps around her waist and his other hand moves to cup her cheek. He holds her gaze until his lips crash hard into hers. She moans and leans into him, returning the kiss, trying to match his intensity. "Blair, I want you. I don't want to be away from you any more than you want to be away from me. It—It—I don't want you to go without me. I don't." He says like she should know it. Her heart races with hope. "I can't though." She looks away and tries to step away from him. He steps closer and tightens his hold on her. "We'll be ok though." He leans in and kisses her again. "We will be. I'm not going to want you any less. I'll want you more. It's three months. We'll be ok. We'll be ok."

"Ok." She says it because she wants to believe it, believe him. She's trying.

"No. Don't—This has nothing to do with how much I want you or care about you. Do you understand that?" His hands slide up her arms to her shoulders to her neck until they finally cup her cheeks. "I want to be with you all of the time. It'd probably creep you out and send you running if you knew how much I think about you and want to be with you." She laughs in spite herself and he smiles. He presses his lips to hers tenderly, relaxing. "That's better. I can't have you thinking that I'm not going with you because I don't want to or because I don't want….I don't want you." He shakes his head and looks away for a moment. "Tell me you understand that."

"Dan, yes, it makes sense." She bites her lip. She can feel tears sting her eyes.

He steps away from her and drops his head in his hands. He runs his hands down his face and looks at her sadly. "You don't understand. You don't understand at all." He shrugs his shoulders. "And you're not even trying."

"I am trying." She says quietly. She can't help that her efforts are coming up short. "I'm trying more than I would have with anyone else. I haven't insulted you and fled the scene, have I?"

He laughs out loud, bitter and it surprises her. "Am I supposed to be grateful for that?"

"You're not supposed to be anything, Dan." She walks toward the kitchen area to grab her purse and jacket. "I was being sincere. I've been nothing but sincere."

"It's just that I've seen you when you want something. I've seen you fight for people who didn't…who didn't….I don't know." He takes a deep breath. "I've seen you fight when you want something." He eyes her. "This is not you fighting for something you want."

She feels like the wind has been knocked out of her. "You're right." She glares at him. "I have fought, I have torn myself apart, I have lost every single thing that I liked about myself fighting for people who don't or can't love me. I have literally sacrificed myself only to end up with nothing. Less than nothing!" She takes a deep breath. He's not Chuck. He's not Nate. This isn't the past. She closes her eyes to try to regain her composure. She purses her lips. "I'm not doing it again. Never." She shrugs and laughs dejectedly. "You taught me that." She turns and heads for the door.

"Ok, you're right. I'm sorry." He walks over and takes her purse and jacket out of her hands. She has to fight a smile when he walks them back over to the counter and sets them down. "I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to lose yourself with me or feel like you're sacrificing everything. I don't." He shakes his head. "You have to give me something here though. I can't do this if you're not going to help."

"Dan…." She goes to grab her things again, but he beats her to it and picks them up off the counter. He walks them back to his room and shuts the door.

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms when he comes back into the room. "I don't care. You're not leaving upset." He crosses his arms too and plants his feet, he's going to fight even if she isn't apparently. "I have faith in us. All I'm asking is for you to do the same. Even if I want to be with you all of the time, I shouldn't have to be for this relationship to survive."

"It's not about faith at this point. You don't want to come with me. That's a problem." She looks around, feeling helpless. "You say you want me to fight, well, asking you to come with me was me fighting." She locks her eyes on his. "That was a big step for me and you don't want come with me. I don't know what else I can do."

"Blair…." He groans and she looks at him with wide eyes. "I've told you repeatedly that I want to go with you."

"Then what's stopping you?" He opens his mouth to respond and she cuts him off. "Oh, I'm sorry. You have things you have to take care of." She scoffs.

"I do." He looks around the room in confusion. "Do you think I don't have a life? I have things I need to do and take care of this summer."

"You're being cryptic." She shakes her head and drops her gaze to the floor for a moment.

He puts his hands over his face and drops his head back. "Alright. I'm trying to be patient because I know you've been burned in the past. I understand that." He takes a deep breath and steps closer to her. "I'm not playing you."

"Then why do I feel like there's something you're not telling me." She asks quietly. She wonders if she even wants to know.

"There's not." He swallows hard. "There's nothing that you need to be worried about."

She narrows her eyes. "You're not telling me something." He doesn't say anything, he just stares at her. She can't stop herself. "How does Serena factor into this?"

"You're joking." He looks down at the floor before looking back at her. "Please tell me you're joking."

"I wish I was." She says icily.

"Fine. Fine." He eyes her and raises an eyebrow. "Let's play." He laughs humorlessly and tilts his head to the side. "Maybe _you_ should tell _me_ how Serena factors into this. And how Nate and Chuck factor into this." He looks away, collecting his thoughts. "The sad truth is that there are more than two people in this relationship. There always have been."

She scoffs. "Did I miss the part where you found me making out with one of them in your elevator?"

"I don't have an elevator." He sighs and raises a hand in exasperation.

"Oh, that's cute." She frowns at him. "Dan, I'm serious."

"I know you are. But I'm not. Not about Serena." He softens as he studies her. "If you knew—if you understood how I feel about you, you would also understand how ridiculous this conversation is."

She sighs and closes her eyes. "I'm not doubting how you feel about me." Her eyes are drawn back to his when they open again. "I'm not. I know and I understand. Mostly because I think I feel the same way." She concedes honestly. There's still something though….. "But—I don't know. I can't help it. I'm worried about what you had with her. And you guys were making out just before we got together and you had breakfast together. I know you said it didn't mean anything, but it, clearly, meant something to her. And you can't just go around kissing someone you loved without it meaning _something_." She shrugs and she can feel the frenzied worry in her eyes. "I mean—It's plaguing me already. What you had with her; what you still have with her apparently. I haven't even left yet and I can't shake this worry." She lowers her head to shaky fingers.

"Blair, hey." He reaches for her and takes her hands in his. He tilts his head and looks at her sympathetically. "Come here." She purses her lips and her eyes feel watery as they dart over him. He smiles warmly, trying to calm her down. "I don't want her. You know that." He lets go of one of her hands so he can cup the side of her face. His thumb strokes her cheek tenderly. "I only kissed her because I was upset and dejected and I couldn't get a read on you. It's not a good reason, but there it is. I wish I hadn't done it, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because now it's making you worry about something you don't need to worry about. As for the breakfast, which I barely even remember, you know how I told you that you jump to conclusions and don't listen? That breakfast was a result of that."

She furrows her brow. "So it's my fault you went to breakfast with Serena?"

"No. You're doing it again. I'm not finished." He looks down at their intertwined fingers before looking back at her.

She sighs. "Ok. Sorry." She says softly.

He looks at her with a mix of surprise and amusement. "Th-thank you." He nods his head before continuing. "I told Serena that I couldn't go to breakfast with her that morning. She called and I said no. I wanted to spend as much time with you as you were willing to spend with me. Breakfast with Serena is nice, but a minute with you is...it's everything." He locks eyes with her. "I'd take it everytime. I'd take _you_ everytime. But then you and your warped logic came trampling through so I went to have breakfast with my friend."

She can feel what was left of her resolve melting away. He's good. He's so good. "Still feels like you're saying it's my fault." She sniffs out because she feels like she should.

He half-laughs, half-groans. "I'm not. It's no one's fault. It was breakfast! No one needs to be held responsible for it." She frowns and cuts her eyes away. He softens again. "If someone does, though, then it's me. It was my choice. You can drive me up the wall, but if I react then that's on me." He shakes her hand slightly to prompt a response.

"Your choice?" She bites her lip. "Oh. O-ok." He is so mature about everything. It's refreshingly disconcerting.

He takes a deep breath. "Blair, this is not going to be a recurring topic, ok?" He looks at her pointedly. "We're sorting this out right now. I don't want this coming up every month for years or lying dormant and coming up at a bad time." He moves even closer to her. "I'm in this. With _you_. Only you. I trust you." He purses his lips as he considers his next words. "I was up against a lot with you and your history with Chuck, but I trusted you. I mean I know he's out of the picture now, but the point is I trusted you enough to start this and I trusted you once we were in it. I trust you now too. I trust that you know what we could have. I trust that you know what we already do have. The same way that I do." He strokes her cheek affectionately. She can't stop herself from leaning into his touch. "You're about to leave. You're going to a different continent. We have to be together on this. You have to trust me and believe in the way I feel about you. It's not going to work if we don't both have some faith." He shakes his head and smiles slightly. "You are the queen of warped logic and while I find it charming most of the time, in this scenario, it worries me." He takes a deep breath and studies her. "We have to get on the same page about this before you leave or I—I don't know what's going to happen when I'm not with you physically to talk you off the ledge." His eyes search hers.

"Don't say things like that. It makes me nervous." She wraps her free hand around his wrist and grips it tight.

He nods and looks away. His eyes are intense when they land on hers again. "Maybe you should be nervous. Maybe I should be nervous. I don't know how else to get through to you right now." He squeezes her hand tight. "Just—just talk to me. Let me help you sort this out." He leans forward and presses his lips to hers.

She cuts her eyes away for a moment. She wants him; she wants them. She has to try. She takes a steadying breath and looks at him again. "Chuck is different than Serena, Dan. Even before everything happened it was different. He's dark and a mess and is—is not good for me. I know that. If we lived in some crazy alternate universe where I might still consider him, he's still not going to be in Paris with me. Serena's light and airy and sweet and is not bad for you. She's a lot of things, but she's not toxic and she's going to be here." She laughs bitterly. "This is my nightmare, to be honest."

He sucks in a breath. "Waldorf." He says it so quietly she almost didn't hear it. Her eyes are watery when they land on his. He leans forward and kisses her forehead. "Serena is a lot of things. Bad things, good things, but she's not you, Blair."

She sighs and steps away from him. "No. No, she's not me. She's the sun and Chuck's a black hole and Nate's a space cadet and you're the moon and I don't know what I am." She grumbles.

He laughs affectionately. She glares at him and he sighs, moving closer to her. "May I tell you what you are? To me? Hmm?" He nudges her shoulder playfully. She shrugs half-heartedly. "Oh, no. Perk up, pretty girl. You're going to like this." She laughs and kisses his cheek.

"I'm not perky, Dan." She meets his gaze and looks at him like he should know that.

"Not all of the time, but you are sometimes." His eyes widen and he tilts his head. "Sometimes you're downright bubbly."

"Stop placating me." She says quietly.

"How is that placating you?" He looks at her with wide eyes. "You're not this dark and twisted monster that you've got it in your head that you are. You're human, Blair. You have good days and bad days. We all do. The bad days do not define you. Not entirely. You've been through a lot, but that also means you've overcome a lot. I—God—I wish you could see yourself the way I see you." He takes her face in his hands and kisses her.

"Dan." She closes her eyes tight and looks down. She's a mess that he doesn't deserve to be stuck with cleaning up. "I'm sorry—about all of this. I'm trying. I really am."

"Don't apologize." He pulls her into a tight hug. She loves his hugs. How will she go so long without one? She pouts and tightens her own hold on him. "I know you're trying. I do. I just hate that you have to try at all. I want this to feel as good and peaceful for you as it does for me." He murmurs into her hair and presses a kiss there. His hands move over her back soothingly.

She pulls back to look at him and smiles. "It does, Dan. It does." She leans forward and presses her lips to his chastely for a long moment. She opens her eyes and finds his already on her. "If I tell you something, will you tell me what I am to you? Despite my apparent apathy, I really did want to hear that." She peeks at him through her lashes.

He laughs and kisses her forehead. "I'll tell you for free. Every day for the rest of your life. Or until you finally come to your senses and kick the goofy guy from Brooklyn to the curb."

"Deal." She says quietly. She looks at him with wide eyed wonder. He just says stuff like that. Like it's normal and it's not a big deal. He believes in them. In her. And it's just that easy. She leans in to kiss him. "I hope you realize, Dan, that I never plan on coming to my senses." She nuzzles her nose against his. She's in this so deeply and completely. "You're not goofy...all of the time." She laughs as he rolls his eyes. She kisses him again. "I'm telling you my something now." She takes a deep breath. "It gets easier with every passing minute to trust you without thinking or worrying about it. I only brought up the Serena stuff because I—I, well, I freaked out. I want you to come with me. You have a life here, I understand that. I respect that." She nods and looks at the ground for a moment. "I do know what I have with you and I want it to work. I want it to last. I'm going to stop getting in my own way, in our way." She smiles hesitantly.

"That's good, Waldorf." He kisses her passionately. "I see all of that time spent with the dashing writer is paying off."

"Oh, God. Here we go. One nice comment and your ego gets overblown." She can't hide her amusement. He hugs her tight and presses several wet, noisy kisses to her cheek. She can't stop giggling. He loosens his grip so he can look at her.

"See. Bubbly. And happy." He says as he brushes a curl off her shoulder. "That's my Blair." She swallows hard.

"What else is your Blair?" She has to know. These moments are like a salve for her heart. They make it beat fast and happy, somehow repairing years of damage in a matter of minutes.

He smiles warmly and strokes her cheek. "My Blair, Blair as she actually is, is the sun, the moon, the stars, the whole galaxy. She's dark, she's light, she's happy, she's sad, she's adorable, she's mean, she's a schemer, she's loyal, she's sexy, she's brilliant, she's razor sharp, she's fragile, she's witty, she's stunning…." He locks his eyes on hers. "She's everything I could ever describe and nothing I could ever explain. She is everything." She throws herself against him and squeezes him as tight as she can. The force of it makes him laugh breathlessly, warmly. "I wouldn't want her any other way and I don't want anyone else this way or that way. I only want her." His hands run over her back gently.

"I love you." It falls from her mouth naturally, on a breath. She's not sure he even heard it until he's pulling back to face her.

"Blair..." It wasn't a question but she nods her head anyway. He rushes forward and captures her lips. His hands cup her face and she grabs onto his wrists. He breaks away, searching her eyes. "I love you too." He kisses her again. "I—you brat." She furrows her brows and he laughs. "I was waiting for the perfect time to tell you—first—and you just go and blurt it out."

She laughs and covers her mouth. "I don't know what happened." She smiles and shakes her head. "It slipped out. It felt right."

He returns her smile and kisses her. "It does feel right." He kisses her again. And again.

Her eyes search his. "You love me, Dan? You're not just saying it because I did?" She peers up at him nervously.

"No." He shakes his head vehemently. "No. I wouldn't do that. I—" He laughs. "I'm actually kind of surprised you didn't already know. I had a fear that I would plan this whole romantic thing and you would just be like un-phased because it's so ridiculously obvious." He kisses her cheek. "I love you so much."

Her eyes dance over his. "I love you." She smiles wide. "I'm glad I still inspire fear in you, though, Humphrey. It's important that we keep the natural order of life."

He chuckles. "_I'm_ glad we're not going to let love get in the way of banter." His eyes study hers and she can see it plain as day. He does love her. She smiles and he kisses her deeply.

They laugh and kiss all the way to the bedroom.

* * *

She gets an email with her trip details a few days later. They're strolling, arm in arm, through the Met, when her phone goes off. She sighs contentedly as she pulls her phone out of her bag.

"Oh." She frowns and stops moving. Dan stops with her and looks at her curiously, almost nervously. She waves her phone. "I got my internship details. I start in a week. They have me booked on a flight tomorrow afternoon so I can get settled before I start." She drops her phone back into her purse. "Nice notice, huh?" She laughs humorlessly and fidgets with her fingers.

He lets out a breath and nods slowly. "Ok." He looks around and leans back on his heels. He exhales again. "Maybe we should get out of here." She nods and lets him lead her out of the museum.

It's been dark for hours and they've been in his bed since they got back from the Met. She thinks they've made love a few times, but she really can't be sure. It's felt like one long, emotional, exploratory session. She's been trying to memorize everything about him. She loves it all.

She sighs as she watches Dan watch her. They're on their stomachs, facing each other. The sheet barely draped over them is the only thing they have on. He rises up suddenly and leans over her. He moves her hair to the side and leaves a trail of kisses down her back, starting at her neck and ending just above the curve of her bottom. He moves his hand over her bottom slowly, moving the sheet even lower as he studies her body. She sighs. "I love your hands, Dan." It comes out sleepy and quiet.

He must have been lost in thought because he jumps slightly before he turns his head to smile at her. "That's convenient because my hands love you." She laughs quietly as he moves so his head is resting beside hers on his pillow. He runs his hand through hair and kisses her slowly. "You sound so tired. Why don't you go to sleep?" He kisses her forehead. "Hmmm?"

"I don't want to go to sleep." She locks her eyes on his and pouts her lips.

"Waldorf…." He presses his lips to hers. "I'll finish the job if I have to." He smirks at her. She bites her lip, half-way wishing he would. "Ok, well, it's not even about you now. You can't look at people like that." He sucks in a breath and moves his lips to her ear. "Turn over." She does and he moves over her. He kisses all the way from her mouth to her center. He hooks his arms around her legs. One of his hands moves up and down her thigh while the other one rests on her hip. He looks up at her. "Did you add that last Wes Anderson movie to your queue?" He kisses her stomach and looks back at her. "I've been dying to talk to you about it."

"I know. I did it last night." She sighs out happily. He smiles at her before he lowers his head again. He presses his lips to her slowly. She gasps and shifts and that's it. He's a man on a mission after that. She buries her hands in his hair as she watches him through half-closed eyes. She moves one of her hands to his hand on her hip and he moves it so he can grip her hand tight as she gets taken away. He slides back up her body when she comes down and kisses her. She fights to stay awake and plunges her tongue into his mouth. "Mmmm. Dan…." He leaves kisses along her jaw.

He pulls back and smiles at her warmly. "Shhh." He presses his lips to hers. "Go to sleep."

* * *

She fought the idea, but Dan insisted they go to brunch at Rufus and Lily's so she could say goodbye to everyone. She had to pack anyway so she relented.

It was probably a bad idea. She leans into him the whole time, her hand moving up and down his thigh. He cuts his eyes to her in amused warning when she gets too close. She smiles into his shoulder every time as their family and friends continue to talk around them, seemingly oblivious to Blair's seduction attempts. She doesn't miss Serena stabbing her waffle as her eyes pass over them. Blair clears her throat and reaches for her mimosa; apparently not everyone is oblivious. He's hers now, though, so she slides her hand back up and presses it against him. He coughs and shakes his head as everyone turns to look at him. "I'm—I'm ok." He nods and clears his throat. She raises her eyebrows and leans away from him innocently. "Blair, those movies I wanted to give you that I left here? I—uh—I think we should go get those."

"Oh?" She asks casually. His eyes darken and ruin her game. She jumps up and throws her napkin on the table. "Yes. I did want you to give me those movies."

"Mmmm." She moans out as Dan presses her hard against the door of his room at Rufus and Lily's. His lips move over hers and his hands roam over her breasts hungrily.

"Do you think they know?" He breaks away to leave a trail of kisses down her neck.

"Oh, who cares?" She gasps out in delight as he finds the zipper to her dress and pulls down the top. His mouth moves to her breast through her barely there bra. "Oh. You are such a goody two shoes." She teases as he groans and tosses her bra aside. He lowers his head and takes her nipple into his mouth. She sighs desperately and pushes him away from her reluctantly. He looks at her in confusion. She tries to catch her breath. "I think I owe you one, Humphrey." She licks her lips and moves back toward him. The corner of his mouth tugs up in a slow smile. She pulls his sweater off of him and her hands quickly move to unbuckle his pants and free him. He steps out of his jeans and boxers. She kisses him and roams her hands over his back and chest before she drops to her knees before him. She grips the back of his thighs and takes him in her mouth. She feels his hands slide through her hair and tug gently as she works her mouth over him. It's not long before the tugs get a little rougher and his breathing picks up.

"Wait, wait. Blair. This is…This is probably the last time before you leave." He pants out. She pulls back to look at him and wipes at her mouth. "I don't—I want to be inside you." His eyes lock on hers. She nods and he helps her to her feet. She kisses him and backs him onto the bed. She tosses her underwear aside hastily. He leans back and is trying to catch his breath. "Oh my God. You have to hurry. I'm so sorry, but I hope you're close." She lowers herself onto him and presses her hands against his chest as she starts to ride him slowly. His eyes shut tight and he groans loudly. She bites her lip mischievously; he doesn't seem too concerned about who know what anymore. He grips her hips and picks up the pace. "Shit." He moves his hand to her clit quickly and roughly. It works and she's about to come. He leans forward and presses his mouth against hers to drown out their sounds. "Jesus." He collapses back on the bed, bringing her with him as she tries to catch her breath. That may have been worth the brunch.

By the time they recover and go back downstairs, brunch has pretty much cleared out. It's only Rufus, Lily, and Eric sitting in the living room.

"Oh, you two are still here." Rufus calls out innocently as Dan follows behind Blair into the living room. "What movies did you get?"

She holds up a box. "Hal Ashby's 'The Landlord'. It's the first one on our list." She smiles and rubs her hand down Dan's back. He's still a little out of it. She kisses his cheek. "We'll start our email discourse on Monday." She wraps a hand around his waist and squeezes. "Right, Humphrey?" He could not be more obvious.

"Right. Right." He nods dazedly.

Lily asks Rufus a question and Blair takes the opportunity to pull Dan to the side. "Dan, are you still with me?" She smiles at him mischievously.

He laughs breathlessly and his eyes lock on hers. "Barely." He shoves his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, poor Humphrey." She steps closer and runs a hand down his arm mockingly.

"Alright." He rolls his eyes and takes her in his arms. He goes to kiss her chastely, but she steps away.

"I'm not sure you can take much more." She shrugs her shoulders teasingly.

He grabs her again. He lands his kiss this time and she laughs into it. "I can take it. I promise." He whispers and moans softly into her ear. She laughs again and steps away from him. She scrunches up her face and shakes her head, having fun teasing him. He mimics the action and steps into her space again. She squeals out playfully and goes to move around him but he catches her from behind and pulls her against him.

"Alright, you two." Rufus admonishes from his seat on the sofa as Lily pretends not to see them and Eric looks sick.

"You're such a bad influence, Humphrey." Dan laughs and keeps his arms wrapped around her from behind as he walks them back to the action.

He kisses her neck and looks at his father and step-family. "Who's planning on entertaining me this summer, by the way?" He rests his head on her shoulder and tightens his hold on her waist. She runs her hands over his arms. The elevator dings and she tries to look to see who it is, but Dan takes it as an opportunity to peck her lips. She laughs and turns back around.

"Not me." Eric says and throws his hands up. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at the two of you again after this show."

"Glad I'm not alone." Chuck. Her eyes shut and she feels Dan tense against her. He lets her go and they both turn to look at him.

"Well, I think that's our cue….." Dan grabs her hand and looks at his family. "Bye. I'll see you guys later."

Blair smiles at Lily and Rufus. "Thank you for brunch." They nod their acceptance. "I'll talk to you later, Eric." She smiles at him as Dan starts to lead her away.

"Wait. I—" Chuck steps in front of them. "I'd just like to talk to Blair for a minute."

Dan scoffs. "I'm sure you would. It's not happening though."

Blair rolls her eyes. The testosterone is too dramatic for her blood these days. "Chuck, whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of Dan."

Chuck narrows his eyes. "Fine. Can we at least speak in private?" Dan turns to look at her.

She sighs and gestures to the hallway. "I have to pack. You have two minutes."

"Blair, I want to apologize for….for everything I put you through, for everything I've done to you." Chuck says in his raspy voice. It sounds sincere and so she accepts it as such.

She nods her head curtly. "Thank you, Chuck. I appreciate that." She goes to press the button for the elevator when he puts his hand out.

"I also just wanted you to know—" He looks at Dan and scowls. He cuts his eyes back to her and moves closer to her, like he's only addressing her now. She looks over at Dan and tries not to laugh at his exasperated face. "I want you to know that I'm still here. I will always be here. If you ever need or want _anything_, you know where to find me."

Dan laughs loudly. "You have got to be kidding me." He squeezes her hand in his.

"Chuck…." She says quietly and shakes her head. "That's just not happening. It wasn't before that night and it certainly isn't going to after that night."

"Are you doing this to prove a point?" Chuck asks her, like he doesn't believe her.

"No." She says calmly. She needs to find a way for him to get this or she'll be dealing with it for a long time to come. That's the last thing she wants for him or for her. She looks around the room trying to find a way. "Do you remember I told you that someday I would kiss someone and it would be for me?" He huffs and darts his eyes away from her. He is so dramatic. How did she ever think she could do this for the rest of her life? "Every time I kiss Dan, it's for me, Chuck. Every time. I promise you that it has nothing to do with you or Serena or anyone other than me and him." Chuck's mouth falls open and he looks away like he's been slighted. "I'm not telling you this to be cruel. I'm telling you this so that you can move on, for good. Because—because I have. I'm not going back to you. Not after him."

Chuck scoffs and eyes Dan. "You may feel that way now, but you'll change your mind." He looks at her pointedly. "We need each other. I need you, Blair." Dan steps forward a little, placing himself between them almost.

She raises a hand to Dan's arm and looks at Chuck. "I'm sorr—Actually, I'm not sorry. I'm through feeling sorry for you." She shakes her head and laughs, feeling lighter. "If you don't like your life, change it. Do something about it. My God. You certainly have the means. You shouldn't be so reliant on me anymore. I'm not yours. I haven't been in a long time and I never will be again." She finishes softly. This time she squeezes Dan's hand in hers. He's been looking at the floor, trying to maintain his composure and not interrupt, but he tilts his head toward her and gives her a small, affectionate smile when he feels the pressure. She looks in his eyes and it's all so clear. "I want a shot at something real. I never thought I could have this or even knew I wanted it or that it existed, but I want it." She reluctantly tears her eyes away from Dan's so she can look at Chuck and make sure he knows it's real. "I want a real life….with Dan." She sighs and finally presses the elevator button.

Chuck smiles sadly and nods his head. "Ok, Blair." She can tell he doesn't quite believe her, but she hopes time will help him. He's not her concern or responsibility anymore though. She offers him a small smile as she steps into the elevator with Dan.

She and Dan are standing opposite each other in the elevator. "Come here, Humphrey." She gestures for him to come to her. He steps into her open arms and she kisses him. "I'm sorry about that." She looks up at him sadly.

"Why? I loved every word you said." He looks down at her and smiles tenderly. "Besides, I feel like he might actually get it now. The saga might actually be over. I mean I don't know how he thought he'd have any type of shot with you after…." He shakes his head in dismay. "Whatever. You made it clear." He kisses her again. "You are all about Dan Humphrey." He winks at her.

She snorts and pushes him away playfully. "Not if you keep that up." She smiles back at him as he trails behind her through the lobby.

* * *

They're sitting at the airport. She's leaning against him. Her eyes drifting shut. He adjusts next to her but keeps his arm tight around her. "Dan, can I tell you something?" She asks against his chest.

"You can tell me anything." He presses a kiss to the top of her head and strokes her arm.

She pulls away so she can look up at him. "I have this whole fantasy where we run away to Paris together. I think that's part of why I forced the issue so much. I could see it so clearly in my head, before I was even offered the internship." She casts her eyes down as she continues. "We'd be so happy and….and free. No one could touch us." She smiles to herself as she imagines it. "We'd leave all of the drama behind us." She looks back up at him and shrugs. "We'd just be Dan and Blair, two cultural savants in love in the city of love. Not Lonely Boy and Queen B." She sighs and his eyes soften as he takes her in. He pulls her in close with his arm that's still around her. His other hand slides into her hair and he kisses her deeply.

He breaks away and looks at her thoughtfully. "We'll be ok no matter where we are. I promise." She nods and lets out a deep breath. She smiles the best that she can. His eyes stay on her and he opens his mouth to say something, but decides not to. He pulls her against his chest and rests his head on hers. "I love you."

Her eyes close as she listens to the steady beat of his heart. "I love you too." It's so easy. She swallows hard and settles closer to him. Right as she starts to feel better, the announcement for her flight booms through the airport. Her eyes fly open and she pulls away from him. She looks at him and smiles sadly. "I guess I should go."

He leans back and nods. She watches him and he looks unsure and nervous. Oh no. She gulps and leans down to pick up her carry-on. "I'll walk with you to the door." He stands and holds his hand out for her.

She shakes her head and rises to her feet, ignoring his outstretched hand. "Let's just do it here." She wipes at a tear. "Get it over with."

"Stop it." He says gently and takes her face in his hands. "You're going to have fun and I'll be here waiting for you when you get back. We all will be." He cringes slightly as he says it. That does not comfort her and they both know it. He passes over it though and smiles. "We'll talk every day and we have our Netflix queues ready. It'll be ok." He kisses her forehead. "We'll be ok." She smiles and steps closer to kiss his lips. She nods and walks away. Leaving Dan behind for the whole summer. Without her. With Serena.

* * *

She's settled into her chair, looking out the window at all of the activity on the tarmac. She feels someone sit down in the chair beside her. They're breathing hard and fumbling with the seat belt, just generally disturbing her melancholy. This is really not the day. She turns her head slowly to glare at them when her heart speeds up. She knows those hands. She'd know those hands anywhere. Her eyes fly to his face and he's smiling at her brilliantly. "Dan…." She grabs his face and kisses him. He laughs against her lips. "What are you doing? What about….your things you have to do?" She asks as her eyes dance over his face.

"They can wait." He shrugs and leans forward to capture her lips again. "I mean only for like a week, unfortunately. I really can't stay longer than that, but your whole thing about the fantasy….It was—I couldn't deny you that because I'm an idiot." He shakes his head and looks down.

"Dan. Oh my God. That's ok. That's ok." She bounces in her seat and tugs on his arm as she smiles uncontrollably. "It's enough time. We'll be better than ever after a week in Paris together. Just us." She leans into him again and runs her fingers along his jaw. She kisses him long and sweet. "Just us in Paris." She looks in his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you, Humphrey."

"I—Uh—I…." He runs a hand over the back of his head. "I couldn't wrap my mind around doing everything I'm doing to protect us, to protect you, and then not doing the one thing you're _asking_ me to do…..the one thing that I want to do." His eyes search hers and he kisses her again. "If you want something, anything I want to give it to you." He rests his forehead against hers.

Dan and his words and his lips are all so perfect that she forgets to ask him what he's talking about and why he seems so guilty when he's making her dream come true.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews, faves, and follows! This chapter is set up differently from the others. There will be present and past moments in Paris (some of you guys read my mind lol). I've added "flashback" before each one bc I don't want there to be any confusion. When there's a line break after a flashback it's back in the present. Also, the flashbacks aren't in sequential order. I've tried to make it not so random and have there be some kind of thread that connects everything. I hope it makes sense! If it doesn't and there are questions, please let me know! This will only be the formatting for one or two more chapters, basically until all of the Paris stuff is taken care of. Some of it is supposed to be weird/confusing/unknown, but it'll all make more sense in the next chapters. There's some french in here that I definitely got from google so if it's wrong I'm so sorry. Blame google. ;)**

Blair rises from the bed slowly and pulls her robe on. The sound of someone knocking at her door ruined her peaceful nap. She frowns as she shuffles to her vanity for her phone. It's only 6:30. He's not supposed to be here until 8. He's always, frustratingly, early, but this is too much. She has to get him in line. A wave of nausea rolls through her. It's intense. Her eyes shut and she grips the vanity hard. Another, more insistent, knock sounds throughout her apartment. She glares in the direction of the living room as she tightens the tie on her robe and smooths out her hair. She takes a deep breath and moves toward the door.

She doesn't even make it to the door before another knock rings out. "Oh my God." She grumbles to herself. "I am coming!" She yells out in annoyance. She throws the door open, ready to yell, but she can't when she sees him. "Dan…." She says softly and a small smile starts to tug at her lips. Then her momentary amnesia dissipates. She grips the door hard and narrows her eyes. "What are you doing here, Humphrey?"

* * *

_Flashback_

She keeps convincing him to stay. One extra day at a time. One extra site that he just has to see at a time. One extra day in bed at a time. It works for an extra week before he insists that he really has to leave. He's still not giving her much information, but she's having faith and trusting him.

They're at the airport, arms wrapped around each other. They've called his flight, but she can't let him go. She pulls back to look at him.

"Don't…." She bites her lip and looks at the floor. "Don't cut your hair while I'm gone." She mutters and looks around nervously to make sure no one can hear them.

He laughs breathlessly and she peeks up at him to see his eyes are bright and playful. "What?"

"Don't cut your hair while I'm gone." She pushes him backwards and crosses her arms.

He bites his lip and studies her. "Why?"

She frowns and rolls her eyes. "I like it." She almost whispers. He raises his eyebrows. She huffs. "I like that I'm the only one who's had you with long hair. I like it."

"Oh." He sucks in a breath and cups her face as his lips move against hers. "Mmmm." He moves closer to her and her arms wrap around him. "I like that you like that." He whispers against her mouth before he kisses her again and again and again.

She rests her forehead against his. "It looks so awful that I'm sure it'll repel other girls from you too." She sighs sweetly as she plays with the neckline of his t-shirt.

He laughs and kisses her gently. "I love you too, Blair."

She smiles up at him. "Then you won't cut it?" She moves her hands over his shoulders, finding herself distracted with his body. She wants him like crazy, even more than usual, but his flight is already boarding.

"Then I won't cut it, Miss Possessive." He kisses her cheek and pulls her into a tight hug. "I have to go now." He pulls back and eyes her sadly. He strokes her cheek and kisses her lips. "I'm going to miss you." She nods and takes a deep, shaky breath. "Ok. I'll call you when I get home." He takes a deep, shaky breath of his own and looks at her one last time before he leaves her.

"Dan!" She calls out and moves to catch up with him. He turns to look at her, somewhat surprised by her outburst. "I do you know." He furrows his brow. "I love you. I love you more than anything in the world." She smiles at him. "I love you more than the sun and the stars and the space cadet and the black hole. I love you. More." He smiles and closes the distance between them. He drops his carry-on and wraps his arms around her. His lips crash into hers and she moans and grips at him desperately.

He steps back from her and takes her hand. He looks down at their hands. "I love you most." His eyes rise to lock on hers. "I love you. Most." She laughs and her eyes water. "Two and a half months, Waldorf. We've got this." He brings her hand to his lips and she nods. They've got this.

* * *

Only they didn't and they don't.

"What are you doing here, Humphrey?" Her voice is cold and unfamiliar, even to herself.

"I'm fighting for you." He says confidently. "It—It's the only thing I know to do." She keeps her eyes on his and takes a deep breath. Why is he doing this? Now? A month later? His eyes pass over her. "Why are you in your robe? It's almost 7 at night. Are you sick?" And, of course, as he says it the nausea creeps up and settles in her. Her eyes shut and her hand moves to her stomach.

"Now that you've reminded me…." She turns and runs to the bathroom. She can feel him following quickly behind her. She slams the door hard in his face and rushes to the toilet.

He's leaning against the wall, waiting for her when she finally comes out a few minutes later. "Are you ok?" He asks softly and approaches her. He moves her hair from her face and she's missed this. She shakes her head and backs away from him.

"I'm fine. Don't fuss over me." She frowns at him and moves to the kitchen. He's like a shadow. "Humphrey, no one needs you here. I don't know why you're following me around like a lost puppy." She grumbles over her shoulder as she pulls out a bottle of water.

"What's wrong?" He asks with concern from behind her.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just a little under the weather, hence the robe. It'll pass." She leans against the counter and sighs. "You should really leave. Louis will be here soon." She knows that's why he's here. He saw the paparazzi pictures of them together and now he's jealous and has decided he made a mistake.

"I don't care." He leans against the counter across from her and studies her. "You don't look sick. You look—" He looks down and when he looks at her again his eyes are full of everything she's missed. "You look different. I mean you look beautiful, you're always beautiful, but it's more…. Something is different." He's staring at her so intently it makes her nervous.

Her eyes dart around the room. He needs to get off of this topic. "Well, you look like a muppet." She says snidely and gestures to the mop of hair on his head.

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well, my girlfriend asked me not to cut it so I'm not." He says pointedly and moves closer to her.

She inhales sharply and looks away from him. "I'm not your girlfriend." She can feel the ice in her eyes when she looks back at him.

His eyes darken and narrow. He looks away from her for a moment. "I guess I missed the part where you actually broke up with me. Was it the cryptic email, the ignored phone calls, or the pictures of you and the prince traipsing around France that were supposed to be the tip off?" His voice has an unfamiliar edge.

"Fine. If you need me to spell it out for you, I will." She raises her left hand and brushes her hair off of her shoulder. She sees his eyes move to her finger. She also sees the hurt and shock that settle in them. "We are over. Forever. Period."

"Blair…." He says breathlessly and moves forward to take her hand. His touch is soft and warm and she's missed it desperately. She swallows hard. "Are—Are you serious? You're _engaged _to him?" His eyes are wet as they study hers.

She arches an eyebrow and removes her hand from his. "Perceptive as always, Humphrey."

"Why?" He swallows a lump in his throat and shakes his head. "Why are you doing this? I don't understand."

Her eyes snap to his and the anger and hurt and jealousy all rage through her veins. She brushes past him, out of the kitchen, past the living room, into her bedroom. She throws open the closet doors and pulls out the box that the infernal thing was shipped to her in. She takes it in her hands and she wants to rip it to shreds, page by horrible page. _Inside _by Anonymous. She scoffs to herself. Anonymous. The only thing anonymous about any of this is the blessed soul that sent this to her. If it hadn't been for them she'd never had known Dan had written a whole book about someone else while he was with her. Not just someone else, Serena. It was like a dagger to her heart the day she received that box.

* * *

_Flashback_

She's trying to hurry and get inside her apartment. She and Dan have an international phone movie date and she's about to be late. In her haste she drops her keys. She bends to pick them up and she notices a small package. She picks it up and inspects it. It's from home. She smiles to herself. Dan must have sent her a present. Their three month anniversary is coming up soon. She has a present for him too. It's a surprise in the truest sense of the word. His potential reaction makes her nervous and she just wants to give it to him, but she needs to do it in person. She hums and finally goes inside. She sets the box down to her plane ticket for this weekend to New York and she smiles warmly. She's almost certain she won't be coming back alone.

She anxiously tears open the box, but before she can even look inside her phone starts to ring. She assumes it's Dan and runs to answer it. She frowns when she sees it's Louis and hits the ignore button. Ever since he found out she's in France he won't leave her alone. She's tried everything, but he's like a gnat. He won't leave her alone.

She goes back to her package happily and takes out the book. Her smile falls. This isn't from Dan. She inspects it and reads the back cover.

"…'the shocking true story of New York's elite, including the romantic, sprawling love story of the brave author with one of the Upper East Side's most scandalous young ladies. As he puts it, 'If I was being completely honest with myself some part of me had always wanted her, on a basic, primitive level, and always would. You can't stop fate, you can only accept it.'" There's not enough faith or trust in the world for this. The book falls from her hands and she barely makes it to the kitchen sink in time to throw up.

* * *

She walks back into the kitchen and sees Dan leaning against the counter on his elbows, his head in his hands. She drops the book on the counter beside him and he jumps. He takes it in his hands. His eyes shut and his mouth falls open. "I can explain this." He looks at her plaintively.

"I'm sure you can. The only problem is that no one cares about your explanation." She smirks. "I've moved on and it seems you never did so who cares?" He furrows his brow and moves closer to her. "Don't. Don't touch me."

"Blair, please. Don't shut me out. I—I know this looks bad, but it doesn't change anything. Every word I've said to you has been true." He tells her and she almost lets the desperation in his voice throw her off. She ignores it instead.

She scoffs and crosses her arms. "Are you serious? That itself is a lie!" She storms out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"What?! No! No. It's not. I promise. Let me…let me explain it to you. Please." She turns to glare at him, but it loses its force when she sees his face. She's going to have to get over these feelings. "Give me a chance. This is us. You and me, Dan and Blair, two cultural savants in love. Don't give up." He moves toward her and takes her in his arms.

She can feel tears rolling down her cheeks as she looks at him. Oh. She wants to give in and let him make it right. She can't play these games anymore though. Wondering who loves her….It has to be different now. She needs stability. "I gave up weeks ago." She steps out of his arms and looks down at the floor. She tries to discreetly wipe her tears away.

"I don't believe you." He says quietly and she looks up at him helplessly. "Why didn't you tell me you got that? You just started ignoring me and sent me a weird email. I could have explained it. I could have….I don't know. I don't know. It didn't have to be like this." He runs a hand through his hair. "It doesn't have to be like this."

"You know that's a good point." She sniffles and crosses her arms. "You could have explained it. At any point when we were together and you were preaching to me about being open and honest with each other, you could have talked to me about it, but you didn't. And you obviously know where to find me, but I see you decided to wait until Louis and I were exposed. I guess that like every other person who's ever been in my life, you just thought I would wait for you and be with you no matter what you did."

"I didn't think that! I don't think that!" He yells out. It almost makes her sad. He's starting to get that it's over and he's getting nervous and freaked out. She just doesn't know why he cares so much. Surely he doesn't know. There's no way. He softens. "You know I think the world of you. I don't know what you were doing with me in the first place…." He mutters. Her heart sinks and her eyes close. He needs to leave. "Blair, I didn't tell you because it was never supposed to be seen by anyone. It was me writing a fantasy. It wasn't meant to hurt you, at all." He says quietly and she furrows her brow. "Nobody was ever supposed to see it. I didn't come to you when you cut me off because I was still in the process of trying to fight that stupid thing getting published." He says clearly angry with himself. He shakes his head. "I didn't come because I thought maybe your email was honest and that you just needed some space. We were getting serious, fast. I thought maybe it spooked you." His lips curl slightly at the reference. She wants to cry. He has no idea what serious is.

"I wasn't spooked. I was heartbroken." She admits and sits down. She's feeling light headed. She needs to relax and handle this. "I'm in love with you and I thought you were in love with me." She shrugs sadly and looks down at her hands. "Do you have any idea how horrible and embarrassing it was to realize that the entire time I had a crush on you, when I was falling for you, when I was completely and totally happy and in love with you, when you let me make love to you, give my heart to you, when we—" She takes a deep breath to compose herself. He doesn't need to know that yet. "When we were making this life here and in New York and I was blissful and peaceful and content, all that time you were writing about someone else, more than that you were in love with someone else?" She looks back at him as she wipes at her tears with shaky hands. "It's horrible and embarrassing and I was heartbroken. It's _horrible._" She finishes quietly.

"Oh my God…." He moves to her and drops to his knees. He grabs her face and looks at her. "What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean what am I talking about?" She practically wails and takes his hands from her face and shoves them away. "I'm talking about your ode to Serena! The same thing we've been talking about!"

"No. No, no, no, no…." He says mostly to himself and drops his face in his hands.

"You know what is even worse? Sometimes I try to convince myself that maybe you did love me. I know better than anyone that it's possible to love two people at the same time, but then I remember all of the times you told me not to worry about her and…." She puts her hand over her mouth. She feels like she's going to throw up again. She grips the arm of the chair and tries to fight it off. Now is not the time.

Dan is staring at her, looking concerned again. "What's wrong with you? Is this the flu?" He asks softly.

"I told you, it will pass." She says coldly. "I want you to leave."

"Ok." He holds his hands up in surrender and rises to his feet. "I'll leave, but I'm not giving up. I'm never giving up on us. And I don't know where you're getting this idea that I never loved you from, God, I don't even know what you're talking about, honestly, but it's wrong." He chokes on the last word. He has tears in his eyes and she's never felt more confused. He looks at her for a moment and turns to leave. He makes it to the door and he stops to look at her again. "Je t'aime plus que tout au monde." He looks at the floor before raising his eyes back to hers and smiles softly. "I—I practiced." It's perfect.

She chokes back a sob and rushes to the door. She opens it and forces him outside. He looks at her like he's a puppy that she's just kicked and she can't take it. "Don't come back." She tells him with as much of the ice queen as she can muster and shuts the door.

She walks back into her bedroom in a daze. The doors on the long window are open and the breeze is blowing in. She walks over and sees the sun is starting to set. She turns back around and looks at the bed. She runs a hand over her stomach and sits slowly on one of the chairs by the window. She wasn't sure at first, but she knows exactly when it happened. She just knows.

* * *

_Flashback_

The Paris sun is streaming into her bedroom. The doors on the long window are open and the breeze is blowing in.

Dan laughs as he shifts above her, his hair falling into his eyes as he looks down at her. "Say it one more time. I know I can get it."

She wraps her legs around him tighter and leans up to kiss him. "Je t'aime." She smiles up at him as it rolls from her mouth in a nearly perfect French accent.

"Je ….Je t'aime." He says nervously and tilts his head hopefully. She purses her lips and tries not to laugh. He groans out a laugh and lowers his forehead onto the pillow under her head. He looks back at her. "That sounded fine. I think you're messing with me." He kisses her lips. "You just want me to keep saying it." He moves his hips against hers and she breathes out a deep moan as the action pushes him deeper into her.

She moves a hand down the side of his face and wraps it around his neck. "While that's true, I can't have my boyfriend embarrassing me around Paris thinking he's speaking in a good French accent when he's simply not." She scrunches up her face and shakes her head. He rolls his eyes and thrusts against her again. Her breathing falters and she licks her lips. "Mmmm, Dan. That was a good one. I don't know how much longer I can wait."

"Give me the rest and I'll finish." He smiles down at her warmly.

She adjusts under him and sighs. "Je t'aime plus que tout au monde." She pushes on his neck so his lips brush against hers.

"Ok." He grips the side of her hip and lifts her as he presses into her again. He moans and kisses her. "Ok. Je t'aime plus que tout au monde." He beams down at her and she doesn't have the heart to tell him it doesn't sound right. At all. Instead she smiles and nods her approval. "You're head over heels." His lips capture her bottom lip before pressing a full kiss against her mouth. "Skipping opportunities to mock me…." He murmurs playfully against her mouth. She laughs happily and he kisses her again as his hips pick up a slow rhythm and she starts to move hers in time with his.

She sighs and her head presses further back into the pillow. "Mmmm. Je suis absolument head over heels pour vous."

His eyes study hers and his lips twitch upward slightly. "What was that?" His hips start to move a little faster against hers.

"I am absolutely head over heels for you." She moves her hand through his hair and grips it.

"That makes two of us." He smiles and kisses her. His hand trails to her clit and he rubs it until they're both moaning softly against each other's mouths.

She breaks away to catch her breath and he presses harder into her. "Oh. Oh, Humphrey…." She trails off as they let go together.

He stays inside of her and lowers himself onto her carefully when they finish. He rests his head against her shoulder. She presses a kiss into his hair and strokes his messy curls. His hair is getting so long. She thinks she should do something about that because she should hate it, but this is her Dan. Her finger twists around a tendril. No one else has had him like this. She likes that. He kisses her shoulder and moves to lie next to her, but she crosses her ankles over him, keeping him in place. "Not yet." She says softly into his hair. He sighs and settles against her again.

* * *

She's at her vanity, applying her make up. Louis is going to be here soon, even sooner, according to his always early schedule. Oh, she really hates that about him. She shakes it off. Her ring catches her eye in the mirror and she feels something other than the familiar nausea roll through her. It's something closer to dread and she knows why. It's not right, but it's just too bad. The nausea, the hormones, the book, Dan's reactions…..it's all making her so confused. Maybe he did love her, maybe he does, maybe he regrets the book and hurting her, but he wrote it and he felt it. There's too much at stake now. She had a plan and she's sticking with it no matter what. She'll tell Dan soon enough, but they're not going to be somebody's obligation. She looks back at the ring and sighs unhappily. C'est la vie.

* * *

_Flashback_

It's a classically rainy Sunday in Paris and she's soaked as she rushes back into her apartment.

It hadn't been raining when she jumped up from the sofa and threw her magazine on the floor; the idea clicking in her head, in her heart. She barely thought to throw her shoes on and grab her purse; an umbrella never even occurred to her.

She's still soaked when she exits the bathroom, tiny stick in one hand and her cell phone in the other, timer set. This can't be happening. This….can't be. She sits on the sofa and places both items on the table in front of her. She rolls the idea around in her head. They're so young. They have school. They want to explore the world. They want careers. They want to explore each other. They've spent whole nights on the phone talking about it all, making plans for it all since he left. The thing is that all of these are things that they want to do together. Isn't this just another thing they can do together? Her heart beats faster as she feels a slow, small smile form on her lips. Oh. She's not scared. Somehow she doesn't think Dan will be either. It's not ideal, but that's ok.

Her phone timer goes off. She gasps in surprise. That was faster than she anticipated. She takes a steadying breath and closes her eyes. She opens them and reaches for the stick quickly before she can dwell on everything too much. She gasps again and the stick falls from her hand. "Oh." She's pregnant. She and Dan are having a baby. Holy shit. Now she's scared.

She's twenty years old! What is she going to do with a baby? Oh. Oh my God. She stands and starts pacing the room. She needs to relax. Freaking out is probably not good for the baby. Oh God. She's already thinking about the health of the baby. Oh God. She needs to calm down. She reaches for her phone to call Dan. He's her center. He'll make her feel better. He'll be calm and cool about this. She's about to connect the call when she yelps and throws the phone on the sofa. She can't call Dan! She can't tell him they're having a baby over the phone while she's on a different continent. She can't drop this bomb on him like that. She's not supposed to be home until September. She does the math quickly in her head. Regardless of when the baby was conceived, it'll be too late to make decisions.

Decisions.

She stops pacing and her hands move instinctively to her stomach. She thinks she's already made her decision. Dan, though. Dan should be involved. It's her body and she knows he'd feel that way too, but she doesn't want to force him into anything. They did this together. They can decide this together. She's already decided though. She wants this baby. It was conceived in love and she wants it. She thinks Dan will too. He loved Milo and that one wasn't even his. He'll love their baby. Oh God. They're so young. They, well, she has the financial means to take care of a baby and not struggle. Dan has all of the important means though. He'll be a great father. He was to Georgina's spawn. She knows he'll be so amazing with theirs. He's honorable and good and loving and smart. Her heart flutters and something foreign, but enchanting, rushes through her at the thought of him with their child. But oh my God. It's a _baby_. An actual baby. Her phone rings and jars her out of her manic thoughts.

She rushes to the sofa and picks it up. It's Dan. She bites her lip and debates what she should do. It's not a debate. She answers the call. "Hi." She says shakily.

"Hey, you!" Dan calls out happily, obliviously.

"Hi—Hi." She says again awkwardly and twirls a piece of her hair anxiously.

"Are you ok?" He asks on a light laugh.

"I'm—I'm ok. Yes. I'm ok." She sits down and exhales. She feels relieved already. "I—I'm soaked. I had to—I went out to get something and I'm—I'm all wet." She's relieved, but she's still in a daze; she's still shocked.

He groans. "Blair, you cannot say things like that when you're an ocean away." She laughs lightly. They'll be ok. She leans back against the sofa and runs her hand over her stomach. He sighs. "I can't talk long right now, but I was thinking about you and I don't know….I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you, Waldorf." She smiles and blinks back tears.

"I miss you too." She says softly.

"Hmmm….Ok. I have to go." He chuckles. "I really don't want to though."

"I don't want you to either." She closes her eyes and she has to force herself not to spit it out. She needs to get off the phone. "I need to change and shower so I'll help you out, as always, Humphrey." He laughs and her heart warms. "I love you, Dan."

"I love you too. So much, Blair." She wipes a happy tear away and bites her lip. "I'll call you later tonight and we can talk longer, ok?"

"Ok. Bye." She hangs up and goes to take a shower.

She crawls into bed afterwards, phone beside her, so she hears his call later. She's still in a happy, surprised, terrified bubble as she drifts off. A baby. _Oh._

**These are the french translations, btw:**

**I love you.**

**I love you more than anything in the world.**

**I am absolutely head over heels for you. (I really question this one lol.)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: It seems I have some explaining to do! I am so sorry for confusing and/or worrying some of you. That was not my intention. I know writing whiplash hurts and I apologize about that. I think this chapter pretty much clears up the confusion. I'll do a rundown at the end just so everything is clear. I do want to warn everyone that it's going to get a little bit worse before it gets better. That being said, I am obviously a Dair fan so I'm not going to write anything that compromises them or that I have no interest in reading/writing. This angst is all about them and they are all about each other. I've got some fun stuff planned ahead, you just have to trust me and embrace the angst for now! Good, fluffy things will come eventually! Thank you all for the reviews, faves, and follows! I do appreciate them all! This is formatted like the last chapter and the next one will be like this as well. Also, I'm bringing Beatrice into this in a big way. I always liked her, for the most part, and she just kind of fit for my purposes. There's a few weeks time jump here and everyone's back in NY! **

Blair knocks on Dan's door and enters slowly. It's a habit that would hurt too much to break. She drops the bag on the floor and Dan comes out of his office quickly. He looks so good it breaks her heart all over again. His hair is already longer and it's so messy and curly. She does hope that hair skips a generation….or several generations.

"Blair, what are you doing here?" He approaches her cautiously and snaps her out of her thoughts. The slight hope that's radiating off of him still makes her take a step back though.

"It's September." She shrugs and plays with her fingers. "My internship ended and school starts soon. I had to come back." He's staring at her like he's trying to figure her out and he might. She clears her throat. "I have a wedding to plan too. I thought about getting married in Monaco, but it just didn't feel right. I want to get married here so I should be here to plan that." She should have just gotten married in Monaco. It was too much of a sacrifice though and it truly felt wrong. She had to come back for the baby anyway. She wanted to be with doctors she was comfortable with and she wanted Dorota and she wanted her friends and she wanted her family. And she does need to tell Dan about the baby. She knows she should do it in person, but not yet.

Also she felt a pull.

New York was calling her home.

"Right." He exhales and takes a seat on one of the barstools. He rests his head in his hand for a moment before he looks back at her sadly. "I actually meant what are you doing _here_?" He looks away from her and runs a hand along the counter. "You answered the real question though so whatever." He shrugs. Oh. She looks away from him. He hurt her, but it's still a sad scene to watch.

"I hadn't realized that you'd been at my house enough to amass such a collection of plaid and paperbacks there, but you did." She smiles softly and gestures toward the bag on the floor. He doesn't say anything or look at her. She swallows hard. This was such a bad idea. She had to get his stuff away from her though. As soon as she walked into her room, they were all she could see or think about. She couldn't have the constant reminder of him and them. Her hand brushes over her stomach and she looks down for a moment. She realizes now how silly that idea was. "Anyway, I thought you might want to have your things back." She turns to leave when his voice stops her.

"My things aren't what I want back, Blair." His voice is so clear and confident that it makes her turn back to look at him. He's sitting up in his chair now and he meets her eyes without hesitation.

She should have let Dorota return his stuff. She's in over her head. She felt a pull though. It wasn't New York that was calling her home. She had to see him. It's probably the baby's fault. She sniffs and sets her shoulder. "I can't give you anything else."

He narrows his eyes at her and rises from the chair. "I'm not getting the full story. I know it." He moves closer to her. The full story. Her eyes flit away from his.

* * *

_Flashback_

There's a handsome, dashing prince on her Parisian veranda, proposing marriage to her as the sun sets in the background. It's every girl's dream. It's her dream. Well, it _was_ her dream. Now the only thing she dreams about is a scruffy, sarcastic writer from Brooklyn. Dreams don't come true though. Not hers. Unless she doesn't want them anymore, of course.

She smiles warmly at Louis. "You know you didn't have to put on the whole show for me." She grabs his hands and pulls him to his feet. "We both know what this is and isn't." She holds her hand out and motions for him to place the ring on her finger.

"I know that, Blair, but I thought you deserved a proper, romantic proposal. I thought you might like it." He smiles as he slides the ring into place. It's heavy. The weight of it all makes her want to sink to the floor and never come back up. She takes a deep breath.

"You doing this for me, for us, is more than enough, Louis." She places her hands on his shoulders and leans in to kiss his cheek. "Thank you." She says emotionally.

"Well, I do have my own selfish reasons." Does he ever. It turns out Louis is gay and is worried about coming out to his family and the public. She thinks it's the wrong decision for him and he should be honest, but who is she to judge. If he wants to help her, then she'll accept it. He had been pursuing her so relentlessly because he thought she'd be the perfect cover for him. An ambitious American socialite and a European prince. It's a classic tale. He always thought he could help her while she helped him. It turned out he was more right about that than he could have ever anticipated. "Besides all of the details of this arrangement, I do look forward to being a step-father. I think it will be a delight. We'll have fun together."

"All the same, I appreciate you and Beatrice endlessly." She walks into her living room and Beatrice sets her magazine aside. She and Beatrice became fast friends the instant they met at an event for the magazine. Louis had dragged her with him in one of his many attempts to stalk Blair. They simply get each other.

She smiles at Blair mischievously. "Do you feel better now, darling?" She pats the sofa next to her and Blair moves to sit beside her. She exhales slowly and nods. She doesn't feel better at all. "Hmmm, it is best not to lie to me."

Blair rolls her eyes. She hates how perceptive she is. "Beatrice, this is what needs to be done. If I go to Dan and tell him we're having a child together, he'll commit to me because it's the right thing to do." She looks down at her hands. "I don't want that."

"Oh, no. It is much better to be in a loveless marriage with a gay prince." Beatrice retorts. "You're both ridiculous."

Blair glares at her friend as Louis chuckles in his seat across from them. "It is as far as I'm concerned!"

"Ok, ok." Beatrice replies calmly and pours herself more wine. "I am the one who helped you with all of this, you know. I'm on your side. Do not be so defensive or secretive with me." She cuts her eyes to Blair.

"I'm sorry." Blair runs a hand over her stomach and bites her lip. "You know it's imperative that Dan thinks that I've moved on and that I'm taken. I don't want him feeling like he owes me anything because I'm pregnant. We'll raise this child together, but that's it. I don't want anything else from him." She finishes with more sadness than she likes.

"Oh, mon coeur." Beatrice leans over and kisses her head. "What did I say to you about lying to me?"

Blair pouts her lips. She only hopes the wanting and the sadness will pass.

* * *

She should feel bad, but she remembers how they ended up like this. "It doesn't feel so great, feeling like you're missing something, does it?" He flinches and she only feels a flutter of pain. "Although I guess technically I got the full story in the end." She scoffs and shakes her head as she turns toward the door again.

"Stay." She feels his hand on her shoulder and her eyes shut involuntarily. "Please. We can talk about everything." She turns around to look at him and sees tears in his eyes. "We can work this out. I know we can. We just need to talk."

"Dan, there's nothing to work out or talk about. Not anymore." She shrugs her shoulders sadly. Maybe if it was only her she could hang on and do another round of Serena Roulette, but, as it is, she just can't. They need a clean break if they're going to have a child together. The baby comes first and it deserves two parents who can be there for it without drama and confusion. He just needs to get over this. "It's too late." She can feel her eyes watering as she looks up at him sadly.

"That's not true." He moves closer to her and she backs up until her back hits the door. "I love you. I _know_ you still love me too." Her eyes fly to his. "I can see it. I can feel it." He swallows hard. "I know you're hurt and this is what you do, but it's a mistake. You're shutting me out, but for what?" He looks at her pleadingly. "Whatever it is, it isn't worth it."

"It is!" She calls out nervously. She looks around the room. "It is worth it." It's their baby. It's her pride and her feelings. God, she doesn't want to be his obligation. She couldn't take it if he was with her because he's Dan and he does the right thing, but the whole time he was dreaming about Serena, writing about Serena, loving Serena….again. No. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I'm engaged. I have other priorities now. It's too late, Dan." She finally opens the door and moves into the hallway.

He grabs the door and follows her out. "It's not too late. It's not ever going to be too late for us." She's breathless and speechless when she stops on the stairs to look at him again. Why is he fighting so hard? She has to marry Louis as soon as possible. He'll be relentless if she doesn't force his acquiescence. "I don't know what's going on or how any of this happened, but I don't care. I don't understand why you're engaged to someone else, but when you look at me like that I _know _you miss me as much as I miss you. That's all that matters to me." She darts her eyes away from him. "You had to see me as much as I want to see you. You wouldn't have brought that bag here otherwise."

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "I have to leave." She continues down the stairs. She almost walks out the door, but she stops to look up at him again. "You need to move on. Go find Serena or someone to replace her for the moment. I don't care who it is." Oh, she's going to be sick. "I only care that you understand that it's not ever going to be me again."

"Blair…" He starts to come down the stairs.

"No!" She glares at him and he flinches as he stops. He is going to get this. "I don't want this anymore." She leaves before he can see her tears flowing.

* * *

_Flashback_

They're strolling through The Louvre, arm in arm.

"Isn't this a familiar scene, Humphrey?" She smiles up at him.

"What do you mean?" He eyes her curiously.

"The two of us, happy as clams, in a fabulous museum, in one of the best cities in the world." She leans up to kiss his cheek. She hums quietly and continues looking around.

"That's the catch, Waldorf." She turns to look at him, confused. "It's one of the best cities, not the best city." She rolls her eyes and goes back to her perusal. "I don't know though, I could see us here for longer than a couple of weeks or a summer." She stops walking forcing him to stop abruptly as well. He laughs lightly and wraps his arms around her. "I'm just saying that maybe when we finish college, we can live here for a little while. Explore Europe." He shrugs and smiles softly at her.

"We won't finish college for two more years, Dan." She reminds him tentatively.

"I know, do you think you can wait that long?" He kisses her forehead and wraps his arms around her a little tighter. He's planning their future like it's absolute. She could squeal with delight. As it is, she smiles happily before kissing him full on the mouth.

"Yes." She nods and kisses him again. "You'd really want to live here together?" She beams up at him.

He looks at her like she's crazy. "Are you kidding? This is amazing. Being here with you, just us." He kisses her cheek and pulls her into a hug. "I'd live anywhere with you, Blair." She laughs and wraps her arms around him tighter. "This…." He pulls back so he can kiss her. It amazes her how his kisses spread through her. She feels them everywhere. "Is all I want. The details don't matter to me." He smiles warmly and cups her face as he kisses her more intensely this time. This is all she wants too. She knows it's all she'll ever want.

* * *

She's physically and emotionally exhausted as she steps off the elevator into her home. Seeing Dan had been a bad idea. A terrible one. She doesn't know why she thought she could handle that. She just wanted to see him so badly. She sighs and pushes the scene aside. It's over now. She misses some things about Paris, but, mostly, she's so happy to be home. She hears shouting from upstairs and she rolls her eyes. She throws her purse on the table and makes her way upstairs.

"I don't know who you think you are, _princess_, but Blair is my friend and this is my room!" Blair enters the guest room in time to see Beatrice dodging a Louboutin.

"Oh!" Beatrice gasps. "I think, as you said, I'm a _princess_!" She retrieves the shoe and throws it back at Serena. "You know you are some friend! Simpering around her boyfriend….you have no idea what you have done!"

"What? What?!" Serena looks around confused. "I have not been simpering around anyone….lately! I've been in California. Whatever went wrong with Dan and Blair has nothing to do with me. I tried to help them!" She yells out and throws the shoe at Beatrice again. "What do you care about them anyway? Dan told us that Blair's engaged to your brother." Serena calms down as she becomes even more confused.

This is not helping her exhaustion. "A catfight over moi?" She smirks as she walks further into the room. "Serena, I believe Dorota gave you explicit instructions to have your things removed from this residence by the end of business yesterday." She arches an eyebrow as she looks at Serena.

"She did…." Serena concedes. "But, Blair, none of us understand what's going on. We miss you and we care about you. I didn't move out because I want to talk to you." Serena moves closer to her. "You're my best friend. If you need to talk about stuff we can."

"All anybody wants to do is talk." Blair rolls her eyes. "There's nothing to talk about. You can go talk to Dan or—or whoever for all I care." Blair throws her hands up. "I'm drained and jetlagged. I'm going to sleep. Beatrice needs somewhere to stay so hurry up and get your things together and get out."

"Fine, Blair." Serena sighs. "You win this round." Beatrice smiles with satisfaction at Blair. She's so tired she doesn't even care that Serena's not putting up a fight. She turns to leave the room. "Dan told me some of what happened." Blair tenses and turns to glare at Serena. "I don't know what you think happened or is happening, but you couldn't be more wrong. I've changed and I wouldn't hurt you like that again." Serena looks down sadly. "More than that, Dan is….he's devastated, Blair. He knows he did something stupid and it hurt you, but he tried so hard to stop it and he didn't mean to hurt you." Serena looks at her seriously. "He loves you, B. Don't do this to him."

Blair swallows hard. "He should have thought of that before…." She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters. I don't care and I don't—I don't believe you." She darts her eyes away from Serena and moves out of the room.

She can still hear Serena and Beatrice bickering as she finishes changing. Those two are going to drive her crazy. She sighs and stops in front of her mirror. She lifts her camisole and inspects her stomach. Three months and nothing. Her breasts have gotten bigger though. It's slight but she can tell a difference. Dan never complained, quite the opposite, but she knows he'd love what's happening to her body. It's not just her breasts, everything is already getting fuller and curvier. She frowns and pushes the lost moments out of her mind.

She lays on her bed and she can't sleep. She's exhausted, but her mind is racing. She knows she's in for a battle as soon as Dan knows she's pregnant with his child. She really should consider being married before she tells him. Even marriage may not stop him though. She worries her lip and rolls to her side. She rests a hand on her stomach and looks down at it. "I know your father and he'll fight to give you a family whether it's what he really wants or not." She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "He's not going to win. Not this time. You'll be better off this way. We all will be." She groans to herself. This is a ridiculous thought pattern for a twenty year old. Marriage and babies. It's the situation she's in though. She rolls back on to her back and stares up at the ceiling. Sleep is not going to come easily tonight no matter how much she wants it.

* * *

_Flashback_

"Blair." She's vaguely aware that Dan's saying her name, but she doesn't care. She groans and rolls over on to her other side. "Blaaaaair." She feels his hand brush against her back and move her hair out of the way. She shivers when his lips press against her skin.

"Mmmm, what are you doing?" She asks sleepily.

"I'm trying to seduce you." He pushes on her shoulder so she's on her back. He dips his head and leaves a trail of wet kisses across her chest. "Is it working?" He licks her breast through her thin silk nightgown.

She moans. "Yes. You are so rude, Humphrey." She pushes him away and frowns. He chuckles and kisses her lips. "I was sleeping. Why would you do that?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry." He slides her nightgown up and she can feel him at her entrance, waiting. He teases her and slides along her center. Her head presses back and she gasps out. She feels his thumb rubbing against her clit and her eyes open to look at his. "I woke up and I really wasn't going to bother you, but I don't know, something about you…." He presses his thumb against her harder and kisses her. "I had to have you. You looked so beautiful. I—I don't know."

She can feel that she's already ready. "God, stop babbling and get on with it." She reaches her hand down and guides him inside of her. "Oh, God." She cries out when he pushes all the way in. "Oh, God." It's good, but he's going too slow. She kicks the heel of her foot against his thigh lightly. "Harder."

"Well, I won't do this again." He rolls his eyes playfully above her and lowers his head to kiss her lips. "Mmmm. You're so…." She bucks against him and he kisses her again. "God, you're so cranky in the middle of the night."

"Shut up. You love it." She smiles up at him and tugs him closer to kiss his lips again. He laughs against her mouth and she doesn't think she'll ever want sleep, or anything else, as much as she wants this.

**Ok:**

**Blair is pregnant.**

**The baby is Dan's.**

**_Inside_ is the same as it was in canon. That issue will be addressed more in the next chapter.**

**Louis and Blair's engagement is a total arrangement bc a. she's pissed and b. she doesn't want to spend her life looking over her shoulder regarding Dan and Serena. She's having a baby, guys! She doesn't want to worry about that or have a child in the middle of all of that. She thinks this is the best way to settle the whole darn thing. **

**I think those are the big things. If there's anything else let me know. **


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hi! Thank you all for your reviews, faves, and follows! I really appreciate them all. ****I'm so glad it's working for some of you, but I'm also so sorry it's not working for others.** I guess I should note quickly that if at any point anyone is unhappy with anything in this story or doesn't want to continue reading it that's totally cool! I appreciate anyone taking the time to read even one chapter and reviewing it or following/favorite-ing it. If the end of the line comes for you before the end of the line comes for me and this story then that's ok. That's not meant to be flippant or disrespectful because I do truly appreciate everything, but this story has a plan, has had a plan since before I even started writing it, and I want to stick with it. :) I also want you guys to know that I'm not doing this angst for angst's sake. It's going to be a bit of a road, but there's a point. Final note: Blair's bulimia is mentioned in this chapter and I know that can be triggering so I just wanted to give a warning. 

Blair wakes up to someone hovering over her. She removes her eyemask quickly and turns over.

"Dorota!" She sits up when she sees her maid standing at the foot of her bed. "What are you doing?"

"Tell me why you exploded your life!" Dorota crosses her arms.

"Oh God." Blair groans and falls back onto the bed.

"Tell me!" Dorota stomps her foot.

"This doesn't concern you!" She pulls the covers over her head and burrows into them. She wants everyone to leave her alone.

"It does!" Dorota yanks the covers off of her. Blair gasps out in surprise. "You replace everyone with French imposters. I tell you French Dorota not know how to handle mood swings like me." She points at herself proudly.

"What?" Blair sits up and scrunches her face. "Louis and Beatrice are not imposters, Dorota. They—They are going to be my family." She pulls her covers back over her legs. "You better get used to it. We all have to." She leans back against her headboard and she closes her eyes. She can feel Dorota staring at her still. She opens her eyes and widens them. "Just say it. You're not going to leave me alone until you do."

Dorota narrows her eyes. "This awful fast turn around. Even for you." She moves closer to where Blair's sitting. "What happen with Dan? Why you kick Miss Serena to sidewalk?"

Blair groans again and climbs out of the bed. She clearly is not going to be able to sleep in today. "Dan is a hack and Serena needs to spread her wings and fly far, far away from me and the things that I love." She makes her way into her closet.

"Oh boy." Dorota sighs and sits on Blair's bed. "Always same record with you."

"Dorota." Blair comes out of her closet and glares at her. "I have a big day today. If you could do your actual job and stop pestering me, I would appreciate it."

"I stop pester when you stop needing it." Dorota looks at her knowingly. "Sit." Dorota points at Blair's nightstand and motions for her to take a seat. "You clip everyone off. Even Mister Nate. He like turtle. Why be mean to him?"

Blair pouts and takes a seat. "I'll admit Nate is something of a casualty. And a bad reminder." She grumbles. "I just didn't want to hear excuses and apologies. They really mean nothing in the face of what happened and what's happening." She shrugs and sighs. "I—I'm going to speak with everyone though. Hiding out and being bitter is no way to live." She swallows hard and nods her head slowly. The night of rest in her own home and bed did wonders for her clarity and peace. She's having a baby. A baby that will likely be beautiful and intelligent considering its parents. Despite everything that happened during the summer, she managed to do well at Vogue Paris and Jennifer informed her that she'll be interning at Vogue this semester. She's marrying a prince for goodness sake. A modern, very modern, prince who insists she live her life and do what she wants. This will not be Princess Grace the redux. Life could really be worse. It could also be better, but this is a new day for her. She's not the same Blair that will fall on her sword and beg for any man. Not even one that she wants and misses in all the right ways and who was good for her. Not anymore. Someone else can do the falling and begging as far as she's concerned. There's something profound and beautiful about it. It's all so clear. A rushed wedding to Louis is not the answer. She is. Dan might still love her and he might view his book as a mistake, for now, but she's not going back to him. She runs a hand through her hair and smiles. "I can't get wrapped up in silliness anymore. I don't need to."

"You different." Dorota eyes her suspiciously. "You not sound like lunatic right now. Everyone said you went off shallow end but…..What are you up to?"

"Well, it's time to be a grown up, Dorota." She rises slowly and steps into the bathroom.

"You up to something. You always up to something." Blair rolls her eyes as she begins her morning routine. Dorota pokes her head into the bathroom. "When French Dorota arrive? Are you trying to hurl me off?"

"There is no French Dorota. One of you is more than enough." Blair shoves her out and closes the door.

"Oh, Miss Blair. Thank you." Dorota calls out happily.

Blair throws the door open and narrows her eyes at her. "That was not a compliment. Go get my breakfast." She closes the door. "Please." She adds sweetly and smiles at herself in the mirror.

"Different! It's like you with Dan, but you not with Dan." She can hear Dorota's musings outside of the door. She rolls her eyes and continues running her bath water. "You not hide from me for long!"

* * *

_Flashback_

"Blair bear, are you still with us?" Blair smiles up at her father as he comes to sit beside her on the sofa. She's been sitting by herself watching Dan interact with her father and Roman. They get along so well. She introduced Dan to them the second day they were here and they hit it off. She couldn't be happier. It's what she's always dreamed of…..Her father respecting the man she loves. Dan was so nervous that first night because he knew that, but he did everything he could to make a good impression. It worked. He's amazing. It's his last night here and she misses him already.

"I am." She brushes her hair over her shoulder. "I was just thinking. And letting you all bond." She turns her attention back to Dan, watching as he helps Roman with dinner.

She feels the sofa shift as he takes a seat beside her. "I'm very proud of you, Blair."

She tears her eyes away from Dan and looks at her father curiously. "What do you mean?"

"You're different." He leans over and kisses her head. "You're growing up and becoming the impressive young lady I always knew you could be."

"Oh, well…." She smiles and looks at the floor for a moment. "Thank you. I feel settled and loved. It's amazing how that makes all the difference."

"Settled and loved, huh?" Her father nudges her arm with his elbow. "Should I start accessing your wedding fund?"

Blair blushes and rolls her eyes. "No. It's much too soon for that." She smiles softly. "I only mean that I feel good about myself. Someone believes in me and supports me. It's amazing what that can inspire."

"That makes me so happy." She smiles at him, but she can tell he has something more he wants to say. She furrows her brow and he looks away from her for a moment before continuing. "I like Dan a lot. I think he's just the kind of level headed, motivated young man you need. You two are clearly head over heels too. You're a good match. He's what I've always hoped you would find."

She tilts her head and narrows her eyes. "But?"

"Well, I just want you to realize that you shouldn't place your worth in other people's view of you." He takes her hand in his. "Love yourself and the rest will come. It took me a long time, too long, to learn that. I don't want that for you."

"That's just it, Daddy." She smiles at him. "I do love myself. Thanks to Dan."

He smiles indulgently. "That's not the same thing." He stands and leans down to kiss her head. "I think you know that though. He's good for you. Anyone can see that, but you need to be good for yourself." She peers up at him, still feeling confused. He sighs. "Blair, what I want for you, what I think Dan wants for you, is for you to love yourself because of who you are, not because someone else loves you. You're going to have a tough time making anything work, regardless of how perfect it is, until you believe that you're worthy because of you. Does that make sense?" She nods slightly. She's not sure, to be honest. He chuckles. "It will." He starts to walk away and stops to look at her again. "And if it's much too soon, he has not been given that memo." Her eyes widen and she raises a hand to her chest. Marriage? It is decidedly too soon for that. He moves closer. "No, he hasn't asked for my blessing. I recognize the signs though. He has no intention of letting you go anywhere. Nor do you have any intention of letting him go anywhere." He winks at her before walking back into the kitchen with Roman and Dan. She looks in the kitchen and smiles as some of the best men she's ever known work to get along because of her. She feels a flutter in her heart and in her stomach. Maybe it's not too soon for anything.

* * *

"You seem much lighter today, Blair." Beatrice smiles at her as they make their way through the feast. She has no idea why they had to have this thing at all, but she's going along with it. She certainly doesn't mind the idea of a feast right now. "New York is good for you. It was wise of us to move all of this here."

Blair returns her smile. "Beatrice, do you love yourself?"

Beatrice chokes on her tea and looks at Blair with wide eyes. "Uh, yes. I suppose I do. Why, darling?"

Blair sighs and leads them toward the buffet table. She's starting to get hungry again. "Well, I had something of an epiphany last night. I couldn't sleep and for awhile all I could think about was Dan, but then something clicked. Something my father said to me over the summer finally made sense." Beatrice furrows her brow, confused, but Blair flushes and waves it off. "It doesn't matter, but it just made everything crystal clear."

"Are you going to share your revelations?" Beatrice smiles warmly at her.

"Do you know why I was—am—so determined to not be Dan's obligation?" She turns to face her friend.

"Oh, yes. This is easier than I thought." Beatrice says proudly. "You love him and you want him to love you. It is a simple equation."

"No." Blair crosses her arms. "Well, ok. Yes." She drops her arms. Being mature means accepting many points of view. "Beatrice, it's bigger than that."

"Oh, right." Beatrice nods confidently. "You love your baby and you don't want it to be trapped in the middle of all of the drama you silly people create. You believe that he will always be going back and forth between you and Serena and that this baby will only encourage that….somehow." She takes a triumphant bite of her pastry. "You try to trick me, but I am becoming very well versed in the complicated science of Blair Waldorf."

"Alright. That is accurate as well." She smooths down her dress. "Still not what I mean though." She looks at her friend and smiles confidently. Beatrice tosses her hands up in surrender and rolls her eyes. "I don't want to be his obligation because I am worth more than that. Don't you see? I am a promising young woman. I'm marrying a prince, you know. That alone is impressive." She sees Beatrice eyeing her with amusement and rolls her eyes. "Even if he is gay. That might even make it more impressive." She resets her shoulders and holds her head high. "What's more impressive still is that I'm going to be an expectant mother while I finish yet another successful semester at Columbia and while I intern at the premier fashion magazine of the world, at the young age of twenty. Then once I graduate college, I'll begin my long and successful career all while raising a brilliant and beautiful child and governing with a Princess Diana like warmth and charm." She closes her eyes and lets her fantasy take hold. For some reason, Dan crashes into her mind and her heart. Oh, for God's sake. She opens her eyes and shakes it off. "I'm smart, I'm gorgeous, I'm intuitive, I'm driven, I'm _impressive_." She smiles confidently. "Beatrice, I'm a catch, not an obligation. Knocked up or not." She smiles happily and inspects the offerings in front of her. Some of them look a little funny. She scrunches her nose and inspects the room instead.

"Hmmm. You would be a great princess. It is too bad…." She hears Beatrice say quietly beside her.

"What's too bad? I _am_ going to be a great princess." She says defensively.

"Oh, I understand, dear." That doesn't make any sense. Beatrice pats her arm and continues looking over the food. Sometimes the language barrier really confounds poor Beatrice.

She shrugs it off and smiles as she looks out at the crowd. She sees Dan enter across the room and her heart speeds up. Nate and Serena aren't far behind him. Her mouth falls open and she grabs Beatrice's arm. "Oh God."

"Ow, Blair." Beatrice tries to get her arm out of Blair's grasp, but Blair grips it tighter. "What is wrong with you?"

"What are they doing here?" She turns to look at her friend. "Why would he come here?" She forms her lips into a straight line. "Not that you would know." She huffs out and looks around anxiously. There must be an exit she can slip out of. She promised herself that the next time she saw Dan she would tell him about the baby. She is a mature mother to be. No time for games. Except she did not expect to see him here, so soon. She thought the next time she saw him would be on her terms.

"Oh, actually, I would know." Beatrice says coolly.

Blair snaps her head around to look at her. "What?"

Beatrice takes a bite of a pastry. "Well…." She finishes chewing and smiles. "I thought you might need a little push."

"A push?" Blair narrows her eyes. "Towards the edge of a cliff, Beatrice?" Beatrice goes to take another bite of her pastry and Blair snatches it out of her hand. "I want to tell him my way and the more times I see him without telling him the worse it's going to be. Honestly, whose side are you on?"

"You know the answer to that." Beatrice raises an eyebrow. "It's time to share all of this enlightenment." She smirks at Blair. "He's coming. This is your chance." Blair stares helplessly as her friend grabs another pastry and takes a bite out of it pointedly. She certainly can't just announce it in front of everyone.

"Blair, I know what you're doing." She rolls her eyes before she turns to look at him. She's almost positive he doesn't.

"Hello, Humphrey." Blair tilts her head and smirks. "I believe the wait staff is meeting in the kitchen." Maturity is a process. She grabs a dessert and inspects it before taking a small bite. Oh, that's good.

"Oh, Blair." Beatrice clicks her tongue against her teeth beside her. "There is no need to be so rude." Beatrice reaches around Blair and holds her hand out to Dan. "I am Beatrice. It is so lovely to meet the man who made it possible for Blair to become my family." He shakes Beatrice's hand half-heartedly.

"Gee, thanks." Dan rolls his eyes and directs his attention to Blair. "I know you're mad at me, and you should be, but this is all so crazy. Even for you."

"You're the crazy one if you think this is the way to get me to open up to you." She shakes her head and takes another bite of her pastry. Honestly, someone needs to box these up for her. They are too good.

"Blair, just listen to him. Listen to all of us. We love you." Serena starts tentatively.

She looks at her friend and smiles. "I don't need to listen." They all open their mouths to protest, but she holds a hand up. "I don't need to listen because I don't care. I'm going to let bygones be bygones. I am willing to be friends with all of you again despite….everything."

"I didn't do anything!" Serena calls out in annoyance and raises her hands up.

"Neither did I!" Nate says in mock exasperation from across the table. She rolls her eyes at him and he shrugs.

"Who is this one?" Beatrice tilts her head and eyes Nate with interest. Nate notices and flashes her a smile.

Oh no. She knows that smile. "This is Nate, my ex-boyfriend. He is a dear friend and the first guy that Serena tried to steal from me. These two have quite a lot of nerve bringing him on this mission." She cuts her eyes toward Dan and Serena.

"Oh. What a pity." Beatrice pouts. "He is pretty, but Serena….I do not think I am interested in that one's leftovers."

"Beatrice..." Serena sighs, sounding exhausted. "I thought we were past this." She raises her eyebrows at Beatrice.

"Well, a girl goes to sleep early and look what happens!" Blair turns to look at Beatrice in shock.

"Bygones, Blair." Beatrice rubs her shoulder. She picks up a pastry and holds it out in front of Blair. "Enlightenment, remember? Try this one." Mmm. That does look good.

"Oh my God. I did not come here for a circus." Dan says in frustration. "I told you guys not to come with me." She takes a bite of her pastry and watches as Dan scolds Serena and Nate. "This is about me and Blair. Everyone else needs to leave." Oh. Oh no. That one is not sweet. She closes her eyes and tries to shake it off.

"Blair, is something the matter?" She hears Beatrice ask innocently beside her. Blair whips her head around to glare at her. Too fast. She brings a hand to her mouth. She knew that wasn't sweet and she knows bitter food hasn't been agreeing with her. Blair knows a schemer when she sees one. Beatrice is trying to force her hand. The question is why.

* * *

_Flashback_

She's trying to listen to the story that Beatrice is telling her. It's so hard to focus though. They're in a café around the corner from her apartment and there's a baby sleeping in her father's arms at the table just in her line of vision. It's such a sweet scene and it makes her heart ache. Her mind races and whirs. She's so tired and nauseous and achy. It's amazing how her change in attitude has turned this pregnancy into a nightmare. She'd started out so happy and worried about being young and having so much she wants to do before having a baby, but still feeling so excited and nervous in a delicious way. She felt light and feminine and she embraced every symptom as part of the amazing process. She was bursting at the seams, waiting impatiently to tell Dan in person. She had plane tickets to New York and everything. Now, three weeks later, everything is entirely different. She's just plain nervous. She still wants the baby. She's not letting Dan take anything else from her, but knowing she'll be doing this alone is terrifying. She knows Dan will be responsible and honorable, but the thought of him and Serena possibly co-parenting her child makes her ill.

"Blair, are you ok?" Beatrice's suspicious voice cuts into her thoughts.

"What?" Blair shakes her head and adjusts her sunglasses, trying to refocus on Beatrice. "Yes, of course, why?" Beatrice reads people too well for a princess.

"Well, I haven't know you for that long, but you've been off lately. You broke up with your boyfriend, whom you couldn't stop raving about and now, out of nowhere, he is le diable, and you look ill." Beatrice purses her lips and narrows her eyes. Blair darts her eyes away. "If something is wrong you can tell me. I understand the importance of privacy." Her friend reaches across the table and squeezes her hand. It would be so nice to have someone to share everything with. Literally no one else in the world knows she's pregnant or why she's putting distance between her and Dan. Serena, Nate, and Eric have called her with almost as much frequency as Dan has. She hates them all right now. It's not right or fair to hate _all _of them, but she's allowing herself her irrational tendencies.

"Beatrice…" Blair starts emotionally. "There's a lot going on." She pauses and eyes her carefully. "You can't tell anyone about any of this. Please." She grips Beatrice's hand tight. "Everything will come out soon enough, but I just have to make sense of it all and figure it all out for myself before anyone else knows anything."

"Blair, my goodness. All of this stress…." Beatrice leans closer. "Talk to me. I'll help you in any way I can and I will be absolutely silent. I promise."

"I'm pregnant." She lets that settle as Beatrice frowns and tilts her head sympathetically. "It's ok. I could have handled that—Dan and I could have handled that. I know we're young and have so much going on and ahead of us, but it would have been ok. My family has enough money and Dan's family is so loving. It would have been ok. There-there are worse things." She starts to choke up. "Beatrice, he's in love with his ex-girlfriend, my—my best friend. He's in love with her. He always has been."

"What?" Beatrice looks at her in surprise. "How do you know this? He's called you every five seconds since you asked him for space. I don't understand."

"He wrote a book for her while we were together." Blair says quickly. "He wrote a whole book about her and about their love story while he was in the middle of our story." She purses her lips and wipes her tears. "The only thing worse than the embarrassment, is the hurt. God, it hurts so much." She shuts her eyes and shakes her head. "And I'm pregnant." She drops her head in her hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Does Dan know?" Beatrice asks hesitantly.

Blair's head pops up. "No. No one knows, except for you."

"Are you keeping it?" She asks her pointedly.

"Yes." She's honestly never thought of anything else. "It's my baby. It's—It's Dan's baby." Her voice cracks. "As mad and as hurt as I am, I want it."

"Ok." Beatrice nods slowly. "Then I'm sure you know what I'm going to say next. I would say this regardless, to be honest, Blair. You must tell him."

"I know. I was going to tell him. I had it all planned. I was going to fly home for a long weekend." She looks at her friend helplessly. "I was so excited. I started taking vitamins as soon as I found out. I made an appointment with the doctor. I was nervous, but Dan is…." She smiles sadly. "He's the best thing for me. He makes me calm and happy. I'm not stupid or naïve, I knew it was going to be hard and that it wasn't ideal, but…." She looks away for a moment. The father and his baby have left. She wipes her tears. "I'm going to tell him. I wouldn't keep Dan from his child. I need to do it in person though and I'm not flying all the way home to tell my ex-boyfriend that I'm knocked up. It can wait now." She clears her throat and scoots her chair closer to the table. "His feelings, frankly, don't matter to me anymore. He can do what he wants, but I'm having this baby."

"Blair, dear." Beatrice smiles warmly. "I am sure that if you tell Dan that you are pregnant it will change everything and—"

Blair's eyes widen. "No. No, I don't want that." She shakes her head vehemently. "I don't want him by default."

"You are so sure that he doesn't love you?" Beatrice looks at her inquisitively.

"I'm sure he loves Serena more than me. The book makes that perfectly clear." Blair says dejectedly. "Everyone loves her. She's easy to love. I didn't need a book to tell me that."

Beatrice groans and sits back in her chair. "I cannot believe you read a whole book that your boyfriend wrote about someone else. Merde!"

"Oh, I didn't read it." Beatrice shakes her head and looks at her in confusion. Blair sighs exasperatedly. "I didn't need to, Beatrice. I read the back and I know their history." She looks at her nails before looking back at her friend. "I have a delicate system at the moment. That would have been too much to bear."

"Mmmm, that is probably for the best then." Beatrice nods. Blair smiles briefly and finishes her lait fraise. She smiles to herself. She used to hate these, but she's been craving them. Her baby has a sweet tooth. Just like Dan. She rolls her eyes and pushes the glass away. She leans back and notices Beatrice still studying her. She can't help but feel that Beatrice hasn't finished her analysis of the situation.

"Well, just say it, Beatrice." Blair waves a hand.

"Oh, it is only that I care about you and I feel very much for you in this situation." Her friend smiles confidently. "I am going to help you and make sure you get everything you need and want."

"I don't need or want anything." Blair tells her absently as she watches a waitress bring out a chocolate mousse. It looks delicious. "My family has money."

"Mon cheri, that is not what I mean." Beatrice replies sweetly and follows her line of vision. "We will start with that. Mademoiselle!" She calls out and waves the waitress to their table.

* * *

Why Beatrice is throwing her under the bus will have to wait. She's going to be sick. She smiles as best she can. "If you'll all excuse me, I ….I have to speak with someone." She swallows hard. "Over there." She hurries off before anyone can stop her.

She barely makes it to the toilet in time. She's not sure how long she's been in here, but she doesn't think there's much left for her to throw up. She takes a moment to collect herself in the stall before leaving. She doesn't feel as nauseous at least. She walks out to see Nate leaning against the counter.

"Hi, Blair." He smiles warmly.

"Oh good God." She rolls her eyes and moves to wash her hands. "They actually voted you to be their representative?"

"Well, they were all arguing over who should come, Serena wanted to be the one while Dan and Beatrice wanted Dan to come, which is kind of weird considering you're marrying her brother." Nate narrows his eyes at her. She crosses her arms and glares at him. "Anyway, I decided to take charge and come after you myself."

She takes a mint out of her purse and pops it in her mouth. "I don't know why you bothered. I'm perfectly fine and I told you guys I'm moving on. We can all be friends again." She smirks at him and moves around him to leave, but he stands in front of the door.

"Not so fast." She frowns and takes a step back. "Dan is out there freaking out, probably about to bust down this door. He can't take much more." Blair furrows her brow. "We all knew you were sick when you ran off. He thinks there's something really wrong with you."

"What?" She scrunches up her face. "That is so dramatic. Why would he think that?"

"He said you were sick when he went to see you in Paris a month ago and you didn't look much better when you went to see him yesterday and now you're in here throwing up. You need to be honest with him. Are you really sick? Is that why you're pushing him away for no reason?" Nate reaches a hand out to rest on her shoulder and she swats it away.

"Nate, I'm not pushing him away for no reason! He wrote a book about Serena!" She yells out. This is unbelievable.

Nate scrunches his face up in confusion. "He wrote a book about all of us. Well except me." He huffs and crosses his arms. "I'm the one who should be upset!"

"Are you serious right now? You are an insensitive clod, Nate Archibald." She shuts her eyes and lowers her head into her hands. She takes a deep breath before she looks at him again. "It doesn't matter if I'm in the book, although I can only imagine how charming my character must be." She shakes her head. "The content is what upsets me."

"Fine, he shouldn't have written it, but he didn't want it to be published and, you know, it doesn't change how much he loves you." Nate says quietly.

"Nate! It changes everything!" She can feel her eyes starting to water. She takes a deep breath. "I have a new outlook and I am trying to be mature, but you all just won't let it be!"

"Ok, ok." Nate holds his hands up in surrender and moves away from the door. He turns her so she's facing him. "I'm not trying to upset you. Especially if you're sick." He says sadly.

She rolls her eyes and stomps her foot. "I am not sick! I'm pregnant!" Nate's mouth falls open.

"What?" She turns around quickly when she hears Dan's voice behind her. She turns to look at Nate. This was all a set up. Oh, God. She's been duped by Nate. He looks at her sadly and shuts his eyes. He should feel bad. She turns back around and squares her shoulders.

"Oh my God." Serena's hand flies over her mouth.

This is not what she intended. This is not how she wanted to tell him. They just can't leave well enough alone. She hates all of them all over again.

Dan slowly makes his way into the bathroom and he's studying her. He is upset. Well, she doesn't care. She's upset too. "You're pregnant?" He looks her over.

Her eyes slam shut and she wipes at a stray tear. "Yes." She opens her eyes and looks at him sadly. "I'm pregnant, Dan." She shrugs. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you."

He runs a hand over his mouth and shakes his head. "Does it really matter how you tell me you're having someone else's child?" He looks like he's going to be sick when he turns and nearly knocks Serena and Beatrice over in his haste to get out of the bathroom.

"Wha—What?" She looks at her friends helplessly. She feels like she's been sucker punched.

"Blair, you could have saved him a lot of time and misery. Why didn't you just tell him you and Louis are having a baby?" Nate asks quietly. "Not that it really helps him..."

"Oh…" Serena tilts her head sympathetically. "It all makes so much sense now. Why didn't you tell us? Oh, God. Do you even love Louis? Now you're stuck with him forever." Serena moves forward to pull Blair into her arms. _What? _

She moves out of Serena's arms and looks at Beatrice for help. Beatrice shrugs her shoulders. "You all are the most insane people I have ever met and there is a lot of incest in royal bloodlines." She takes a seat on a bench by the door. "You should explain this. I cannot speak crazy any longer."

"There's nothing to explain, Blair. We get it now." Serena wraps an arm around her shoulder. "Nate you should go deal with Dan." She adds quietly.

"You lackwits." She moves away from Serena again and grabs Nate's arm to stop him. They've done quite enough. She'll handle Dan. "Louis is not the father of my baby!" Blair says in exasperation.

"What?" Nate and Serena ask in confused unison.

"Dan is the father of this baby!" She yells out. "Why is that so difficult to understand?"

"Uh, because you're engaged to someone else and you clearly have not told Dan that he's about to be a baby daddy." Nate shakes his head and raises his shoulders.

"Ok. Do not ever refer to the father of my child as a 'baby daddy' and….that actually makes sense." She bites her lip. "Oh God." This is not the way to start out their mature parental partnership. He may have hurt her, but she didn't intend to hurt him like this.

Serena lowers her forehead to her hands. "Blair…."

"Don't 'Blair' me." She snatches her clutch off of the counter and moves toward the door. "I have my reasons. You should know that." She snarls as she opens the door.

"Blair, we need to talk about that actually." Serena cuts her eyes to Beatrice who nods her head encouragingly. What is going on here? Oh! It doesn't matter.

"I don't want to hear it." She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "It—it doesn't matter anyway. I don't care anymore. I have other things to worry about. Like convincing Dan that he's going to be a father." She lets the door slam behind her. This has turned into a disaster. The fact that they're having a child together doesn't change anything, but he still needs to know. Even after all of this, she doesn't want to hurt him.

* * *

_Flashback_

"You have that look, Humphrey." Blair narrows her eyes at him as he sits across from her in the tub. She moves to pick her wineglass up from the floor.

"What look, Waldorf?" He runs his hands over her wet leg and places a kiss on her ankle. He settles deeper into the tub and moves one of his hands to her other leg. He strokes it gently and smiles at her.

"Your curious look." She leans forward and extends her glass to him. He meets her in the middle and takes it from her. He kisses her lips before leaning back again.

"Hmmm, I'm always curious." He takes a long sip of the wine and smiles at her. "You know that."

"Yes. That's true." She sinks deeper into the tub and arches an eyebrow at him. "You have something specific you want to know though."

He takes a deep breath. "You've been through so much." Her eyes dart to his. She wasn't expecting such a serious topic. He takes another drink of wine and studies her. "I guess I wonder what's been the hardest."

She looks away from him for a moment. "Why do you want to know something like that, Dan?" She asks quietly.

"I love you. I want to know everything about you." He grips her calf with his free hand and runs soothing circles over it with his thumb.

She sighs. "I should probably tell you everything about me then." She moves forward and takes the wine from him. She takes a long drink.

He smiles nervously and narrows his eyes. "What?"

She sits up in the tub and he looks up at her warmly. "I have an eating disorder." She clears her throat and his hand stops moving. His face doesn't move an inch though. He's still looking at her like she's the greatest thing on earth. It gives her courage. "I'm bulimic. I haven't done anything in years, but, you know,…. Day by day." She nods her head slowly. "I'm ok now, but I think everything that lead me to that point where I felt so out of control and so insecure…..God, that was so hard and…._sad_." She shakes her head and she can feel her eyes start to water. "I feel so bad for that girl that I was….that I am. I think everything that I felt back then lead me down so many horrible paths too. Maybe I wasn't purging after a certain point, but I was still hurting myself." She finishes and they sit in silence. He never breaks eye contact with her and his thumb begins its work against her skin again.

He casts his eyes down for a moment. They're wet when they meet hers again. "You're the strongest, bravest person I know." He shrugs and moves his hands up and down her calves. "You're incredible. Everything about you." Her heart swells. He moves closer to her and she mirrors his movement to meet him in the middle again. He cups her face in his hands. He smiles softly and kisses her lips gently. "I love you."

She returns his smile. "I love you too." She kisses him before retreating to her end of the tub again. "So? What about you?" She takes a sip of wine and eyes him.

"I haven't been through half of what you've been through, Blair." He shakes his head dismissively.

"You haven't been through the same things as me, but I know your life hasn't been completely easy. Everyone has struggles. I want to know everything about you too." She sets the wine outside of the tub and looks at him as she settles back in. "You can lean on me too."

"This feels so lame after what you just said and everything else I know about you….." She strokes his leg lightly this time and smiles warmly. He sighs. "Losing Milo. Finding out he wasn't mine." He leans his head back against the tub and squints up at the ceiling. "I mean if you had asked me the day before Georgina showed up with him if I wanted a child at that point in my life I would have laughed in your face. It's like every young guy's worst nightmare, but…." He shakes his head as he reminisces. "I loved him and I felt so connected to him. I don't know that it's entirely accurate to say that I would change things and make him mine, but if something like that were to happen again and the baby was actually mine this time, if it happened to us, I'd be ok with that. I mean I didn't even love Georgina, but I loved Milo. I would have been a family with her for him and I didn't even really like her. With you…." He swallows hard and meets her eyes hesitantly. She's disappointed that he's realized that he's been rambling.

She tilts her head to the side and her lips curl up slowly. "Dan…." He sits up nervously.

He takes a deep breath and widens his eyes. "I'm not suggesting you go off of your birth control…._at all._" He bites his lip and she can see his wheels turning. "I'm just saying that there are worse things than having an accidental child in your twenties, especially with someone you care about….like finding out that child isn't yours when you want it to be so badly." He nods his head thoughtfully. "Other things can be more devastating." He tilts his head to the side and smiles sadly. "That's all I'm saying."

"I know that." She says quietly. She holds his gaze and smiles warmly. She moves to him and straddles his waist. Her hands slide up his arms to his shoulders and she rests them on his neck. She uses her thumbs to tilt his head back and she presses her lips to his. "You're the best man I know. I'm so glad I figured it out." She smiles wistfully. "You're so good." She moves one hand to cradle the side of his face and moves the other to the back of his neck. Her hand trails into his hair lightly. "I love you." She presses a kiss to his temple and rests her forehead against the side of his head. His hands trail up and down her back until they stop on her hips. His lips press against her shoulder. She moves her head so she can look in his eyes and moves her hips so that he's inside of her. His eyes close and his head falls back for a moment. She loves him and his openness so much. No one has ever been like this with her. She doesn't ever want to hurt him.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hellooo! Thank you all for everything! This is the last chapter with flashbacks to Paris. The flashbacks are in timed order this time. There's not really a reason for that other than they are lol and, jsyk, this is really long. Sorry about that! I think that's all you need to know...I hope you all enjoy it! **

Blair hurries up the stairs to Dan's loft. The door's locked when she tries to rush inside. She bends down and flips up the mat. She told him a million times to relocate his spare key. Thank God he's nearly as stubborn as she is. "Dan?" She calls out nervously when she goes inside. It's dark except for a light coming from the office. She moves back there slowly, but he's not there. It dawns on her that she probably shouldn't be in here without him. She goes back in the hallway to wait for him.

She doesn't know how long into her wait she is when she simply can't stand anymore. She had to wear a fitted white dress today didn't she? She sighs unhappily as she carefully lowers herself to the floor. It's been a long day and it's only going to get longer. She's so tired.

"Blair, wake up." She awakes with a start. Dan is kneeling beside her with his hand on her shoulder. She blinks rapidly and tries to gain her composure. "You shouldn't be sleeping out here. Jesus." He rises up and extends his hand. "You know where the key is." Something about the way he says it makes her heart fall. She can't help but wonder if he left it there for her; hoping she would come back and use it someday. She brushes off the thought. She's only here to tell him what he should know.

"I know." She places her hand in his and the feeling of his hand makes her falter. It's been so long since she's touched him. She's missed it more than she even realized. She swallows hard and rises to her feet slowly. "I went inside to see if you were home and then I thought it might be an invasion of privacy so I came back out. I would have stayed inside if I'd known how long you were going to be gone." He lets her hand drop.

He frowns. "You're pregnant. I wouldn't have cared." He says quietly as he unlocks the door. He stops before he gets inside, blocking her entrance. "What are you even doing here? I don't need or want any explanations. This explains it all." He gestures toward her stomach.

She darts her eyes away for a moment. "That's good because I don't owe you any explanations." She meets his eyes again and shrugs. "I only owe you the truth."

He narrows his eyes and turns away from her to move inside. She follows slowly behind him and shuts the door. "This is so unfair." He turns back to her suddenly. "I want to be so mad at you and I am, but I don't know what to do with it now. I'm not going to be the guy who fights with a pregnant girl."

She bristles, suddenly feeling annoyed with his attitude. She never said this was Louis' baby. He jumped to that conclusion on his own. He's the one who broke her heart. "You can be whatever you want to be. We're tough." She rests a hand on her stomach and squares her shoulders.

He groans and drops his head in his hands. "This is awful." He looks at her again with big, sad eyes. "This is…the worst. Will you please just leave? I promise I know everything I need to know."

"You don't. You rarely do." She mutters absently. Her mind is buzzing. Why is he acting like this? Why has he been acting like this since he came to see her in Paris? He wrote a book about Serena, but he's acting like his world is crashing because of her. It doesn't make any sense. "Are you a sociopath?"

"Oh, that is rich coming from you!" He laughs bitterly and moves back to the door. He holds it open wide. "I don't know who you are anymore." He shakes his head sadly before he looks down at the floor. "You need to leave. Please." She can see the sadness being replaced by anger.

She can feel her hands start to shake with her own anger and hurt. She balls them up at her sides. "You don't know who I am?" Her voice cracks. "I had the rug pulled out from under me at the worst possible time because you wrote a book about your ex-girlfriend while you were with me. Supposedly happy and in love….with me, not with her." His mouth falls open and his eyes narrow. "Why would you do that? Why would you lie to me about your feelings for her and then come all the way back to Paris to fight for me? And now you're all sulky and broody?" She wipes at her tears in frustration. "I don't get it. I don't get any of it.." She says sadly. She hates being so emotional.

"Blair." He swallows hard and moves closer to her. "The book." He takes a shallow breath. "Did you read the book?"

"No!" She cries out and he drops his head in his hands. "Why would I read your love letter—novel—to Serena?!"

"Oh my God." He bends over and rests his hands against his thighs. She can hear him trying to catch his breath.

She's starting to get worried. "What's wrong with you? Are you ok?" She moves closer and rests a hand on his shoulder. He straightens up and pulls away from her quickly.

"How could you do all of this without reading it, Blair?" His eyes are frantic and wild. He's making her nervous. What is he freaking out about?

Her heart starts to pound fast and hard against her chest. She can barely breathe. "Wha—I—I read the back of it and you were being so weird about something before we went to Paris. It all—it made sense. I just knew it was about you and Serena." He shakes his head and looks away from her as tears start to cloud his eyes. What's going on? What's the big deal? "Dan." She shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I couldn't read a book that you wrote about the two of you. It would have killed me. Knowing it exists is more than enough." She finishes softly and studies him nervously. He looks like he's about to have a mental break. "What's wrong with you? Why would you even ask me that anyway?" He doesn't say anything; he just stares at her. It annoys her. He's freaking out about something that doesn't even matter. "Who cares if I didn't read your stupid book?"

"I care!" He says loudly and looks at her with wide eyes. "I'm sorry." He shuts his eyes and tilts his head to the side. His eyes are so desperate and sad when they land on hers again. "I care, Blair. You have no idea what you've done."

"What I've—What I've done?" She looks at him helplessly as tears roll down her cheeks. Oh God. "What are you talking about?"

"Every word of that book is about you." His lip quivers when he finishes speaking. No. No. That doesn't make sense.

"No." She shakes her head. "No. I read the quote from the publisher. I—" She takes a deep breath. "You weren't telling me something. You—you love Serena more. Everyone does." She's trying to work this out. It doesn't make sense.

"Oh, Blair." His head falls back for a moment. "I don't." He looks back at her and shrugs his shoulders sadly.

"You do!" She cries and stomps her foot. "You do. Why are you lying? You're lying. You have to be lying." She paces the floor. Her thoughts are flying and her heart is racing. She's starting to feel light headed. She makes her way to a chair in the living room. She did all of this over something he wrote about _her_? She looks at him sadly. "You wrote a whole book…."

"About you." He steps back and leans against the door. His eyes close.

"Oh!" She gasps out. She feels like the wind has been knocked out of her. She leans forward and rests her arms on her knees. She buries her face in her hands. She can't look at him. She can't look at anything. "Oh God. I was in love with you…." She couldn't take it. She thought it was about Serena. She thought…A sob moves through her body.

"I was in love with you too." He says quietly and she feels his hands wrap around her wrists. He moves her hands away from her face. Her eyes move over his face sadly as he kneels before her. "Hiding hasn't helped anything, Blair." He slowly rises to his feet and sits on the sofa. She doesn't know what to do or say. Nothing makes any sense. He watches her for a moment before he speaks again. "You didn't think you should come talk to me about any of this? You just break up with me, with like no explanation and then start dating Louis?" He looks at her with barely suppressed anger. "Now you're pregnant and engaged…. Jesus. I'm so in love with you." He looks at her helplessly. "It was a mistake. A misunderstanding….that you caused and now I'm paying the price." She closes her eyes and takes a breath. She wants to leave, but he still doesn't know everything. "I don't know what I'm going to do." He says absently.

"Dan, there are some things that you should know." She says in a daze.

He narrows his eyes and shakes his head. "No, you're right. You've been right all along. It doesn't even matter." He runs a hand over his jaw. She opens her mouth, but he's already off and rambling before she can even make a sound. "I don't know how else I could have convinced you that I loved you, that I didn't want anyone else. I didn't even _think_ of wanting anyone else. I did everything I could and it still wasn't enough. It doesn't even matter that you didn't read the book. It doesn't even matter." He looks at her and shrugs. "This would have happened anyway. You could never just let her go no matter what I did or said. And now look—" He chokes on his words. He clears his throat and looks away from her. "Clearly your fantasy life is more important than anyone else's reality, including your own. It's for the best that this happened now." He nods and furrows his brow, looking back at her. "Every day, even when we were apart, I was falling more and more in love with you." He says quietly. "I know where this was leading for me and I'm just glad it didn't get there if you were never going to trust me. Thank God it happened now. Before it's too late…." He drops his head in his hands. "Fuck. I can't believe this."

Her mouth is hanging open. She guesses she deserved all of that, but it doesn't make it sting any less. She feels sick. She absently moves a hand to her stomach and looks at the door. "It's already too late." She looks back at him. This has to be the worst way to tell someone something like this.

"Too late for us? I agree." He says snidely and leans back against the sofa. She opens her mouth again, but he keeps going again. "I—Blair—This was a misunderstanding and now you're _pregnant with his baby_? Why couldn't you just talk to me?" He asks, his frustration no longer at bay. He leans on his knees. "I mean….what am I supposed to do now? I'm in love with you. I wanted you….I wanted this with you someday. I wanted everything with you." He says sadly. She closes her eyes and rests her forehead against her hand. She'll just have to endure this. It's only fair and it's some awful kind of karma. If she'd just let him explain at some point instead of always steamrolling him and supplying her own script for him….. It's too late for that, but she's not leaving until he knows he's the father of her baby. "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" He asks coldly.

Her head snaps up and her lips form into a straight line. She's not used to him being like this with her. She shakes her head. "No. I just don't feel well." She says quietly. This can't be happening. How does this situation keep getting worse?

"Then leave!" He gestures toward the door. "I don't know why you're still here. We're finished! You've made that clear on every level."

"We're not finished." She wipes at her tears. He reels back, ready to protest. Good God. She is getting this out. "This is your baby." She says quickly. His mouth falls open and he stares at her in disbelief. She shrugs helplessly. "You're stuck with me forever. I'm sorry." She jumps up and runs to the bathroom. She can't keep it in any longer.

She's vaguely aware that he's entered the bathroom as she's gripping the toilet bowl desperately with one hand, her other hand holding her hair back. She feels him behind her and he gently removes her hand from her hair. He holds her hair back and brushes some pieces away from her face. Oh God. He rubs her back as she gets sick again. What has she done? She backs away from the toilet and slumps back against the wall. She still feels nauseous, but nothing's coming out anymore. She closes her eyes and tries to catch her breath. He closes the lid and flushes it for her. She can hear him shuffling around the bathroom. "Are you ready to get up?" She opens her eyes slowly and sees he's looking down at her. She nods and goes to brace herself on the toilet, but he takes her hand and grips her other arm with his other hand. He studies her when she's standing again. "I knew something was different about you." He mumbles as he brushes her hair off of her shoulder. He clears his throat and breaks the moment. He reaches beside him and hands her a cup of mouthwash. "I'll—uh—I'll give you a minute." He rubs the back of his head and leaves the room in a daze.

He's looking out the window when she comes out a few minutes later. She clears her throat and he turns to look at her. "Thank you for….that." She waves her hand behind her.

He shakes his head. "I guess you don't really have to thank me." He exhales slowly. "It's my baby too." He runs a hand over his mouth nervously. They've never been like this around each other. It hurts her heart. "That's been going on for a while? The morning sickness?" She can hear the concern slip through his question.

"Yeah. It's been fairly regular." She smiles faintly and shrugs. She doesn't think that had anything to do with the pregnancy. "And the cliché is true: it's morning, noon, and night sickness."

"Are you ok?" He shoves his hands in his pockets. He seems like such a little boy right now that it makes her want to cry. He's acting like she knew he would and she's never hated herself or her insecurities more. This isn't about her though. Apparently, she's made some mistakes and she does owe him explanations. She brushes that aside for now.

She places a hand on her stomach and smiles. "Yeah. We're—We're both ok." She sees warmth and hurt pass through his eyes and she has to look away. "I've been told it's normal and all of my blood work is good. I've had an ultrasound." She looks back at him nervously. "Everything's good."

He nods dazedly. "Good. Good. That's good." He stares at her for a long moment before he seems to wake up. "I need to sit down." He moves to the couch slowly and takes a seat. He runs a hand over his mouth and looks straight ahead. She takes a seat in the chair farthest away from him to wait him out. He looks back at her. "How far along are you? It's been since Paris….June."

"Three months this week. The doctor confirmed it, but I knew before I even went in. The baby's due in March." She swallows hard. "I think I made a mistake with my pills in the time change or something." She looks at the floor guiltily. "I don't know though…. Maybe it was just meant to be. No birth control is fool proof." She sets her mouth in a straight line.

"Three months this week." He nods and she sees the smallest of smiles on his features; he doesn't seem too concerned about the other details. She wants to cry. "Paris…." He says reverently. She smiles back and tears sting her eyes.

* * *

_Flashback_

They stumble down the quiet street leading to her apartment. More accurately, Dan stumbles and causes Blair to stumble because he has an arm wrapped around her shoulder and his other one across her stomach, gripping her waist and pressing her tight against his side. She's holding his hand draped over her shoulder and her other hand rests against his back. He whispers dirty, pretty thoughts into her ear as they move slowly down the street. He's a little drunk off of the wine. He's flirting with her relentlessly. She's a little drunk off of him and the night and the city and his dirty, pretty thoughts. She's glowing. She can feel it. He trips up the steps and nearly makes them both fall. He laughs against her as he steadies them.

"Humphrey!" She moves out of his reach when they make it to the doorstep. She pushes him back lightly when he tries to move to her. "Get it together." She smirks as he smiles and moves into her space again. She's hopeless.

"I love it when you're sassy." He wraps his arms around her and kisses her messily. She can't help but give into him and wrap her arms around his neck. She leans into his kiss and sighs happily. She breaks away to unlock the door and he won't leave her alone. His hands brush her hair to the side and his lips move over her neck. Her head rolls back and the keys slip from her hands before she even gets the door open. He laughs against her skin. "Oops." He presses one more kiss against her neck before he drops to his knees to get the keys. She hears the keys in his hands. She opens her hand for him to drop them in, but he's distracted and isn't paying attention to her hand. His eyes are trained on her legs. He makes a thoughtful noise to himself before he lifts her loose dress slightly and presses a long kiss to her thigh.

She gasps and grabs his head. "Not out here, Dan." He moves his eyes to hers and smirks. He stands slowly and unlocks the door. He turns his head to look back at her as he grabs her hand and pulls her inside after him. He presses her against the wall and his lips move over hers hungrily. She moans and buries a hand in his hair as she uses her other hand to press him closer to her. He stops to move her underwear down her legs quickly. He moves back to her and studies her intently. He lifts one of her legs and wraps it around his waist. His hand slides slowly along her thigh. He presses his hips against hers and kisses her hard. She feels a welcome breeze and she realizes the door is still open. She moans against him and pulls her head back. He moves to capture her lips again, but she presses her hand against his chest. "The door is open." He makes a frustrated sound and moves to shut the door. He stares at her pointedly after doing so. She smiles and leans her head against the wall. She can't catch her breath and the way he's looking at her isn't helping. He smirks and moves purposefully back to her. She makes a surprised noise against his mouth as he lifts her and presses her back against the wall. His hands slide under her thighs toward her butt and she kisses him harder. She slides a hand down his stomach and pushes him away slightly so she can undo his pants. They don't even get them off before he's entering her and her head is slamming back against the wall. She loves Paris.

* * *

He clears his throat and furrows his brow, breaking their reverie. "Three months? So you're keeping it? Well, I guess you pretty much answered that already. You said I was stuck with you forever…" He trails off.

"I never had any other thought, Dan." She keeps her eyes on his. "Even when I got the book and…well." She takes a deep breath. "I—I feel awful now. I never would have made this decision without you had I known. I thought you wouldn't care because of Serena. I want this baby and if I had to do it alone that was ok."

He shakes his head and looks down. "I wouldn't tell you what to do with your body either way. Whatever you want is fine." Fine. She feels panic in her veins. Now she's made this huge decision for him and it may not be what he wants. "I'm happy this is what you chose, Blair." She moves her eyes to his. He still knows exactly what she needs. "I know we're a mess, but this is what I want too. It'll be ok."

She chokes back a sob and moves quickly to sit next to him on the couch. "Dan, you have to know that I wanted us to make this decision together. I didn't intend for it to be unilateral. I was hurt and confused." She can see and feel him getting upset again. "I know that's my fault…" She shakes her head. "I had a plane ticket." She takes his hand in hers. "I had a plane ticket for home. I was coming to tell you in person and then I got the book." She purses her lips. "I got the book and I put together a whole story in my mind that I thought made sense. I don't know. I can't even process everything right now. I just know that I had only found out I was pregnant the week before and I was so excited to tell you." She smiles at him. "I mean I was nervous too. I was so nervous. God, I still am. This is so much so fast. We weren't even together that long and we're young, but, mostly, I was so excited. I knew you'd be you and it'd be crazy and amazing and it would work. Then I got the book and I wanted to die." She's rambling. She closes her eyes and takes a breath. She looks back at him. "It hurt so much to think that all that time you wanted Serena. I was livid and devastated. And if you wanted Serena I didn't want to be an obligation. I don't want to be an obligation period." She says quietly. "You always wanted to be careful and I always thought we were, but I was wrong. I felt like it was my fault and you would feel like you had to do the right thing. I didn't want that for any of us." He removes his hand from hers and slides away from her on the couch. That's never happened before. It hurts.

"I don't think we should talk about some things until I can process it all myself. We have to raise a child together. I don't want to say anything I'll regret." Her mouth falls open and she looks away. She ruined everything. He takes a deep breath before he speaks again. "I do think you should know that I never would think of you or a baby that we created _together_ as an obligation." He furrows his brow and shakes his head. "I'm not an asshole. This is my fault as much as it is yours." He cringes. "Fault was a poor word choice. I only said it because you did…" He sighs tiredly. "I feel like I'm walking on egg shells with you….that's new." He runs his hands over his face. "Just—You should know that I'm in this because I want to be not because I feel like I have to be. I don't want you to feel guilty about the baby. If you're excited, be excited. Enjoy it."

"I am excited." She says softly. His eyes dart to hers and study her closely. "I know that's ridiculous. I'm twenty years old, but I don't know…I don't think this is going to stop me from doing anything I want to do and even if it did, I already feel like it might be worth it. That's probably naïve and crazy though." She shakes her head dismissively.

"I don't think it is." He says absently. "I'm a little shocked. I mean this summer has been a nightmare and today was hell, but…." He laughs lightly and she looks at him in confusion. "It's just in a weird way everything that happened and that I thought had happened makes me appreciate it even more. I'm so pissed off—not about the baby, about everything else—but I know what it felt like when I thought the baby was Louis'." He shrugs a shoulder. "I'll take this every time."

She exhales slowly. He knows and he's ok. The major issue is handled. There are still so many questions though. She made a mistake. She misjudged him and he's hurt. She thought she was being strong and independent, but she was just being insecure. It's her default setting. She has so much more work to do on herself than she even realized. Dan can't fix her. Her eyes slide over to him cautiously and he looks so sad and confused. She's nearly broken him because she's still a little broken herself. That's not ok. Hindsight is 20/20. She sees it all perfectly. He was absolutely in love with her and she and her warped logic trampled all over everything.

* * *

_Flashback_

She's recovering on the sofa. Dan opened the windows for her. She thought she was going to pass out, but now there's a perfect breeze cooling her off. She sees him come out of the bathroom and walk into their bedroom. He's abandoned all of his clothes except for his boxers and she'd be perfectly content to enjoy the show all night. "Blair….where's Blair?" She laughs listening to his confusion.

"I'm right where you left me, baby." She calls out softly. He comes out of the room with a lazy smile on his face. He leans against the wall, watching her. She'll never recover at this rate. "Come here." She opens her arms and he comes to her. He fits himself against her and rests his head on her chest. She lowers her head to press a kiss to his head. Her fingers work through his hair slowly. She can hear his breathing slow down. She loves him like this. He's forever thinking and moving and trying to take care of her. She loves him like that too, but when they're both at ease like this is when she feels like this is the most right thing she's ever experienced. She feels like she provides as much peace for him as he does for her. She loves that. He shifts against her and it awakens something within her again; so much for rest and peace. She can't get enough of him. She doesn't know what she'll do when he leaves in a couple of days. She sighs and runs her hand down his neck. She lets her fingers continue down his back lightly. She trails her foot up his leg. His head rises and he looks at her foot running along his leg.

He turns his head to smile at her devilishly. "Are you trying to take advantage of me right now?" He slides her dress strap off of her shoulder and kisses her exposed breast.

"As if I'd have to try…" She bites her lip and slides further down on the couch. She peers up at him and runs her hands over his back.

His smile loses its playfulness and becomes soft and warm, her favorite. "That's true." He says quietly. His eyes lock with hers and he kisses her. It's deep and slow and a little sloppy, but it's amazing. Her hands spread over his back greedily, pressing him into her as they move over his skin.

She doesn't know how long it's been when she needs more. She whimpers and breaks away from him. "Dan…" He looks down at her and kisses her again before he moves to his knees.

His hands run under her dress and up her thighs. "This dress has been in my way _all night_." She laughs against his lips when he leans down to kiss her as she rises up to meet him.

"Then do something about it." She murmurs between kisses. He pulls her upright with him and undoes the zipper. She falls back against the sofa and sighs as he slides the dress down her body. He tosses it over the sofa hastily and his boxers meet the same fate.

He moves over her carefully and kisses her. His hand slides between them and strokes her gently. She starts to get restless and lifts her hips. She wants more. He moans and withdraws his hand. He enters her slowly and carefully. He pauses when he's half way in and rests his forehead against hers. He takes a deep breath. "I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you now, Blair." She furrows her brow and her hands cup his face. He's drunk, but it still melts her heart. "I don't ever want to find out." He kisses her cheek and slides all the way in. They both moan as they let the feeling wash over them. Her back arches and she still can't get close enough to him.

"Dan." She grabs his face and brings him back to her lips. He moans against her lips and moves his hips against her hips. He breaks away from her mouth and watches her intently. He shifts so he can slide a hand to her breast and massage it gently. All of the sensations are stirring her. Her eyes flutter closed and her breathing catches.

"No." He brushes the hair that's starting to get damp and stick to her skin away from her face and kisses her forehead. "Don't do that. Stay with me. Open your eyes." He kisses her again. "I love you. I want to show you." The weight of his words causes her eyes to open wide. "Yes, yes, yes. That's better." He moves against her faster and his hand leaves her breast. He rests it against her cheek. She gasps and leans into the touch. "Open your eyes."

She laughs despite the gravity of the moment. "You're so drunk….they're open." She says quietly.

"That's not what I mean. Open your eyes. Really open them." God help her. Every word is nonsense, but she understands it. "I love you. Open your eyes." His lips slide against hers.

"Dan…" She moans out and presses closer to him. She moves her hands to his face and holds him so she can focus her eyes on his. "I love you." She kisses him. "I love you." She locks her eyes on his and she sees fear quickly replacing affection. She strokes his face and kisses his forehead gently. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." He leans down to kiss her again. "I just—I love you so much. I—I don't…." He swallows hard as he looks down at her. "I don't know how to make you see that."

"Hey, it's ok." She kisses him lightly. He hits a spot and she almost loses it. "Oh, Dan. Oh." She shuts her eyes for a moment to focus. She can't go yet. She opens them slowly. "I see it. I do. I feel it." She kisses him deeply.

He breaks away. "Will you always though? No matter what?" His eyes dance over her face.

"I—I don't know." She answers honestly. There's no point in lying to him or to herself. "I hope so." God, she hopes she doesn't get in her own way. This is right. Everything about it.

"That's ok." He kisses her gently. "I'll always feel it and I'll always show you. I'll never let you forget." He kisses her harder this time and his strokes are haphazard, but so effective. She's losing it.

"No matter what?" She grips his shoulder hard and searches his eyes.

"No matter what." He tells her without hesitation. She sighs feeling something like relief wash over her. They'll never get too far from each other. She knows that to be true. She finally lets herself get lost.

* * *

"Where do we go from here?" She asks meekly. She wishes they could be together now, but she's made such a mess. She never really stopped wanting to be with him, she was hurt and thought she was being strong and brave.

He jumps slightly and turns to look at her. "I'm in love with you." He locks his eyes on hers. "I think we both know that isn't enough though."

"I'm in love with you too, but I know. I know." She wipes at her tears. A sad, strangled laugh comes from her. He furrows his brow. "I had an epiphany last night." She shakes her head and smiles at him sadly. "I woke up so proud of myself this morning. You wanted me and I wanted you, but I wasn't giving in because I deserved more." She brings her hand to her mouth. "The truth is I never deserved you. I woke up in love with myself for the first time in years and, now, I've never hated myself more." She looks at him sadly. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"Blair…." He sighs. "You deserve the world. You're amazing. I mean your logic and reasoning could use a little work…. As much as the break up and Louis hurt, nothing breaks my heart more than when you talk like this. This is why we've ended up here." He shakes his head. "You've got to get a handle on this. You're about to have a child. They need you to be strong and happy and confident. Not for a week because everything is going well and not as some kind of façade for the rest of the world. It has to be real this time. You have to figure this out." She nods slowly. "I think it's best if we focus on being friends and having a baby together." He looks at her nervously and swallows hard. He must be expecting a fight. Blair Waldorf fights for what she wants.

"You're right." She reaches her hand over and takes his hand. "I love our baby, Dan. Already." She nods confidently. She can do this. She loves Dan and their baby. If this is what they need then she'll be good. "I want it to have two parents that are there and can have a positive relationship." She smiles at him. "I messed up. I have to live with those consequences." She wipes at a tear as it makes its way down her cheek.

"God, we were so close…." He's giving her a look she's never seen before.

"What?" She asks softly.

"It kills me how close we were to everything." He takes a deep breath. "You say things like that and it drives it home. I don't know what happened." He shakes his head sadly. "Why didn't you talk to me?" He locks his eyes on hers. He wants an answer this time.

Her breath catches. "I—I don't know." She says helplessly. "I guess I'll be asking myself that for the rest of my life."

"You know. You had a reason." He tells her calmly.

She shrugs. "Not anything other than what I've already told you. I thought I knew everything I needed to know. I didn't want to hear you profess your love for her or your denials or say that you made a mistake. Every option sounded horrible." Her voice cracks.

"You said you already knew you were pregnant when you got the book…." She nods and furrows her brow, curious as to where he's headed with this. "Blair, even if we weren't enough to compel you to come to me about this, a baby should have been." She looks away from him. The guilt feels like it's going to consume her. "I don't know how to get over that." He says quietly and she can feel her bottom lip begin to quiver.

She rises to her feet quickly. "I made a mistake that affects both of us and I'm sorry, but I can't take you judging me right now." She grabs her clutch and moves toward the door. She stops when she gets there. "It's not that I don't think you have every right to be upset. You do. I just wish you could understand my perspective the way I understand yours. If you could just try….I think it might make more sense to you."

"It's way too soon for that." He looks at her sadly.

"You know, I'm not the only one who didn't communicate here." She crosses her arms and sniffles. "You didn't tell me you wrote a book about me that was going to be published. I knew you were hiding something and you knew that I knew that. You still said nothing. I've worn my insecurities about Serena like an accessory since I've known you." She takes a breath. "Why didn't you tell me about the book?"

"I was terrified of losing you after I'd just found you. After we'd found each other." He looks at the floor and swallows hard. "I didn't want to be another person who hurt you. I thought I could stop it, but when I couldn't I was going to tell you. I was." He shakes his head. "I don't know who sent it to you or why, but I wasn't expecting it. Obviously." He locks his eyes on hers again. "I didn't want to lose you."

She nods her understanding. "Well I thought I'd already lost you. That's why I didn't talk to you." She says quietly, pointedly. "That's not even true. I thought I never had you." He brings a hand to his mouth and nods slowly.

"This all happened because we both cared too much." He laughs bitterly. "I don't know if I can take that much irony."

God, now she's hurting him again. She takes a deep breath and moves back to sit beside him. "Dan, I hurt you and I'm so sorry. I'll never forgive myself, but I think you have to try. We're having a baby. It's unfair to ask this of you, but we have to work through this." He turns his big, sad eyes to her. She reaches for his hand. "I'll give you whatever you need or want. If you need space right now, I can give you that. If you want to be friends again, I can give you that. Whatever it takes, no matter what, I'll do it." She smiles at him. She pulls his hand closer to her and hesitates for a moment. She looks at him and his eyes are focused on her. She places his hand on her stomach and rests hers over it. "We're having a baby. That's bigger than us." He moves closer to her and exhales slowly. "I'm sorry." She finishes quietly.

"Have you felt anything yet?" He lets his eyes drift to her stomach briefly.

"No. Not really." She smiles to herself as she watches him. There's nothing much to feel, but he's already in awe. Her fingers curl around his.

"I think we've had enough space." Her heart beats wildly. What is he saying? "We—we can be friends." He nods hesitantly and moves his eyes back to hers. Her heart drops. It was a stupid thought anyway. That'd be asking way too much of him. He gives her a small smile. She can see that it's a little hard for him to give it to her. "I'll be here for you. Whatever you need." She returns his smile. If that's what he can give her, she can accept it. It's more than enough. She hopes. She's made promises—to him and, though she'd drop him in an instant now, to Louis—that she needs to keep. It's her turn to show him that she loves him by giving him what he's asking for. She can't even believe the mess she's made. It's unbelievable. She starts to feel overwhelmed.

She squeezes his hand. "I should go." He withdraws his hand quickly and nods. She stands and moves toward the door again. "My driver probably thinks I forgot to tell him I'm staying the night." She says awkwardly.

"Thank you for waiting for me to come home tonight." He says quietly.

Her breath hitches. "I couldn't let you think someone else was the father, regardless of what I thought you did." She purses her lips and shakes her head. "I knew what that must have been doing to you. It may not seem like it sometimes, but I do remember every conversation we've ever had." She lets the moment settle over them before she speaks again. "I'll leave the ball in your court, Humphrey. I've done more than enough." She doesn't want to force him into a friendship he may or may not be ready for considering all the damage she's done. She opens the door and smiles back at him sadly. "You know where to find me." Tears cloud her eyes as she makes her way down the stairs. She climbs into her car waiting for her down the street and she can't stop the sobs as her driver moves them out of Brooklyn.

* * *

_Flashback_

She wakes up the next morning feeling rested and happy. She reaches her arm out for Dan, wanting to curl against him, but he's not there. Her eyes flutter open and she looks around the room. She pouts her lips and rises from the bed. She puts her robe on as she moves softly through the apartment. "Humphrey?" She calls out quietly as she makes her way into the kitchen. There's no answer. She hears his laughter coming from the balcony. She smiles and hurries toward the sound. Her heart nearly bursts out of her chest when she sees him sitting in a chair, coffee cup in one hand and book in the other, smiling to himself. She moves closer and takes the items from his hands. She sets them on the table and bends down to kiss him. "Mmmmm….." She takes his face between her hands as her lips move against his forcefully. He laughs into her mouth and his hands find their way to her butt.

He breaks away dazedly. "Well, good morning to you too." He smiles up at her and she presses her lips against his again. She squeals out happily when he pushes her into his lap. His arms wrap around her and he kisses the side of her head. She curls against him and sighs happily. This is all she wanted.

She turns to glare at him playfully. "I do not appreciate being abandoned in bed, Humphrey." His smile widens as his eyes study her. She kisses his lips quickly, shyly.

"If this is how you intend to express your frustration from now on then I make no promises about attempting to rectify the situation." He tightens an arm around her waist and moves the other one to explore her thigh.

"That's an interesting point." She nods thoughtfully. She presses a slow, lingering kiss to his lips. She pulls away slightly and keeps her eyes on his as she presses several gentle kisses to his lips. "I think you might also want to consider the greeting you would have gotten if I'd found you where I wanted you." A devilish smile spreads over her face and she nips at his bottom lip playfully. His breath hitches and his hand grips her thigh. He leans in to kiss her but she turns her head. He laughs into her hair and she smiles to herself. She loves playing with him. She also loves how much he loves to play too. No one else can spar with her on every level like he can.

He runs a hand through her hair gently as she looks out over the city. "I want to say something, but I don't want to spook you." He tells her quietly.

She turns to smile brightly at him. "Say it, chicken." She laughs lightly and kisses him quickly.

"You are so encouraging." He smiles and rolls his eyes. His eyes are serious when they focus on her again. "I think I could do this forever." She swallows hard and her eyes search his. He slides his hand up her thigh. He kisses her and moves his hand from her thigh to her neck. He slips it down over the skin of her chest and slides it inside her robe. He squeezes her breast and she gasps against his mouth.

"Which part?" She asks breathlessly.

"All of it. The friendship, the flirting, the sex, the love, the debating….." He kisses her again. "I like being in love with you." His hand moves to stroke her waist. He pulls his head back to look into her eyes. His hand presses her closer to him and moves over skin delicately. "Are you spooked?"

"No." She adjusts herself in his lap so her chest is pressed against his. Her hand cups the side his face and her lips find his. "Just turned on." She sighs into his mouth.

"I guess I should be glad we at least made it to the Louvre." He laughs against her lips.

"I'm sorry." She stops kissing him and narrows her eyes. "It must be horribly inconvenient to have a girlfriend who wants you all the time." She brushes her lips over his teasingly.

"No." He groans when he tries to capture her lips, but she pulls back just enough so that he can't reach them. She can't keep up her own game and she crashes her lips against his. "I think we're really going to have to move here if I ever want to see any of the sites. You're absolutely insatiable here."

"Still sounds like you're complaining, Humphrey….." She kisses him and slides her fingertips over his cheeks.

"I've been so bad this morning." He stops kissing her and peers up at her. He moves his hands through the hair hanging in her face as she looks down at him. She bites her lip, waiting for his next move. He adjusts his hips under her and her eyes flutter closed. "I'm just going to have to spend the afternoon making it right." He sighs with mock resignation and kisses her deeply. She makes a happy sound against his mouth. He stops kissing her and stands quickly with her in his arms. She squeals out again as he quickly carries her to the bedroom. He drops her onto the bed and crawls over her. Her eyes widen with delight and anticipation as he hovers over her.

"New rule: whoever messes up has to do whatever it takes to make it right." She says playfully and wraps her legs around him.

He laughs distractedly as he busies himself with untying her robe with one hand. "Isn't that a given in relationships?" He moans when he gets it undone and spreads it open. His mouth presses hot, open mouth kisses against her chest. She cries out and tries to get his boxers off with her feet.

"Oh, I don't know….is it?" She gasps as his lips make their way to her breasts. He stops his work and looks at her intently.

"Yes. It is." He kisses her lips sweetly before he makes his way down her body.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hi, all! Thank you all so, so much for your reviews, faves, and follows! I'm so sorry for the delay. Life has gotten crazier than I even anticipated. My updates may not be as frequent as they once were for a little while, but I will be working on and updating both fics as often as I can. Anyway, I get into some medical stuff here and I am not a doctor haha I apologize in advance for any glaring errors or mistakes! A possible Dan chapter was mentioned and that's definitely something I've thought about. I think if I did it, I'd want it to be a special chapter? I don't know. It's a thought so don't be surprised if it happens one of these chapters. Also, don't be surprised if it doesn't though lol. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this one!**

Blair is walking home from class when she sees _Inside _on display in a book store. She stops in front of the store and moves closer to the window to look at it. Dan's name still isn't on it. She wonders why that is. There's no need to be anonymous anymore. She'd ask him, but they haven't spoken since last week. The ball's in his court and he seems intent on not touching it. It's been a long week. She's been tired and crankier than usual. The nausea rarely seems to subside. Pregnancy is not agreeing with her. This is the first day she's been out of bed since she and Dan talked and that's only because she was at risk of being dropped from her classes if she didn't go today. She hurled a whole tray of food at Serena and Beatrice when they came into her room all happy and sunny, trying to get her to go shopping with them. She's not in the mood. She knows she has to get over it all and move on, but it's so hard. She hurt Dan so much that he doesn't want to be with her anymore, and given his lack of contact, he doesn't even really want to be friends with her. The worst part is that it's all her fault. It's nearly impossible to live with.

"Blair?" She turns her head quickly and sees Nate approaching her, sweet smile in place. "What are you doing creeping outside of bookstores?"

She gives him a small smile and shrugs. "Just thinking." She looks back at the book display in the window. There's a sign with positive reviews and best-seller lists information about Dan's book. It makes her smile. She should hate the thing, but it's her fault that they've ended up like this, not a book's. It was never about a book.

"Have you read it yet?" Nate asks quietly.

"No." She sighs and shakes her head. "I—I hadn't worked up the courage."

"I thought Dan said you guys cleared everything up about the book?" She turns to look at him and finds the familiar confusion in his eyes. She missed him this summer.

"We did." She nods her head. "I just meant—It's a difficult situation I've put myself in, Nate." She looks around the street. "I know it's about me, but that almost makes it harder to read. I've made such a mess and over what? A book he wrote all about me?" She laughs dejectedly and throws her hand up. "I want to read it, but I really think it will hurt worse than thinking it was about Serena." She feels her eyes tear up.

"I'm sorry, Blair." He reaches a hand out and squeezes her shoulder.

"Pregnancy." She shakes her head and wipes away a tear. Nate smiles and tugs her to his side. She stays there for a moment, grateful for the compassion. She clears her throat and moves away. "So, you've spoken to Dan?" She asks softly. He nods his head and narrows his eyes. "How is he?" She fidgets and darts her eyes to the ground nervously.

Nate sighs loudly and her eyes fly back to his. "He's….He's had better days." The words hurt like she knew they would. She closes her eyes. "Hey, he's also had worse." Nate offers tentatively.

"Nate!" She looks at him in disbelief. "It doesn't help if I'm the one who caused those worse days."

"Oh, good point." She rolls her eyes. "Look, all I'm saying is that you guys have talked now, and while he still isn't exactly the happiest guy in New York, he is better. I think it's helped him to have some sort of closure." He shrugs and her heart squeezes in her chest. Closure. That's a scary word. "As much closure as you can have with a girl you're still crazy about and who also happens to be pregnant with your child." He gives her a warm, knowing smile.

She blushes and flips her hair over her shoulder. Her eyes cut to Dan's book. "Why isn't his name on it yet?" She looks back at him curiously.

"Oh, I don't know. I don't think he really cares." Her mouth falls open slightly and her hand moves to her stomach. He doesn't care? He wrote a critically adored best seller and he doesn't care? "It kind of ruined his life."

She looks back at Nate and frowns. "No, that was me."

Nate nods his head slowly. "That's true. You did have a hand in that." She swats him with her purse. "Hey, we have an open and honest relationship, Blair. We're adults." He frowns and rubs his arm.

"That's debatable." She quips absently. She pauses thoughtfully. "I hate that I took everything from him." She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. "He loved me and I destroyed him." She has to do better, be better than this.

"He _loves_ you. Keep that in mind." He nudges her shoulder. "And I think you should also keep in mind that as difficult as this book is for you to read and accept, it's gotta be at least as hard for him to be proud of it. If you come around, maybe he will too." She can't bear to look at him. He might be right, but she's not sure she's ready. She looks at the ground and nods her head. "He—I don't know—I'm not sure he's destroyed. Not anymore anyway."

She looks back at Nate curiously. "Why are you encouraging me? Dan made it clear we're finished, romantically, and I can't say I blame him."

"I'm a hopeless romantic." He shrugs. "Read it, Blair. I think that's a good starting point for both of you." She looks at him and smiles as best she can. "I'm serious. Go in there and buy it. Take it home and read it. Relax. You look tired, which is odd considering Serena told me you've spent this past week in bed." He finishes playfully.

"I'm pregnant, Nate!" She looks at him with wide eyes. "It's exhausting sharing your body with another person." She grumbles.

"Yeah, it is." Nate says suggestively and winks at her. She groans and looks away. "Seriously, go crawl in bed and read it. Get all comfortable and take care of my god child." He smiles broadly.

She scoffs. "I'm not planning on letting you even _hold_ my baby, Archibald." She rests her hand over her stomach protectively and smiles with faux sweetness.

He laughs and rolls his eyes. "We'll see." He kisses her cheek and leaves. "Read the damn book! You'll feel better!" He calls over his shoulder. She bites her lip and bounces nervously. She goes into the bookstore before she changes her mind.

* * *

She's in a daze. She has been since she finished his book a few days ago. Her mother is hosting a Yom Kippur festivity and she's been forced into attendance. She's feeling better physically, but she can't think clearly anymore and she can't sleep. She tosses and turns at night, haunted by Dan's love and words and her own mistakes. His book is good. It's so good. And it's about her. It's so clear. She cried tears of joy and tears of regret as she read some of his words.

"Blair, you never listen." Beatrice complains beside her. Blair snaps out of her reverie and looks over at her friend. She's not wrong. She's always lost in her own thoughts and world these days. "Did you hear anything I said to you? Louis is going to come a few days later than he anticipated originally, he had some stuff come up, but he will be here soon to see you."

"Oh." Blair nods her head. "Right, ok." She had forgotten he was coming. "Good." She smiles.

Beatrice rolls her eyes. "You should work on your happy face."

"Beatrice…." Blair moans. "I am happy he's coming. Louis is—lovely. I'm just—"

Beatrice holds up a hand. "I know. I know everything you are. Tired, emotional, hungry, nauseous, etcetera." Beatrice waves her hand dismissively. "I do not care if you are happy about Louis' arrival or not. I know what would really make you happy afterall." She eyes Blair pointedly. "I am only saying this to you for the sake of appearances. If you still insist on marrying my brother, you must be prepared to perform always. Both of you." Blair sighs in annoyance and moves away from her. She's not in the mood tonight.

"Oh, Blair!" She cringes when she hears her mother calling her. She hasn't told her she's pregnant so she's been trying to avoid her. While her mother was eventually delighted she was marrying a prince, she was, and still is, extremely skeptical. She's always eyeing her like she knows Blair still loves Dan. If she told her she was pregnant with Dan's baby, she'd never leave her alone.

"Yes, mother?" Blair turns around, defenses up even though she knows her mother isn't going to question her tonight.

"Blair, dear, you have to go talk to Cyrus' old codger of an uncle." Eleanor tells her quietly. "It can't be left to me to entertain him all night." Eleanor says exasperatedly.

Talk to someone who has couldn't care less about her love life? "Of course." Blair smiles sweetly. Eleanor's eyes narrow. Blair's never been one to jump at the chance to converse with her elders unless there's something in it for her. "I'll just go—"

"Blair, we need to talk." Damnit. She whirls around to glare at Serena. She was so close.

"Later, S." Blair says through a forced smile. "My family needs me right now." She starts to walk toward the living room when her mother grabs her arm.

"You're up to something." Blair pouts her lips. "Talk to your friend." Eleanor walks away but stops and turns to smile at her. "By the way, you look lovely, tonight, Blair. You're filling that dress out quite nicely."

Blair blushes and wrings her hands together behind her back. "Oh, wedded bliss and what not." She says happily. Serena snorts beside her. Eleanor looks at the two of them and shakes her head as she walks away. Blair slaps Serena's arm. "Are you trying to get me busted?"

"Are you serious?" Serena crosses her arms. "You're pregnant. That's not something you can hide for much longer, B."

"I'm hiding it for as long as I can, ok?" It's not just her mother. It's Louis' mother and family, it's the press, it's everything. She adjusts her dress. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

Serena looks at her nervously. "Not out here." She gestures toward the empty study.

"Alright, spill." Blair says as they sit on the sofa.

"I—I just had a fight with Dan." Serena says guiltily.

"Why are you telling me this?" Blair looks at her, puzzled.

"It was about his book." Serena takes a deep breath before she continues. "My boss would love to have the movie rights. She's obsessed with it and I accidentally let it slip that I know who wrote it. Now she won't leave me alone and so I went to Dan to try to get him to come forward….That was a bad idea." Serena says forlornly. "He was so upset and ranting about how he hates the book and he wishes it would just disappear. B—"

"I think you can guess where I come down on this one." Blair interrupts her. "Leave Dan alone. He's been through enough."

"Trust me, I know that." Serena says defensively. "Nate and I were the ones here with him this summer." Blair looks away guiltily as Serena waits a beat before continuing. "I think he should reap the benefits though. A movie deal could get him even more money and acclaim. He could almost write his own ticket after that, Blair."

"I agree with you, but I'm on Dan's side." Blair says quietly. "If he's upset just leave it alone."

"Think of everything this could do for him! This is his dream and he's letting it slip away. He's not even enjoying it!" Serena argues.

"I know!" Blair yells back at her. "I don't know why you're telling me this!" She takes a deep breath to calm down. "I can't do anything about it now. I don't have a time machine to change the past and he certainly isn't going to take my advice at this particular moment in time." She looks at her friend sadly. "This is the way things are now, back to the beginning. We both know Dan can be judgmental, perhaps most with himself. If he feels there's something wrong about this book or something wrong in the way it all went down, then he'll never be ok with profiting off of that."

"It's just—It's not fair. It's not his fault." Serena closes her eyes in frustration and shakes her head.

"I know. It's my fault." Blair says mostly to herself. "I don't know what I could do at this point. The damage is done."

"I didn't mean that it was your fault, Blair." Serena looks back at her.

Blair furrows her brow. "What do you mean?"

"There are some things that came out while we were fighting that I think I should be the one to tell you about. We need to clear the air on this _Inside _thing once and for all." Serena nods her head and purses her lips. Blair tilts her head to the side curiously. "I'm the one who caused all of this." She runs her hands on her thighs nervously. "I sent you the book."

"What?" Blair asks in quiet surprise. Her eyes are wide as they focus on Serena's face.

"I kept hearing there was a hot new book coming out about New York's young generation of elites. I was curious, but, more than that, I wanted to get my hands on it first because I also kept hearing how good it was. Every studio wanted it." She eyes Blair nervously. "I did what I do best and got what I wanted. I read it and I knew exactly who wrote it and who he wrote it about." Serena shrugs her shoulders. "I thought you'd love it and would be over the moon that someone loved you that much. I—I thought you should know." Serena smiles warmly.

"Oh." Blair looks away. Serena reaches for her hand and Blair looks back at her.

"You're the star of Dan's book, Blair." Serena says quietly. "I had no idea you would ever think anything else. I mean if you read it, it's so obvious. He doesn't even try to hide the way he feels about you. It's so honest and open. Except for the whole anonymous thing." Blair laughs lightly and Serena squeezes her hand. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, S." Blair squeezes her hand back. "I'm not mad at you. You were trying to be a good friend and I misconstrued that too." She shakes her head. "This is my fault. I have to take responsibility and learn from it otherwise I'll just keep doing the same things over and over again."

"Wow." Serena smiles. "I was expecting a battle."

"This is the new and improved Blair Waldorf." Blair smiles faintly. "Well, right now, it's the under construction Blair Waldorf, but I am trying to be wiser and more secure."

"It shows, B." Serena hugs her. "And you're not the only one who's under construction." She smiles warmly and hugs Serena tight. Serena pulls back and hesitates for a moment. "In the spirit of being wise and secure, I really think you need to read the book, Blair. There are things I don't think you even know." Serena shakes her head. "He went to your essay contest in high school. He supported you when you guys weren't even close to being friends." Serena takes a deep breath. "It—It's always been there."

Blair's blown away by Serena's sacrifice. "It shows with you too, S." Serena rolls her eyes playfully and shrugs. "I read his book." Blair looks at her hands and nods. "I was so scared to because of everything I did. I thought it would hurt so much to read that …..I was right." Her voice shakes. Serena runs a hand over her back soothingly. "It's haunting me, to be honest. Ultimately, though, it's kind of amazing to realize how much he loved me." She smiles warmly. "Especially since we're having a baby together. I don't know. I guess in the end it makes me happy."

Serena's eyes narrow. "Why are you still marrying Louis?" She asks quietly.

"Serena…" Blair sighs and rises from the sofa. She stands in front of her friend. "Dan wants to be friends and I really think that's only because we're having a baby. We have to have some kind of relationship. I'm trying to respect his wishes."

"He still loves you though." Serena stands too. "As long as there's love there's hope." Blair rolls her eyes. "I won't even mention your little baby on the way." Serena gushes happily and puts her hand on Blair's stomach. Blair laughs affectionately. "You laugh, but it's true. There's still so much there."

"There is and there isn't, Serena." Blair steps away from her. "Dan explicitly said he wants to be friends. That's what we'll be."

"Since when do you let other people decide your life?" Serena crosses her arms and smiles mischievously.

"Since now." Blair says pointedly. "I love him. If this is what he needs from me then this is what I'm going to give him. God, Serena, he's so mad he hasn't even contacted me to ask about the baby. Can you imagine? He must really hate me right now." Blair shuts her eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. She didn't mean to go on a tirade about that subject. "I'm playing by his rules this time and you should too. That's all I'm saying."

Serena takes a step closer to her. "I've talked to him, B. This isn't—"

"Serena!" Blair can't take anymore. Serena blanches and takes a step back. "Please stop." She wipes at the tears running down her cheeks. "I made a mistake and I'm paying for it. Dan doesn't want to be with me anymore. This isn't a game where I can keep trying things to get him back or manipulate him. There is no scheme here. We're having a child. I can't—I can't do anything to jeopardize what's left of us." She rests a hand on her stomach. "As much as I want to fight for him, I can't."

"Ok, ok." Serena holds her hands up in surrender before she moves forward and embraces Blair. "I'm sorry. I know this is hard on you."

"It doesn't matter." She sniffles and breaks away from her. "This isn't about me." Serena looks at her sadly. Blair exhales slowly and runs her fingers under her eyes. "I'm drained. I'm always drained. I need to go rest."

Serena nods and gives her a small smile. "Of course. You have to take care of yourself and my god baby."

Blair laughs despite her weariness. "You and Nate just have this all planned out."

Serena rolls her eyes good naturedly. "Nate is trying to ride my coattails on this one." Serena smiles sweetly. "I think I've earned a god parent position."

"You have." Blair kisses her cheek. "You've been a good friend even though I know you were hurting because of us."

Serena waves her hand to dismiss the thought. "Dan and I have been over for a long time. I knew that. It's just hard to let go of the past sometimes." Serena says wistfully then looks at Blair nervously. "I have though. Let go of the past."

"I know." Blair smiles. "Hopefully, I can do the same."

Serena studies her for a moment. "I don't know if I should tell you this, but Dan was a jackass today so I don't really care what he wants." Blair furrows her brow. "I've been giving Dan updates on you and the baby. He calls me all the time or texts me. He has all of these books already." Serena smiles and bites her lip. "He's excited and in love."

Blair can feel her heart beat a little faster and her spirits lift. "He's been asking about the baby?" She moves a hand over her stomach.

"And you. He was so worried when you wouldn't leave your bed. It was kind of ridiculous. I was giving him hourly updates." Serena laughs lightly. "He cares. That's why he's staying away. It's not because he's mad."

"I don't know how true that is." Blair bites her lip and brushes the thought aside. "Regardless of his reasons, I'm listening to what he tells me for once." She leaves the room and, thankfully, makes it to her bedroom unnoticed by her mother and her guests.

* * *

She's at her nightstand studying an ultrasound picture of her baby a few days later. The picture's from a month ago and she's studied it endlessly, but she could stare at it all day. According to her research, the baby should be much bigger now. She smiles happily and places the picture inside the book in front of her. It's a copy of one she's been using to chart her baby's progress. She bought it for Dan on a whim. She's had it for days, but still hasn't worked up the courage to call him or stop by to give it to him. She places it back in the gift box and is about to close the lid when Dorota comes rushing into her room.

"Miss Blair, you have to go. Fashion show start soon!" Blair tries to shut the box before Dorota can see its contents. She can't take anymore pity from anyone. "What's that?"

Blair glares at her and rises to her feet. "None of your concern, Dorota."

"You not leave until I get whole scoop." Dorota moves in front of the door.

Blair rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "It's a book for Dan. It's a baby book that I've been using." She admits quietly. "I—I thought it would be good if we were using the same book. I'd like that anyway." Her voice cracks.

"Oh, Miss Blair." Dorota moves toward her and wraps an arm around her.

"I just want to feel like we're doing this together." She sniffles. "I know I said I didn't care and I'd do it all alone, but I want him to do it all with me. I was hoping that if I gave that to him then it might give me some kind of peace. If we're using the same book then we're almost doing it together, you know?" She looks back at Dorota with wide, watery eyes.

"I know. I know." Dorota says soothingly and Blair turns so she's hugging her.

"Only I'm too scared to contact him." Blair whispers as she rests her head on Dorota's shoulder. "I don't want to upset him. I mean I don't think he'd be upset, but I don't want to annoy him or push him."

"I doubt Mister Dan feel that way." Dorota squeezes Blair tight before she pulls back to look at her. "Take it today. You never know when opportunity falls."

Blair bites her lip. "Well, I do have another appointment today. I—I put an ultrasound picture in there. I could put in one from today too. That'd be a good reason to see him." She tries to convince herself.

"Yes, perfect." Dorota hands the box to her and guides her out of her bedroom. "Hot iron is time to hit." Blair's already too tired to explain the correct expression to Dorota.

* * *

She's walking off the stage at the Jenny Packham show with Simon Doonan when Dan appears in front of them. It's the last thing she expected.

"Blair, we need to talk." He says gently. She feels nervous suddenly. Why is here? With his giftbox that she left at home for a reason? She chickened out on her way to the elevator and left the box behind. "Do you mind?" He looks at Simon. He has no idea how important he is so of course he thinks it's acceptable to just shoo him off. Brooklyn strikes again.

"Not at all." Simon responds breezily as he walks away. She throws her hand up. Traitor.

"Well, I mind." Dan reaches for her elbow and her fight instincts kick in. She tries to move it out of his reach, but his hand wraps around it. He said he wanted to be friends and then he disappeared. It's fine if he doesn't want to be friends with her, but he didn't have to lie to her. He's probably only here to tell her he'll hate her forever in person. "Humphreys are not escort material."

He rolls his eyes and drops his hand from her elbow. "Let's try to change that stereotype considering you're pregnant with one." She frowns. Damn. That's a good point. She shouldn't be so defensive with him anyway, but she's worried about why he's here. He hasn't spoken to her in a week and now here he is in front of her at a Jenny Packham fashion show. Her eyes drift to the box in his hands. "I went by your house to check on you and Dorota gave me this. She said you needed it today." Her eyes dart to his. He watches her carefully. "I—I've been getting updates from Serena. We had a fight though, and she cut me off so I went by to check on you." He admits quietly.

"I know. Serena told me everything." She arches an eyebrow. "Were you actually looking for me or were you just looking for information about me?"

"Both." He runs a hand through his hair. "This is so complicated and, to be honest with you, I don't know how to navigate it."

She nods her head slowly and frowns. "That's ok, Dan. I know I made mistakes and I hurt you." She looks at him. "It's ok if you don't want to be friends, but just tell me."

"The way you told me you were breaking up with me and why you were breaking up with me?" He bites out and his eyes darken.

"Ok." She squares her shoulders. This isn't going to help anything. "Well, if you wanted to find me to argue then you can keep looking." She reaches for the box in his hands and he moves it out of her reach. She looks at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry." He sighs. "I don't know what to do. I miss you and I love you and I'm so mad at you that I can't think straight sometimes and I'm worried about you and the baby. I don't know what to do with all of that." He looks down at the box.

"You don't have to do anything." His eyes move to hers quickly. He's studying her, looking for answers she doesn't have either. She was in his position not that long ago and she couldn't be around him. He's in an unfair position. She doesn't know what to do for him. She brushes a piece of hair from her face nervously. His eyes follow the movement and his eyes flash.

"Are you still engaged to Louis?" He tilts his head to the side and takes a step closer to her.

"Yes." She replies with fake confidence.

"You're still marrying him?" He asks again, slower this time.

"Yes." She answers again, more hesitantly. "I care about him and—"

"I can't believe this." He shakes his head and paces her floor. She's surprised by his outburst. "After everything? After the other night?" He looks at her with wide eyes.

"The other night?" She looks at him in confusion. "You told me we should focus on friendship and our baby. Not romance. And then apparently communication from Brooklyn became impossible."

"I—I didn't think you'd still marry him. You said you love me." He stares at her and moves into her space again. "What are you doing? Does he know that you love me? That the baby is mine?"

"Of course he knows that the baby is yours!" She reels back. "We've never even slept together." His eyes widen. She rolls her eyes. "There's more to relationships than sex. You know that. We were more than sex." She rests a hand on her stomach defensively.

He tilts his head to the side. "I know that. I also know how important sex is to you." His eyes narrow. "You're up to something. If you're doing this to make me jealous, it's not going to work. I don't work that way."

Her mouth falls open. She throws her clutch at him. "You asshole!" He moves to the side quickly to dodge it. He gives her an exasperated look. "I am being mature and selfless—"

"Oh! Is that what that was?" He looks at her incredulously and points to her clutch on the floor.

She sets her mouth and ignores him. She moves to pick up her clutch but he beats her to it and holds it out for her. She snatches it out of his hands. "You said you want friendship from me and that is what I am trying to give you. I'm not forcing you into anything or expecting anything from you or—or manipulating you." He's still looking at her like he doesn't believe her. "Well, I'm not going to be a spinster, Dan!"

"You're not even sleeping with him! How is that any different than a spinster?" He asks snidely.

"For one thing, I'll be a princess. Louis and I have a relationship that is unique and complex." She says haughtily. Actually, it's very cliché and simple, but he doesn't need to know that. "I care about him and I made him a promise." She tells him honestly. If she can't have Dan, who cares anyway? "Why do you care so much?" She asks in annoyance.

"I can't just turn my feelings off for you. Especially now." He shrugs and gestures toward her stomach. "I didn't—I didn't know you hadn't slept together." He mutters.

"Oh, I'm sorry I left out such vital information for you." She narrows her eyes. "So if you'd known that you would have wanted to be with me?" She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. "I had no idea I was having a child with a caveman."

"No." He closes his eyes for a moment. "That came out wrong. I meant that I thought it was serious, _more_ serious. Christ, you're marrying him!" He holds his hands out in front of him and her eyes move to the box. She has to get that from him. Now is not the time for the book and the ultrasound picture. "I thought you loved him and that was why you were marrying him or to get back at me for things I never did…." He looks at her sadly. "If you love me, why are you marrying him?"

"I have my reasons!" She yells out. She notices people are staring at them and she takes a moment to collect herself before she continues. "You made a choice, Dan. That's ok, but I don't know why you care if your choice is to be my friend. Who cares what I do?"

"You made every other choice for me!" He looks at her helplessly. "This is all I had left."

Every other choice….the baby. "Oh my God." She brings a hand to her mouth. Her eyes start to water.

He cringes and moves forward quickly. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Who can tell what you mean anymore?" She shrugs and wipes at her eyes quickly. She reaches for the box, but he moves it away from her.

"I'm sorry. Don't leave like this. We have to work through all of this mess." She glares at him and reaches for it again. She caught him off guard so she makes contact and she tugs on it but he tugs back causing the box to fall to the floor. The book falls out when the box hits the ground, the ultrasound picture of their baby not landing far from it. "Blair…." He says quietly as he picks up the picture. He looks up at her. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter." She shakes her head and hurries to her dressing room before he can follow her.

* * *

He's waiting for her outside when she exits the building. "Blair, I meant everything but the baby. The break-up, Louis….You know that. You know this is the decision I would have wanted you to make. I never would have tried to influence you and I would have supported you and loved you no matter what, but this is what I want." She stops to look at him. Her emotions are all over the place and he does a have a right to be upset with her about the things he mentioned. He runs a hand over his face. "I did make a choice. One choice that may or may not be right, but I'm sticking by it. So if you're marrying Louis then…..whatever." He closes his eyes and shakes his head. His eyes are big and sad when he looks at her again. "I'm just—You're not going to like move to France with our baby are you? I want to be there for yo—I want to be involved. I want to be an actual father." He casts his eyes down. "I lost you. I don't want to lose the baby too."

She moves to him and wraps her arms around him. She's hurt him so much, too much. "You haven't lost me. We're—friends." The word makes her want to throw up. "If that's what you want." She squeezes him tighter. "Dan, I'd never take this baby from you. Never. You're the father. You're who I want to be the father of my baby, in every sense of the word." He sighs into her hair and holds her tight. She pulls back slightly to look at him. "If marrying Louis worries you so much, I won't do it." Her eyes search his. They're so close and it'd be so easy for her to lean in….

"No. No." He takes a deep breath and backs out of her arms. "We're not together. You should marry him." He swallows hard. "Be a princess. It's what you've always wanted." He smiles and looks away from her. He's wrong. What she's always wanted is a family. What she wants now is to be a family with him and their baby. Her hand moves to her stomach as she gets lost in her thoughts. "So is this stuff for me?" He interrupts her daydream and holds the box out in front of him. He moves to a nearby bench to sit down. He tilts his head to get her to go to the bench too.

She smiles faintly as she sits beside him. "Yes." Her eyes move to his. "I'm sure you have your own book, but I've been using this one. I thought maybe you could use it too. So we'd be on the same page and all. No pun intended." She finishes awkwardly. God, she's been rambling so much lately. He smiles softly. "And this…." She takes the box from him and finds the ultrasound picture on top of the book. She holds it up so he can see it too. "This is our baby." She says quietly and turns to watch him. His smile widens ever so slightly and he turns to look at her too. "This is about a month old so it's bigger now."

"The size of a lemon." He says absently as he carefully takes the picture so he can see it better.

"Yeah." She smiles. "I have an appointment in about an hour." She starts nervously. "You can come if you want." She bites her lip as she watches him.

He moves his eyes back to hers and smiles. "Ok." He looks at her thoughtfully. "I don't want to miss anything else, Blair."

Her heart breaks. She doesn't know if she'll ever get over all of the guilt she feels. "You won't." She slides her hand into his. "I'll make sure of it. I promise." She'll do whatever she has to do to make it right between them. She owes him at least that much.

* * *

She's jittery and excited as she lays on the table in her doctor's office. Dan is sitting across from her. She can tell he's nervous, but she doesn't say anything.

"Good afternoon, Blair." The doctor walks in and smiles at her. "How are you doing today?"

"Good." She smiles warmly.

"Good, good." She flicks through her chart quickly. "I remember we were worried about the nausea last time. It was debilitating sometimes." The doctor pulls up a stool and sits beside her. "How's that going?"

"Debilitating?" Dan chimes in and startles the doctor.

"Oh, you brought your fiancé today." She cringes when she sees Dan flinch. The doctor rolls toward Dan and extends her hand. "It's so nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Keen."

"Dan." He smiles and shakes her hand. "I'm not her fiancé. I'm the father."

"Uh, ok." The doctor looks between them and smiles before her eyes settle on Dan again. "So you have concerns about the nausea?"

"Well, yeah. I mean she told me it was all normal. You're concerned about it though? Is she ok?" Blair licks her lips as she watches Dan become all protective right before her eyes.

"It is normal. Nausea and vomiting and general fatigue are all normal parts of pregnancy in the first trimester." Dr. Keen says nurturingly. "We want to make sure that it all stays that way. Blair had a lot of vomiting and nausea for a long stretch. We thought about some medications, but she decided to tough it out and it seems she has. I'm just following up." She turns back to Blair. "So?"

"It's still there, but it's not nearly as bad as it was even a week ago. I'm feeling a lot better." Blair smiles at Dan before turning back to the doctor.

"Excellent. That's what I was hoping to hear." She rises from the stool and moves to take her blood pressure. "Any other symptoms I need to know about?"

"Oh, no. I'm just tired and cranky and nauseous. Same as always." She shrugs and adjusts on the table.

"Ok. I think we'll see the nausea really decrease even more now that you've moved into the second trimester." That's a relief. She could do a happy dance right now. The doctor looks at her blood pressure. "I like what I'm seeing with your blood pressure. Much better than last time." Blair nods as the doctor starts setting up the machine for the heartbeat. Blair looks over at Dan who looks lost and nervous. She smiles when she catches his eye, but he darts his eyes away quickly. She turns her attention back to the doctor. "How's your energy level?"

"It's about the same. I'm still so tired all of the time. I think I could sleep all day, every day." She says on a light laugh.

"That's not like her." Dan says and gets up from his chair to stand beside her. She peers up at him and bites her lip. "I mean I've read some books and I know the basic symptoms, but if they're exaggerated like this, is that a problem?"

The doctor smiles at him. "I understand your concerns. This is Blair's first pregnancy and you're nervous." She smiles down at Blair. "You've got a good one here." Blair forces a smile and looks away. She already told her she doesn't have him. "Dan, I assure you, if anything were abnormal to me we would be discussing what to do about it. That's why we're having this appointment today. I wanted to follow up on her symptoms. As it is now, I'm not worried about Blair's health or your baby's health. We'll do all of our usual tests today to confirm everything though."

"Ok. Ok." He nods and sighs loudly. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't be sorry." Dr. Keen says quickly. "If you saw some of the people who come in here and don't really care one way or the other….I'll never be annoyed or upset about eager parents."

"You should have seen me during my other appointments, Humphrey." Blair says guiltily. "I thought the doctor in France was going to cry."

"I thought _I_ was going to cry when you came in here a few weeks ago. You're a protective mommy already." Dr. Keen laughs. Blair feels Dan's hand slide over hers and she's momentarily caught up in the feeling. He intertwines their fingers and her eyes close. "Alright, let's start with the heartbeat." Blair tries to compose herself as she looks at the doctor again. "Blair, I'm sure you remember, and, Dan, you've probably read that it's going to be very fast. That is what we want. That's a good thing, ok?" She lifts Blair's dressing gown and presses the wand to her stomach. The fast little thumps fill the room instantly and Blair squeezes Dan's hand tight. They're all quiet as they listen. She doesn't think it's an exaggeration to say it's the most wonderful sound she's ever heard. "Oh, beautiful. What a strong little heart. 158 beats per minute."

"Wow." Dan says quietly. Blair looks up at him and he smiles down at her. "That's really incredible." She can feel her eyes watering as she smiles back at him. "Wow." He says again.

"Wait until you see it in the ultrasound, Dan." Blair runs her free hand over the back of his hand intertwined with hers. His eyes focus on hers and it makes her heartbeat pick up.

"Speaking of, I'm going to go grab the tech and I'll be right back. We still need to get some blood and urine samples, but let's do the fun stuff first." Dr. Keen says happily as she glides out of the room. They watch as she leaves the room.

Dan goes to slip his hand out of hers but she instinctively holds on to him tighter. She doesn't want to let him go. "I'm just going to move the chair over here." He smiles at her and brushes her hair out of her face. "Something tells me I'm going to need to sit down for this." She laughs and reluctantly lets his hand go. He slides the chair beside her table and takes a seat. He leans his elbows on the table and takes her hand between his. He sighs and brings her hand to his lips. Her mouth falls open as she watches him. "I don't think I've thanked you yet." His eyes move to hers and he looks at her like he used to.

"Thanked me?" She asks quietly.

"Yeah, I mean you're going through a lot to have our baby. I don't even think I realized how much actually." He looks down for a moment. "And then there's the whole having the baby in general." There's a look of wonder in his eyes that she's never seen. It's the best thing she's ever experienced. "Thank you." He leans forward and kisses her forehead before he rests his against hers. She nearly gets lost in the contact. It's been so long... "I'm going to be better. I promise."

He pulls away and she keeps her eyes on his. "You've been fine, Dan." She says reassuringly. "I hurt you and you needed some time. I understand that. It's not like you've really missed anything yet." She smiles faintly.

"Don't make excuses for me." He shakes his head. "I haven't even been fine. You shouldn't be alone in this." He strokes her hand gently. "I'm going to be here for you. I mean it this time."

Her smile widens and the paper cover over her legs rustles loudly as she adjusts to look at him better. "Starting with the book?" She raises her eyebrows hopefully.

He laughs and brings her hand to his lips again. "Starting with the book."

"Alright. Let's look at your baby!" Dr. Keen comes in excitedly. "Blair, you remember Liz." Blair nods her head and smiles at the other young woman.

"This is Dan. He's my baby's father." Blair says cheerfully as Liz takes her place on the other side of her. She loves having him here with her.

"Oh, great. I'm glad everyone can be here today. It's a little early, but I'm hoping we might get some idea of the sex if you want to know." Liz smiles at them.

Blair looks at Dan and bites her lip. She has her suspicions about the sex, but she really wants to know for sure. She has to be ready for the arrival. "What?" He looks at her curiously. She widens her eyes. "Oh. I know which battles to pick with you, Waldorf. This isn't one of them." He smiles playfully. "I want to know too anyway." She sighs happily and looks at Liz. She is so ready for this. And she can't wait for Dan to see their baby.

"Blair, I'm loving this guy more and more." Dr. Keen jokes from beside the monitor.

"Ok, Blair, this is going to be cold." Liz squirts the gel on her and moves the wand over her lower abdomen. Then she sees their baby.

She gasps. "It's gotten so much bigger." She says in wonder. She knew that, obviously, but it's so different to actually see the growth.

Liz chuckles. "That's what happens. Not that you could tell by looking at you." She adds good-naturedly. "You're still not really showing, lucky duck."

"Yeah, she's got a tiny thing in there." Dr. Keen looks at the screen closely.

Blair's heart starts to pound faster. "Is it ok?"

"Oh, yeah. It looks like it's right on track for the due date." Liz smiles at her. "It's perfect." She winks at her and continues moving the wand around. "Well, the little bug doesn't want us to know what it is yet. I can't get a good enough shot." Liz says sadly.

"That's ok." Blair says with relief. "I'm just glad it's ok." She realizes that Dan's been awfully quiet. She looks over at him and sees that his eyes are glued to the screen. She shakes their intertwined hands. "Are you ok, Humphrey?" She asks amusedly.

His eyes dart to hers. "Yeah, yeah." He smiles wide and his eyes dance over her face. "I'm better than ok." The words make her feel better about everything. His eyes move back to the screen and his smile stays in place as he watches their baby. Her eyes stay on him. This is the closest he's seemed to old Dan, her Dan since he came to see her in Paris. Everything will be ok. She feels like she can breathe again.


End file.
